What a funny movie it is full of laughs if you enjoy humor and dont mind if the jokes are about sex,drugs and fat kids this movie is for you not for the kids though

This movie made me ashamed to be American. Our standards for comedy have completely deteriorated. After seeing The Dictator and now TED, I'm completely convinced that Hollywood will never release another intelligent, funny comedy ever again. The sad thing is that I was both a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen and Seth MacFarlane, but I have lost respect for both of them. This was a movie made for complete morons. How many times can you say d**k and have someone take a sh*t before it's not funny any more? Has every great comedic writer completely run out of ideas? It's absolutely pathetic. I could not believe that everyone in the theater was laughing at the worst writing and acting I've ever seen. The biggest problem was that the movie was BORING. If you're gonna make a movie about a teddy bear, could you at least not bore me to tears? When that chase scene started and they started sewing up the bear enough was enough. I'm not prude or lacking in the humor department at all, but I just think it's really sad what comedy has turned into. I miss comedies that had the ability to make me laugh without saying "s**k my d**k" 800 times. There used to be real humor with real thought behind it, it wasn't so cheap and void of any class or wit. Now all you need is someone to take a dump, a famous actor to say "s**k my d**k", and a few offensive, unoriginal jokes about homosexuals/Jews/Mexicans/Asians and you've got yourself a golden ticket. People, come on!!!! We deserve more!!!! Is there anyone out there???? Please tell me I'm not the only one who felt this way!… Expand

I'd say "Ted"'s a OK movie. The teddy bear's got the family-guy style humor going on, which is pretty hilarious, But except for Ted, the movie isn't really that exciting; it's the teddy bear that makes the movie.

If you enjoy Family Guy, you'll enjoy this movie. Ted's accent isn't quite Peter Griffin, but it's close. See how many other Family Guy voice actors you can spot. Typical MacFarlane humor.

Ted was terrible. At a certain point in the movie (maybe 30 mins in) I realized this is as good as it gets. It's funny how MacFarlane makes fun of Adam Sandler for being terrible (which I agree btw) but this movie was probably just as bad. It featured bizarre celebrity cameos, it had crude and racist jokes, and even had a homosexual scene or two just like a lousy Sandler movie. I think what makes Family Guy/American Dad so funny is the combination of characters which this movie lacked. I'm not saying it was suppose to be Family Guy movie but it turned out to be a rated R version of the show minus the talking baby, the picked on sister, the funny dad, etc. It's annoying too because Ted sounds like a mix between Peter and Brain (trying to do a Boston accent). Stupid gag humor that I expected more of from MacFarlane. Don't waste ur money at the movies an unfortunate mistake I made.… Expand

All I heard from this movie was "If you love Family Guy you'll love this," Family Guy being one of my favorite shows, I thought I would have a riot with Ted... but I was deeply disappointed. The main problem with Ted is that it recycles a lot of its own jokes and it relies way too heavily on toilet humor. Seeing hooker excrement just isnt that funny. The jokes aren't all bad though, there are definitely a few instances of Seth McFarlane's comedic genius with his pop culture references and parodies, but these were too few and too far apart. Another problem of the movie is its premise of a talking teddy bear.. I was "on board" with it at first, but the finale of the movie reversed the mythos and just made it seem silly and not well-thought out at all. But to the movies strengths; Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg were great together and a lot of the cameos did great. In the End: This feels like every other Seth McFarlane project that isn't Family Guy. It's forgettable and stupid with barely any laughs and you wish you were just watching Family Guy instead.… Expand

Has a few funny sections, but overall lazy humor that depends on jokes about bodily functions and things a 12 year old boy might find funny. If you like that type of thing than check in out. Clever idea, and had a lot of potential, but ultimately was just a raunchier version of Family Guy, only not as good.

If you remotely like any of Seth MacFarlane's earlier work then you will love this film. Firstly, I don't think Ted could have been cast any better. Of course they used most of the family guy characters as actors in the film and it works really well, not only is it relate-able it's hilarious. The script is rich in one-liners and hooks that keep the pace of the comedy at a perfect pace that seem to flow effortlessly through a good, solid story line. It's not genre defining, it's generic as hell. But it doesn't matter. It's slathered in enough hilarity that you simply don't care about the story. I don't really have any negative criticism for the film, the only thing I can suggest to anyone thinking about going to watch the film - don't go in expecting anything more than a comedy. It does what it says on the tin and it's hilarious.… Expand

Seth MacFarlane's big screen debut comes in the form of Ted. As a fan of his work I was definetly looking forward to this. And largely, it's hilarious! Ted is definetly the comedy of the summer, infact very possibly of the year. The film itself begins with a young John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a lonely child who upon receiving a teddy bear for his Christmas wishes he could talk. The next morning, John's wish comes true and Ted (Seth MacFarlane) can indeed talk and briefly becomes a celebrity. The film picks up in the modern day where John and Ted are living in Boston. Both, however are still childish, immature and spend most of the time smoking pot! John is also in a four-year relationship with the stunning Lori (Mila Kunis). During their anniversary Lori reveals that she wants more from their relationship but feels they can't move on with Ted around. This tests John's friendship to maximum as he tries to maintain his relationship with Lori and keep his bromance intact with Ted. It results in a fantastically funny comedy. It may seem juvenile but believe me Ted has a lot on offer! Wahlberg and MacFarlane nail the chemistry between their characters as they bounce of each other wonderfully well. Mila Kunis isn't just the eye candy as she fits in perfectly to MacFarlane's witty world of comedy once again. Ted is often hilarious and at times very rated-R, however not all the time, it's largely hit but does have a few misses along the way. What makes the film even more appealing is that at the heart of it is a tale of friendship, love and loyalty. Definetly the must see comedy of the summer and one that is throughly enjoyable throughout! MacFarlane's debut is hilariously impressive , if slightly drawn out but it all pays off in the end. So much so you may find yourself singing a certain Thunder Song the next time a bit of thunder is on the horizon. Dynamite!… Collapse

I fi had to define this movie in two words, they would be hilariously awesome. Ted was just plain great, great story, great acting, hilarious jokes, and just an overally great feel to the film. Unlike many comedies nowadays this one actually gets you to care for the characters. Ted was just a great film. If you don't enjoy crude humour then you won't enjoy this at all. Every joke involved is crude, from rascist jokes, to smoking and drinking, to fat jokes, to every kind of crudeness you can think of, but what you have to realize though, is its a joke, nothing more, and frankly i found it absolutely hilarious, i was crying because i was laughing so hard. Ted gets a 10/10 for me, if you don't like crude then stay away, if you don't mind crude then you're sure to have a damn good time.… Expand

Seth MacFarlane has done what no-one else has been able to do - put Mila Kunis in a lousy movie. Don't get me wrong, there were some funny lines and bits, but overall a sloppy conglomeration of R rated Family Guy jokes surrounded by a needless "sensitive" plot and totally useless subplot. Save your money, wait for the dvd and watch the 15 minutes that were actually funny.

