Ted

User Score
7.0

Generally favorable reviews- based on 729 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Negative: 65 out of 729

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User Reviews

  1. Aug 29, 2012
    3
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Karen wants Andy to stop lying. Why did Maggie, the mother's best friend, fall out of their seventh story apartment window? She knows her son. He's sweet. But whose footprints are those on the kitchen counter top? She needs answers. Andy tells her mother that his belated birthday gift, a Good Guy doll, is actually Charles Lee Ray, an angel who was sent down from heaven by daddy to look over him. "Chucky" for short, the man otherwise known as "The Lakeshore Strangler", is evil incarnate, and in the guise of a slightly effeminate doll, the possessed toy manipulates Andy into being his collaborator, in Tom Holland's Child's Play. What Andy really needs is a dog, but they're city dwellers, Chicagoan urbanites, living in an apartment complex that's probably not hospitable to animals. John Bennett(an only child just like Andy), on the other hand, resides in the suburbs, yet his cheap parents get him a teddy bear for Christmas, when they could easily accommodate a cute puppy for their lonely son. Lacking the wherewithal of imagination that can bring a stuffed animal to life through role-playing, John wishes for his bear to be instilled with life, just as a shooting star traverses across the dusky sky outside the Bennett household. To some, the shooting star, is a sign of good things to come, but for others, it can be representative of a fallen angel, or worse, Satan himself. The film assumes the former, and yet a case could be made for the alternative. No Hobbes, this Ted, since people can see and hear the bear, starting with John's flummoxed parents, whose reaction towards the living breathing stuffed animal is not much different from Karen's own horror when Chucky suddenly comes to life in her hands. Genres are fluid things. Mrs. Bennett compares Ted to the baby Jesus, a miracle, whereas the possession of the Good Guy doll constitutes a thaumaturgical event, the practitioning of voodoo, thereby animating the inanimate with diabolism, a curse. Similar to Chucky, the teddy bear has two voices: a canned one, devised by the toy company, and a real one, as if produced by actual vocal cords. While Chucky is a known quantity, we know next to nothing about Ted's linguistical origins. Who is he, really? When Charles Ray performs the same translocating spell at the Barclay apartment as the one at the toy store, the loci of power that hovers over Andy is distinguished by a fulmination from the heavens, making them "thunder buddies", just like John and Ted, who hide under the covers from the inclement weather as children. In a sense, they're hiding from God. Years later, during a fight, after John calls his best friend "Teddy Ruxpin"(a sort of slur), the first thing that Ted does is grab a Gideon Bible from the motel drawer, and flings it at the thirty-something burnout, who blames the bear for his girlfriend calling it quits. Later, when John and Lori reconcile, they get married at a pagan church, a quasi-religious ceremony based on the teachings of Flash Gordon, with Sam J. Jones residing. Happy ending notwithstanding, Ted is the root cause of John's extended adolescence; his slacker lifestyle, an evocation of the idiom "the devil finds work for idle hands". At 35, John has a dead end job at a car rental agency, and spends most of his free time on the sofa, getting stoned and watching bad movies with Ted. But things could be worse. Like Hellboy, the star of the Gullimero del Toro films, Ted fell in the right hands, in which kindness helped nurture win the fight over nature, and tempered the inherent wickedness of the monster. The filmmaker, intentional or not, accentuates the bear's position as a surrogate dog, when the short-lived celebrity, bristling over having to find menial work, says: "This is how the cast of Different Strokes feel every hour." Julie Sawyer, a struggling actress in Samuel Fuller's White Dog, loses a role to Laura Drummond, whose last name, of course, is the same as the father who adopts Willis and Arnold. Easily Ted could have taken to hate crimes, along the lines of Julie's German shepherd, a "white dog", or rather, an attack dog, specially trained to kill black people. Donny, the stalker who kidnaps Ted, has the potential of undoing the bear's sound upbringing, thereby intensifying the racist disposition the stuffed animal has towards Latinos into action. At a drug-fueled party, the stoned pair talk about opening an Italian restaurant, an exclusive one, if Ted has his way. While the bear concedes to permitting Jews as patrons, he draws the line on Mexicans. A misogynist, too, Ted displays a particular hatred for the local women. In that aforementioned fight with John, the comic tone of their no holds barred brawl obscures Ted's intent to kill John. His disrespect for the "good book" reveals the latent devil inside. Without the counterbalancing effect of love, Ted could have become a "brown bear", or perhaps, "The Boston Strangler". Expand
  2. BKM
    Jan 17, 2013
    5
    MacFarlane is a genuinely talented and funny guy, but Ted too often feels like an episode of Family Guy stretched far too thin. There's plenty of pop cultural references, 80's nostalgia, crude humor and inside jokes but for the most party they don't feel particularly original or funny. You get the sense that there's a truly uproarious 30 minute short film trying to break free from thisMacFarlane is a genuinely talented and funny guy, but Ted too often feels like an episode of Family Guy stretched far too thin. There's plenty of pop cultural references, 80's nostalgia, crude humor and inside jokes but for the most party they don't feel particularly original or funny. You get the sense that there's a truly uproarious 30 minute short film trying to break free from this overstuffed story. Expand
  3. Jul 30, 2012
    9
    Just a very funny original movie that will leave you howling. Loved it. Ted just told me that this review must be 150 words or longer. I hope I get an A? Are we back in Junior High School? C'mon the movie was a scream. Just go and enjoy it.
  4. Jul 8, 2012
    4
    Wife and I like a raunchy funny movie just like most. Ted provides some good laughs, is a decent story, ans Giovanni ribisi was flat-out hysterical! That all said, I wouldn't go with high expectations, and children should not be seeing Ted!
  5. Aug 17, 2013
    7
    While I do have a couple of issues with Ted most of them are me just looking at the film for what it could have been along with nitpicking. When you finish watching a comedy you should not be thinking too much about your issues with the characters or the story but rather should ask yourself the question whether or not you laughed and if so how much and how hard. With this movie a laughedWhile I do have a couple of issues with Ted most of them are me just looking at the film for what it could have been along with nitpicking. When you finish watching a comedy you should not be thinking too much about your issues with the characters or the story but rather should ask yourself the question whether or not you laughed and if so how much and how hard. With this movie a laughed quite a few times such to the point that I do not mind the clichés and the unaddressed issue at the end of the film. While the film is not hilarious it is still funny and definitely worth a watch. I am glad I saw it and if Seth McFarlene makes more movies I only hope that he keeps me laughing. Expand
  6. Jul 6, 2012
    8
    Ted is not a kids movie, yet I saw tons of kids at the last evening performance. Bad parenting exists. Ted is very crude at times and consistently goes for race humor. But I still thought the movie was funny. Some people will be turned off by some of the more extreme comic moments and that's ok. This movie is not for everybody, especially not kids.
  7. Jul 2, 2012
    5
    I was anticipating a roller-coaster of laugh out loud and cringe worthy in steady intervals. Instead Ted really just glides at average speeds. Nothing was absurd or unbearable but nothing was all that funny either. The trailers ruined a good amount of the better material.
  8. Sep 7, 2012
    7
    Seth MacFarlane was finally allowed to go balls-out and take his vulgar, insulting, dry humor to an R-rated movie. And clearly he enjoyed it. Showing the blurry line between TV and movies these days, Ted is only slightly worse than his show, "Family Guy," tastefully speaking. "Ted" is very funny with co-star Mark Wahlberg perfectly cast as a dim-witted Bostonian trying to grow up withoutSeth MacFarlane was finally allowed to go balls-out and take his vulgar, insulting, dry humor to an R-rated movie. And clearly he enjoyed it. Showing the blurry line between TV and movies these days, Ted is only slightly worse than his show, "Family Guy," tastefully speaking. "Ted" is very funny with co-star Mark Wahlberg perfectly cast as a dim-witted Bostonian trying to grow up without needing his lifelong companion, "Ted.". The premise is genius, wrapping such vulgarity around a childish fantasy, but where "Ted" goes wrong for me is that it seemed entirely too much like everything else Seth has done. Seth is obviously one of the funniest comedy writers out there, but what Seth needs to do is take some lessons from Trey Parker and Matt Stone. While Seth might be bold in his content, the delivery is always in a one-liner mode. The South Park guys deliver their vulgarity is better stories, dialogue and with an honesty that they really aren't interested in sugar-coating the insult. Seth's writing always comes across as intentionally shocking with a back-handed , "what? What did say?" attitude afterward. "Ted" was cute, very funny, but in a cowardly way. However, I can say that I'll never look at parsnips in the same way again. Expand
  9. Jul 29, 2012
    7
    After going to so many movies where it seemed that graphic violence had substituted for plot and character development, it was a great change to go to a movie where rapid fire one liners substituted for everything. I needed this silly movie to pick up my mood. Yes the vehicles worn out but the jokes land more that they miss. A night of rowdy comedy with hookers,bongs, getting stoned and aAfter going to so many movies where it seemed that graphic violence had substituted for plot and character development, it was a great change to go to a movie where rapid fire one liners substituted for everything. I needed this silly movie to pick up my mood. Yes the vehicles worn out but the jokes land more that they miss. A night of rowdy comedy with hookers,bongs, getting stoned and a talking perverted bear were just what I needed. A pleasant surprise. Expand
  10. May 6, 2013
    5
    So, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublime to the ridiculous. Also, one minute Ted is ‘Brian’ for Family Guy and the next he turns into ‘Peter Griffin’ from the same show (despite his denials).So, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublime to the ridiculous. Also, one minute Ted is ‘Brian’ for Family Guy and the next he turns into ‘Peter Griffin’ from the same show (despite his denials). I thought both Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis did a good job; both of their characters were quite believable. Ultimately though I did find it lacked the one thing it so desperately needed; heart. Still, I’m sure the many devotees of ‘Family Guy’ will love this one but for me, sadly, it’s a bit of a dud.

