Overwhelming dislike - based on 17 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 1 out of 17
  2. Negative: 13 out of 17
  1. A smart, stylish horror picture that offers a fresh twist on the ever-reliable revenge theme and affords a raft of talented young actors solid roles that show them to advantage.
  2. 60
    OK, so Valentine is, like, this new serial-killer movie that totally blows. But kind of in a good way. Like, it's funny.
  3. Valentine isn't scary, but it is unsettling; not ultimately satisfying, but arresting in the moment.
  4. A nose-bleeding mass murderer wears a mask that suggests Roger Ebert is knocking off a group of lifelong female friends.
  5. The slasher-movie genre may never die, but can't its perpetrators think up variations more clever than this by-the-numbers rehash?
  6. 25
    The dreary, direct-to-video quality of the script, acting and cinematography in this latest entry seemed to inspire more yawns than screams, and not a few titters.
  7. Reviewed by: Jay Carr
    A flagrantly retro example of a tired genre that would vanish in a puff of smoke if anger management classes were to enter the picture, or if it would ever occur to any one of its endless stream of victims to reach for a light switch before proceeding into a spooky place.
  8. Doesn't contain a single scary or imaginative moment.
  9. 20
    Director Jamie Blanks "Urban Legend" appears to be carving himself a career making slasher movies for a new generation; unfortunately, he's in no way improving on the originals.
  10. Reviewed by: Dennis Harvey
    Looking good but lacking much in the way of personality or gray matter -- rather like its characters -- Valentine is a straightforward slasher pic that's acceptably scary until a weak finale.
  11. 10
    Highly reductive and deathly dull slasher flick.
  12. Reviewed by: Gemma Files
    Valentine simply mines the same tired, predictable slasher-movie vein as everything else he's (Blanks) done thus far. Send this one back unopened.
  13. 10
    It feels like both a joke and a turkey.
  14. Reviewed by: Cody Clark
    Because so little of what occurs on-screen either engages or entertains, there's ample time for the boiler of your self-respect to build up quite a head of indignation at the forfeiture of your time, money, and (exceedingly minimal) cerebral exertion.
  15. Lacking the requisite post-"Scream" irony, the film is simply a package of gougings, stabbings, drillings and guttings, all tied up with a "twist" ending that anyone with a still-functioning brain could figure out in a matter of minutes.
  16. 0
    Valentine succeeds only in boring you to death.
User Score

Generally favorable reviews- based on 32 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 3 out of 6
  2. Negative: 2 out of 6
  1. chuckyo
    Aug 30, 2006
    There isn't anything original about the movie, but it's still fun. Also, Denise Richards looks incredible in this film, and her scenes are great. Full Review »