Metascore
36

Generally unfavorable reviews - based on 35 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 0 out of 35
  2. Negative: 10 out of 35
  1. Reviewed by: Ellen E. Jones
    Aug 25, 2012
    60
    If you can ignore the disturbing parallels with recent events, this middle-aged, Middle-American "Attack The Block" raises a laugh.
  2. Reviewed by: Betsy Sharkey
    Jul 26, 2012
    60
    Some of the phallic jokes work, others are really lame. Fortunately there are many other funny bits that have nothing to do with body parts that keep the laughs coming.
  3. Reviewed by: James Rocchi
    Jul 26, 2012
    60
    As broad as a barn yet as thin as paper, The Watch is a summertime action-comedy that works almost in spite of its overcrowded cast and loose, pulpy spitball of a plot.
  4. Reviewed by: Michelle Orange
    Jul 26, 2012
    55
    It's not that The Watch is terrible – it's not not terrible, but there are sufficient diversions and more punitive ways to spend your evening – but that it's one of those smoke bomb comedies that seems to disappear even while you're watching, leaving no trace of itself behind.
  5. Reviewed by: Bilge Ebiri
    Jul 28, 2012
    50
    Yes, it all gets kind of old, and yes, it's all over the place, but you'll probably find yourself laughing at least some of the time. Dick jokes, after all, can be pretty funny.
  6. Reviewed by: Connie Ogle
    Jul 27, 2012
    50
    The body part joke to alien joke ratio seems slightly skewed in favor of the former, which makes the humor more than a little repetitive. How many different ways can one film say: "Men are idiots"?
  7. Reviewed by: Ann Hornaday
    Jul 26, 2012
    50
    The Watch takes the same ethos of male bonding, obsession with sex and sardonic violence that has proved so profitable in recent years on yet another summer spin. The tires may be in need of changing pretty soon, but for now the jalopy still runs.
  8. Reviewed by: Claudia Puig
    Jul 26, 2012
    50
    The film is one long Costco joke - but the punch line is never all that funny.
  9. Reviewed by: M. E. Russell
    Jul 26, 2012
    50
    The end result is mediocre, slightly sloppy and a mild waste of a great cast.
  10. Reviewed by: Steven Rea
    Jul 26, 2012
    50
    Reality aside, The Watch is harmless enough - and even occasionally humorous, in a riffy, sketch-comedy kind of way.
  11. Reviewed by: Justin Chang
    Jul 26, 2012
    50
    What's onscreen feels as half-assed and juvenile as it was probably always envisioned to be, suggesting an umpteenth retelling of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" by way of "The Hangover," or perhaps a far less inspired version of "Attack the Block" transplanted to small-town Ohio.
  12. Reviewed by: Bill Goodykoontz
    Jul 26, 2012
    50
    It should be funnier. It should be better. Instead, it just sort of is.
  13. Reviewed by: Michael Phillips
    Jul 26, 2012
    50
    It sticks in the craw. The whole movie does.
  14. Reviewed by: Joe Williams
    Jul 26, 2012
    50
    If this movie wanders into your neighborhood, the only watch that will hold your attention is the timepiece on your wrist.
  15. Reviewed by: Keith Phipps
    Jul 25, 2012
    50
    In spite of some prominently featured green slime and power-beam weaponry, it won't make anyone forget "Ghostbusters" anytime soon.
  16. Reviewed by: Roger Ebert
    Jul 25, 2012
    50
    It's so determined to be crude, vulgar and offensive that after a while I grew weary. Abbott and Costello used to knock out funnier movies on this exact intellectual plane without using a single F, S, C, P or A word.
  17. Reviewed by: Rodrigo Perez
    Jul 26, 2012
    42
    Certainly possesses a lot of energy, but it's never harnessed or focused effectively. As a buddy comedy, all four leads have done better, and you already know what those movies are, and this one doesn't stand among them.
  18. Reviewed by: Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Jul 26, 2012
    42
    If this amateur justice league spent as much time analyzing clues as they did analyzing their junk, in every slang variation available in the Urban Dictionary, the murder mystery in The Watch could have been solved on the first night of surveillance.
  19. Reviewed by: William Thomas
    Aug 27, 2012
    40
    Lacking the bite of "Attack The Block," Stiller and co. are happy to fall back on their usual shtick, with director Schaffer providing barely enough juice to power the laughs.
  20. Reviewed by: David Fear
    Jul 28, 2012
    40
    There's a secret weapon embedded within The Watch, however, and his name is Richard Ayoade.
  21. Reviewed by: Scott Tobias
    Jul 27, 2012
    40
    The Watch perks up when Ayoade's spacey line readings give it something unique and unexpected - otherwise, per Costco, audiences are buying their generic sci-fi comedy in bulk.
  22. Reviewed by: Stephen Holden
    Jul 26, 2012
    40
    The movie builds to a human-versus-alien showdown so sloppily staged that it makes little visual sense. The bargain-basement pyrotechnics suggest that much of The Watch was filmed on autopilot on a strict budget.
  23. Reviewed by: Sheri Linden
    Jul 26, 2012
    40
    Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn play the guys they always play in this sci-fi comedy misfire.
  24. Reviewed by: Marc Savlov
    Jul 26, 2012
    40
    The Watch is awfully lightweight, and while it earns its R rating via some comic gore and a whole lot of hyper-sexualized tomfoolery, it's hardly the best work of anyone involved.
  25. Reviewed by: Richard Corliss
    Jul 26, 2012
    40
    You're unlikely to laugh much, and you may get an unexpected case of the non-art-imitates-bad-life creeps.
  26. Reviewed by: Peter Travers
    Jul 27, 2012
    38
    Then there's the movie itself, which should be crazy, stupid fun but settles for just stupid.
  27. Reviewed by: James Berardinelli
    Jul 26, 2012
    38
    The Watch is a studio turd marinated in eau de skunk that stinks worse than week-old fish.
  28. Reviewed by: Ty Burr
    Jul 26, 2012
    38
    It's another one of those loud, penis-obsessed bro farces, lazily written (by actor Seth Rogen, among others) and haphazardly directed.
  29. Reviewed by: Andrew Schenker
    Jul 26, 2012
    38
    What's perhaps most off-putting about the movie isn't its increasingly stale humor, but the way it ultimately validates its characters' worst impulses.
  30. Reviewed by: Peter Rainer
    Jul 27, 2012
    25
    It's a mash-up of blah buddy comedy and gross-out CGI monster splatter, with nary a laugh to be had.
  31. Reviewed by: Rick Groen
    Jul 27, 2012
    25
    It's a dumb-ass comedy done strictly for a seriously large paycheque.
  32. Reviewed by: Kyle Smith
    Jul 27, 2012
    25
    The danger of dreaming up a predictable adventure for a group of nobodies you hold in contempt is that the audience will see your indifference and raise you.
  33. Reviewed by: Mick LaSalle
    Jul 26, 2012
    25
    As far as formulaic, empty and disappointing comedies go, The Watch is far from the worst. About every seven or eight minutes, perhaps a dozen times over the course of the picture, the movie generates a medium-size laugh. Not a big laugh.
  34. Reviewed by: Steve Persall
    Jul 28, 2012
    0
    This messy mix of sci-fi horror and post-Superbad raunchiness didn't make me laugh once. Not a single snicker, chortle or smile.
  35. Reviewed by: Joe Neumaier
    Jul 26, 2012
    0
    Every summer needs a super-turkey. So barring anything in the next 30 days that's the second coming of "Howard the Duck," the witless, completely terrible "comedy" now called The Watch should win hands-down.
User Score
5.5

