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30How can a movie narrated by Junior Brown and backed with wall-to-wall southern rock – a movie that at one point features co-stars Nelson and Carter tied together, surely a first in celluloid history – be so uneventful? Why, it's lazier than Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane's good-for-nothing hound dog, Flash.
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25The Dukes of Hazzard may mark some sort of nadir when it comes to movies made from TV shows. It's an overlong, under-thought and numbingly one-dimensional extrapolation of a TV show whose pleasures were, at best, marginal. See it at your own peril.
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38There's nothing wrong with Simpson's performance that a head transplant wouldn't cure, and the grinning Reynolds looks Botoxed into immobility.
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25A lame-brained, outdated wheeze about a couple of good ol' boys who roar around the back roads of the South in the General Lee, their beloved 1969 Dodge Charger.
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12Commenting on performances here is like critiquing the production design of a porno--it's beside the point. Briefly: Knoxville, bad choice, man. Reynolds, you make a good villain. Simpson, lovely posing. Scott, you're from Minnesota and it shows--but I bet stunt driving school was fun.
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10The movie's so unfunny, it almost appears to be that way on purpose, kind of like an Ingmar Bergman film.
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30Just make sure you exit the theater before Simpson's god-awful version of "These Boots Are Made for Walking" starts playing during the end credits, or you may find yourself taking the straw from your drink and puncturing your own eardrums in self defense.
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30Director Jay Chandrasekhar (Super Troopers, Club Dread) does a fine job with the car jumps. Just try to wake up whenever you hear "Yee-haw."
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20With no plot, character or dialogue worth experiencing, let alone remembering, the film merely occupies space on the screen and hopes for the best.
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25The less said about Simpson's performance the better. From the neck down she fulfills all the requirements, but, honestly, I think General Lee might do a better job with the dialogue.
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38Though its PG-13 rating allows for much cruder sex humor, the movie version of "Dukes" is nearly identical to the TV series in its corniness, in its incessant car chases and in its ogling of the posterior of cousin Daisy Duke.
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12Straight viewing could result in brain damage.
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0There is no wrong time to flush this turd. The only bright spot comes during the outtakes over the final credits.
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0In stiff competition for the lamest thing ever put on celluloid.
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38In lieu of a movie, we get a series of car chases rudely interrupted by the occasional smattering of dialogue.
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Dukes insults not "family values," as the original Cooter claims, just general intelligence. Yee. Haw.
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30YEEEEE HAAAAW! They've gone and done it. The feature version of The Dukes Of Hazzard turns a sow's ear into a bigger sow's ear.
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20So loud, so long, so dumb.
User score distribution:
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Positive: 19 out of 56
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Mixed: 4 out of 56
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Negative: 33 out of 56
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10
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TravisW.2Seriously, who wrote this crap? Have they ever watched a single episode of the Dukes?
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TaylorB.0