This Movie was hilarious, humor is little inappropriate but thats Seth Macfarlane. If you like Family Guy, you'll love this movie. Similar comedy style and jokes. The story line is a little strange, but makes sense in the end.

Wow!! A movie about a teddy bear that comes to life. This movie is wrong in so many ways. A teddy bear with hookers come on when I think of a movie with a cute teddy bear i think of winnie the poo. a kids movie. Well not here this is not meant for kids and all. Yes it does have few funny moments but not worth watching. If this is where movies have gone its time to read a book

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I have to agree with Penguin Music-standards for comedy are pathetic. I think people are saying they like it almost because they feel they are expected to laugh. The only two movies I ever walked out on were both with Sacha Baron Cohen, both tasteless, actually quite nauseating. Sadly, besides wasting their own time and money, parents thinking how bad can a movie about a teddy bear be are ignoring the r rating and teaching them that their favorite teddy bear is fine with marijuana, other drugs in the marijuana, heroin, beer, shots, driving under the influence, lude and crude behavior and language.… Expand

ted is by far the funniest movie of all time, you have to get the comedy that Seth McFarlane writes. Anyone that hated this movie needs to develop a dirty sense of humor. This movie was 90% of the time laugh out loud funny. This movie was worth the money and i have new well earned respect for Seth McFarlane. What also is cool about this movie is that every person in this movie has been associated with Seth McFarlane in some way, like in Family Guy, American Dad or any other show he has created, but some are new. This movie will be next to impossible to top. I look forward to another movie from him.… Expand

Just perfect .

My First Review! 
I loved every second of this movie. Yes, some parts were a bit cliché, but that's all a part of Seth Macfarlen's humor. Great movie from start to end, I highly recommend this movie; Especially with friends 

Movie TED review. Dumb movie. Save your money for another. Leave out the R material and perfect for children. 7 friends viewed day 2 and all voted rotten, waist of time and money. Why write a 150 words, for a review is ridiculous read no further. When I review anything I don't want it to be wordy get to the point. Saw another movie Magic Mike, it was R but better than this, but buy NO, watch again, NO. I and friends see lot of movies many types. Movie makers think over 18 must have children s minds? I have seen great movies, funny ones, Hangover, Without a A Paddle, Great Race. For comedy, many others I am sure but these come to mind. Had a hard time finding a place to post this. I don't do this often but felt this one needs to be told. Reviews I read we good, don't see how that could be true. This movie TED could have been made for children and it would have been a great movie, they would love it. Did a children, teen, think this up? Make it PG 13 leaving out the inappropriate parts changing them. And could have worked.… Expand

Ted is hands-down one of the funniest movies ever made. This is a movie that you would like to see over and over again. The movie contains a little romance, a little action, and alot of comedy. Ted is definitely a must-see

An average comedy with worn out jokes. If you are a fan of family guy and hoping to enjoy new jokes and an interesting plot don't waste your time. With the price of tickets and the other movies in theaters right now I honestly can't recommend seeing this. You have heard the jokes before and the fact that Ted is a Teddy bear wears off quickly. Ryan Reynolds gave a couple of laughs but that was about the only thing that sent the theater into an uproar. I was expecting better. It wasn't a terrible movie. It was entertaining but I would wait to torrent/rent/Netflix this movie.… Expand

The first half is hilarious, but the movie quickly tailspins into a cliche Bromance flick in the second half, devoid of any real humor or intrigue. The difference between the two halves magnifies the latter's shortcomings even more. It's a shame, too, as the idea of a magical toy coming to life but never going away had so much more potential this. McFarlane's racist for the sake of being racist jokes ("look how edgy I am making jokes about Asians butchering chickens and owning gongs!") are simply stupid and not at all funny, and the fact that you are never for a moment unsure of what's happening next ruins the film's appeal.

Worth a rental, not worth a $10 theatre ticket.… Expand

This has gotta be the dumbest movie that I have ever seen. The only laughter came within the first five minutes when the little kid that was mugged by the others for being jewish, joined in with them just to deny John Benett a piece of the action, then afterwards, went back to getting his ass kicked. other than that, it was 3rd grade humor, dull, and boring. I couldn't believe the amount of hearty laughter I heard coming form others around me though. Made me wonder if everyone else was given 4-D glasses that made them see something entirely different from what I was watching… Expand

Ted is an homage to old, tired jokes and an attempt to shock its audience into liking the movie. Just like Seth McFarlane's completely unoriginal Family Guy, Ted dares its critics to lambast the movie and when they do, they are accused of being "unhip" or "too sensitive." I saw this movie in the summer and enjoyed the first ten minutes of the movie, when it maintained some sense of originality. Then it devolved into an hour and a half Family Guy or American Dad episode. Each joke less memorable than the one before it. Throughout the movie I couldn't help but feel sorry for Mila Kunis. (Maybe McFarlane has something on her and blackmailed her into starring?) And Mark Wahlberg played a completely unlikable loser. You don't want him to get the girl. Teenagers and 10-year-old boys will enjoy this movie because they enjoy anything that is crass. It makes them feel older and more powerful. Maybe that's what McFarlane's motivation behind his work is?… Expand

I was anticipating a roller-coaster of laugh out loud and cringe worthy in steady intervals. Instead Ted really just glides at average speeds. Nothing was absurd or unbearable but nothing was all that funny either. The trailers ruined a good amount of the better material.

