User Score
3.4

Generally unfavorable reviews- based on 120 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 37 out of 120
  2. Negative: 79 out of 120

Review this movie

  1. Your Score
    0 out of 10
    Rate this:
    • 10
    • 9
    • 8
    • 7
    • 6
    • 5
    • 4
    • 3
    • 2
    • 1
    • 0
    • 0
  1. Submit
  2. Check Spelling
  1. Aug 19, 2010
    3
    The latest parody from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck, takes aim at an obvious target that anyone could get some laughs out of. As a result, it manages to be better than the previous efforts by the movie-making team to date. However, that certainly doesn't mean that it is good by any stretch. Friedberg and Seltzer still fail to understand how to make the comedy work and instead populate their spoof with dated pop culture references, cheap toilet humor, obvious jokes and a few examples of horribly bad miscasting. There are many potential jokes to be had with source material like this to riff on but the script instead harps on the same things again and again which results in an irritatingly one-note spoof that fails far off the mark. This may not be Meet the Spartans level of bad, but as you might have guessed it's certainly not worth your time. Expand
  2. Aug 28, 2010
    10
    Yes, it's a stupid movie. Yes, it's a bad movie. But's its still so funny!! What're you people expecting? It's a spoof movie!! It's supossed to be stupid!! Plus, it makes fun of Twilight, which for me is an automatic 7. Overall, it's dumb, stupid, and retarded. But it's also hilarious!!
  3. Dec 6, 2010
    1
    I really don't have much to say at this point. The only reason I'm reviewing this movie is simply because I vowed to review every movie I watch (present - future) giving an unbiased critique. There are no laughs to be found in the course of this flick. Please don't watch it.
  4. Aug 20, 2010
    10
    Somehow, maybe it's a stupid movie!!! But I laughed you really don't have to care if it is stupid... At least you laugh HaHaHa! Especially, Bella and Edward with Jaacob made a perfect parody
  5. Sep 24, 2010
    6
    I don't get it. Spoofs are supposed to be stupid. The movie was really funny, but the movie was bad. However, the acting is funny, and is eerily similar to the Twilight Saga. However, it's not one of the best spoofs I've seen. I recommend it for anyone who's ready to laugh, but only go if you know some or most things about the Twilight Saga.
  6. Sep 26, 2010
    3
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I never was a fan of Friedberg and Seltzer,they have made some of the most horrible movies of all time.Their latest movie Vampire Sucks has Twillight as source material and frankly it misses on almost all occassions considering all the material they had to come up with decent jokes.So this movie fails miserably but there are some laughs to be had. Expand
  7. Oct 11, 2010
    10
    It is of my opinion that this film has been gravely misunderstood by the majority of critics and the general public.

    They didn't understand the hidden sardonic wit that satirized the very heart of the corrupt film industry, under the veneer of **** fart jokes.

    They couldn't accept a film that was so daring as to parody the critics themselves, and as we all know too well the critics hold
    the power in the film industry.

    So the critics responded to it in the way we have come to expect of such dogmatic fools. They simply exercised their sheer brutality, and thoughtlessness by rating it so badly.

    Like so many others before it, this film will be shunned by the general public. Delegated to dying video rental stores and late-night re-runs, it will be known for it's true genius by only a select few.

    It is an unfortunate scenario, but not one we are unfamiliar with. So please, if you see this movie give it the respect, consideration and thought that it deserves.
    Expand
  8. Dec 2, 2010
    2
    Contrary to the popular opinion, it is difficult to parody the "Twilight" movies because the original saga itself is hilariously and unintentionally funny and for adult audience it plays almost like a vampire "Spinal Tap". That being said, this spoof is utterly horrible, the only exception being Jenn Proske's masterful imitation of Kristen Stewart's angsty obnoxiousness.
  9. Jan 17, 2011
    0
    A Twilight spoof is a good idea, but if the names Seltzer and Friedberg appear in the credits you know it isn't going to have anything redeemable. Not even the actors from the Disney Channel including David Deluise (son of the late Dom Deluise) can save this piece of garbage.
  10. Jan 14, 2011
    0
    Vampires don't suck. This movie sucks. Saw it, hated it, Ate it, and then violently puked it out. I am a fan of twilight, but, I WAS expecting this to be a hilarious, wonderful movie that made me laugh until I cried. NEWFLASH; Worst movie I ever saw in history of movies. I have bad taste in acting, and even THAT doesn't make me wanna laugh. The only things that were funny were shown in the trailer. I wasted like; a Few bucks for THIS dumb movie? Do the world a favor, and throw it out your window. Expand
  11. Sep 7, 2010
    8
    Do you have your brain turned off for the duration? Do you expect brainless humour not high-clkass cinema?

