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75A subtle but unmistakable aura of jolliness sneaks from the screen.
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75It provides the first genuine laughs I've had at the movies in this young year.
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75An offer you shouldn't refuse: It's laugh-out-loud, side-splitting funny.
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75Light on its feet and reveling in its deviousness, it stays one step ahead of us .
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70A funny, frenetic and surprising comedy.
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70This Matt Perry vehicle is funnier than anyone could hope to expect.
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It's not easy to wrench belly laughs out of contract killing, but Nine Yards does just that.
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63A sometimes clever, sometimes clumsy movie.
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60Well-tuned wisecracks and clever plot twists.
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60A crudely funny farce that covers no new ground but sees its talented players running some surefire plays.
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50Wacky and heartless, bloody and silly -- and it ends in a flourish of grotesque sentimentality.
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50Runs out of good ideas long before it's over, falling below "Prizzi's Honor" and "The Freshman" in the dubious genre of contract-killer comedies.
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50Sporadically amusing.
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50For quite of few of The Whole Nine Yards, it appears that the most clever thing in the movie is going to be the opening credits, monstrous close-ups of the morning toothbrushing routine.
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50A comedy without much zing but with an occasional zing-er that enables the film to pick up . . . well, if not nine yards, maybe an inch or two on the gridiron.
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50A pedestrian movie with a predictable romance at its heart.
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50The film falls short; only Peet goes the whole nine yards.
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50A dark comedy that squanders its potential and never quite, as they say, suspends disbelief.
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50A peppy affair that works in fits and starts but is unable to put its successful moments together in any consistently satisfying way.
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50Underwhelming, amusing only in fits and starts.
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50A second-rate but bearable black comedy.
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50You're entitled to ask for more than that in a comedy, but these days you're often obliged to settle for a lot less.
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49It's so plot heavy it never finds its nimble comic rhythm.
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45It's a sad day when good ideas turn into bad movies.
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40Goofy and surprisingly slow-moving.
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40The script seems flimsy and disposable when compared with such similar takes on the subject as "Analyze This,""The Sopranos" and the upcoming "Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai."
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40Bruce Willis's marvelous performance as a contract killer only makes everything else about this comedy seem more pathetic.
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38(Perry and Willis) are blown off the screen by Amanda Peet and Natasha Henstridge.
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30Stupid, empty and -- worst of all -- fantastically boring.
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25A convoluted ''dweeb meets the Mob'' farce in which everyone is trying to kill everyone else, but it's the movie that's the real corpse -- albeit a busy, twitching one.
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20No matter your standard of measurement, this production falls short.
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16A witless, listless muck-up that sends you reeling from the theater with thoughts of suicide instead of a chipper grin.