While Ted, the self-titled protagonist, may look like the adorably soft and cuddly, ursine-childhood-friend, such conventions are bound to be tested by "Family Guy" creator and first time director Seth MacFarlane, whose multifaceted voice work merely drives his twisted, at times abominably offensive material. Don't ask how the controversially animated show has run for some 13 years, but it might have to do with saying what others dare not; rest assured, audiences can expect the same bold-faced audacity in his directorial debut, an intriguing blend of live action and CG technology, "Ted." This "romance versus bromance" amalgam, is centrally premised around the wish one lonely boy makes one Christmas evening in hopes of transmuting his furry teddy bear into real-life companion; sound familiar? Pinocchio, perhaps? So, as anticipated, the following morning sees once-friendless John Bennett, granted with the wish of his dreams, and the start of what will become a life of Peter-Pan syndrome; only we're talking about something more potent than pixie dust. Hence, the first scene of real-time, where now-35-year-old John (Wahlberg) is shown taking a bong hit with his peer-pressurer teddy bear, now wearing a hirsute coat laden with subtle stains and tears, and complaining to John about how he needs to talk to his "weed-guy" about the activeness of his current supply of grass. It's all so funny at first, seeing a stoner in the guise of what has long been considered the staple of puerile comfort and security. But, MacFarlane lives to obliterate long-standing conceptions, especially mores. Aside from some one-liners that don't quite stick, seemingly procrastinate editing (some scenes feel as if they were indecisively cut), and a slightly unbalanced script, the high-concept comedy is fitting, serving its purpose--riotous Friday night laugh-out-louds--and satisfying audiences. Only, after a while, and some brain-dead lapses in logic (how can a soft, fuzzy teddy bear, stuffed with weightless filler, subdue a grown man, Wahlberg, punching, bashing, and spanking him, while being unable later, to defend himself against an obese pre-adolescent boy?) Ted,no longer possesses the same shocking affectation he laid onto audiences in the film's first hour. It is as if Ted is no longer a teddy bear, thanks to MacFarlane's resonant voice work, and the plot's direction follows too much the formula paved from movies like "Knocked Up," that star a man wanting to remain a nonconstructive element in society, resorting back, time and time again to smoking pot, besotting oneself, and acting like a buffoon amidst life-changing circumstances. Moreover, until the audience sees Ted do something they haven't seen before--the opening bong-couch-scene had already set the bar so high--it might as well be Seth Rogen himself on that couch; the same mystical feeling of watching a fluffy childhood toy become high and talking with a potty-mouth only lasts so long. So, when John's commitment-seeking girlfriend, Lori, (Mila Kunis) is irritated by Ted's incessant urging of his "Thunder-Buddy" John to join him in his life of profanity, she confronts John, presenting him, indirectly, with the ultimatum of "bear or girl." This too, see "I Love You, Man," feels borrowed, and sets up John's "just give me one last chance, Lori" where he, following the design, will find a way to break his promise, and where Lori's egotistically sleazy, and forward boss (Joel McHale) chimes in. And, after the relationship with Lori is halted, Ted is surely going to wind up in trouble, too, right? You guessed it, enter Giovanni Ribisi. But, in a macro sense, "Ted," is undoubtedly hilarious in parts, and with the combination of MacFarlane's expressiveness of voice and the CG-animated, Ted is a character one can only root for, regardless of how ribald he really is. The soundtrack is charmingly, as well as deliberately cliché, but it successfully bolsters MacFarlane's self-mockery and recurring hilarity with the far-from-kiddy-Ted. Moreover, Wahlberg (feeling comfortable in his Boston hood) and Kunis (underused as usual) do a fair job at delineating the on-the-edge couple (albeit the real feat is in acting with a voided-CG-animated Ted). And, Patrick Warburton's (Guy) impassive, basso-profundo-gruff-sounding-self is aptly humorous. As for the peculiar love triangle between Ted, John, and their hero Sam Jones, the vaguely remembered 'Gordon' star won't pacify most of its intended audience, and feels patched together. Likewise, the film's third act, which clumsily throws in some peril to regain some faltering sympathies, looks and feels forced. Ultimately, "Ted" is unduly and deliberately offensive, stuffed with taboo and sacrilege, a tinge of sentimental relish, clumps of aimless fluff, loose strings, and an irrelevance sewn with a real, bearing heart.… Expand

I'm giving this a 10 because I'm a biased Seth MacFarlane fan. Also, if you didn't grow up in the 80s you'll not understand the motivation behind anything Seth does. So sorry anyone under the age of 35.

Ted is a funny movie, but can fall flat at times. Wahlberg and Kunis are likeable, but Ted himself is beautifully rendered, and is freaking hilarious. It can fall into a lot of comedy cliches, but is a very funny, original project that lets you care. It drags on at times, but overall a solid summer comedy.

Ted seemed to be a good movie, although the idea is very interesting and original, because nobody could possibly think in another use for a teddy bear than a toy for a little child. The director, Seth MacFarlane, obviously used his experience for creating this story in which a kid with no friends grows up with ted, entering both to a world of parties, sex and drugs. The problem is that the protagonist is now an adult with a girlfriend (asking for marriage) and a job, but he still has ted, with the exception that now it is promiscuous and a very bad influence. The film consists in funny situations about this couple and how it breaks with the adult world. The problem with this picture is that the jokes and situations are very weakly constructed and with the simplicity of a child. At no time this movie made me laugh, even more, I got bored. The story is poor and predictable, the performances are disgusting and the direction is awful, however how you cannot expect a complex humor from the guy who created Family Guy. Is shallow, is repetitive, is Ted-ious.… Expand

This movie is like a family guy movie. The jokes are mostly 80's references or about pop culture,and seth even throws in a few jokes about Jews, Muslims,and Mexicans. The best part about this movie is Mila and Mark since they are the best actors in the movie. A few parts in the movie were funny,but a lot of the jokes were pretty dry and it something that is poorly written. So if you like the way family guy has been going then you'll like this movie. If you are expecting a funny movie that has good jokes them save your money.… Expand

At first I was psyched about "Ted" because wow, Seth McFarlane gets to unleash and it's just gotta be great right ?! Not so much. People, this is a RomCom, yep, romantic comedy. And it's totally derivative, you've seen it all before. And a collateral effect is that it comes across as some weird offshoot of "Family Guy" because Seth's Ted character sounds like "Peter" and he does a "Stewie" too, and Mila Kunis is the voice of "Meg" so it's just weird. But look, as much as anybody I wanted to like/love this venture, but it's juvenile, disappointing, and done so many times before.… Expand

Very funny at many points, but was a little bit dull at others. This movie was still an amazing first by Seth MacFarlane. It had an originally unexpended, but soon predictable ending. This movie was still great and a must see.