    No? Then why are you watching this film?

    Does exactly what you expect, and the crowd in the screen I saw it in laughed in three languages (in Tallinn, Estonia, it was shown in English with Estonian and Russian subtitles).

    Of course pro critics will hate it. It's not aimed at them.
  12. Aug 19, 2010
    3
    Tentu saja. Dengan keberhasilan tiga film pertama dari franchise The Twilight Saga dalam meraup keuntungan hampir sebesar US$400 juta dari peredaran domestiknya di wilayah Amerika Utara, ditambah dengan banyaknya jumlah penggemar fanatik yang berbanding lurus dengan jumlah kritikus film dunia yang membencinya, perilisan sebuah film yang memparodikan franchise tersebut sepertinya adalah hal yang sangat wajar. Dan berbicara soal parodi, tentu saja tidak ada orang lain di Hollywood yang se-â Expand
  13. Oct 9, 2010
    1
    This is the result of some bad directing, bad actors, bad lines, bad story, bad jokes, bad graphics, all combined together. Trying to make a parody for a movie that is stupid in the first place is a bad idea, especially if you have a low budget and no sense of humor, at all.
  14. Sep 1, 2010
    10
    Best spoof the boys have done so far. Great production value and they followed The Twilight movies.
    These movies are not for everyone. Can't wait for the next one. What will they spoof next? Avatar?
  15. Sep 19, 2010
    6
    It's so difficult to review such a movie. It's terribly made. It gets pretty gross. Some parts are casted well and some aren't. According to my movie-watching partner, it covers many Twilight events, but doesn't put them in the right order and makes some stuff up. Now for the comedy:
    Some parts were genuinely pretty funny, to be honest. A few things made me laugh and would've been funny
    in any context (that is to say, some jokes didn't even really need Twilight spoofing as a vehicle). I chuckled sometimes and my companion found it hilarious. But when some jokes rely on changing a couple letters in a name, you start to wonder how clever it really is. I'd honestly have to give this movie a 6, since it was sometimes funny, but was badly made and disgusting sometimes. Expand
  16. Oct 17, 2010
    0
    Yet another Cinematic excretion from the pair that brought us other such NON classics as "Meet the Spartans" and "Disaster Movie." And in a year or so they intend to bring out "Anime Movie" A tremendous waste of time and money, you just have to wonder, why do 20th century fox continue to pay these people?
  17. Oct 7, 2010
    0
    WORSE PARODY MOVEI I'VE EVER SEEN. Waste of my time and money. The parts that were suppose to b e funny weren't even close to being funny. Just an all around bad movie.
  18. Nov 4, 2010
    1
    that was totally stupid! you used one part from Alice in Wonderland where Alice gets killed and fells down a rabbit hole. that didn't happened in the Tim Burton version, you dumba**es!
  19. Oct 18, 2010
    3
    The partnership of Friedberg and Seltzer has, so far, given us nothing but humourless, idiotic jokes that even a child could think of. This movie is better than any of their past movies in the same sense that being stabbed is better than being shot. Vampires Suck took a movie that practically everyone would love to see a parody of and killed the idea. In fact, the best joke within this movie is name of the Edward Cullen parody, Ed Sullen. it may sound sad but that really is as good as it gets. Expand
  20. Nov 30, 2010
    2
    This movie is horrible. I going give this movie some points because it did have me dieing laughing on about three screen. But I almost didnt finish watching this movie because it got real bored.
  21. Dec 15, 2010
    1
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. When discussing movies with friends, we tend to be on polar opposites of things. They prefer fluff and stuff that big studios throw out of their faces with little thought, that's briefly entertaining and normally only high quality 10% of the time. So, when deciding what movies to go see with them tends to be an argument. How they talked me into watching Vampires Suck is beyond me.
    I've Seen Epic Movie, and that was bad. I then reluctantly saw Disaster Movie. As every other critic said, that was exactly what the title said. So, seeing another Friedberg-Seltzer movie was not foreseen in my future. While normally when I'd see movies with friends, even If I knew they'd be awful, I'd stick it out for them. I tried to do so here, but it was near impossible. I couldn't think of many things good at all about the hurricane ravaged town of a movie I sat through.
    Nearly all the gags fell flat for me, whether it be the same old "Reference something famous to get a laugh" shtick or new attempts by the duo at simple gags (Like an unfunny cactus gag). I laughed about once during the movie, and that's when the guy in the wheelchair got beaten up (Ironic, as I was the only one laughing and I was the one in the wheelchair).
