User Score
8.7

Universal acclaim- based on 78 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 65 out of 78
  2. Negative: 7 out of 78
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  1. B.J.
    Aug 1, 2002
    3
    This is how I see things: You watch a comedy to make you laugh, porn to get you sexually aroused and a horror to scare you. With this in mind I'd have to say "Valentine" does its job as well as a porn starring Madeline Albright would. In other words, I find the story shallow and action/murder scenes boring and unimaginative. However, some people probably like it. The "twist" at the This is how I see things: You watch a comedy to make you laugh, porn to get you sexually aroused and a horror to scare you. With this in mind I'd have to say "Valentine" does its job as well as a porn starring Madeline Albright would. In other words, I find the story shallow and action/murder scenes boring and unimaginative. However, some people probably like it. The "twist" at the end has a contra effect making the movie even more stupid instead of better. I gave it 3 only because there are still worse movies than this one. Perhas the novel is better... Expand
  2. LifestylesOfTheRichAndMulroneycakes
    Jul 14, 2003
    1
    David Boreanaz gives good brood. He can be as introspective and miserable as all-get-out. Also capable of being very frightening. Can't do anything else very well, though: brood and scare, scare and brood. He doesn't have much opportunity, alas, to do either in this. So that's a waste of time. In fact, the whole thing is a waste of time. And effort. And energy. And cake.
  3. NedD.
    Sep 14, 2001
    4
    Not the worst of its kind by a long shot. However, it's too bland, predictable and silly to ever be anything more than it is: A gory time-waster that will evaporate from memory mere seconds after the credits roll.
Metascore
18

Overwhelming dislike - based on 17 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 1 out of 17
  2. Negative: 13 out of 17
  1. Reviewed by: Cody Clark
    4
    Because so little of what occurs on-screen either engages or entertains, there's ample time for the boiler of your self-respect to build up quite a head of indignation at the forfeiture of your time, money, and (exceedingly minimal) cerebral exertion.
  2. The slasher-movie genre may never die, but can't its perpetrators think up variations more clever than this by-the-numbers rehash?
  3. 10
    Highly reductive and deathly dull slasher flick.