Funny as hell .

Good :) .

Where to begin? The editing? The wardrobe? The directing? The acting? All were terrible. Yes this is just like family guy but there was really no reason to use stewie

Slams on low wage earning men, while praise's unmarried whor....Only some out of touch rich Hollywood scum could create this this monstrosity. Here's to losing more money in the near future!!!!!

This movie is just an excuse for seth mcfarlane to get an uncensored version of family guy. He brought nothing new to the comedy scene and didn't even make an attempt to change his voice acting from the mainstream family guy stuff, that said this could have been a great movie... if seth mcfarlane hadn't been the voice actor for one of the main characters and if he had tried to bring something new to the table instead of just reusing his same old worn out brand of humor… Expand

Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Seth Mcfarlane, great combination .

This movie is fricken awesome and super funny!! I would recommend this movie to anyone that has a good sense of humor because.. just man it was a very funny movie.

Great concept and visuals with the bear, itself. Mark Wahlberg was excellent. The problem with the film is Seth MacFarlen, himself. He doesn't know when to pull back! The flatulence jokes and I'm gay/not gay references are overdone and the segment about the "droppings" on the floor goes beyond vulgar.
Those sections might appeal to those 12 and under but MacFarlen's talents are considerable and he needs to aim for audiences that appreciate the adult nature of cartoon life.… Expand

One expects a certain type of humor from Seth MacFarlane, and he does deliver... just not enough. If you expect to be laughing the entire time through this movie, you will be disappointed. Its essentially a buddy movie/love story you've seen 1000 times before. Ted himself is rather superfluous, you could replace his character with a person change a few lines of the movie and you wouldn't know it was originally written for a teddy bear.… Expand

So FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While it was funny to a point, I could have just watched a few episodes of Family Guy and got the same exact material. It was built up way too much and like a lot of movies, the previews showed just about all the funny parts. I would still recommend it though for anyone that enjoys McFarlene's TV shows

Movie bad but entertaining ...

Ted is not a kids movie, yet I saw tons of kids at the last evening performance. Bad parenting exists. Ted is very crude at times and consistently goes for race humor. But I still thought the movie was funny. Some people will be turned off by some of the more extreme comic moments and that's ok. This movie is not for everybody, especially not kids.

Ted, on it's surface is an episode of family guy stretched out onto the big screen to fill a run time. The film draws from a simple plot we have seen before. A man (Wahlberg) who needs to grow up and settle down with a woman (Kunis). The Raunchy jokes and unnecessary references to diseases and disorders will indeed rub some viewers raw. On the other hand the film delivers hilarious laughs with the back and forth relationship of Ted and John. Kunis delivers a nice performance reminiscent of her work on That 70's show dealing with Kelso. Ted (Mcfarlane) is the star of this film with his rampant pot smoking and crude behavior. A solid directorial debut for Mcfarlane with even laughs and entertainment to be seen a second time.… Expand

One word hilarious this movie made me laugh until I cried.This is by far one of the best comedy films I have ever seen and I have seen alot.Not much more to say other than if you love family guy then this is the film for you.now I'm going to watch it for the second time today.bye bye

Although the movie is pretty funny, it just recycles all of the jokes that were used in Family Guy and uses a different protagonist and more vulgar comedy. The idea for the movie is good and I enjoyed it a lot, but if you aren't a Family Guy or Seth MacFarlane fan, you may want to avoid this.

This movie was great for moving comedy films into a new generation like 21 Jump Street. These movies seemingly haven't held back to appeal to reviewers. They care less about the reviewer and more about entertaining average joe, particularily in the younger generations. Ted was bold in many instances, particularly the part when Ted said Johns singing was "Still better than Katy Perry." I found this awesome because her movie debuted the same day, and I hope and believe Ted does leagues better. THIS FILM IS A MATURE FILM. TAKE YOUR KIDS AT YOUR OWN RISK CANADIANS. Americans have a more strict rating system. :P… Expand

It's not really a mature movie. Well, it's not mature at all, but, if you're a fan of Family Guy, you'll love this. The same style of crude humour is still funny here. I was laughing through most of it, although it did slow down near the end.

Bear-able.

You want bear puns? Look no further! Thankfully, though, the humour in Ted is somewhat more refined. For most TV show creators, the opportunity to translate their talents to the big screen comes with a license to push boundaries in new and exciting ways not available through the medium of television. For Seth MacFarlane, creator of the outrageously outrageous Family Guy and ridiculously underrated American Dad!, it must have just felt like another day at the office. John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) is the loneliest kid in Boston. While the other children engage in unique Christmas traditions, John spends his days inside, wishing for just one friend. On Christmas Day, that wish comes true in the form of Ted the stuffed bear (MacFarlane), who is magically transformed into a living being, the miraculous story of which spreads like wildfire across the country. Fast-forward nearly thirty years and Ted's fame has long-since vanished. He and John now spend their days getting high, watching bad movies and managing John's relationship with Lori (Mila Kunis).

As if to state the painfully obvious, the amount of fun to be had with this film is heavily influenced by how familiar one is with MacFarlane's comedic style. Each of his animated creations employ sharp one-liners, bizarre set pieces and a ton of pop culture references, all of which are prominent in Ted. Naturally, the humour is all sorts of politically incorrect, with jokes ranging from drugs to sex to September 11. Highlights include Ted's job interview at the local supermarket, Patrick Stewart's narration and a house party with Sam Jones, star of Ted and John's favourite film of all-time, Flash Gordon.