    Even what could have been nice saving graces, Ken Jeong of the Opus called Community and Diedrich Bader (An abused, guilty pleasure favorite comic of mine) did nothing important to save the film. The only thing that saved this steaming pile of awful was progress for the two directors. After being literally mentally assaulted by the stupidity of Disaster Movie trying to be funny, Vampires seemed to be less lazy, as they genuinely seemed to try to entertain the audience.
    But then again, maybe I'm not the one this movie is aimed for. My friends enjoyed it, taking it as stupid humor (I prefer my stupid humor smarter, which is a little bit of an oxymoron, from movies like the underrated Hot Rod)...and if you enjoy blatant pop culture references and lame gags...you may have found your movie.
    Expand
  22. Dec 11, 2010
    1
    This may have been one of the worst films I have ever seen. This so-called spoof/parody from the small minds behind such terrible "movies"; Date Movie; Epic Movie; Meet the Spartans; Friedberg and Seltzer should not be allowed pens or cameras. I feel sorry for spoofs like Airplane, Spaceballs and Naked Gun plus many, many more films that while been silly; and they are very silly; have great actors, great scripts that make sence to the audience and are most importantly funny. That is the biggest flaw of Vampires Suck it's stupid and not funny. It's the strange kid at the back of the classroom eating the gum from the bottom of the desk. Expand
  23. Dec 31, 2010
    10
    This was the Best Movie Ever! it was hilarious! all of you who says the movie sucks, you suck! you all love Robert Patterson! I mean, i don't get it. i heard almost all of the people laughing like hell in the movie theatre. my friend and her sister was one of them. I was one of them! and we both admitted it was totally awesome.
  24. Mar 6, 2011
    2
    Even worst than Twilight. Most people who hate this movie hates spoofs but I like spoofs but this was really bad. Twilight was even a little better than this. The jokes are unfunny and really corny. I smiled maybe twice but that smile became a frown with all the corny jokes and unfunny moments which is supposed to be funny.
  25. Jan 31, 2011
    2
    maybe it's just me, but this spoof is so lazy, unfunny and creative in no sense at all and fake, that it's like watching a school play- only with vampires and zombies.
  26. Aug 28, 2010
    1
    Parodies Movies, that parody themselves. Basically a cheap shot, which ends up worse then the already bad Twilight series. There's no excuse for it. I still feel hurt almost a week after watching the thing. Who keeps giving these people jobs, especially after "Epic Movie"
  27. Aug 20, 2010
    0
    What was Bella thinking on the night she almost became a woman? "Vampires Suck" goes behind Kristen Stewart's inscrutable stare, as the film copies(a real film pays homage) the scene in which Bella and Edward share the night together, when Bella's counterpart Becca(Jenn Proske) verbally expresses what Stewart can only intimate with her soulful eyes, what Bella the Vampire F****r really wanted to do to the fairest Cullen of them all. In "Eclipse", the bedsprings go untested, as Bella listens to Edward prattle on about chaperoned strolls and iced tea on the porch, in which the vampire's antiquated notions regarding courtship, for my money, is far funnier than any of the comic bits that spoofs the insanely successful "Twilight" films; the "Star Wars" for girls. When Mel Brooks satirized the legendary space opera trilogy back in 1987, some people wondered if "Spaceballs" arrived too late. Relevance is obviously not an issue here. With "Vampires Suck", it's a matter of being too soon, since episodes four and five, so to speak, are both in their various states of gestation. Why couldn't the industry allow Stephanie Meyer's legions of fans the luxury of loving Bella and her fetish for interspecies guys a little while longer without having to desmysitfy the romance for them? Why make them feel stupid? Team Edward and Team Jacob, in the midst of breaking the fourth wall, fighting among themselves at the film's outset to reflect the pandemonium surrounding the fantastical men in Bella's charmed life, should break the wall further by converging on the filmmaker for making such a witless and insulting film. A glittering, pasty-faced vampire and an Indian afflicted with a serious case of werewolf gigantism are no laughing matters for the true believers. And even if you were against the team expansion of 2007(the release year for "Twilight"), when Edward and Jacob joined the filmic league of monsters, these lame ringers are no match as objects of ridicule when compared to the sight of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Expand
  28. Aug 31, 2010
    0
    Vampires Suck isn't funny, they use the same style of acting and jokes they used in their previous movies, and it just isnt't funny anymore. Do yourself a favour and don't watch this. Vampires don't suck, this movie does.
  29. Aug 23, 2010
    0