    SteelMonster’s verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED (…unless you’re a really big fan of Family Guy, in which case why haven’t you seen it yet!)

    My score: 5.3/10
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  11. Jul 13, 2012
    7
    If you appreciate "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane's irreverent brand of humor (bodily functions, racial and sexual jibes, liberal four-letters), you're bound to love his first feature. Mark Wahlberg plays a mid-thirties man who's still dependent on his teddy bear, which became his real-life best friend when he was a boy. This causes problems with his job performance and his humanIf you appreciate "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane's irreverent brand of humor (bodily functions, racial and sexual jibes, liberal four-letters), you're bound to love his first feature. Mark Wahlberg plays a mid-thirties man who's still dependent on his teddy bear, which became his real-life best friend when he was a boy. This causes problems with his job performance and his human relationship (Mila Kunis). Having a cuddly stuffed animal that cusses constantly, smokes pot and is sex-obsessed is sufficient source of comedy for many, but writer/Ted's voice MacFarlane manages a steady stream of truly funny wisecracks (and no group is spared). The rest of the cast and predictable plot basically serve to support Ted's tour de force. Expand
  12. Aug 10, 2015
    10
    GREAT COMEDY!! And i don't use that term lightly ever. The critics on the left are morons. This movie has it all. Great cameos throughout, great story, hot chicks and Family Guy style humor i love.
  13. Jan 10, 2014
    3
    I fail to see what so many people find funny about this movie. As a former fan of both American Dad and Family Guy I had high hopes for this movie, especially because the trailers looked hilarious. Unfortunately I found that 99% of the movies funny material is in the trailer. This is a movie that tries to get by on vulgarity alone. It's like Seth MacFarlane is hoping that you'll ignore howI fail to see what so many people find funny about this movie. As a former fan of both American Dad and Family Guy I had high hopes for this movie, especially because the trailers looked hilarious. Unfortunately I found that 99% of the movies funny material is in the trailer. This is a movie that tries to get by on vulgarity alone. It's like Seth MacFarlane is hoping that you'll ignore how unnecessarily vulgar this movie is and laugh at it just because a teddy bear is the one doing these crude and painfully unfunny things.

    As far as the plot goes it's a tale about growing up mixed with both a rom-com and a bromance flick. An interesting combination to say the least, but the shear unbridled obscenity of the "humor" drowns out any hint of sentimentality this movie might have had. I don't mind vulgar humor as long as it's funny, and I just can't view this movie as funny. To me it's like Seth MacFarlane had so much pent up dirty humor inside him that he couldn't unleash on one of his TV shows, that he just decided to cram as much of it as he could into a movie with out any thought or care about whether or not it was actually funny.

    I found this to be a colossal waste of my time and the film never got anything more from a chuckle from me. I don't personally recommend it, but you might be like a lot of the other people out there who enjoyed the film. All I can say is that I found the film to be vulgar just for the sake of being vulgar, and was willing to sacrifice humor in order to be so. Clearly there's something to like here as so many people have enjoyed the movie. In my personal opinion this movie isn't funny. In the end all I can do is just give you my opinion and tell you to do with that information what you will. Like I said I didn't enjoy the movie, but many people did. Do with that info what you will.
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  14. Jan 25, 2014
    6
    Ted is a funny, crude comedy from the creator of Family Guy. It's funny by default to see a foul mouthed, bear drinking live action teddy bear by default. There are a whole bunch of laugh out loud moments. That said, Ted hits rockier ground in the final third, with the emotional scenes failing to take flight.
  15. Jun 30, 2012
    6
    While Ted, the self-titled protagonist, may look like the adorably soft and cuddly, ursine-childhood-friend, such conventions are bound to be tested by "Family Guy" creator and first time director Seth MacFarlane, whose multifaceted voice work merely drives his twisted, at times abominably offensive material. Don't ask how the controversially animated show has run for some 13 years, but itWhile Ted, the self-titled protagonist, may look like the adorably soft and cuddly, ursine-childhood-friend, such conventions are bound to be tested by "Family Guy" creator and first time director Seth MacFarlane, whose multifaceted voice work merely drives his twisted, at times abominably offensive material. Don't ask how the controversially animated show has run for some 13 years, but it might have to do with saying what others dare not; rest assured, audiences can expect the same bold-faced audacity in his directorial debut, an intriguing blend of live action and CG technology, "Ted." This "romance versus bromance" amalgam, is centrally premised around the wish one lonely boy makes one Christmas evening in hopes of transmuting his furry teddy bear into real-life companion; sound familiar? Pinocchio, perhaps? So, as anticipated, the following morning sees once-friendless John Bennett, granted with the wish of his dreams, and the start of what will become a life of Peter-Pan syndrome; only we're talking about something more potent than pixie dust. Hence, the first scene of real-time, where now-35-year-old John (Wahlberg) is shown taking a bong hit with his peer-pressurer teddy bear, now wearing a hirsute coat laden with subtle stains and tears, and complaining to John about how he needs to talk to his "weed-guy" about the activeness of his current supply of grass. It's all so funny at first, seeing a stoner in the guise of what has long been considered the staple of puerile comfort and security. But, MacFarlane lives to obliterate long-standing conceptions, especially mores. Aside from some one-liners that don't quite stick, seemingly procrastinate editing (some scenes feel as if they were indecisively cut), and a slightly unbalanced script, the high-concept comedy is fitting, serving its purpose--riotous Friday night laugh-out-louds--and satisfying audiences. Only, after a while, and some brain-dead lapses in logic (how can a soft, fuzzy teddy bear, stuffed with weightless filler, subdue a grown man, Wahlberg, punching, bashing, and spanking him, while being unable later, to defend himself against an obese pre-adolescent boy?) Ted,no longer possesses the same shocking affectation he laid onto audiences in the film's first hour. It is as if Ted is no longer a teddy bear, thanks to MacFarlane's resonant voice work, and the plot's direction follows too much the formula paved from movies like "Knocked Up," that star a man wanting to remain a nonconstructive element in society, resorting back, time and time again to smoking pot, besotting oneself, and acting like a buffoon amidst life-changing circumstances. Moreover, until the audience sees Ted do something they haven't seen before--the opening bong-couch-scene had already set the bar so high--it might as well be Seth Rogen himself on that couch; the same mystical feeling of watching a fluffy childhood toy become high and talking with a potty-mouth only lasts so long. So, when John's commitment-seeking girlfriend, Lori, (Mila Kunis) is irritated by Ted's incessant urging of his "Thunder-Buddy" John to join him in his life of profanity, she confronts John, presenting him, indirectly, with the ultimatum of "bear or girl." This too, see "I Love You, Man," feels borrowed, and sets up John's "just give me one last chance, Lori" where he, following the design, will find a way to break his promise, and where Lori's egotistically sleazy, and forward boss (Joel McHale) chimes in. And, after the relationship with Lori is halted, Ted is surely going to wind up in trouble, too, right? You guessed it, enter Giovanni Ribisi. But, in a macro sense, "Ted," is undoubtedly hilarious in parts, and with the combination of MacFarlane's expressiveness of voice and the CG-animated, Ted is a character one can only root for, regardless of how ribald he really is. The soundtrack is charmingly, as well as deliberately cliché, but it successfully bolsters MacFarlane's self-mockery and recurring hilarity with the far-from-kiddy-Ted. Moreover, Wahlberg (feeling comfortable in his Boston hood) and Kunis (underused as usual) do a fair job at delineating the on-the-edge couple (albeit the real feat is in acting with a voided-CG-animated Ted). And, Patrick Warburton's (Guy) impassive, basso-profundo-gruff-sounding-self is aptly humorous. As for the peculiar love triangle between Ted, John, and their hero Sam Jones, the vaguely remembered 'Gordon' star won't pacify most of its intended audience, and feels patched together. Likewise, the film's third act, which clumsily throws in some peril to regain some faltering sympathies, looks and feels forced. Ultimately, "Ted" is unduly and deliberately offensive, stuffed with taboo and sacrilege, a tinge of sentimental relish, clumps of aimless fluff, loose strings, and an irrelevance sewn with a real, bearing heart. Expand
  16. Aug 29, 2013
    10
    This movie is simply awesome. I very creative, and the way he acts with the teddy bear really seems real. Its amazing, I can't even imegine someone saying something negative about this movie... Amazing!
  17. Aug 14, 2012
    7
    I know I'm behind the times but just back from seeing Ted. Have to say I really enjoyed it even though Seth Macfarlane isn't normally my kind of thing. I like Family Guy but wouldn't say I love it. However even though Ted has the same crass humour it has real heart as well. Some real wet yourself moments and great cameos especially Ryan Reynolds. If you want a light hearted night at theI know I'm behind the times but just back from seeing Ted. Have to say I really enjoyed it even though Seth Macfarlane isn't normally my kind of thing. I like Family Guy but wouldn't say I love it. However even though Ted has the same crass humour it has real heart as well. Some real wet yourself moments and great cameos especially Ryan Reynolds. If you want a light hearted night at the cinema well worth a watch. Expand
  18. Jul 3, 2012
    7
    Ted, on it's surface is an episode of family guy stretched out onto the big screen to fill a run time. The film draws from a simple plot we have seen before. A man (Wahlberg) who needs to grow up and settle down with a woman (Kunis). The Raunchy jokes and unnecessary references to diseases and disorders will indeed rub some viewers raw. On the other hand the film delivers hilarious laughsTed, on it's surface is an episode of family guy stretched out onto the big screen to fill a run time. The film draws from a simple plot we have seen before. A man (Wahlberg) who needs to grow up and settle down with a woman (Kunis). The Raunchy jokes and unnecessary references to diseases and disorders will indeed rub some viewers raw. On the other hand the film delivers hilarious laughs with the back and forth relationship of Ted and John. Kunis delivers a nice performance reminiscent of her work on That 70's show dealing with Kelso. Ted (Mcfarlane) is the star of this film with his rampant pot smoking and crude behavior. A solid directorial debut for Mcfarlane with even laughs and entertainment to be seen a second time. Expand
  19. Oct 4, 2012
    6
    TED is seriously funny, I LOL'd too much was watching it. But it doesn't mean TED is a great comedy movie. Somewhat its third act was boring and yes, I got problem with MacFarlane himself as TED. It's really good movie to celebrating 20th birthday with your friends.
  20. Aug 1, 2012
    8
    Seth MacFarlane's big screen debut comes in the form of Ted. As a fan of his work I was definetly looking forward to this. And largely, it's hilarious! Ted is definetly the comedy of the summer, infact very possibly of the year. The film itself begins with a young John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a lonely child who upon receiving a teddy bear for his Christmas wishes he could talk. The nextSeth MacFarlane's big screen debut comes in the form of Ted. As a fan of his work I was definetly looking forward to this. And largely, it's hilarious! Ted is definetly the comedy of the summer, infact very possibly of the year. The film itself begins with a young John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a lonely child who upon receiving a teddy bear for his Christmas wishes he could talk. The next morning, John's wish comes true and Ted (Seth MacFarlane) can indeed talk and briefly becomes a celebrity. The film picks up in the modern day where John and Ted are living in Boston. Both, however are still childish, immature and spend most of the time smoking pot! John is also in a four-year relationship with the stunning Lori (Mila Kunis). During their anniversary Lori reveals that she wants more from their relationship but feels they can't move on with Ted around. This tests John's friendship to maximum as he tries to maintain his relationship with Lori and keep his bromance intact with Ted. It results in a fantastically funny comedy. It may seem juvenile but believe me Ted has a lot on offer! Wahlberg and MacFarlane nail the chemistry between their characters as they bounce of each other wonderfully well. Mila Kunis isn't just the eye candy as she fits in perfectly to MacFarlane's witty world of comedy once again. Ted is often hilarious and at times very rated-R, however not all the time, it's largely hit but does have a few misses along the way. What makes the film even more appealing is that at the heart of it is a tale of friendship, love and loyalty. Definetly the must see comedy of the summer and one that is throughly enjoyable throughout! MacFarlane's debut is hilariously impressive , if slightly drawn out but it all pays off in the end. So much so you may find yourself singing a certain Thunder Song the next time a bit of thunder is on the horizon. Dynamite! Expand
  21. Jan 1, 2014
    8
    If you despise tons and tons of swear words and just pretend a good story, look away because this is a movie made for laughs...and damn it's funny! The film is filled with bad words and puns, so many that you'll stop caring and just laugh: in a way, it's a silly movie that really doesn't improve anything, but it's made for good laughs.

