User Score
2.9

Generally unfavorable reviews- based on 142 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 37 out of 142

Review this movie

  1. Your Score
    0 out of 10
    Rate this:
    • 10
    • 9
    • 8
    • 7
    • 6
    • 5
    • 4
    • 3
    • 2
    • 1
    • 0
    • 0
  1. Submit
  2. Check Spelling
  1. Mar 13, 2015
    0
    F**k you writers and directors Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

    F**k you Jenn Proske

    F**k you Matt Lanter

    F**k you Anneliese van der Pol

    F**k you Matthew Warzel

    F**k you Chris Riggi

    F**k you Ken Jeong

    F**k you sound mic guy or girl

    F**k everyone who took part in this god awful mess of a movie

    And a big F**k you to the movie itself.
  2. Nov 15, 2014
    2
    Another parody movie translates into another piece of crap. What exactly is the point of these movies? It was predictably not funny, unoriginal, and stupid. Just embarrassing.
  3. Nov 7, 2014
    1
    We all know these spoofs are terrible but Vampires Suck is one lazy piece of garbage. The movie is so bad, the idiots behind this movie didn't know what to do so they stretched out already ridiculous scenes to make them even more ridiculous. A truly embarrassing film.
  4. Aug 26, 2014
    2
    It's bad enough that we have Twilight. It's worse when they decided to make a parody for a show that a lot of people can't stand. Unfortunately, I watched this show and I regretted it even to this day.
  5. Aug 24, 2014
    7
    After quite recently seeing all the "Twilight" movies that are out so far, the trailer alone lured me to see this film. It focuses on the first two movies, mainly.

    After seeing a whole lot of spoof movies, I was a little dodgy about how good this might be, and was thus positively surprised. As my friend said, this movie actually stuck to the movies it was spoofing, instead of jumping
    After quite recently seeing all the "Twilight" movies that are out so far, the trailer alone lured me to see this film. It focuses on the first two movies, mainly.

    After seeing a whole lot of spoof movies, I was a little dodgy about how good this might be, and was thus positively surprised. As my friend said, this movie actually stuck to the movies it was spoofing, instead of jumping from one movie to the next. That, in my opinion, proves that "Twilight" has a lot to be made fun of. (Sure, there were small appearances from OC and Buffy, but they were really small.)

    The beginning of the film is brilliant. There were places that had the entire movie theater roaring with laughter. But what happened to "save the best for the last?" -rule? The end of this movie is a bit... disappointing. Maybe they ran out of jokes after all. Either way, this is one of the best parodies I've seen. Also, Jenn Proske copies Bella's empty, clueless expression so perfectly that it's actually scary!

    A cheap thrill, but not a total waste of time! For the few painfully funny moments, I could watch this again a few times - rather than the movies it's making fun of.
    Expand
  6. Aug 4, 2014
    2
    Vampire's Suck is hardly funny, fun or entertaining. But instead of poking fun at the Twilight saga, it turns out to be a plain, painful and atrocious experience.
  7. May 4, 2014
    1
    Unlike their past films, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are actually attempting satire in this one. They respond to the vampire saga of Twilight and declare their allegiance to the hate camp by naming this movie "Vampires Suck". From what we learned, they're actually right on this one. How exactly did they prove their point? By making a poorly-structured film, where vampires are theUnlike their past films, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are actually attempting satire in this one. They respond to the vampire saga of Twilight and declare their allegiance to the hate camp by naming this movie "Vampires Suck". From what we learned, they're actually right on this one. How exactly did they prove their point? By making a poorly-structured film, where vampires are the main subject. Expand
  8. Feb 20, 2014
    3
    Vampires Suck is one of the few movies to join Grown Ups 2 on my prestigious list of Movies Which I Have Purposely Not Finished. I didn't even make it halfway into this travesty which does not even deserve to be called a film. However despite it being an undeniably bad film Vampires Suck is not as pain inflictingly bad as Friedberg and Seltzers previous spoofs such as Epic Movie, DateVampires Suck is one of the few movies to join Grown Ups 2 on my prestigious list of Movies Which I Have Purposely Not Finished. I didn't even make it halfway into this travesty which does not even deserve to be called a film. However despite it being an undeniably bad film Vampires Suck is not as pain inflictingly bad as Friedberg and Seltzers previous spoofs such as Epic Movie, Date Movie and arguably the worst movie of all time Disaster Movie. Anybody who enjoys this has an even lower IQ than the people who wrote it. Every second is juvenile and all of the jokes could have been thought up by me at the age of 8. Do not bother with this insult to the human race. Expand
  9. Sep 13, 2013
    7
    This movie is absolutely HORRIBLE. But it's one of those movies that is so horrendously bad in every way that it's good. While I can't recommend this movie to everyone, it is worth watching for it's horrible quality
  10. Aug 28, 2013
    7
    Twilight movies, who are the worst movies in existence and the first example of what a movie and a story should not be made, have an average vote of 50 onward.
    This movie, who tries to make fun of the twilight movies and, even though many jokes fail flat and aren't funny, strangely makes more sense than the real movies, has a 18.
    In short, this movie is supposed to be worse than a
    Twilight movies, who are the worst movies in existence and the first example of what a movie and a story should not be made, have an average vote of 50 onward.
    This movie, who tries to make fun of the twilight movies and, even though many jokes fail flat and aren't funny, strangely makes more sense than the real movies, has a 18.
    In short, this movie is supposed to be worse than a twilight movie itself.