    Well of course this movie sucks. It has the word "suck" in the title. I rightfully knew what i was going in to watch. The only that i did not think expect is that the jokes and gags would be so annoying, so frustrating that they would make me walk out 30 minutes out of this pile of crap. Enough Said. To watch my review of this film and Piranha 3D, copy this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtNtKSmMfXE ENJOY!!!! Expand
  30. Aug 21, 2010
    0
    Vampire Suck suck, it was the worst film I have ever seen this year. I had some moments that were little funny, but the majority of this film was awful. The directors were the same guys that brought you "Meet the Spartans" and "Epic Movie" , so you would probably know that it would be bad.
  31. Jun 5, 2013
    1
    The only good thing about this movie was Jenn Proske's imitation of Kristin Stewart. Other than that, it's just lame jokes. I guess I can say some jokes have a good basis but that's it (ex: Jacob turns into a Chihuahua). But I don't recommend anyone watching this.
  32. Aug 25, 2010
    1
    Vampire sucks, sucks. Just like how disaster movies was a disaster. It's jokes are just awful and all it dose was make pop culture references after an other, like why is the cast of jersey shore there, I don't know cause its popular. Sure there will come a joke where you'll smirk but there are few of them. The saddest part about this is that the movie is going to make more than Scott Pilgrim vs. the world. Expand
  33. Aug 29, 2010
    0
    Given the right circumstance, with the right people, and the right atmosphere, you might--and I emphasize "might"--just be able to find a moment of humor in this movie. Then again, I could say the same about watching surveilance tapes of grocery trucks unloading. I actually had trouble thinking of a comparison, because there is nothing worse than watching a bad comedy, and Vampires Suck is as bad as it gets. Expand
  34. Aug 29, 2010
    0
    Spoof movies are bad. Vampires suck is really bad. Laughingly stupid from beginning to an end those who saw it wish came much , much sooner. I just wish they would stop wasting money and time with this lame entertainment.
  35. Aug 31, 2010
    3
    This has to be the worst movie i have seen this year.Most scenes did not make any sense. This movie got worse by the min. It did have some funny parts in it, but overall it sucked. The best advice i can give is to wait for it to come on regular television.
  36. Sep 9, 2010
    1
    There is absolutely no reason to go watch this movie. Even the slightly funny jokes are immediately killed by either explaining them or dragging them out endlessly. If you are the target audience (people who hate Twilight), get a couple of buddies over, have a couple of beers and watch the actual Twilight movie. The jokes you guys produce are guaranteed to be funnier than anything you'll find in this movie. Expand
  37. Oct 9, 2010
    6
    "Vampires Suck is one of the better editions to the spoof franchise , that is hanging by a thread , and they need to stop making these films , but Vampires Suck was remotely funny , it should be everything you'd expect Dumb , Stupid and Widley Medoicre" .. C+
  38. Oct 16, 2010
    8
    It may be a spoof of one of the most popular teen franchises of the current decade, but they do say something's got to be fantastic for it to be spoofed and this is no exception. Vampires Suck succeeds in mocking even the smallest details of the Twilight saga and is a great film whether you love Twilight or not. By itself, it would suck as a movie, but as it is a spoof, it's fantastic and I loved it. Expand
  39. Jan 15, 2011
    9
    The movie is supposed to be stupid. It's a "SPOOF" movie of Twilight. Not a bad movie like the score says. It's a funny movie however some parts are boring and tasteless.
  40. Jan 29, 2013
    6
    Are people literally taking this movie so seriously? Have they ever heard of a parody or a spoof? Infact, have they ever seen one, like "Scary Movie"? This movie is supposed to be stupid, you just have to turn off your brains to watch this. I think this movie was pretty funny and parts of the jokes are true like this 'Team Edward vs Team Jacob' civil war, Tiger Woods multiple affair, Chris Brown's relationship abuse, and pretty much a lot of true stories. Especially making fun of a franchise that I hate with a passion. Whoever was the actress who played a spoof of Bella deserves an Oscar. She did a great impersonation of Kristen Stewart's acting in the movies, also...she pretty cute. The people who are taking it seriously need to look up a spoof. Expand
  41. Aug 28, 2013
    7
    Twilight movies, who are the worst movies in existence and the first example of what a movie and a story should not be made, have an average vote of 50 onward.
    This movie, who tries to make fun of the twilight movies and, even though many jokes fail flat and aren't funny, strangely makes more sense than the real movies, has a 18.
    In short, this movie is supposed to be worse than a
    twilight movie itself.