It is made clear by the closing credits where the bulk of the effort went into making this film, as most jokes hit resulting in an array of instantly quotable material making it difficult to watch Ted without a perpetual smile on your face. With so many references to popular culture jam-packed within two hours, most international viewers are likely to misunderstand jokes about Tom Brady, Pepperidge Farm and those promiscuous 'Bahstan Gahls', but the film does more than enough to keep all viewers chuckling throughout.

The motion-capture argument typically begins and ends with Andy Serkis (The Lord of the Rings, Rise of the Planet of the Apes) and deservedly so, but an honourable mention must go to this film's visual effects team for the creation of Ted who, both voiced and controlled by MacFarlane, looks about as close to believable as can be. The film tends to cruise in areas not pertaining to straight-out comedy, which may be a direct side effect of MacFarlane's first outing in the director's chair. The plot has been done literally thousands of times before and the character arcs established early leave the viewer in no doubt as to where the movie is heading to the extent that, once you take away the fact that Ted is not human, it starts to look a lot more like every deliberately offensive rom-com ever. Regardless, the film refuses to take itself too seriously with plenty of tension-breaking jokes that, along with a multitude of A-list cameos, work a whole lot better than would appear on paper.

Ted begins to deviate from its comedic roots just slightly during the climax set after-hours inside Fenway Park (just out of shot: David Ortiz socking a few dingers), but it does allow for an epilogue that, at least temporarily, strikes the audience off-guard by neatly showcasing the charming bond formed between a man and his bear. Indifferent viewers will enjoy Ted without differentiating it from most other contemporary comedies, while fans of the director's prior work are likely to draw a lot more enjoyment out of every scene.

*There's nothing I love more than a bit of feedback, good or bad. So drop me a line on jnatsis@iprimus.com.au and let me know what you thought of my review. If you're looking for a writer for your movie website or other publication, I'd also love to hear from you.*… Expand

Great film very funny loved all the cameo's some risky gags well gag topics but all the same very entertaining I will be buying this one you can watch it over and over again and it will still be very funny a must see.

Very funny movie if you can handle the humor. It is definitely an adult oriented movie......about a teddy bear. Still, I laughed through the entire thing, and really enjoyed it

If you do not like Family guy then do not waste your time since this is just a long family guy episode. That said the story is nothing groundbreaking but it does flow well and make sense. Once again if you love family guy chances are you will enjoy this too.

The movie is pretty good. It has the humor of later "Family Guy" episodes mainly filled with one-liners and using drugs and sex to make jokes (which honestly isn't that funny). I think examples of fantastic comedy's are "Anchorman", "The Other Guys", and TV shows like "Seinfeld" and "The Office". Those comedy's all use humorous situations and other comedic tools rather than simple one-liners like Ted. However, the movie is still worth seeing because the story is interesting and I did laugh several times, even though only briefly. I do think they focused a little too much on the love-story aspect with Kunis (who wasn't funny) which ended up taking away from the comedic aspect.… Expand

I've been a fan of the Family Guy for a while now. Not like I rush to the TV to watch every episode. But when I do catch it usually makes me laugh. The same effect applies to Seth MacFarlane's first directorial effort. The laughs are there...when you get to them. On occasion but not on a consistent basis.
The film was entertaining and I did have a few good laughs. Unfortunately most of them were already in the trailer, so there wasn't much surprise. The plot seemed to drag a bit and it was beyond predictable. When the movie was over, half the theater stretched their arms and stood up with pause. So, obviously, I wasn't the only one that felt the pace left something to be desired.
The digital teddy bear was incredibly well executed, and all the actors performed their parts perfectly. But since we are in the year 2012 and we have all seen our fare share of believable digital characters, a movie needs more than a stuffed animal as a gimmick.
My advice, if you got nothing better to do, are close to a movie theater, and you are not looking to fall off your chair laughing, then go see this one. It'll suffice. But if you wanna cry your heart out, there are far better choices in any online film library. Either way, this movie won't disappoint you.… Expand

One of the best movies ever. Not just a simple comedy. Has a serious emotional side, horror, suspense, thriller, action. It's a very thoughtful comedy which is rare these days. Has nonstop jokes. A masterpiece.

Ted, is vulgar, dirty, funny, smart and mostly entertaining. How is this not a masterpiece in comedy land. well, towards the end of the film, Ted becomes a little to dull with the jokes, with the extremely loud laughs become chuckles. The 3rd act is a little weak, with the first two acts being wildly entertaining. Overall, Ted has some very laugh-out loud moments that will make you want to cry, and instantly becomes one of the funnier films of 2012. My girlfriend and I had a blast seeing this film, and absolutely enjoyed the film. Ted, is one outrageous comedy.… Expand