    I lost faith in humanity....
    Expand
  11. Jul 15, 2013
    2
    Bueno una de esas peliculas que lamento calificar otro desastre hay cosas que no se han aprendido como dejar de hacer estas peliculas cuando les va mal.
  12. Jun 5, 2013
    1
    The only good thing about this movie was Jenn Proske's imitation of Kristin Stewart. Other than that, it's just lame jokes. I guess I can say some jokes have a good basis but that's it (ex: Jacob turns into a Chihuahua). But I don't recommend anyone watching this.
  13. Apr 29, 2013
    6
    While this certainly isn't a good film I was entertained and thats the power that these spoof films have. It's up there as one of the worst spoof films but now that I've seen it twice it wasn't as bad as I first remembered. There are so many obvious jokes to make about Twilight so they had a good pool of gags to do and I think they did a respectable job. It won't be winning any awardsWhile this certainly isn't a good film I was entertained and thats the power that these spoof films have. It's up there as one of the worst spoof films but now that I've seen it twice it wasn't as bad as I first remembered. There are so many obvious jokes to make about Twilight so they had a good pool of gags to do and I think they did a respectable job. It won't be winning any awards anytime soon nor will the actors, but it will entertain those in need of a good chuckle. Expand
  14. Mar 24, 2013
    10
    I could not stop laughing after seeing this movie. It was absolutely PERFECT for people like me who couldn't stand the Twilight franchise and it was a movie that needed to be made. After all, it's a spoof film, so it's supposed to be terrible.
  15. Jan 29, 2013
    6
    Are people literally taking this movie so seriously? Have they ever heard of a parody or a spoof? Infact, have they ever seen one, like "Scary Movie"? This movie is supposed to be stupid, you just have to turn off your brains to watch this. I think this movie was pretty funny and parts of the jokes are true like this 'Team Edward vs Team Jacob' civil war, Tiger Woods multiple affair, ChrisAre people literally taking this movie so seriously? Have they ever heard of a parody or a spoof? Infact, have they ever seen one, like "Scary Movie"? This movie is supposed to be stupid, you just have to turn off your brains to watch this. I think this movie was pretty funny and parts of the jokes are true like this 'Team Edward vs Team Jacob' civil war, Tiger Woods multiple affair, Chris Brown's relationship abuse, and pretty much a lot of true stories. Especially making fun of a franchise that I hate with a passion. Whoever was the actress who played a spoof of Bella deserves an Oscar. She did a great impersonation of Kristen Stewart's acting in the movies, also...she pretty cute. The people who are taking it seriously need to look up a spoof. Expand
  16. Jul 3, 2012
    0
    There are a lot of jokes to be made about the twilight series. However, I think now its best to laugh unintentionally at the cheesy lines than the jokes made from this movie. I mean seriously, this Friedberg-Seltzer film (this film really suck) 'expects' us to laugh. The jokes don't come off as funny and the actors aren't necessarily helping even though they're only imitating theThere are a lot of jokes to be made about the twilight series. However, I think now its best to laugh unintentionally at the cheesy lines than the jokes made from this movie. I mean seriously, this Friedberg-Seltzer film (this film really suck) 'expects' us to laugh. The jokes don't come off as funny and the actors aren't necessarily helping even though they're only imitating the characters from twilight. It almost feels as if every joke had a guy whacking the drum. .3/5
    *Jenn Proske is the only reason why anyone of you should go. She imitates Bella so perfectly. If you replaced Kristen Stewart with her, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
    Expand
  17. Feb 23, 2012
    8
