Van Helsing

User Score
5.6

Mixed or average reviews- based on 286 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Negative: 85 out of 286

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User Reviews

  1. ThomasS.
    Jun 21, 2005
    0
    Easily one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It's caused me physical pain to watch. The special effects were horrible. In the flying vampire women scene, you can see the digital boxes around them whenever they fly! Don't waste your time.
  2. [Anonymous]
    Sep 1, 2005
    3
    To think 160 million dollars went into one of the worst movies i've ever seen. Blade II uses half that amount, and gives you twice the fun, and axes those annoying Transylvanian accents. Dracula's brides were cool when they didn't talk. That crossbow is a good use of Retro-futuristic imagination. But everything else is a total wreck. How could ILM screw up so badly? Those To think 160 million dollars went into one of the worst movies i've ever seen. Blade II uses half that amount, and gives you twice the fun, and axes those annoying Transylvanian accents. Dracula's brides were cool when they didn't talk. That crossbow is a good use of Retro-futuristic imagination. But everything else is a total wreck. How could ILM screw up so badly? Those FX guys worked with Steven Spielburg, for heaven's sakes! Even the musical score fails to deliver. Oliver Stone's disasterous Alexander at least had uplifting, epic music from Vangelis, but this stuff was just garbage. Just watch the mummy movies for hollywood cheese. This blunder doesn't even qualify for those lowly standards. Expand
  3. TommiK.
    Sep 6, 2006
    2
    Noisy, fast paced, boring, lacking any depth. Very nice effects and lots and lots of actions. Also sometimes stylish design and lots of effort. If only it had plot and charisma.
  4. TomM.
    Nov 14, 2004
    3
    How can anyone give this movie a 10? Seriously folks, I understand that everyone has different tastes in movies but a 10? It's not Casablanca. Bottom line is that this movie provides a weak story (which is fine for what this movie tried to be), awful acting (which is never ok), horrible cgi effects, and god awful dialogue. I wish I could rely more on the internet to get a decent idea How can anyone give this movie a 10? Seriously folks, I understand that everyone has different tastes in movies but a 10? It's not Casablanca. Bottom line is that this movie provides a weak story (which is fine for what this movie tried to be), awful acting (which is never ok), horrible cgi effects, and god awful dialogue. I wish I could rely more on the internet to get a decent idea of what to expect in regards to movies. Apparently that is just not going to happen. Honestly, if people really love this movie and want to rate it a 10 then I am not surprised at all with the dung that Hollywood continues to churn out. Expand
  5. CaseyK.
    Mar 30, 2010
    3
    Although great action scenes, Van Helsing is a pathetic attempt to create interesting monster characters but senseless with daft screenplay and terrible directing from Stephen Sommers.
  6. Oct 7, 2011
    2
    To save you valuable hours of your life, here's a summary of the whole movie: Big action scene with monsters, Bad CGI, People talk fast, Big action scene with monsters, Big action scene with monsters, Big action scene with monsters, People talk fast, Big action scene with monsters, Bad CGI, Big action scene with monsters, faux-dramatic scene, Big action scene with monsters, Bad CGI, Bad CGI, Fin.
  7. Oct 17, 2011
    2
    If Bram Stoker resurrected and see what they did with his story, he kill himself! this movie is just, i don´t know, this movie simply have no reason to exist
  8. Dec 12, 2011
    1
    Van Helsing is possibly the closest I have come to giving a film a 0. It is a lifeless corpse of a movie. The acting is dreadful bordering on laughable. The referencing of classic monster movies doesn't only fall flat but it grates. Richard Roxburghs Dracula is over the top in the worst possible way and the scripting is dreadful. If anything its one saving grace is a remarkablyVan Helsing is possibly the closest I have come to giving a film a 0. It is a lifeless corpse of a movie. The acting is dreadful bordering on laughable. The referencing of classic monster movies doesn't only fall flat but it grates. Richard Roxburghs Dracula is over the top in the worst possible way and the scripting is dreadful. If anything its one saving grace is a remarkably entertaining intro to the character of Van Helsing (even if Hugh Jackman is terrible as the title character) with the fight between Jekyl and Hyde being a fun piece of action. Its the films only saving grace and its only 5 minutes. The film lumbers on after that, slowly killing your soul. It's dire and thats before it gets to the end where you get to witness Lion King esque sky visions. Because copying Disney in a monster movie seemed like a good idea at the time. Don't watch it, and if you do, bring a pillow. Expand
  9. Aug 26, 2013
    2
    Had very big expectations, because of the great opening 5-10 minutes, but i was disappointed! It could be so much better! 2/10 is my score for "Van Helsing"
  10. Nov 13, 2013