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Ted is unapologetic, raunchiness to the extreme, and the best comedy of the year so far. And, it's got a teddy bear behaving badly. In my youth, I enjoyed the company of my very own Winnie the Pooh bear. I cannot remember if he ever had clothes, but he did have these sewed-on eyes that eventually fell off. I took that bear everywhere: it flew with me on vacations, helped to bag fruits at the grocery store, watched Star Trek:TOS, and basically kept me company through all those nights of being an only child. Pooh was always there for me, kinda like a brother I never had. But, what would happen if Pooh could have talked, becoming a live person with emotions and a personality to boot? What if your favorite toy could talk, but unlike the dolls in Toy Story, yours cussed or misbehaved while you looked on and laughed? That is the premise behind Ted, an absolute raunch-fest that's adorable, yet incredibly anti-PC at the same time, and the best comedy so far of the year. As a result of his childhood wish, eight-year old Johnny Bennett gets the dream of a lifetime fulfilled: his teddy bear begins to talk and act with real human emotions. Ted becomes an overnight phenomenon, appearing on Johnny Carson and confusing Ed McMahon, who refers to him as the puppet alien Alf. Fast forward 27 years, and Ted (Seth MacFarlane) is a forgotten, jaded, foul-mouthed former 80s celebrity who is drinking (yes, drinking) and smoking bongs (yes, it is true) with the now older John (Mark Wahlberg). And just like his Thunder Buddy, John is a manchild loser, working the counter at a Boston rental car company with no interest in moving up. John and Ted are connected at the hip, and their antics (including a great sequence where John rattles off all the 'white trash' girl names he can think of), only makes his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) hope that he will someday marry her and lose the bear. But the two are content to hang out, quoting lines from Flash Gordon, with Ted inviting strippers to the apartment while Lori and John celebrate their four-year anniversary. When the party goes awry (and I mean bad in a seriously stinky way), John kicks Ted out and makes him get a job. Viewed as a mere speed bump, Ted still drags John over to wild parties at his place, and encourages him to ditch work so they can watch the cast of Cheers on DVD talk crap about each other. Lori wants that kind of camaraderie with John, but instead must have jokes explained to her and ultimately learns that John has made her ringtone The Dark Vader Theme from The Empire Strikes Back. Eventually, the line is drawn: ditch the bear, or lose the girl. MacFarlanes feature debut is filled with sharp and terrific one-liners, as well as a teddy bear-human fight that might go down as one of the best throwdowns ever. Wahlberg and Kunis have great chemistry and believably carry off the relationship part of Ted. While too sleazy to be called a classic romantic comedy, our human actors do an excellent job of pouring on the schmaltz in the serious scenes, leaving audiences to wonder whether they should be laughing or crying. MacFarlane's dialogue is so crisp and its execution so flawless that this 106-minute film could have succeeded whether Ted was a CGI bear or not. Ted is also filled with some terrific and well-placed cameos, including the appearance of Flash Gordons Sam Jones.. There is a short but funny kidnapping subplot involving a psychotic dad (Giovanni Ribisi) and his overweight son (whom Ted refers to as Susan Boyle), as well as a house party gone seriously wrong, along with plenty of tips-of-the-hat to those of us raised in the 80s and remember TJ Hooker camping out on car hoods nearly every week. But do not think this is just a romp through 80s raunch: Ted also shines in its ability to lend human traits to fuzzy childhood pals in a way few films can. John's connection with his Thunder Buddy is real and flat out touching at times, especially near the film's end. And while that ending feels rushed, the overall effect is none the worst for wear. Again, let me be clear: Ted is definitely not a heartwarming, feel-good film about children and their stuffed companions. It is way too perverse and definitely not for kids, and (without giving it away) the end will honestly be too traumatic for them. That should not keep anyone of age from skipping the most hilarious film I have seen since The Hangover. Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg, take note: this is how raunch is done right. Ted reminds us of the strange habits of our youth and the unswerving connection we had to our childhood toys. But, it also takes us back to a time when we took everything for granted, when our bears and dolls protected us during thunderstorms and laughed with us on the swing set. And while my Pooh Bear is still in a plastic bag in the garage, it might be time to dust him off, although I doubt I will catch him dry-humping a counter or doing cocaine in our bathroom.… Expand

In my honest opinion, I had expected more out of Seth. It just feels like he does more effort on family guy, than what he did on Ted. Would I pay again to see the movie? More than likely not. Would I get it on DVD? Yes, but I would only watch it if other friends have not seen it and we could all "try" to laugh together.

One of the funniest movies of all time in my opinion. There are a lot of pop culture references and that's what makes it so great. They're not afraid of use anything. Some lines will probably be historical.
A perfect 10

MacFarlane loves to walk the line in his TV shows, and with an R-Rating he could have crossed it in "Ted." But he didn't. He danced around it beautifully, and had the audience in gut-wrenching laughter all the while.

I went into this movie hoping to laugh and I did, a lot. If you think family guy is horrible chances are you won't find this movie to be any better. Good thing i'm a fan because it was laugh out loud funny from beginning to end. I will definitely be buying a copy on Blu-ray the day it's released to catch all the parts I couldn't hear because people were laughing so loud throughout most of the film.… Expand

Funny movie Family Guy fans will love this. Not for kids though. And I felt it was great acting i felt sad at points of the movie. Still see Ted it is different.

Great movie, loved the jokes. great family movie. I think it might be a bit crude at times but it was funny and that's all that matters to me. 10/10 Great Movie

This movie started out well and was funny initially. It, however , dropped off 3/4 of the way through. Had to wade through the last 20 minutes.Mark Walberg did a fine job of being a bachelor that refuses to grow up with Mila Kunis being his faithful GF trying to make him face a reality of life. Had high hopes for it from the trailers but left disappointed in the result.

While there are many funny moments,

This film was absolutely hilarious, as an avid family guy fan, it was my exact type of humor, and it was more or less non-stop laughs. It focuses more towards a... lets say 'happy' audience. An audience that knows what the word 'funny' means, and can take a joke, no matter how offensive. So many critics these days are miserable and are out to ruin ratings for such amazing films because their own lives are so dull, they want sparks of life like these films to flicker out.… Expand

Downright hilarious and offensive, with surprising heart, we've come to suspect nothing less from Seth McFarlane. However, the film is heavy on exposition and low on plot, leading to an unnecessary dragging feeling in spots.

Ted has some funny stuff going for it. The movie itself has some hilarious ideas, but it's just not as funny as the commercials made it out to be. The story is pretty mundane: Mark Whalberg is brought down by his bear and Mila Kunis has had enough of it and gives our pot-smoking friend an ultimatum.