    However, I gotta admit I also loved for its morals,
    If you despise tons and tons of swear words and just pretend a good story, look away because this is a movie made for laughs...and damn it's funny! The film is filled with bad words and puns, so many that you'll stop caring and just laugh: in a way, it's a silly movie that really doesn't improve anything, but it's made for good laughs.

    However, I gotta admit I also loved for its morals, because Ted, despite being a drug addict and basically a vulgar bear, it's actually a good "guy" and loves his friend more than anything. Even the main protagonist John is very good and likeable despite being a drug addict too but you'll see his good intentions and actual love for his girlfriend AND friend Ted: it's rare to find good characters with flaws, since they tend to overdo on the flaw side and make them annoying as hell. And all of this to show basically a lot of teachings: the fact that you can have flaws but still be a very good guy, that people easily judge on the surface and for actions (the fact that the girlfriend wants him to choose between him, or the bear is hilarious if you think about it). And most importantly, how we have to move on from our childhood and stop acting as so...but to not totally forget who we were and to actually remind us that "we were kids and we will always have a part of that inside us".

    That, or I'm just overanalyzing things.
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  22. Jan 25, 2013
    4
    The only thing 'shocking' about this movie is how lazy the writing is. Some good moments here, including a really funny bit part played by Joel McHale. Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg are good but they cannot carry a poor movie with a boring plot and weak jokes. The humour was base, unoriginal and just lame. If you're into racist stereotypes and fart jokes, this movie is for you.
  23. Nov 30, 2012
    10
    One word hilarious this movie made me laugh until I cried.This is by far one of the best comedy films I have ever seen and I have seen alot.Not much more to say other than if you love family guy then this is the film for you.now I'm going to watch it for the second time today.bye bye
  24. Jun 29, 2012
    10
    I fi had to define this movie in two words, they would be hilariously awesome. Ted was just plain great, great story, great acting, hilarious jokes, and just an overally great feel to the film. Unlike many comedies nowadays this one actually gets you to care for the characters. Ted was just a great film. If you don't enjoy crude humour then you won't enjoy this at all. Every joke involvedI fi had to define this movie in two words, they would be hilariously awesome. Ted was just plain great, great story, great acting, hilarious jokes, and just an overally great feel to the film. Unlike many comedies nowadays this one actually gets you to care for the characters. Ted was just a great film. If you don't enjoy crude humour then you won't enjoy this at all. Every joke involved is crude, from rascist jokes, to smoking and drinking, to fat jokes, to every kind of crudeness you can think of, but what you have to realize though, is its a joke, nothing more, and frankly i found it absolutely hilarious, i was crying because i was laughing so hard. Ted gets a 10/10 for me, if you don't like crude then stay away, if you don't mind crude then you're sure to have a damn good time. Expand
  25. May 20, 2013
    7
    Not as funny as I expected it to be but it is an entertaining movie.
  26. Jul 1, 2012
    7
    Although the movie is pretty funny, it just recycles all of the jokes that were used in Family Guy and uses a different protagonist and more vulgar comedy. The idea for the movie is good and I enjoyed it a lot, but if you aren't a Family Guy or Seth MacFarlane fan, you may want to avoid this.
  27. Jan 5, 2013
    6
    Ted is an experiment to find out how long people will find a rude teddy bear funny; the answer is roughly 40 minutes. The film is essentially a one-trick pony with added romance sub plot for extra redundancy. It does have some very funny moments though, and is clearly aimed at a certain demographic and is sort of Family Guy lite. The Flash Gordon stuff and the duck ("James Franco") had meTed is an experiment to find out how long people will find a rude teddy bear funny; the answer is roughly 40 minutes. The film is essentially a one-trick pony with added romance sub plot for extra redundancy. It does have some very funny moments though, and is clearly aimed at a certain demographic and is sort of Family Guy lite. The Flash Gordon stuff and the duck ("James Franco") had me in stitches. Expand
  28. dz9
    Jul 17, 2012
    5
    All I heard from this movie was "If you love Family Guy you'll love this," Family Guy being one of my favorite shows, I thought I would have a riot with Ted... but I was deeply disappointed. The main problem with Ted is that it recycles a lot of its own jokes and it relies way too heavily on toilet humor. Seeing hooker excrement just isnt that funny. The jokes aren't all bad though,All I heard from this movie was "If you love Family Guy you'll love this," Family Guy being one of my favorite shows, I thought I would have a riot with Ted... but I was deeply disappointed. The main problem with Ted is that it recycles a lot of its own jokes and it relies way too heavily on toilet humor. Seeing hooker excrement just isnt that funny. The jokes aren't all bad though, there are definitely a few instances of Seth McFarlane's comedic genius with his pop culture references and parodies, but these were too few and too far apart. Another problem of the movie is its premise of a talking teddy bear.. I was "on board" with it at first, but the finale of the movie reversed the mythos and just made it seem silly and not well-thought out at all. But to the movies strengths; Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg were great together and a lot of the cameos did great. In the End: This feels like every other Seth McFarlane project that isn't Family Guy. It's forgettable and stupid with barely any laughs and you wish you were just watching Family Guy instead. Expand
  29. Oct 12, 2012
    7
    When I see the name of this movie I think this film will be awful, but when i see it's so funny and amazing, the actors are fantastic, i realy enjoy watch this movie
  30. Aug 1, 2012
    7
    I'd say "Ted"'s a OK movie. The teddy bear's got the family-guy style humor going on, which is pretty hilarious, But except for Ted, the movie isn't really that exciting; it's the teddy bear that makes the movie.
  31. Jul 26, 2012
    10
    I liked Ted. It was clever and funny. And, come on. These people giving it 0/10, FLASH GORDON WAS IN IT. That has to count for atleast some points, I mean - come on guys. FLASH GORDON. That PenguinMusic is just being a **** Let's not listen to him/her/both?