    2
    Van Helsing made me want to gouge my eyes out.
    This was an extremely painful movie to watch, quite frankly a missed opportunity in ever sense of the word. A horrible script with actors simply reading their lines and waiting to get through it.
  11. KevinF.
    Nov 5, 2004
    1
    If you must.
  12. WesG.
    Oct 27, 2004
    1
    If you enjoyed this movie...what DON't you enjoy? It's just too lame for my tastes...
  13. BubbaFresh
    Nov 6, 2004
    0
    Reminds me of a swan sculpture made of crap. No matter how nice it looks, its still crap, and WTF is up with the oompa loompas with goggles.
  14. RaggetB
    Oct 24, 2004
    3
    Too long. Sucks.
  15. BobB
    Oct 24, 2004
    2
    I fell asleep way too much, boring...
  16. AllanW.
    Oct 21, 2004
    0
    This is the worst movie ever. this movie is a atrocious butchering of all that is good in this world. Burn this movie to erase it from the pages of history, for if a higher power or more intelligent life was to stumble upon this piece of trash, they would surely decide that we are unfit to continue existence. Sommers butchers every legend, tale, or story that has every involve anyone of This is the worst movie ever. this movie is a atrocious butchering of all that is good in this world. Burn this movie to erase it from the pages of history, for if a higher power or more intelligent life was to stumble upon this piece of trash, they would surely decide that we are unfit to continue existence. Sommers butchers every legend, tale, or story that has every involve anyone of these characters in this movie. Trash. Expand
  17. curefreak
    Oct 18, 2004
    1
    This movie made no sense not even for the low standerds set by summetime action- adventure flicks the score was loud and annoying and frankly so was the movie there was no real plot and the special effects werent realistic or compelling in any way whover wrote this has no real compassion towards monster movies since frankenstein is sensitive and misunderstood and vampires can walk around This movie made no sense not even for the low standerds set by summetime action- adventure flicks the score was loud and annoying and frankly so was the movie there was no real plot and the special effects werent realistic or compelling in any way whover wrote this has no real compassion towards monster movies since frankenstein is sensitive and misunderstood and vampires can walk around in the daylight before i saw this it felt like they just threw a bunch of monsters together without any logic thinking poeple would be stupid enough to see it well unforuntely they were right since the audience i saw it with clapped and cheered at the end obviously these kinds of movies dont have to be intelligent or thought provoking but if thats the case shouldnt the action and the effects take up the slack? anyone who enjoyed this movie needs a lobotomy quick! Expand
  18. EfeB.
    Jul 30, 2004
    0
    Van helsing. first of all the name VAN suggests that this fella is of dutch origin. why would a dutch guy go around killing famous horror classics when he has horrific dull landscapes to paint is beyond me. i guess during child upbringing, parents should urge their kids to take art lessons?...is this the idea? as for the so called "horror legends" such as dracula and frankenstein, they Van helsing. first of all the name VAN suggests that this fella is of dutch origin. why would a dutch guy go around killing famous horror classics when he has horrific dull landscapes to paint is beyond me. i guess during child upbringing, parents should urge their kids to take art lessons?...is this the idea? as for the so called "horror legends" such as dracula and frankenstein, they would be terrified to have their names associated with this film, no need for wooden stakes here...they are allready taken care for, avoiding anymore bad scripts. the person who played dracula should be allowed to meet horror film fans at a convention so he can enjoy a meal of fresh vegtables in his face. the actor (too lame to be named here) kind of tries to mimic a romanian accent but he comes across as an angry french waiter. which by the way is very scary if you ever saw one. van helsing fella (too redundant to say his name here) does a good job of keeping the production value as low as possible so the director can keep up with him in order to create a complete crap of a film. this fella was decent in the x-men movies and now we know for a fact that his acting skills are result of amazing on screen luck. either that or the fella who directed the x-men films (some young punk) took like 300 shots for a single scene. whatever the case, this guy aint no buffy. for the ammount of money they spent on this film one would anticipate a marvel, now we are only marveled by how much nothingness a money can buy. Expand
  19. RoscoTrain
    Jun 9, 2004
    0