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Karen wants Andy to stop lying. Why did Maggie, the mother's best friend, fall out of their seventh story apartment window? She knows her son. He's sweet. But whose footprints are those on the kitchen counter top? She needs answers. Andy tells her mother that his belated birthday gift, a Good Guy doll, is actually Charles Lee Ray, an angel who was sent down from heaven by daddy to look over him. "Chucky" for short, the man otherwise known as "The Lakeshore Strangler", is evil incarnate, and in the guise of a slightly effeminate doll, the possessed toy manipulates Andy into being his collaborator, in Tom Holland's Child's Play. What Andy really needs is a dog, but they're city dwellers, Chicagoan urbanites, living in an apartment complex that's probably not hospitable to animals. John Bennett(an only child just like Andy), on the other hand, resides in the suburbs, yet his cheap parents get him a teddy bear for Christmas, when they could easily accommodate a cute puppy for their lonely son. Lacking the wherewithal of imagination that can bring a stuffed animal to life through role-playing, John wishes for his bear to be instilled with life, just as a shooting star traverses across the dusky sky outside the Bennett household. To some, the shooting star, is a sign of good things to come, but for others, it can be representative of a fallen angel, or worse, Satan himself. The film assumes the former, and yet a case could be made for the alternative. No Hobbes, this Ted, since people can see and hear the bear, starting with John's flummoxed parents, whose reaction towards the living breathing stuffed animal is not much different from Karen's own horror when Chucky suddenly comes to life in her hands. Genres are fluid things. Mrs. Bennett compares Ted to the baby Jesus, a miracle, whereas the possession of the Good Guy doll constitutes a thaumaturgical event, the practitioning of voodoo, thereby animating the inanimate with diabolism, a curse. Similar to Chucky, the teddy bear has two voices: a canned one, devised by the toy company, and a real one, as if produced by actual vocal cords. While Chucky is a known quantity, we know next to nothing about Ted's linguistical origins. Who is he, really? When Charles Ray performs the same translocating spell at the Barclay apartment as the one at the toy store, the loci of power that hovers over Andy is distinguished by a fulmination from the heavens, making them "thunder buddies", just like John and Ted, who hide under the covers from the inclement weather as children. In a sense, they're hiding from God. Years later, during a fight, after John calls his best friend "Teddy Ruxpin"(a sort of slur), the first thing that Ted does is grab a Gideon Bible from the motel drawer, and flings it at the thirty-something burnout, who blames the bear for his girlfriend calling it quits. Later, when John and Lori reconcile, they get married at a pagan church, a quasi-religious ceremony based on the teachings of Flash Gordon, with Sam J. Jones residing. Happy ending notwithstanding, Ted is the root cause of John's extended adolescence; his slacker lifestyle, an evocation of the idiom "the devil finds work for idle hands". At 35, John has a dead end job at a car rental agency, and spends most of his free time on the sofa, getting stoned and watching bad movies with Ted. But things could be worse. Like Hellboy, the star of the Gullimero del Toro films, Ted fell in the right hands, in which kindness helped nurture win the fight over nature, and tempered the inherent wickedness of the monster. The filmmaker, intentional or not, accentuates the bear's position as a surrogate dog, when the short-lived celebrity, bristling over having to find menial work, says: "This is how the cast of Different Strokes feel every hour." Julie Sawyer, a struggling actress in Samuel Fuller's White Dog, loses a role to Laura Drummond, whose last name, of course, is the same as the father who adopts Willis and Arnold. Easily Ted could have taken to hate crimes, along the lines of Julie's German shepherd, a "white dog", or rather, an attack dog, specially trained to kill black people. Donny, the stalker who kidnaps Ted, has the potential of undoing the bear's sound upbringing, thereby intensifying the racist disposition the stuffed animal has towards Latinos into action. At a drug-fueled party, the stoned pair talk about opening an Italian restaurant, an exclusive one, if Ted has his way. While the bear concedes to permitting Jews as patrons, he draws the line on Mexicans. A misogynist, too, Ted displays a particular hatred for the local women. In that aforementioned fight with John, the comic tone of their no holds barred brawl obscures Ted's intent to kill John. His disrespect for the "good book" reveals the latent devil inside. Without the counterbalancing effect of love, Ted could have become a "brown bear", or perhaps, "The Boston Strangler".… Expand

MacFarlane is a genuinely talented and funny guy, but Ted too often feels like an episode of Family Guy stretched far too thin. There's plenty of pop cultural references, 80's nostalgia, crude humor and inside jokes but for the most party they don't feel particularly original or funny. You get the sense that there's a truly uproarious 30 minute short film trying to break free from this overstuffed story.… Expand

Just a very funny original movie that will leave you howling. Loved it. Ted just told me that this review must be 150 words or longer. I hope I get an A? Are we back in Junior High School? C'mon the movie was a scream. Just go and enjoy it.

Wife and I like a raunchy funny movie just like most. Ted provides some good laughs, is a decent story, ans Giovanni ribisi was flat-out hysterical! That all said, I wouldn't go with high expectations, and children should not be seeing Ted!

I finally got around to watching it and holy **** was it hilarious!!! Every single aspect of this movie did not disappoint! The humor and Family Guy faithfulness was spot on! Marky Mark and Seth MacFarlane who lent his voice to the hysterical title character had me busting my balls laughing the entire time! Sure the story and some of the events in the film are a bit cliche, but that was really the whole purpose! I watch Family Guy on a daily basis and know the show inside and out. So maybe that's part of why I enjoyed it so much since I could relate to a lot of the humor. However, I think that even non-fans and non-regular watchers will have plenty to laugh about since it has a fair blend of Family Guy humor as well as non-Family Guy humor. Easily the funniest movie I've seen from 2012!!!… Expand

Seth MacFarlane was finally allowed to go balls-out and take his vulgar, insulting, dry humor to an R-rated movie. And clearly he enjoyed it. Showing the blurry line between TV and movies these days, Ted is only slightly worse than his show, "Family Guy," tastefully speaking. "Ted" is very funny with co-star Mark Wahlberg perfectly cast as a dim-witted Bostonian trying to grow up without needing his lifelong companion, "Ted.". The premise is genius, wrapping such vulgarity around a childish fantasy, but where "Ted" goes wrong for me is that it seemed entirely too much like everything else Seth has done. Seth is obviously one of the funniest comedy writers out there, but what Seth needs to do is take some lessons from Trey Parker and Matt Stone. While Seth might be bold in his content, the delivery is always in a one-liner mode. The South Park guys deliver their vulgarity is better stories, dialogue and with an honesty that they really aren't interested in sugar-coating the insult. Seth's writing always comes across as intentionally shocking with a back-handed , "what? What did say?" attitude afterward. "Ted" was cute, very funny, but in a cowardly way. However, I can say that I'll never look at parsnips in the same way again.… Expand

After going to so many movies where it seemed that graphic violence had substituted for plot and character development, it was a great change to go to a movie where rapid fire one liners substituted for everything. I needed this silly movie to pick up my mood. Yes the vehicles worn out but the jokes land more that they miss. A night of rowdy comedy with hookers,bongs, getting stoned and a talking perverted bear were just what I needed. A pleasant surprise.… Expand

So, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublime to the ridiculous. Also, one minute Ted is ‘Brian’ for Family Guy and the next he turns into ‘Peter Griffin’ from the same show (despite his denials).enials). I thought both Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis did a good job; both of their characters were quite believable. Ultimately though I did find it lacked the one thing it so desperately needed; heart. Still, I’m sure the many devotees of ‘Family Guy’ will love this one but for me, sadly, it’s a bit of a dud.