    I love Seth MacFarlane's humour. It's the kind of humour that makes me laugh. That dig at Adam Sandler in Jack and Jill was
    I liked Ted. It was clever and funny. And, come on. These people giving it 0/10, FLASH GORDON WAS IN IT. That has to count for atleast some points, I mean - come on guys. FLASH GORDON. That PenguinMusic is just being a **** Let's not listen to him/her/both?

    I love Seth MacFarlane's humour. It's the kind of humour that makes me laugh. That dig at Adam Sandler in Jack and Jill was hillarious. PATRICK STEWART IS A GREAT NARRATOR.

    A sequel would be very good.
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  32. Jan 7, 2013
    7
    knowing the guys that made this movie, i was expecting it to not take itself seriously. i was expecting it to give a roller coaster of constant jokes and here and there fragments of brilliance, monty python style. instead, i thought that the plot got too much in the way. the jokes that are in the movie are very funny, as i'd expected.
  33. Apr 16, 2013
    7
    Ted is a great movie. It's a film that anyone of any age can enjoy because it has a good story which is easy to follow, well directed and funny. The right actors were chosen, the length is perfect and it's never boring throughout. OK so maybe the film isn't as laugh out loud or ROFL funny as it could've been, and the story is somewhat similar to Garfield, but on the whole Ted is a solidTed is a great movie. It's a film that anyone of any age can enjoy because it has a good story which is easy to follow, well directed and funny. The right actors were chosen, the length is perfect and it's never boring throughout. OK so maybe the film isn't as laugh out loud or ROFL funny as it could've been, and the story is somewhat similar to Garfield, but on the whole Ted is a solid film which is suitable for everyone. Expand
  34. Jan 10, 2013
    0
    What a disappointment!!! from time to time, I do like watching "The family guy" I find the humor funny. But this movie, seemed like it was a clone of the family guy, made with real actors, but heres the thing, it wasnt funny! I might of laughed a few times, but overall the movie draged on and on!
  35. Jun 30, 2012
    10
    I'm giving this a 10 because I'm a biased Seth MacFarlane fan. Also, if you didn't grow up in the 80s you'll not understand the motivation behind anything Seth does. So sorry anyone under the age of 35.
  36. Feb 13, 2013
    6
    If you are a fan of Family or Judd Apatow films you will be entertained by this one. However, if you are looking for comedy gold, you should probably look elsewhere. Best enjoyed with a group of guys at least 3-4 drinks in when you turn it on.
  37. Jun 30, 2012
    9
    This movie was great for moving comedy films into a new generation like 21 Jump Street. These movies seemingly haven't held back to appeal to reviewers. They care less about the reviewer and more about entertaining average joe, particularily in the younger generations. Ted was bold in many instances, particularly the part when Ted said Johns singing was "Still better than Katy Perry." IThis movie was great for moving comedy films into a new generation like 21 Jump Street. These movies seemingly haven't held back to appeal to reviewers. They care less about the reviewer and more about entertaining average joe, particularily in the younger generations. Ted was bold in many instances, particularly the part when Ted said Johns singing was "Still better than Katy Perry." I found this awesome because her movie debuted the same day, and I hope and believe Ted does leagues better. THIS FILM IS A MATURE FILM. TAKE YOUR KIDS AT YOUR OWN RISK CANADIANS. Americans have a more strict rating system. :P Expand
  38. Jan 4, 2013
    7
    Ted is a nice blend between dark and blue humour that will both amuse and offend audiences and will constantly keep them entertained with plenty of cultural references and an entertaining story-arch. Fans of Seth MacFarlane's Family Guy will definitely enjoy this film, but for those who don't like Family Guy, they probably won't like it at all.
  39. Jul 7, 2012
    0
    This movie made me ashamed to be American. Our standards for comedy have completely deteriorated. After seeing The Dictator and now TED, I'm completely convinced that Hollywood will never release another intelligent, funny comedy ever again. The sad thing is that I was both a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen and Seth MacFarlane, but I have lost respect for both of them. This was a movie madeThis movie made me ashamed to be American. Our standards for comedy have completely deteriorated. After seeing The Dictator and now TED, I'm completely convinced that Hollywood will never release another intelligent, funny comedy ever again. The sad thing is that I was both a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen and Seth MacFarlane, but I have lost respect for both of them. This was a movie made for complete morons. How many times can you say d**k and have someone take a sh*t before it's not funny any more? Has every great comedic writer completely run out of ideas? It's absolutely pathetic. I could not believe that everyone in the theater was laughing at the worst writing and acting I've ever seen. The biggest problem was that the movie was BORING. If you're gonna make a movie about a teddy bear, could you at least not bore me to tears? When that chase scene started and they started sewing up the bear enough was enough. I'm not prude or lacking in the humor department at all, but I just think it's really sad what comedy has turned into. I miss comedies that had the ability to make me laugh without saying "s**k my d**k" 800 times. There used to be real humor with real thought behind it, it wasn't so cheap and void of any class or wit. Now all you need is someone to take a dump, a famous actor to say "s**k my d**k", and a few offensive, unoriginal jokes about homosexuals/Jews/Mexicans/Asians and you've got yourself a golden ticket. People, come on!!!! We deserve more!!!! Is there anyone out there???? Please tell me I'm not the only one who felt this way! Expand
  40. Nov 27, 2012
    6
    I will start off by saying i am not a fan of family...no that is not correct i have never watched family guy so i do not know if i am a fan or not! So my views have no outside influence from a passion for the director or any of his other work.

    The film...is watchable and while the first part of the film made me chuckle in places those chuckles quickly faded away. It is not a bad film
    I will start off by saying i am not a fan of family...no that is not correct i have never watched family guy so i do not know if i am a fan or not! So my views have no outside influence from a passion for the director or any of his other work.

