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50Things spin swiftly out of control with uneven acting and misfired physical gags.
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50A big, empty picture full of star turns, artificial energy and jokes that don't quite work, even if stars Willis and Perry do their best to slam them across.
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50Destined to be on DVD by the time 2004 reaches the 50-yard line, Ten is more stale than it is ungodly.
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The obvious problem with The Whole Ten Yards is that it begins with the wrong kidnapping. Instead of taking Oz's wife, the criminals should have grabbed the authors of the original movie.
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50It's every bit as nonsensical and overitalicized a mess as ''The Whole Nine Yards.''
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This is one of those movies that also hand reviewers a ton of their own quotes as ammunition. Perry, just summing it all up: "I've never been this confused in my entire life!"
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An anemic attempt at Coen-style bodies-and-bowling deadpan, The Whole Nine Yards compensated for its comic shortcomings with a casual, uncharacteristically likable performance by Bruce Willis.
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40Peet is still adorable, and a couple of twists enliven the plot, but the jokes are lame, the timing is off, the physical pratfalls are too broad, and there's still no chemistry between Perry and Henstridge.
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40The strain needed to extend The Whole Ten Yards a yard -- and to feature length -- is so painfully evident it breaks new pic's comedy spirit, making it a particularly dubious member of the Sequel Hall of Shame.
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38Where the first pic breezed along with gags and gunplay, this forced follow-up is artificial to the hilt - fueled on a kind of trying-too-hard hilarity that makes even good actors look bad.
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30The least necessary sequel since "Agent Cody Banks" embarked on a London mission a few weeks ago.
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30At least it isn't a remake -- though given how slovenly and forced this movie is, maybe that wouldn't have been such a bad idea.
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Will go anywhere for a gag, including into the realms of homophobic, gastrointestinal and erectile dysfunction humor.
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25A fog of gloom lowers over The Whole Ten Yards, as actors who know they're in a turkey try their best to prevail.
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25Strenuously unfunny sequel.
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25The funny thing about this unfunny movie is that the cast is brimming with actors who are usually quite engaging. The Whole Ten Yards must be very potent chloroform, indeed, to make Willis, Perry, Peet and Pollak such zombies.
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25Lacks the clever twists and turns that made the original such fun. The sequel has exactly one twist, and it's not very clever.
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25Not as desperate, unfunny, and nonsensical as its title. It's worse. Worse than you can imagine. Unless, of course, you've imagined 90-something minutes of bloopers and outtakes that congeal into a story -- much the way a scab is formed.
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25The gags are flat, and the plot twists aren’t enough to keep the film moving.
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25An excruciating rehash that has virtually none of the wit and charm of the original.
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20What really sinks the film, though, is the utter absence of chemistry between Perry and Willis.
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20The characters all feel like concoctions, like synthetic movie people forged in a crucible of Red Bull during late-night meetings at the studio compound.
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20Miserably unfunny, wholly unnecessary affair.
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Disastrously unfunny sequel.
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20Every joke is stretched to the breaking point, and no one seems to be having any fun.
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12Bereft of inspiration, the agonizingly witless screenplay - blamed by the credits on George Gallo - resorts to pathetic cheap jokes about flatulence and impotence, lame slapstick and that juvenile gag about the horror of two men waking up naked in the same bed.
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10Leaden, laugh-free, lacking anything resembling a heart, mind or soul.
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User score distribution:
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Positive: 2 out of 21
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Mixed: 3 out of 21
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Negative: 16 out of 21