The latest parody from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck, takes aim at an obvious target that anyone could get some laughs out of. As a result, it manages to be better than the previous efforts by the movie-making team to date. However, that certainly doesn't mean that it is good by any stretch. Friedberg and Seltzer still fail to understand how to make the comedy work and instead populate their spoof with dated pop culture references, cheap toilet humor, obvious jokes and a few examples of horribly bad miscasting. There are many potential jokes to be had with source material like this to riff on but the script instead harps on the same things again and again which results in an irritatingly one-note spoof that fails far off the mark. This may not be Meet the Spartans level of bad, but as you might have guessed it's certainly not worth your time.… Expand

I really don't have much to say at this point. The only reason I'm reviewing this movie is simply because I vowed to review every movie I watch (present - future) giving an unbiased critique. There are no laughs to be found in the course of this flick. Please don't watch it.

Contrary to the popular opinion, it is difficult to parody the "Twilight" movies because the original saga itself is hilariously and unintentionally funny and for adult audience it plays almost like a vampire "Spinal Tap". That being said, this spoof is utterly horrible, the only exception being Jenn Proske's masterful imitation of Kristen Stewart's angsty obnoxiousness.

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I never was a fan of Friedberg and Seltzer,they have made some of the most horrible movies of all time.Their latest movie Vampire Sucks has Twillight as source material and frankly it misses on almost all occassions considering all the material they had to come up with decent jokes.So this movie fails miserably but there are some laughs to be had.… Expand

A Twilight spoof is a good idea, but if the names Seltzer and Friedberg appear in the credits you know it isn't going to have anything redeemable. Not even the actors from the Disney Channel including David Deluise (son of the late Dom Deluise) can save this piece of garbage.

Vampires don't suck. This movie sucks. Saw it, hated it, Ate it, and then violently puked it out. I am a fan of twilight, but, I WAS expecting this to be a hilarious, wonderful movie that made me laugh until I cried. NEWFLASH; Worst movie I ever saw in history of movies. I have bad taste in acting, and even THAT doesn't make me wanna laugh. The only things that were funny were shown in the trailer. I wasted like; a Few bucks for THIS dumb movie? Do the world a favor, and throw it out your window.… Expand

I was surprised by the funny moments (about 4 scenes) in the movie because the movie was made from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the Creators of Epic Movie and Disaster Movie. Jenn Proske's hilarious precision as Bella (or Becca in this movie) is a plus for this movie and I think it had a funny ending. It was better than Twilight too.

Tentu saja. Dengan keberhasilan tiga film pertama dari franchise The Twilight Saga dalam meraup keuntungan hampir sebesar US$400 juta dari peredaran domestiknya di wilayah Amerika Utara, ditambah dengan banyaknya jumlah penggemar fanatik yang berbanding lurus dengan jumlah kritikus film dunia yang membencinya, perilisan sebuah film yang memparodikan franchise tersebut sepertinya adalah hal yang sangat wajar. Dan berbicara soal parodi, tentu saja tidak ada orang lain di Hollywood yang se-â… Expand

This is the result of some bad directing, bad actors, bad lines, bad story, bad jokes, bad graphics, all combined together. Trying to make a parody for a movie that is stupid in the first place is a bad idea, especially if you have a low budget and no sense of humor, at all.

Yet another Cinematic excretion from the pair that brought us other such NON classics as "Meet the Spartans" and "Disaster Movie." And in a year or so they intend to bring out "Anime Movie" A tremendous waste of time and money, you just have to wonder, why do 20th century fox continue to pay these people?

WORSE PARODY MOVEI I'VE EVER SEEN. Waste of my time and money. The parts that were suppose to b e funny weren't even close to being funny. Just an all around bad movie.

that was totally stupid! you used one part from Alice in Wonderland where Alice gets killed and fells down a rabbit hole. that didn't happened in the Tim Burton version, you dumba**es!

The partnership of Friedberg and Seltzer has, so far, given us nothing but humourless, idiotic jokes that even a child could think of. This movie is better than any of their past movies in the same sense that being stabbed is better than being shot. Vampires Suck took a movie that practically everyone would love to see a parody of and killed the idea. In fact, the best joke within this movie is name of the Edward Cullen parody, Ed Sullen. it may sound sad but that really is as good as it gets.… Expand

This movie is horrible. I going give this movie some points because it did have me dieing laughing on about three screen. But I almost didnt finish watching this movie because it got real bored.