    The film...is watchable and while the first part of the film made me chuckle in places those chuckles quickly faded away. It is not a bad film but nor is it a good one either, it certainly won't be one that i go back and watch again. The story is predicatble and while usually that doesn't bother me i still found myself wishing that it would hurry up and get to the next plot point. The cast is full of famous faces and the small cameos here and there provide a 'oh look..its him' i never flet very much for the main characters. For those looking for a laugh out loud movie this is not what you are looking for.....
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  41. Jan 24, 2013
    4
    From the creator of Family Guy we could expect a demented movie, and so it was! Ted is in some phases fun, but for others it is insane. A plot too poor to earn $ 500 million.
  42. Nov 18, 2012
    0
    This movie was incredibly boring unless you think smoking pot,and having sex is funny. With such a heavy reliance on pop culture this movie will drift into meaninglessness in a mater on months. I find it surprising that some many reviewer though that this had any real substance because I can't see any, other than some mediocre animations.
  43. Aug 6, 2012
    8
    Ted is one of the best comedy's I have ever seen. One of the reasons why is because it is made by Seth McFarlane who is responsible for Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show. The thing Seth McFarlane does in his shows is that he makes things so unexpected and ridiculous that it makes it hilarious for viewers to watch. Ted doesnt change any of that this movie has someTed is one of the best comedy's I have ever seen. One of the reasons why is because it is made by Seth McFarlane who is responsible for Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show. The thing Seth McFarlane does in his shows is that he makes things so unexpected and ridiculous that it makes it hilarious for viewers to watch. Ted doesnt change any of that this movie has some over-the-top ridiculous things in it and will make everyone laugh for days after they have watched it. Expand
  44. Sep 20, 2012
    6
    Ted is considered as one of the best comedy of this year. Yet again, I am finding it a little bit difficult to connect with its American style humor though. For all it
  45. Jul 18, 2012
    8
    I personally HATE Family Guy, but I quite enjoyed this movie. Its the kinda humor you would expect and as far as it goes its pretty well done but a tad predictable. Fun movie.
  46. Jan 30, 2013
    8
    I really didn't want to like this movie, we all knew it would be pop-cultured Family Guy jokes that we had heard before...it was...but it was still funny.
    A young child makes a wish that his teddy bear will come to life, so that they can be best friends forever.
    27 years later, the grown up John (the return of COMEDIC Mark Whalberg, seriously, why does this guy not do more comedies?) is
    I really didn't want to like this movie, we all knew it would be pop-cultured Family Guy jokes that we had heard before...it was...but it was still funny.
    A young child makes a wish that his teddy bear will come to life, so that they can be best friends forever.
    27 years later, the grown up John (the return of COMEDIC Mark Whalberg, seriously, why does this guy not do more comedies?) is living with his has been, drug-riddled bear 'Ted' (vocied by director and writer Seth MacFarlane) who spends his day smoking and drinking an watching TV, doesn't sound funny? Well its really the chemistry that Whalberg can have with something that isn't actually there, that is impressive and credit to him, but the constant back and forth between the two, talking about Flash Gordon, rightfully dissing Adam Sandler, but most of all, the film simply keeps throwing more and more towards you, never taking its foot off the throttle, sure, its a typical tale of a guy's best friend being in the way of a blossoming relationship with a girl (played by the beautiful Mila Kunis) but its the absurdity of the situation that makes it that much more entertaining.
    It is perhaps the crude jokes that are the funniest, but what needs to be remembered is this is MacFarlane at the helm, its his duty and probably favourite pastime is to poke fun at the ridiculous world we live in..and why not to it through a Peter Griffin-sounding plush bear? (Yes, this is referenced in the film)
    It's not a brilliant piece of cinema, but if you know Seth MacFarlane's mind and you know what he is setting out to do, this could be the most enjoyable film of 2012, there even does come a time when emotion can be felt from the film, it definitely has an original twist on a familiar story, but absolutely worth a look
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  47. Jul 11, 2012
    8
    It's not really a mature movie. Well, it's not mature at all, but, if you're a fan of Family Guy, you'll love this. The same style of crude humour is still funny here. I was laughing through most of it, although it did slow down near the end.
  48. Jul 12, 2012
    8
    For those who love Family Guy humour, Ted is right up your alley. It's hilarious. There's a lot of racist and religious jokes and what not, but it's a Seth MacFarlane movie - don't go watch it if you know what you're getting into.
  49. Jun 29, 2012
    4
    Ted is a funny movie, but can fall flat at times. Wahlberg and Kunis are likeable, but Ted himself is beautifully rendered, and is freaking hilarious. It can fall into a lot of comedy cliches, but is a very funny, original project that lets you care. It drags on at times, but overall a solid summer comedy.
  50. Jul 2, 2012
    4
    Has a few funny sections, but overall lazy humor that depends on jokes about bodily functions and things a 12 year old boy might find funny. If you like that type of thing than check in out. Clever idea, and had a lot of potential, but ultimately was just a raunchier version of Family Guy, only not as good.
  51. Jul 30, 2012
    10
    This movie is close to an instant classic, laughed my ass off for the majority of the movie. Good times all around, overall solid movie Seth Macfarlane
  52. Nov 29, 2012
    9
    Ted was maybe the funniest movie I've seen all year. Mark Wahlberg played a pretty good role but Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane (as Ted) steal the show. Mila is absolutely stunning as usual and MacFarlane's sense of humor is so deranged that you can't help but find it hilarious. This definitely isn't a movie for everyone. It's incredibly vulgar and some people might be offended by a lot ofTed was maybe the funniest movie I've seen all year. Mark Wahlberg played a pretty good role but Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane (as Ted) steal the show. Mila is absolutely stunning as usual and MacFarlane's sense of humor is so deranged that you can't help but find it hilarious. This definitely isn't a movie for everyone. It's incredibly vulgar and some people might be offended by a lot of the content. Nonetheless, if you're like me and don't really care about any of that stuff, I think you'd love this movie. Expand
  53. Jul 15, 2012
    3
    This was a very disappointing movie. After seeing all of those people saying it was one of the funniest movies in a long time, I had high expectations for this movie. Being a fan of both Family Guy and American Dad, I felt very confident that this would be a good movie. Boy how wrong I was. I don't know why I didn't expect anything except a long episode of Family Guy but that's all thisThis was a very disappointing movie. After seeing all of those people saying it was one of the funniest movies in a long time, I had high expectations for this movie. Being a fan of both Family Guy and American Dad, I felt very confident that this would be a good movie. Boy how wrong I was. I don't know why I didn't expect anything except a long episode of Family Guy but that's all this movie was in the end. The same jokes, the same cut-away style of jokes, the same everything. That would be fine if the movie was entertaining and it just wasn't. The story was terrible. The actor's were not very good and they were obviously mailing it in half the time. There were some decent moments here and there but this movie was very unoriginal and just boring most of the time. I'll stick with MacFarlane's T.V. shows from now on if this is going to be the quality of his movies. Expand
  54. Feb 22, 2013
    8
    Even though Ted is a Seth MacFarlane movie, I was hesitant to see it. A thirty year old guy who lives with his foul mouthed teddy bear?! I was expecting another Paul, but MacFarlane isn't British, and THIS film was hysterical. Ted is a raunchy real life living teddy bear, who combines the traits of every MacFarlane character. It was pretty awesome, sometimes you saw him as Peter, otherEven though Ted is a Seth MacFarlane movie, I was hesitant to see it. A thirty year old guy who lives with his foul mouthed teddy bear?! I was expecting another Paul, but MacFarlane isn't British, and THIS film was hysterical. Ted is a raunchy real life living teddy bear, who combines the traits of every MacFarlane character. It was pretty awesome, sometimes you saw him as Peter, other times Brian, and so on. The real surprise of this film was Mark Wahlberg. I can't remember ever seeing him in a comedy and I wasn't sure his rather dry personality would work with MacFarlane's brand of humor, but he fit in like he's been doing this for years. I mean he was Marky Mark, he must have some personality in there somewhere! As for the story, it's not much different than a really good episode of Family Guy. Of course, it a lot more raunchy and it's not animated, but there are certainly many parallels, and defiantly some hysterical lines. It's not the kind of film I usually go for, at points, it's more than a little stupid, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I laughed my ass off throughout the film. Expand
  55. Nov 10, 2012
    8
    Fairy tale for adults. And a great, Family-Guy-ish story of friendship. Seth McFarlane in good form, although not so witty as always. Very watchable movie.
  56. Aug 24, 2014
    7
    A funny movie for at least one round of good laughs. Lots of goofing around between guys, immature jokes and good reactions from Lori (Mila Kunis).

    The plot itself is fairly unique, featuring a teddy bear who magically comes alive and remains a life-long friend of a lonely boy-turned-man. That friendship isn't easily shaken - not even when John (Mark Wahlberg) needs to choose between
    A funny movie for at least one round of good laughs. Lots of goofing around between guys, immature jokes and good reactions from Lori (Mila Kunis).

    The plot itself is fairly unique, featuring a teddy bear who magically comes alive and remains a life-long friend of a lonely boy-turned-man. That friendship isn't easily shaken - not even when John (Mark Wahlberg) needs to choose between his thunder-buddy and hot girlfriend. He truly tries, but Ted is a bad influence on him.

    Many familiar voices from MacFarlane's other projects are present. Guy's (Patrick Warburton) character was definitely my favorite.
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  57. Jan 11, 2013
    4
    Ted seemed to be a good movie, although the idea is very interesting and original, because nobody could possibly think in another use for a teddy bear than a toy for a little child. The director, Seth MacFarlane, obviously used his experience for creating this story in which a kid with no friends grows up with ted, entering both to a world of parties, sex and drugs. The problem is that theTed seemed to be a good movie, although the idea is very interesting and original, because nobody could possibly think in another use for a teddy bear than a toy for a little child. The director, Seth MacFarlane, obviously used his experience for creating this story in which a kid with no friends grows up with ted, entering both to a world of parties, sex and drugs. The problem is that the protagonist is now an adult with a girlfriend (asking for marriage) and a job, but he still has ted, with the exception that now it is promiscuous and a very bad influence. The film consists in funny situations about this couple and how it breaks with the adult world. The problem with this picture is that the jokes and situations are very weakly constructed and with the simplicity of a child. At no time this movie made me laugh, even more, I got bored. The story is poor and predictable, the performances are disgusting and the direction is awful, however how you cannot expect a complex humor from the guy who created Family Guy. Is shallow, is repetitive, is Ted-ious. Expand
  58. Jul 8, 2012
    7
    Bear-able.

    You want bear puns? Look no further! Thankfully, though, the humour in Ted is somewhat more refined. For most TV show creators, the opportunity to translate their talents to the big screen comes with a license to push boundaries in new and exciting ways not available through the medium of television. For Seth MacFarlane, creator of the outrageously outrageous Family Guy and
    Bear-able.

    You want bear puns? Look no further! Thankfully, though, the humour in Ted is somewhat more refined. For most TV show creators, the opportunity to translate their talents to the big screen comes with a license to push boundaries in new and exciting ways not available through the medium of television. For Seth MacFarlane, creator of the outrageously outrageous Family Guy and ridiculously underrated American Dad!, it must have just felt like another day at the office. John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) is the loneliest kid in Boston. While the other children engage in unique Christmas traditions, John spends his days inside, wishing for just one friend. On Christmas Day, that wish comes true in the form of Ted the stuffed bear (MacFarlane), who is magically transformed into a living being, the miraculous story of which spreads like wildfire across the country. Fast-forward nearly thirty years and Ted's fame has long-since vanished. He and John now spend their days getting high, watching bad movies and managing John's relationship with Lori (Mila Kunis).

    As if to state the painfully obvious, the amount of fun to be had with this film is heavily influenced by how familiar one is with MacFarlane's comedic style. Each of his animated creations employ sharp one-liners, bizarre set pieces and a ton of pop culture references, all of which are prominent in Ted. Naturally, the humour is all sorts of politically incorrect, with jokes ranging from drugs to sex to September 11. Highlights include Ted's job interview at the local supermarket, Patrick Stewart's narration and a house party with Sam Jones, star of Ted and John's favourite film of all-time, Flash Gordon.