    Just the worst. I was tempted to flee the movie several times. The beginning was your typical cookie cutter "I made frankenstein" scene. Count Dracula's actor was not at all scary looking. Poor casting. Van Helsing was boring and barely killed anything. He had a weapon that created light as powerful as the sun but never used it until the end ballroom scene. If he had a bag full of Just the worst. I was tempted to flee the movie several times. The beginning was your typical cookie cutter "I made frankenstein" scene. Count Dracula's actor was not at all scary looking. Poor casting. Van Helsing was boring and barely killed anything. He had a weapon that created light as powerful as the sun but never used it until the end ballroom scene. If he had a bag full of these devices he could have destroyed all the vampires from the very start, instead he uses turbo arrows that never hit anything. Vampire babies? What the heck? So like how do they make a "Dead" baby, grow it into a form then put it into a sack and its still dead. Just need electricity to make it alive. Right. Scene after scene makes no logical sense. Stupid stuff happening one after the other. They swing around like tarzan with one hand on the rope, one hand holding a girl across a river 1000 feet high with no injuries. Have you ever tried to hold on to a rope or bar with one hand. Good luck. Nobody had any super powers unless I'm missing something. Just a joke of a movie. Basically this movie SUCKS. Expand
  20. VictorD.
    May 16, 2004
    3
    It sucks!
  21. Dan
    Jun 23, 2004
    0
    Hey vicky... congratulations on seeing your first movie.
  22. TomB.
    May 10, 2004
    1
    I wasn't expecting much when I went in but even my lowest expectaions were shattered by this dull and noisy hunk of crap-o-la. For all of the promotion the movie received it looked as though it were pratically thrown together. Perhaps the worst movie I've seen in a long long time.
  23. NathanF.
    May 12, 2004
    2
    By the time the credits started rolling my forehead was red from slapping it so much in stupefied disbelief. This movie can be summed up with a quote from Futurama where Fry says "Wow, it has a vampire AND an explosion." If you liked this film, lean over here so I can slap you.
  24. IvanaT.
    May 26, 2004
    2
    Everyone here is right. This story DOES have a plot. It's just a crappy one. Ok, so get this. Dracula, who has recently asked Dr. Frankenstein to raise a corpse, tries to use the same method used to revive the Frankenstein monster to bring his thousands of babies back to life. Because he is undead, they are born pre-dead. Thus, he must put life in them. Utter, utter schlock. it was Everyone here is right. This story DOES have a plot. It's just a crappy one. Ok, so get this. Dracula, who has recently asked Dr. Frankenstein to raise a corpse, tries to use the same method used to revive the Frankenstein monster to bring his thousands of babies back to life. Because he is undead, they are born pre-dead. Thus, he must put life in them. Utter, utter schlock. it was probably only made because it gave millions to ILM. Kudos. You have made crappy movie history. Expand
  25. BillE.
    May 6, 2004
    0
    Utterly terrible CGI schlock-fest. And awful CGI at that! There is nothing to recommend in this movie - the acting, plot (lack of), dialogue, music, and - most of all - directing attain new levels of crap. Go only if you feel particularly masochistic.
  26. Bruno
    May 7, 2004
    0
    Id rather die then watch van helsing once more.
  27. MasterChief
    Jun 4, 2004
    2
    The maker of this movie must be flogged in public and then stoned to death!
  28. Kris
    May 8, 2004
    3
    I tried very hard to enjoy this movie - - I really did; I turned off almost all of my brain - - but it just wouldn't click with me. It's a terrible letdown. Perhaps the only enjoyable part for me was the ending, because I was laughing hysterically at it. I wanted badly to scream "Mufasa!" during that sequence. If you were unfortunate enough to pay for this trash, you will know I tried very hard to enjoy this movie - - I really did; I turned off almost all of my brain - - but it just wouldn't click with me. It's a terrible letdown. Perhaps the only enjoyable part for me was the ending, because I was laughing hysterically at it. I wanted badly to scream "Mufasa!" during that sequence. If you were unfortunate enough to pay for this trash, you will know what I mean. Expand
  29. MaxwellS.
    May 8, 2004
    3
    The entire first half of this movie drags along while you continue checking your watch and praying for the end. And while the second half is a bit better, the movie could not be saved. Too bad, I was really looking forward to this one too.
  30. Kelly
    Jun 1, 2004
    3
    A disappointing film with bad dialog, so-so acting, less than impressive effects, and a really cheesy ending. This movie had great potential, but was unable to deliver the goods.
Metascore
35

Generally unfavorable reviews - based on 38 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 7 out of 38
  2. Negative: 16 out of 38
  1. This creature feature is exhilarating fun, a richly designed and often quite funny re-exploration of the movie past.
  2. Reviewed by: Todd McCarthy
    60
    The sense of evil overkill is entirely representative of the picture itself, which repeatedly looks ready to blow all its fuses due to sensory overload.
  3. 20
    Sommers suspends the laws of time and physics and forces his characters to spout some of the cheesiest dialogue imaginable.