    I lost faith in humanity....
    Expand
  42. May 5, 2011
    2
    If Hollywood has fallen this low with parody films, then either get me off this planet or show me an older, superior parody film, like Spaceballs or Naked Gun.
  43. May 4, 2011
    10
    I was hoping for something along the lines of scary movie, but i was sorely disappointed. The essential elements of a great comedy is missing, and the performances are dull and extremely repetitive. Indeed this flick sucks nothing but a**...
  44. Jul 3, 2012
    0
    There are a lot of jokes to be made about the twilight series. However, I think now its best to laugh unintentionally at the cheesy lines than the jokes made from this movie. I mean seriously, this Friedberg-Seltzer film (this film really suck) 'expects' us to laugh. The jokes don't come off as funny and the actors aren't necessarily helping even though they're only imitating the characters from twilight. It almost feels as if every joke had a guy whacking the drum. .3/5
    *Jenn Proske is the only reason why anyone of you should go. She imitates Bella so perfectly. If you replaced Kristen Stewart with her, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
    Expand
  45. Jun 18, 2011
    1
    It is just as bad as you would expect. I am beginning to think that these filmmakers are just trolls, aimed at ruining American cinema. The film is not funny, horribly acted, and just plain bad. Stay away.
  46. Oct 9, 2011
    0
    Look up any negative adjective or offensive word that you might be able to find at the dictionary. None of them comes close to the torture that I have to bear while watching this.
  47. Nov 9, 2011
    6
    I actually found VAMPIRES SUCK better than Twilight! It's better acted, it had it's funny moments (only a couple though) and it's better than the previous parody films (Epic Movie, Disaster Movie etc.)
  48. Jan 7, 2012
    0
    Perhaps the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. Worse than Twilight, worse the New Moon, and definitely worse than Eclipse. How on Earth that movie ever made it to the big screen, I'll never know.
  49. Aug 24, 2014
    7
    After quite recently seeing all the "Twilight" movies that are out so far, the trailer alone lured me to see this film. It focuses on the first two movies, mainly.