    Was not as bad as people made it out to be. Its a parody movie. When compared to other parody movies out there, Its easily one of the better ones. Its funny and at least worth checking out if you wanna see some Twilight-bashing.
  18. Jan 7, 2012
    0
    Perhaps the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. Worse than Twilight, worse the New Moon, and definitely worse than Eclipse. How on Earth that movie ever made it to the big screen, I'll never know.
  19. Nov 9, 2011
    6
    I actually found VAMPIRES SUCK better than Twilight! It's better acted, it had it's funny moments (only a couple though) and it's better than the previous parody films (Epic Movie, Disaster Movie etc.)
  20. Oct 9, 2011
    0
    Look up any negative adjective or offensive word that you might be able to find at the dictionary. None of them comes close to the torture that I have to bear while watching this.
  21. Jun 18, 2011
    1
    It is just as bad as you would expect. I am beginning to think that these filmmakers are just trolls, aimed at ruining American cinema. The film is not funny, horribly acted, and just plain bad. Stay away.
  22. May 5, 2011
    2
    If Hollywood has fallen this low with parody films, then either get me off this planet or show me an older, superior parody film, like Spaceballs or Naked Gun.
  23. May 4, 2011
    10
    I was hoping for something along the lines of scary movie, but i was sorely disappointed. The essential elements of a great comedy is missing, and the performances are dull and extremely repetitive. Indeed this flick sucks nothing but a**...
  24. Mar 6, 2011
    2
    Even worst than Twilight. Most people who hate this movie hates spoofs but I like spoofs but this was really bad. Twilight was even a little better than this. The jokes are unfunny and really corny. I smiled maybe twice but that smile became a frown with all the corny jokes and unfunny moments which is supposed to be funny.
  25. Jan 31, 2011
    2
    maybe it's just me, but this spoof is so lazy, unfunny and creative in no sense at all and fake, that it's like watching a school play- only with vampires and zombies.
  26. Jan 17, 2011
    0
    A Twilight spoof is a good idea, but if the names Seltzer and Friedberg appear in the credits you know it isn't going to have anything redeemable. Not even the actors from the Disney Channel including David Deluise (son of the late Dom Deluise) can save this piece of garbage.
  27. Jan 15, 2011
    9
    The movie is supposed to be stupid. It's a "SPOOF" movie of Twilight. Not a bad movie like the score says. It's a funny movie however some parts are boring and tasteless.
  28. Jan 14, 2011
    0
    Vampires don't suck. This movie sucks. Saw it, hated it, Ate it, and then violently puked it out. I am a fan of twilight, but, I WAS expecting this to be a hilarious, wonderful movie that made me laugh until I cried. NEWFLASH; Worst movie I ever saw in history of movies. I have bad taste in acting, and even THAT doesn't make me wanna laugh. The only things that were funny were shown in theVampires don't suck. This movie sucks. Saw it, hated it, Ate it, and then violently puked it out. I am a fan of twilight, but, I WAS expecting this to be a hilarious, wonderful movie that made me laugh until I cried. NEWFLASH; Worst movie I ever saw in history of movies. I have bad taste in acting, and even THAT doesn't make me wanna laugh. The only things that were funny were shown in the trailer. I wasted like; a Few bucks for THIS dumb movie? Do the world a favor, and throw it out your window. Expand
Metascore
18

Overwhelming dislike - based on 17 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 0 out of 17
  2. Negative: 13 out of 17
  1. The exception is newcomer Jenn Proske, who spoofs Twilight star Kristen Stewart's flustered, hair-tugging angst with hilarious precision.
  2. Reviewed by: Natalie Southwick
    25
    Non-"Twilight'' fans would be better off surfing YouTube.
  3. "Vampires" doesn't suck, exactly, but the laziness and lack of imagination kinda bites.