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. When discussing movies with friends, we tend to be on polar opposites of things. They prefer fluff and stuff that big studios throw out of their faces with little thought, that's briefly entertaining and normally only high quality 10% of the time. So, when deciding what movies to go see with them tends to be an argument. How they talked me into watching Vampires Suck is beyond me.
I've Seen Epic Movie, and that was bad. I then reluctantly saw Disaster Movie. As every other critic said, that was exactly what the title said. So, seeing another Friedberg-Seltzer movie was not foreseen in my future. While normally when I'd see movies with friends, even If I knew they'd be awful, I'd stick it out for them. I tried to do so here, but it was near impossible. I couldn't think of many things good at all about the hurricane ravaged town of a movie I sat through.
Nearly all the gags fell flat for me, whether it be the same old "Reference something famous to get a laugh" shtick or new attempts by the duo at simple gags (Like an unfunny cactus gag). I laughed about once during the movie, and that's when the guy in the wheelchair got beaten up (Ironic, as I was the only one laughing and I was the one in the wheelchair).
Even what could have been nice saving graces, Ken Jeong of the Opus called Community and Diedrich Bader (An abused, guilty pleasure favorite comic of mine) did nothing important to save the film. The only thing that saved this steaming pile of awful was progress for the two directors. After being literally mentally assaulted by the stupidity of Disaster Movie trying to be funny, Vampires seemed to be less lazy, as they genuinely seemed to try to entertain the audience.
But then again, maybe I'm not the one this movie is aimed for. My friends enjoyed it, taking it as stupid humor (I prefer my stupid humor smarter, which is a little bit of an oxymoron, from movies like the underrated Hot Rod)...and if you enjoy blatant pop culture references and lame gags...you may have found your movie.… Expand

This may have been one of the worst films I have ever seen. This so-called spoof/parody from the small minds behind such terrible "movies"; Date Movie; Epic Movie; Meet the Spartans; Friedberg and Seltzer should not be allowed pens or cameras. I feel sorry for spoofs like Airplane, Spaceballs and Naked Gun plus many, many more films that while been silly; and they are very silly; have great actors, great scripts that make sence to the audience and are most importantly funny. That is the biggest flaw of Vampires Suck it's stupid and not funny. It's the strange kid at the back of the classroom eating the gum from the bottom of the desk.… Expand

Even worst than Twilight. Most people who hate this movie hates spoofs but I like spoofs but this was really bad. Twilight was even a little better than this. The jokes are unfunny and really corny. I smiled maybe twice but that smile became a frown with all the corny jokes and unfunny moments which is supposed to be funny.

maybe it's just me, but this spoof is so lazy, unfunny and creative in no sense at all and fake, that it's like watching a school play- only with vampires and zombies.

Bottom line- it sucks.

Parodies Movies, that parody themselves. Basically a cheap shot, which ends up worse then the already bad Twilight series. There's no excuse for it. I still feel hurt almost a week after watching the thing. Who keeps giving these people jobs, especially after "Epic Movie"

What was Bella thinking on the night she almost became a woman? "Vampires Suck" goes behind Kristen Stewart's inscrutable stare, as the film copies(a real film pays homage) the scene in which Bella and Edward share the night together, when Bella's counterpart Becca(Jenn Proske) verbally expresses what Stewart can only intimate with her soulful eyes, what Bella the Vampire F****r really wanted to do to the fairest Cullen of them all. In "Eclipse", the bedsprings go untested, as Bella listens to Edward prattle on about chaperoned strolls and iced tea on the porch, in which the vampire's antiquated notions regarding courtship, for my money, is far funnier than any of the comic bits that spoofs the insanely successful "Twilight" films; the "Star Wars" for girls. When Mel Brooks satirized the legendary space opera trilogy back in 1987, some people wondered if "Spaceballs" arrived too late. Relevance is obviously not an issue here. With "Vampires Suck", it's a matter of being too soon, since episodes four and five, so to speak, are both in their various states of gestation. Why couldn't the industry allow Stephanie Meyer's legions of fans the luxury of loving Bella and her fetish for interspecies guys a little while longer without having to desmysitfy the romance for them? Why make them feel stupid? Team Edward and Team Jacob, in the midst of breaking the fourth wall, fighting among themselves at the film's outset to reflect the pandemonium surrounding the fantastical men in Bella's charmed life, should break the wall further by converging on the filmmaker for making such a witless and insulting film. A glittering, pasty-faced vampire and an Indian afflicted with a serious case of werewolf gigantism are no laughing matters for the true believers. And even if you were against the team expansion of 2007(the release year for "Twilight"), when Edward and Jacob joined the filmic league of monsters, these lame ringers are no match as objects of ridicule when compared to the sight of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.… Expand