    After seeing a whole lot of spoof movies, I was a little dodgy about how good this might be, and was thus positively surprised. As my friend said, this movie actually stuck to the movies it was spoofing, instead of jumping
    from one movie to the next. That, in my opinion, proves that "Twilight" has a lot to be made fun of. (Sure, there were small appearances from OC and Buffy, but they were really small.)

    The beginning of the film is brilliant. There were places that had the entire movie theater roaring with laughter. But what happened to "save the best for the last?" -rule? The end of this movie is a bit... disappointing. Maybe they ran out of jokes after all. Either way, this is one of the best parodies I've seen. Also, Jenn Proske copies Bella's empty, clueless expression so perfectly that it's actually scary!

    A cheap thrill, but not a total waste of time! For the few painfully funny moments, I could watch this again a few times - rather than the movies it's making fun of.
    Expand
  50. Feb 23, 2012
    8
    Was not as bad as people made it out to be. Its a parody movie. When compared to other parody movies out there, Its easily one of the better ones. Its funny and at least worth checking out if you wanna see some Twilight-bashing.
  51. Sep 13, 2013
    7
    This movie is absolutely HORRIBLE. But it's one of those movies that is so horrendously bad in every way that it's good. While I can't recommend this movie to everyone, it is worth watching for it's horrible quality
  52. Apr 29, 2013
    6
    While this certainly isn't a good film I was entertained and thats the power that these spoof films have. It's up there as one of the worst spoof films but now that I've seen it twice it wasn't as bad as I first remembered. There are so many obvious jokes to make about Twilight so they had a good pool of gags to do and I think they did a respectable job. It won't be winning any awards anytime soon nor will the actors, but it will entertain those in need of a good chuckle. Expand
  53. Feb 20, 2014
    3
    Vampires Suck is one of the few movies to join Grown Ups 2 on my prestigious list of Movies Which I Have Purposely Not Finished. I didn't even make it halfway into this travesty which does not even deserve to be called a film. However despite it being an undeniably bad film Vampires Suck is not as pain inflictingly bad as Friedberg and Seltzers previous spoofs such as Epic Movie, Date Movie and arguably the worst movie of all time Disaster Movie. Anybody who enjoys this has an even lower IQ than the people who wrote it. Every second is juvenile and all of the jokes could have been thought up by me at the age of 8. Do not bother with this insult to the human race. Expand
  54. May 2, 2013
    8
    The movie is so funny, has a lot of funny scenes, why critics are so mean, just relax and watch the movie with a different perspective, for me, this movie is a 8.
  55. Mar 24, 2013
    10
    I could not stop laughing after seeing this movie. It was absolutely PERFECT for people like me who couldn't stand the Twilight franchise and it was a movie that needed to be made. After all, it's a spoof film, so it's supposed to be terrible.
  56. Jul 15, 2013
    2
    Bueno una de esas peliculas que lamento calificar otro desastre hay cosas que no se han aprendido como dejar de hacer estas peliculas cuando les va mal.
  57. Aug 26, 2014
    2
    It's bad enough that we have Twilight. It's worse when they decided to make a parody for a show that a lot of people can't stand. Unfortunately, I watched this show and I regretted it even to this day.
  58. May 4, 2014
    1
    Unlike their past films, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are actually attempting satire in this one. They respond to the vampire saga of Twilight and declare their allegiance to the hate camp by naming this movie "Vampires Suck". From what we learned, they're actually right on this one. How exactly did they prove their point? By making a poorly-structured film, where vampires are the main subject. Expand
  59. Aug 4, 2014
    2
    Vampire's Suck is hardly funny, fun or entertaining. But instead of poking fun at the Twilight saga, it turns out to be a plain, painful and atrocious experience.
Metascore
18

Overwhelming dislike - based on 17 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 0 out of 17
  2. Negative: 13 out of 17
  1. The exception is newcomer Jenn Proske, who spoofs Twilight star Kristen Stewart's flustered, hair-tugging angst with hilarious precision.
  2. Reviewed by: Natalie Southwick
    25
    Non-"Twilight'' fans would be better off surfing YouTube.
  3. "Vampires" doesn't suck, exactly, but the laziness and lack of imagination kinda bites.