    It is made clear by the closing credits where the bulk of the effort went into making this film, as most jokes hit resulting in an array of instantly quotable material making it difficult to watch Ted without a perpetual smile on your face. With so many references to popular culture jam-packed within two hours, most international viewers are likely to misunderstand jokes about Tom Brady, Pepperidge Farm and those promiscuous 'Bahstan Gahls', but the film does more than enough to keep all viewers chuckling throughout.

    The motion-capture argument typically begins and ends with Andy Serkis (The Lord of the Rings, Rise of the Planet of the Apes) and deservedly so, but an honourable mention must go to this film's visual effects team for the creation of Ted who, both voiced and controlled by MacFarlane, looks about as close to believable as can be. The film tends to cruise in areas not pertaining to straight-out comedy, which may be a direct side effect of MacFarlane's first outing in the director's chair. The plot has been done literally thousands of times before and the character arcs established early leave the viewer in no doubt as to where the movie is heading to the extent that, once you take away the fact that Ted is not human, it starts to look a lot more like every deliberately offensive rom-com ever. Regardless, the film refuses to take itself too seriously with plenty of tension-breaking jokes that, along with a multitude of A-list cameos, work a whole lot better than would appear on paper.

    Ted begins to deviate from its comedic roots just slightly during the climax set after-hours inside Fenway Park (just out of shot: David Ortiz socking a few dingers), but it does allow for an epilogue that, at least temporarily, strikes the audience off-guard by neatly showcasing the charming bond formed between a man and his bear. Indifferent viewers will enjoy Ted without differentiating it from most other contemporary comedies, while fans of the director's prior work are likely to draw a lot more enjoyment out of every scene.

    *There's nothing I love more than a bit of feedback, good or bad. So drop me a line on jnatsis@iprimus.com.au and let me know what you thought of my review. If you're looking for a writer for your movie website or other publication, I'd also love to hear from you.*
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  59. Dec 2, 2012
    7
    Besides a few Family Guy like moments, It was actually a pretty original and funny film. I laughed out loud quite a few times while watching it. Doesn't matter if you are a fan of Family Guy or not, You should definently give this movie a chance.
  60. Jul 13, 2012
    5
    This movie is like a family guy movie. The jokes are mostly 80's references or about pop culture,and seth even throws in a few jokes about Jews, Muslims,and Mexicans. The best part about this movie is Mila and Mark since they are the best actors in the movie. A few parts in the movie were funny,but a lot of the jokes were pretty dry and it something that is poorly written. So if you likeThis movie is like a family guy movie. The jokes are mostly 80's references or about pop culture,and seth even throws in a few jokes about Jews, Muslims,and Mexicans. The best part about this movie is Mila and Mark since they are the best actors in the movie. A few parts in the movie were funny,but a lot of the jokes were pretty dry and it something that is poorly written. So if you like the way family guy has been going then you'll like this movie. If you are expecting a funny movie that has good jokes them save your money. Expand
  61. Dec 1, 2012
    3
    At first I was psyched about "Ted" because wow, Seth McFarlane gets to unleash and it's just gotta be great right ?! Not so much. People, this is a RomCom, yep, romantic comedy. And it's totally derivative, you've seen it all before. And a collateral effect is that it comes across as some weird offshoot of "Family Guy" because Seth's Ted character sounds like "Peter" and he does a "Stewie"At first I was psyched about "Ted" because wow, Seth McFarlane gets to unleash and it's just gotta be great right ?! Not so much. People, this is a RomCom, yep, romantic comedy. And it's totally derivative, you've seen it all before. And a collateral effect is that it comes across as some weird offshoot of "Family Guy" because Seth's Ted character sounds like "Peter" and he does a "Stewie" too, and Mila Kunis is the voice of "Meg" so it's just weird. But look, as much as anybody I wanted to like/love this venture, but it's juvenile, disappointing, and done so many times before. Expand
  62. Jan 2, 2013
    9
    I'm a huge fan of family guy and when I saw the trailer for Seth MacFarlane's first film Ted, I immediately had high hopes for it, and I was not disappointed. Ted is the story of John who as a child wished for his teddy bear to come to life and thanks to miracle, his wish came true. It's ironic how that could have been the set up to very sweet and charming film about a boy and his teddyI'm a huge fan of family guy and when I saw the trailer for Seth MacFarlane's first film Ted, I immediately had high hopes for it, and I was not disappointed. Ted is the story of John who as a child wished for his teddy bear to come to life and thanks to miracle, his wish came true. It's ironic how that could have been the set up to very sweet and charming film about a boy and his teddy bear but instead we have Ted, an incredibly funny and incredibly daring film. Obviously, the star of this film is the bear himself: Ted, voiced by Seth MacFarlane, his voice work combined with the brilliant writing is where most of the jokes come from in this film. It's a hilarious screenplay full of celebrity cameos, pop culture references and very daring jokes that make this film definitely not for everyone. It's the style of humour we see in Family Guy brought to the big screen and it's done very well, Seth MacFarlane shows that he is a great director here and I look forward to seeing what he does next. There is strong story to Ted, mainly down to it's characters. Mark Wahlberg does a great job at playing John and him and Ted have a great bromance going on, throw in Mila Kunis as Lori and you've got a trio that are great fun to watch. Despite it seeming a little out of character for John to be holding down a serious long term relationship with a girl like Lori, the two work really well together. The supporting cast are good and have their funny moments, they're not particularly memorable compared to the main characters. My main problem with Ted is that I feel like there could easily have been more of it, what is in the film is great but there are multiple aspects that seem like they're going somewhere but turn out to be nothing, and some potentially funny situations happen off screen, missing out on what could have been a funny scene. Overall, Ted is just what I thought it would be, a daring yet hilarious comedy that knows exactly what it wants to be, it has a few flaws but nothing that didn't stop me enjoying it. Ted is an excellent comedy and if you're a fan of Seth MacFarlane's cartoons then you'll love Ted. Expand
  63. Aug 2, 2012
    10
    Great film very funny loved all the cameo's some risky gags well gag topics but all the same very entertaining I will be buying this one you can watch it over and over again and it will still be very funny a must see.
  64. Sep 3, 2014
    6
    The concept of Ted is something only Seth MacFarlane would come up--and rightfully so, he'd be the only man to make it work. It certainly does. I'd recommend lessening some of the profanity to allow the audience to better connect.
  65. Jul 5, 2012
    10
    Very funny movie if you can handle the humor. It is definitely an adult oriented movie......about a teddy bear. Still, I laughed through the entire thing, and really enjoyed it
  66. Jul 1, 2012
    9
    If you do not like Family guy then do not waste your time since this is just a long family guy episode. That said the story is nothing groundbreaking but it does flow well and make sense. Once again if you love family guy chances are you will enjoy this too.
  67. Feb 16, 2013
    4
    Ted is nothing more than a juvenile film with crude and mostly unfunny sex jokes. The movie is over the top punctuated by a few bright spots here and there. It seemed like Seth MacFarlane wrote down any stupid joke that came to mind and threw it all together.
  68. Feb 17, 2013
    4
    If this was supposed to be one of the best comedies of the year, that is sad, because it was hardly amusing at all. Instead of having jokes naturally flow with the script they seemed so placed. Decent acting and a somewhat lively car chase scene are what saves this movie.
  69. Jan 5, 2013
    6
    I was quite disappointed with Ted to be truthful. I actually found that Ted became slightly annoying as the movie went on, which is a pretty major problem. The script is packed with Family Guy style lines for Ted, but I found them to be very hit and miss, even more so once Ted began to grate on me. That's not to say that Ted doesn't have some very funny moments and nice touches. ForI was quite disappointed with Ted to be truthful. I actually found that Ted became slightly annoying as the movie went on, which is a pretty major problem. The script is packed with Family Guy style lines for Ted, but I found them to be very hit and miss, even more so once Ted began to grate on me. That's not to say that Ted doesn't have some very funny moments and nice touches. For instance, it begins with nods to magical Christmas films as Patrick Stewart narrates John's Christmas wish as the camera pans over the neighbourhood at night to witness a shooting star. I also liked the way that Macfarlane made the magic of Ted visible to all and that Ted had become an overnight celebrity before his novelty and popularity wore off. It's a refreshing but necessary take on the traditional children's magic tale. Overall, it's a shame I didn't enjoy the film more as Mark Wahlberg plays the role of the lazy, childish grown-up well and also shows a good handle for the comedy aspect. Expand
  70. Jul 8, 2012
    6
    The movie is pretty good. It has the humor of later "Family Guy" episodes mainly filled with one-liners and using drugs and sex to make jokes (which honestly isn't that funny). I think examples of fantastic comedy's are "Anchorman", "The Other Guys", and TV shows like "Seinfeld" and "The Office". Those comedy's all use humorous situations and other comedic tools rather than simpleThe movie is pretty good. It has the humor of later "Family Guy" episodes mainly filled with one-liners and using drugs and sex to make jokes (which honestly isn't that funny). I think examples of fantastic comedy's are "Anchorman", "The Other Guys", and TV shows like "Seinfeld" and "The Office". Those comedy's all use humorous situations and other comedic tools rather than simple one-liners like Ted. However, the movie is still worth seeing because the story is interesting and I did laugh several times, even though only briefly. I do think they focused a little too much on the love-story aspect with Kunis (who wasn't funny) which ended up taking away from the comedic aspect. Expand
  71. Aug 20, 2012
    8
    Not intended for the faint hearted, Ted is without a doubt an instant comedy classic, it takes the cliche family movie and flips it on it's head, taking the various talents at adult cartoon creator Seth Macfarlane's disposal and rolling them together for a showcase of his comedic ability.
    Ted is a stoner movie at heart, with our introduction to Ted being his diluted eyeballs as he
    Not intended for the faint hearted, Ted is without a doubt an instant comedy classic, it takes the cliche family movie and flips it on it's head, taking the various talents at adult cartoon creator Seth Macfarlane's disposal and rolling them together for a showcase of his comedic ability.
    Ted is a stoner movie at heart, with our introduction to Ted being his diluted eyeballs as he breathes through a bong, this is sure to astound and offend few, while the rest of the audience is doubled in laughter.
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  72. Jun 29, 2012
    9
    Very funny at many points, but was a little bit dull at others. This movie was still an amazing first by Seth MacFarlane. It had an originally unexpended, but soon predictable ending. This movie was still great and a must see.
  73. Jul 8, 2012
    5
    I've been a fan of the Family Guy for a while now. Not like I rush to the TV to watch every episode. But when I do catch it usually makes me laugh. The same effect applies to Seth MacFarlane's first directorial effort. The laughs are there...when you get to them. On occasion but not on a consistent basis.
    The film was entertaining and I did have a few good laughs. Unfortunately most of
    I've been a fan of the Family Guy for a while now. Not like I rush to the TV to watch every episode. But when I do catch it usually makes me laugh. The same effect applies to Seth MacFarlane's first directorial effort. The laughs are there...when you get to them. On occasion but not on a consistent basis.
    The film was entertaining and I did have a few good laughs. Unfortunately most of them were already in the trailer, so there wasn't much surprise. The plot seemed to drag a bit and it was beyond predictable. When the movie was over, half the theater stretched their arms and stood up with pause. So, obviously, I wasn't the only one that felt the pace left something to be desired.
    The digital teddy bear was incredibly well executed, and all the actors performed their parts perfectly. But since we are in the year 2012 and we have all seen our fare share of believable digital characters, a movie needs more than a stuffed animal as a gimmick.
    My advice, if you got nothing better to do, are close to a movie theater, and you are not looking to fall off your chair laughing, then go see this one. It'll suffice. But if you wanna cry your heart out, there are far better choices in any online film library. Either way, this movie won't disappoint you.
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  74. Jul 7, 2012
    10
    One of the best movies ever. Not just a simple comedy. Has a serious emotional side, horror, suspense, thriller, action. It's a very thoughtful comedy which is rare these days. Has nonstop jokes. A masterpiece.
  75. Sep 3, 2012
    10
    It seems that in the last few years it has become "popular" to hate Seth MacFarlane, it's sad, but true. Writers, artists and common people alike seem to either hate him or love him. Seth MacFarlane has abrand of humor you either get and appreciate or hate and loathe. I have always liked Seth MacFarlane, because his brand of humor is a lot like mine, his throught process, the way he talksIt seems that in the last few years it has become "popular" to hate Seth MacFarlane, it's sad, but true. Writers, artists and common people alike seem to either hate him or love him. Seth MacFarlane has abrand of humor you either get and appreciate or hate and loathe. I have always liked Seth MacFarlane, because his brand of humor is a lot like mine, his throught process, the way he talks and writes, I can connect to that, I understand him and that makes him even more appealing to me.