Vampires Suck isn't funny, they use the same style of acting and jokes they used in their previous movies, and it just isnt't funny anymore. Do yourself a favour and don't watch this. Vampires don't suck, this movie does.

Well of course this movie sucks. It has the word "suck" in the title. I rightfully knew what i was going in to watch. The only that i did not think expect is that the jokes and gags would be so annoying, so frustrating that they would make me walk out 30 minutes out of this pile of crap. Enough Said. To watch my review of this film and Piranha 3D, copy this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtNtKSmMfXE ENJOY!!!!… Collapse

Vampire Suck suck, it was the worst film I have ever seen this year. I had some moments that were little funny, but the majority of this film was awful. The directors were the same guys that brought you "Meet the Spartans" and "Epic Movie" , so you would probably know that it would be bad.

Vampire sucks, sucks. Just like how disaster movies was a disaster. It's jokes are just awful and all it dose was make pop culture references after an other, like why is the cast of jersey shore there, I don't know cause its popular. Sure there will come a joke where you'll smirk but there are few of them. The saddest part about this is that the movie is going to make more than Scott Pilgrim vs. the world.… Expand

Given the right circumstance, with the right people, and the right atmosphere, you might--and I emphasize "might"--just be able to find a moment of humor in this movie. Then again, I could say the same about watching surveilance tapes of grocery trucks unloading. I actually had trouble thinking of a comparison, because there is nothing worse than watching a bad comedy, and Vampires Suck is as bad as it gets.… Expand

Spoof movies are bad. Vampires suck is really bad. Laughingly stupid from beginning to an end those who saw it wish came much , much sooner. I just wish they would stop wasting money and time with this lame entertainment.

This has to be the worst movie i have seen this year.Most scenes did not make any sense. This movie got worse by the min. It did have some funny parts in it, but overall it sucked. The best advice i can give is to wait for it to come on regular television.

There is absolutely no reason to go watch this movie. Even the slightly funny jokes are immediately killed by either explaining them or dragging them out endlessly. If you are the target audience (people who hate Twilight), get a couple of buddies over, have a couple of beers and watch the actual Twilight movie. The jokes you guys produce are guaranteed to be funnier than anything you'll find in this movie.… Expand

I went into this movie expecting the worst and this delivered. There are only about 30 seconds of funny scenes in this movie which you can easily find on the internet. Parodies can be great if done right like the recent Your Highness, however this was done terribly. A terrible movie made even more terrible on purpose.

If Hollywood has fallen this low with parody films, then either get me off this planet or show me an older, superior parody film, like Spaceballs or Naked Gun.

There are a lot of jokes to be made about the twilight series. However, I think now its best to laugh unintentionally at the cheesy lines than the jokes made from this movie. I mean seriously, this Friedberg-Seltzer film (this film really suck) 'expects' us to laugh. The jokes don't come off as funny and the actors aren't necessarily helping even though they're only imitating the characters from twilight. It almost feels as if every joke had a guy whacking the drum. .3/5
*Jenn Proske is the only reason why anyone of you should go. She imitates Bella so perfectly. If you replaced Kristen Stewart with her, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.… Expand

It is just as bad as you would expect. I am beginning to think that these filmmakers are just trolls, aimed at ruining American cinema. The film is not funny, horribly acted, and just plain bad. Stay away.

Look up any negative adjective or offensive word that you might be able to find at the dictionary. None of them comes close to the torture that I have to bear while watching this.