SteelMonster’s verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED (…unless you’re a really big fan of Family Guy, in which case why haven’t you seen it yet!)

My score: 5.3/10… Expand

If you appreciate "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane's irreverent brand of humor (bodily functions, racial and sexual jibes, liberal four-letters), you're bound to love his first feature. Mark Wahlberg plays a mid-thirties man who's still dependent on his teddy bear, which became his real-life best friend when he was a boy. This causes problems with his job performance and his human relationship (Mila Kunis). Having a cuddly stuffed animal that cusses constantly, smokes pot and is sex-obsessed is sufficient source of comedy for many, but writer/Ted's voice MacFarlane manages a steady stream of truly funny wisecracks (and no group is spared). The rest of the cast and predictable plot basically serve to support Ted's tour de force.… Expand

I know I'm behind the times but just back from seeing Ted. Have to say I really enjoyed it even though Seth Macfarlane isn't normally my kind of thing. I like Family Guy but wouldn't say I love it. However even though Ted has the same crass humour it has real heart as well. Some real wet yourself moments and great cameos especially Ryan Reynolds. If you want a light hearted night at the cinema well worth a watch.… Expand

What

TED is seriously funny, I LOL'd too much was watching it. But it doesn't mean TED is a great comedy movie. Somewhat its third act was boring and yes, I got problem with MacFarlane himself as TED. It's really good movie to celebrating 20th birthday with your friends.

The only thing 'shocking' about this movie is how lazy the writing is. Some good moments here, including a really funny bit part played by Joel McHale. Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg are good but they cannot carry a poor movie with a boring plot and weak jokes. The humour was base, unoriginal and just lame. If you're into racist stereotypes and fart jokes, this movie is for you.

Not as funny as I expected it to be but it is an entertaining movie.

Ted is an experiment to find out how long people will find a rude teddy bear funny; the answer is roughly 40 minutes. The film is essentially a one-trick pony with added romance sub plot for extra redundancy. It does have some very funny moments though, and is clearly aimed at a certain demographic and is sort of Family Guy lite. The Flash Gordon stuff and the duck ("James Franco") had me in stitches.… Expand

When I see the name of this movie I think this film will be awful, but when i see it's so funny and amazing, the actors are fantastic, i realy enjoy watch this movie

I liked Ted. It was clever and funny. And, come on. These people giving it 0/10, FLASH GORDON WAS IN IT. That has to count for atleast some points, I mean - come on guys. FLASH GORDON. That PenguinMusic is just being a **** Let's not listen to him/her/both?

I love Seth MacFarlane's humour. It's the kind of humour that makes me laugh. That dig at Adam Sandler in Jack and Jill was hillarious. PATRICK STEWART IS A GREAT NARRATOR.

A sequel would be very good.… Expand

knowing the guys that made this movie, i was expecting it to not take itself seriously. i was expecting it to give a roller coaster of constant jokes and here and there fragments of brilliance, monty python style. instead, i thought that the plot got too much in the way. the jokes that are in the movie are very funny, as i'd expected.

Ted is a great movie. It's a film that anyone of any age can enjoy because it has a good story which is easy to follow, well directed and funny. The right actors were chosen, the length is perfect and it's never boring throughout. OK so maybe the film isn't as laugh out loud or ROFL funny as it could've been, and the story is somewhat similar to Garfield, but on the whole Ted is a solid film which is suitable for everyone.… Expand

What a disappointment!!! from time to time, I do like watching "The family guy" I find the humor funny. But this movie, seemed like it was a clone of the family guy, made with real actors, but heres the thing, it wasnt funny! I might of laughed a few times, but overall the movie draged on and on!

If you are a fan of Family or Judd Apatow films you will be entertained by this one. However, if you are looking for comedy gold, you should probably look elsewhere. Best enjoyed with a group of guys at least 3-4 drinks in when you turn it on.

Ted is a nice blend between dark and blue humour that will both amuse and offend audiences and will constantly keep them entertained with plenty of cultural references and an entertaining story-arch. Fans of Seth MacFarlane's Family Guy will definitely enjoy this film, but for those who don't like Family Guy, they probably won't like it at all.

I will start off by saying i am not a fan of family...no that is not correct i have never watched family guy so i do not know if i am a fan or not! So my views have no outside influence from a passion for the director or any of his other work.

The film...is watchable and while the first part of the film made me chuckle in places those chuckles quickly faded away. It is not a bad film but nor is it a good one either, it certainly won't be one that i go back and watch again. The story is predicatble and while usually that doesn't bother me i still found myself wishing that it would hurry up and get to the next plot point. The cast is full of famous faces and the small cameos here and there provide a 'oh look..its him' i never flet very much for the main characters. For those looking for a laugh out loud movie this is not what you are looking for.....… Expand

From the creator of Family Guy we could expect a demented movie, and so it was! Ted is in some phases fun, but for others it is insane. A plot too poor to earn $ 500 million.

This movie was incredibly boring unless you think smoking pot,and having sex is funny. With such a heavy reliance on pop culture this movie will drift into meaninglessness in a mater on months. I find it surprising that some many reviewer though that this had any real substance because I can't see any, other than some mediocre animations.

Ted is one of the best comedy's I have ever seen. One of the reasons why is because it is made by Seth McFarlane who is responsible for Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show. The thing Seth McFarlane does in his shows is that he makes things so unexpected and ridiculous that it makes it hilarious for viewers to watch. Ted doesnt change any of that this movie has some over-the-top ridiculous things in it and will make everyone laugh for days after they have watched it.… Expand

Ted is considered as one of the best comedy of this year. Yet again, I am finding it a little bit difficult to connect with its American style humor though. For all it

I personally HATE Family Guy, but I quite enjoyed this movie. Its the kinda humor you would expect and as far as it goes its pretty well done but a tad predictable. Fun movie.