    "Ted" is about the story of a boy and his teddy bear. Wishing upon a magical Christmas star, a young man is granted a gift to bring his teddy bear to life. Starting off as a local and eventually global celebrity, Ted and his owner eventually grow up and become "adults". This story has a lot of wonderful meanings to it, as wel as a lot of fun jokes and considerations for everyone to appreciate. Don't ever give up on your inner child and never let go of your best friend, no matter what.
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  76. Jul 26, 2012
    8
    If Mark Wahlberg smoking pot with a Teddy bear (vioced by Seth Macfarlane) is something that might interest you, then you should check this movie out.
  77. Jul 16, 2012
    2
    Where to begin? The editing? The wardrobe? The directing? The acting? All were terrible. Yes this is just like family guy but there was really no reason to use stewie
  78. Jul 7, 2012
    8
    Ted, is vulgar, dirty, funny, smart and mostly entertaining. How is this not a masterpiece in comedy land. well, towards the end of the film, Ted becomes a little to dull with the jokes, with the extremely loud laughs become chuckles. The 3rd act is a little weak, with the first two acts being wildly entertaining. Overall, Ted has some very laugh-out loud moments that will make you want toTed, is vulgar, dirty, funny, smart and mostly entertaining. How is this not a masterpiece in comedy land. well, towards the end of the film, Ted becomes a little to dull with the jokes, with the extremely loud laughs become chuckles. The 3rd act is a little weak, with the first two acts being wildly entertaining. Overall, Ted has some very laugh-out loud moments that will make you want to cry, and instantly becomes one of the funnier films of 2012. My girlfriend and I had a blast seeing this film, and absolutely enjoyed the film. Ted, is one outrageous comedy. Expand
  79. Sep 30, 2012
    9
    "Ted" is funny as hell, original, it has great dialogues, and it is surprisingly dramatic in some scenes. Never before in a film,a character made by a computer seemed so real and human as ted, at the end of the movie he is just like a person, he is a three-dimensional character. Mark Wahlberg and the entire cast is great, the family guyisch humor is so funny and the ending is fantastic."Ted" is funny as hell, original, it has great dialogues, and it is surprisingly dramatic in some scenes. Never before in a film,a character made by a computer seemed so real and human as ted, at the end of the movie he is just like a person, he is a three-dimensional character. Mark Wahlberg and the entire cast is great, the family guyisch humor is so funny and the ending is fantastic. Ted is awesome! Expand
  80. Jul 21, 2012
    1
    Slams on low wage earning men, while praise's unmarried whor....Only some out of touch rich Hollywood scum could create this this monstrosity. Here's to losing more money in the near future!!!!!
  81. Jul 17, 2012
    4
    This movie is just an excuse for seth mcfarlane to get an uncensored version of family guy. He brought nothing new to the comedy scene and didn't even make an attempt to change his voice acting from the mainstream family guy stuff, that said this could have been a great movie... if seth mcfarlane hadn't been the voice actor for one of the main characters and if he had tried to bringThis movie is just an excuse for seth mcfarlane to get an uncensored version of family guy. He brought nothing new to the comedy scene and didn't even make an attempt to change his voice acting from the mainstream family guy stuff, that said this could have been a great movie... if seth mcfarlane hadn't been the voice actor for one of the main characters and if he had tried to bring something new to the table instead of just reusing his same old worn out brand of humor Expand
  82. Jul 3, 2012
    8
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Ted is unapologetic, raunchiness to the extreme, and the best comedy of the year so far. And, it's got a teddy bear behaving badly. In my youth, I enjoyed the company of my very own Winnie the Pooh bear. I cannot remember if he ever had clothes, but he did have these sewed-on eyes that eventually fell off. I took that bear everywhere: it flew with me on vacations, helped to bag fruits at the grocery store, watched Star Trek:TOS, and basically kept me company through all those nights of being an only child. Pooh was always there for me, kinda like a brother I never had. But, what would happen if Pooh could have talked, becoming a live person with emotions and a personality to boot? What if your favorite toy could talk, but unlike the dolls in Toy Story, yours cussed or misbehaved while you looked on and laughed? That is the premise behind Ted, an absolute raunch-fest that's adorable, yet incredibly anti-PC at the same time, and the best comedy so far of the year. As a result of his childhood wish, eight-year old Johnny Bennett gets the dream of a lifetime fulfilled: his teddy bear begins to talk and act with real human emotions. Ted becomes an overnight phenomenon, appearing on Johnny Carson and confusing Ed McMahon, who refers to him as the puppet alien Alf. Fast forward 27 years, and Ted (Seth MacFarlane) is a forgotten, jaded, foul-mouthed former 80s celebrity who is drinking (yes, drinking) and smoking bongs (yes, it is true) with the now older John (Mark Wahlberg). And just like his Thunder Buddy, John is a manchild loser, working the counter at a Boston rental car company with no interest in moving up. John and Ted are connected at the hip, and their antics (including a great sequence where John rattles off all the 'white trash' girl names he can think of), only makes his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) hope that he will someday marry her and lose the bear. But the two are content to hang out, quoting lines from Flash Gordon, with Ted inviting strippers to the apartment while Lori and John celebrate their four-year anniversary. When the party goes awry (and I mean bad in a seriously stinky way), John kicks Ted out and makes him get a job. Viewed as a mere speed bump, Ted still drags John over to wild parties at his place, and encourages him to ditch work so they can watch the cast of Cheers on DVD talk crap about each other. Lori wants that kind of camaraderie with John, but instead must have jokes explained to her and ultimately learns that John has made her ringtone The Dark Vader Theme from The Empire Strikes Back. Eventually, the line is drawn: ditch the bear, or lose the girl. MacFarlanes feature debut is filled with sharp and terrific one-liners, as well as a teddy bear-human fight that might go down as one of the best throwdowns ever. Wahlberg and Kunis have great chemistry and believably carry off the relationship part of Ted. While too sleazy to be called a classic romantic comedy, our human actors do an excellent job of pouring on the schmaltz in the serious scenes, leaving audiences to wonder whether they should be laughing or crying. MacFarlane's dialogue is so crisp and its execution so flawless that this 106-minute film could have succeeded whether Ted was a CGI bear or not. Ted is also filled with some terrific and well-placed cameos, including the appearance of Flash Gordons Sam Jones.. There is a short but funny kidnapping subplot involving a psychotic dad (Giovanni Ribisi) and his overweight son (whom Ted refers to as Susan Boyle), as well as a house party gone seriously wrong, along with plenty of tips-of-the-hat to those of us raised in the 80s and remember TJ Hooker camping out on car hoods nearly every week. But do not think this is just a romp through 80s raunch: Ted also shines in its ability to lend human traits to fuzzy childhood pals in a way few films can. John's connection with his Thunder Buddy is real and flat out touching at times, especially near the film's end. And while that ending feels rushed, the overall effect is none the worst for wear. Again, let me be clear: Ted is definitely not a heartwarming, feel-good film about children and their stuffed companions. It is way too perverse and definitely not for kids, and (without giving it away) the end will honestly be too traumatic for them. That should not keep anyone of age from skipping the most hilarious film I have seen since The Hangover. Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg, take note: this is how raunch is done right. Ted reminds us of the strange habits of our youth and the unswerving connection we had to our childhood toys. But, it also takes us back to a time when we took everything for granted, when our bears and dolls protected us during thunderstorms and laughed with us on the swing set. And while my Pooh Bear is still in a plastic bag in the garage, it might be time to dust him off, although I doubt I will catch him dry-humping a counter or doing cocaine in our bathroom. Expand