Mixed or average reviews- based on 153 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 31 out of 53
  2. Negative: 17 out of 53
  1. Jul 27, 2012
    3
    The whole movie felt recycled and was unsure of what tone it wanted to take. I never once actually laughed, but instead forced a snicker and maybe once giggled. What makes it worse is the fact that Seth Rogen and Evan Goldsberg (Superbad and Pineapple Express) wrote it, and Stiller, Vaughn and Hill are Hollywood's top comedians. The film was just not funny at all and I'm a little worried that Hollywood has run out of original ideas. Full Review »
  2. Jul 27, 2012
    8
    "The Watch" definitely starts out a little slow, but picks up the comedic pace within about 10 minutes (thanks to Vince Vaughn). If you are the type of person that likes guys making awkward penis jokes and aliens getting shot to death in the crotch, then this is the film for you! It is definitely not for everyone, but it is definitely not half as bad as the critics are reporting. If you're a quasi-imature youngster age 14-25 (as I am) then you'll definitely have a good time.

    8 stars out of 10!
    Full Review »
  3. Sep 5, 2012
    10
    If you didn't toke up before seeing The Watch, you are not qualified to review it. Believe me, if you are a member of this film's target audience (which DOES NOT include old, pretentious film critics) you will laugh your ass off, guaranteed. Smoke a j, grab a mountain dew, and enjoy Stiller, Vaughn, Hill, and co. doing what they do best. Full Review »