This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Well, you have the film start with that really annoying and ponderous scroll up the screen. Not a fan of that. Then we're introduced to C3P0 and R2D2. Even way back at the tender age of 5 when I first saw the movie, I could sense that there was some sort of homoerotic partnership going on between those two droids. Very uh, very dainty mannerisms. Of course, it was pissing me off that R2D2 just made a bunch of clips and beeps. Didn't find him cute at all, just indecipherable. What's up with that? Who needs a trashcan with some beeping noises?

Then we get the firefight that has a bunch of stormtroopers running in and dying because their armor does absolutely **** all. Luckily, the Rebel guards have about the same level of marksmanship and no armor. Darth Vader comes in... he's not bad, he's kinda cool looking. But uh, then we get to Princess Leia. And ya know, I just don't find Carrie Fisher attractive. She's not a good looking woman. Not a fan of her. You kinda get the sense she's trying really hard to stay skinny by vomiting after meals or something.

Annnd then we get the two droids walking around this barren desert and bickering at one another. I dunno... it just seemed really... boring and mundane. Not much of a crowd pleaser. It's also a very one sided conversation, since the little **** can only make beeps and clicks. **** him... I really thought it was good that he got tasered or whatnot.

So yadda yadda yadda and... we finally come to the hero of the entire film... Luke ****ing Skywalker. Our protagonist, if you will. A little whiny farm boy. Oh my God I cannot stand Luke. Or maybe it's Mark Hamill. Maybe Mark Hamill was the problem, but I didn't like him. And this was before his face got all mangled up in ESB. Dude really resembled some sort of mongoloid then. But in ANH, he was just really whiny and annoying and hard to stomach. The way he would just stare at those two setting suns like he'd never seen them before in his ****ing life. You just didn't see why we should care about this guy, who whines about wanting to go join his friends at some academy. Or he's going to Toshi to get water vapor machines or something... it just doesn't inspire any sort of liking to this guy. Later on, we find out he also has a thing for his sister. What the ****.

We meet Obi Wan Kenobi. Ridiculous name, of course. I can't see why anyone would think that's a name at all. Just **** But whatever. He rescues Luke from those sand people. Which was sad, cause I really wanted them to kill Luke and maybe eat his entrails? But no, we get treated to more of Mark Hamill's hammy ass acting as he acts surprised to learn more about his father. We see the first scene with the lightsaber, which looks awful of course, because this was the original version of the film I saw, back on VHS. No special edition with the CGI yet. So yea, it just looks kinda like a bright snow sword at times.

We go to the town and find Han Solo. Han Solo... really **** and smarmy. Not as bad a character as Luke, but still not all that likeable. Plus, he hangs around with this walking bigfoot ripoff named Chewie, who again like R2D2 doesn't actually say anything we can understand. That's just annoying, sticking in characters that can't talk. Then again, this is from a guy who gave us great lines like "I don't like sand. It's rough. Not like your skin, it's smooth. Not like sand." Or something to that effect.

The Force. Sooooooo ridiculous. Crazy mumble jumble. What is it, what does it do? I dunno, whatever George Lucas pulls outta his ass, apparently. New Age mysticism turned into a pithy little catchphrase in cinema. And that's the thing with Star Wars, it's not sci-fi, it's just sci-fantasy. A wizard did it, it doesn't have to make sense. Whatever, I hate fantasy.

The Death Star. Oh god, the Death Star. Why would you build a ginormous battle station with this one vulnerability that allows the entire thing to blow up? That doesn't seem like a very good design. The shaft somehow goes straight into the main core. Of course it does. It's the size of a small moon but they couldn't be bothered to have the shaft deviate in some sort of manner. It just goes straight. And no filters in between. Nothing to stop a missile or torpedo.… Expand

The worst of all the star wars movies. The problem with this star wars film is that it has a long boring decendency that if you start watching it,your eyes will hurt. There isnt the action that makes your heart leap (for example:LOTR trilogy,the incredibles,harry potter 3). If i become a star wars fan any day, it wouldnt be by this boring sci-fi.

Only a cult nerd would enjoy this poorly composed film, George Lucas, please don't make any more movies!

Sorry, guys. I grew up with Star Wars, loved it as a kid, but two things have finally made me realize that it really wasn't a great movie: 1. The Special Edition, or whatever they called it. What garbage. 2. The three prequels. What garbage. It's been a long time since I've seen the actual, originally released Star Wars. But I suspect that it isn't half as good as a remember it being when I was twelve.… Collapse

Yes, I hate this release because it's the SPECIAL edition verions. And before you start flaming me, ask yourself what goes through your head when you watch the SPECIAL added scene in Jedi at Jabbas place and the band starts singing the most annoying song in a galaxy far away. I could go on for days but you ALL know what I'm talking about, those who don't are living in a river in Egypt. I bought the original VHS off ebay...that's what I grew up with. First Lucas messes with the original 3 movies, then he comes back with the steaming pile called phantom menace. Lucas, you suck.… Expand

There is nothing special about the Special Editions. Lucas should have listened to his fans and given us the option of watching the movies as they were orginally made.

It was so interesting, I like the jedi light sabre.

It really isn't that bad, but it deserves a zero because it brang about the end of cinema, that took years to come back to standard, and because their are those bloody annoying geeks who worship it, because it doesn't seem like Lucas was even there when it was made, because the acting is atrocious, because it ended Carrie Fishers career and kickstarted Fords, because it put a curse on any sci-fi blockbuster yet to emerge. The most enteretaining thing about watching this movie is wondering if Lucas will be brave enough to return to directing, and prove to the world how terrible he really is. Episode I and II were VEEERRRYYY bad (jar jar binks for christs sake)… Expand