  83. Jul 2, 2012
    10
    Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Seth Mcfarlane, great combination .
  84. Nov 13, 2012
    6
    Honestly, I was hoping that Seth's directional debut would be so wonderful that it would gather a lot of praise and appreciation but things didn't work out the way they should have. Ted is not a terrible movie but it isn't a great one either. Some jokes are new, some jokes are funny, some are old as crap and they don't even make you laugh. Seth MacFarlane has put an effort in this film butHonestly, I was hoping that Seth's directional debut would be so wonderful that it would gather a lot of praise and appreciation but things didn't work out the way they should have. Ted is not a terrible movie but it isn't a great one either. Some jokes are new, some jokes are funny, some are old as crap and they don't even make you laugh. Seth MacFarlane has put an effort in this film but the outcome isn't ideal. Not the worst directional debut because you can still enjoy this film if you are familiar with Ted's work such as Family Guy. A few of the scenes are really good and those are the things that keep this film from falling apart. Ryan Reynolds' cameo is pretty amazing as well as Joel McHale's acting, it's funny. The fight between Ted and Bennet (Mark Wahlberg) is one of the funniest things about this film. The narration by Patrick Stewart is a clever thing to do when you have even a slightest bit of idea that your movie might not do good. Overall, Ted is a good movie with still enjoyable jokes and little emotions. Expand
  85. Jul 16, 2012
    6
    Ted is far away from the fun in Family Guy or American Dad. At this point the movie has a rating of 7.7 at imdb and that´s totally overrated. It is a typically hollywood story with a car chase and at first safd but then happy ending. the jokes are meh, not really new except 2 or 3 in 100 Minutes. The rest is all been there before in other movies or series and the voice of SethTed is far away from the fun in Family Guy or American Dad. At this point the movie has a rating of 7.7 at imdb and that´s totally overrated. It is a typically hollywood story with a car chase and at first safd but then happy ending. the jokes are meh, not really new except 2 or 3 in 100 Minutes. The rest is all been there before in other movies or series and the voice of Seth doesn´t help much to it. I was hoping for more, when i saw the rating on imdb before i saw ted, but it was quite a dissapointment, I think Seth did not want to risk too much in his first multi million dollar production and kept it quite comercial and mass apealed. Maybe the next one will keep up to what Mc Farlane is capable of. I rate this 6.2. Saw 21 jump Street two days ago and found it funnier. But both not worth cinema tickets on my oppinion. Expand
  86. Jun 30, 2012
    10
    This movie is fricken awesome and super funny!! I would recommend this movie to anyone that has a good sense of humor because.. just man it was a very funny movie.
  87. Jul 1, 2012
    8
    If you enjoy Family Guy, you'll enjoy this movie. Ted's accent isn't quite Peter Griffin, but it's close. See how many other Family Guy voice actors you can spot. Typical MacFarlane humor.
  88. Jun 30, 2012
    0
    My First Review! 
    I loved every second of this movie. Yes, some parts were a bit cliché, but that's all a part of Seth Macfarlen's humor. Great movie from start to end, I highly recommend this movie; Especially with friends 
  89. Jul 1, 2012
    0
    Movie TED review. Dumb movie. Save your money for another. Leave out the R material and perfect for children. 7 friends viewed day 2 and all voted rotten, waist of time and money. Why write a 150 words, for a review is ridiculous read no further. When I review anything I don't want it to be wordy get to the point. Saw another movie Magic Mike, it was R but better than this, but buy NO,Movie TED review. Dumb movie. Save your money for another. Leave out the R material and perfect for children. 7 friends viewed day 2 and all voted rotten, waist of time and money. Why write a 150 words, for a review is ridiculous read no further. When I review anything I don't want it to be wordy get to the point. Saw another movie Magic Mike, it was R but better than this, but buy NO, watch again, NO. I and friends see lot of movies many types. Movie makers think over 18 must have children s minds? I have seen great movies, funny ones, Hangover, Without a A Paddle, Great Race. For comedy, many others I am sure but these come to mind. Had a hard time finding a place to post this. I don't do this often but felt this one needs to be told. Reviews I read we good, don't see how that could be true. This movie TED could have been made for children and it would have been a great movie, they would love it. Did a children, teen, think this up? Make it PG 13 leaving out the inappropriate parts changing them. And could have worked. Expand
  90. Jul 1, 2012
    3
    Seth MacFarlane has done what no-one else has been able to do - put Mila Kunis in a lousy movie. Don't get me wrong, there were some funny lines and bits, but overall a sloppy conglomeration of R rated Family Guy jokes surrounded by a needless "sensitive" plot and totally useless subplot. Save your money, wait for the dvd and watch the 15 minutes that were actually funny.
  91. Jul 1, 2012
    6
    Great concept and visuals with the bear, itself. Mark Wahlberg was excellent. The problem with the film is Seth MacFarlen, himself. He doesn't know when to pull back! The flatulence jokes and I'm gay/not gay references are overdone and the segment about the "droppings" on the floor goes beyond vulgar.
    Those sections might appeal to those 12 and under but MacFarlen's talents are
    Great concept and visuals with the bear, itself. Mark Wahlberg was excellent. The problem with the film is Seth MacFarlen, himself. He doesn't know when to pull back! The flatulence jokes and I'm gay/not gay references are overdone and the segment about the "droppings" on the floor goes beyond vulgar.
    Those sections might appeal to those 12 and under but MacFarlen's talents are considerable and he needs to aim for audiences that appreciate the adult nature of cartoon life.
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  92. BG3
    Jul 2, 2012
    10
    Ted is hands-down one of the funniest movies ever made. This is a movie that you would like to see over and over again. The movie contains a little romance, a little action, and alot of comedy. Ted is definitely a must-see
  93. Jul 2, 2012
    4
    In my honest opinion, I had expected more out of Seth. It just feels like he does more effort on family guy, than what he did on Ted. Would I pay again to see the movie? More than likely not. Would I get it on DVD? Yes, but I would only watch it if other friends have not seen it and we could all "try" to laugh together.
  94. Jul 4, 2012
    8
    This Movie was hilarious, humor is little inappropriate but thats Seth Macfarlane. If you like Family Guy, you'll love this movie. Similar comedy style and jokes. The story line is a little strange, but makes sense in the end.
  95. Jul 3, 2012
    6
    One expects a certain type of humor from Seth MacFarlane, and he does deliver... just not enough. If you expect to be laughing the entire time through this movie, you will be disappointed. Its essentially a buddy movie/love story you've seen 1000 times before. Ted himself is rather superfluous, you could replace his character with a person change a few lines of the movie and youOne expects a certain type of humor from Seth MacFarlane, and he does deliver... just not enough. If you expect to be laughing the entire time through this movie, you will be disappointed. Its essentially a buddy movie/love story you've seen 1000 times before. Ted himself is rather superfluous, you could replace his character with a person change a few lines of the movie and you wouldn't know it was originally written for a teddy bear. Expand
Metascore
62

Generally favorable reviews - based on 37 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 21 out of 37
  2. Negative: 3 out of 37
  1. Reviewed by: Tony Horkins
    Jul 23, 2012
    80
    A fabulous first live-action effort, combining R-rated hilarity with skilled storytelling as it slips some real heart into the stuffing of a toy bear.
  2. Reviewed by: Steve Persall
    Jul 1, 2012
    83
    It's often convulsively funny.
  3. Reviewed by: Andrew O'Hehir
    Jul 1, 2012
    80
    In a universe of Hollywood comedies that seem determined to insult the audience and pander to the basest form of post-adolescent fantasy, Ted feels almost sophisticated.