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Juliana's Pony: Total System Failure
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Juliana's Pony: Total System Failure Image
Metascore
35

Generally unfavorable reviews - based on 5 Critic Reviews What's this?

User Score
6.7

Generally favorable reviews- based on 12 Ratings

Critic Reviews

Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 0 out of 5
  2. Mixed: 3 out of 5
  3. Negative: 2 out of 5
  1. Wall of Sound
    45
    An unseemly, almost unnecessary foray into heavy metal and hard rock, especially in light of her success on the acoustic side.
  2. AllMusic
    40
    Messy, noisy, directionless, and painfully shy on both tunes and purpose... and winds up sounding a bit like a parody.
  3. Ink Blot Magazine
    40
    The music is occasionally difficult to embrace, to say the least...
  4. Mojo
    30
    Sadly sterile...
  5. Trouser Press
    20
    It’s easily the weakest album in her career and sounds even worse when compared to the subtle path of Beautiful Creature.

User Reviews

Write a Review
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 2 out of 4
  2. Mixed: 0 out of 4
  3. Negative: 2 out of 4
  1. paschk
    Jan 11, 2012
    10
    I think this is one of Juliana's best albums. I'm sure it goes over the heads of those who just want to hear her cute little voice over someI think this is one of Juliana's best albums. I'm sure it goes over the heads of those who just want to hear her cute little voice over some pretty music. She is so much more than that. The ideas in this album (lyrically) are amazing and are what make the album...scary white trash breeders!… Expand
  2. KendallB
    Jan 27, 2009
    9
    Raw and unbashedly noisy...it's Hatfield at her crankiest. "My Protegee" could be one of her best songs to date.
  4. RaoulX
    Jul 15, 2004
    2
    I bought this album because it seemed like an interesting concept, and as a sign of respect for an artist I truly enjoy and admire. It I bought this album because it seemed like an interesting concept, and as a sign of respect for an artist I truly enjoy and admire. It suuuuuucked. Ms. Hatfield ought to give me a free copy of In Exile Deo.… Expand
  5. nathanbo
    Jun 1, 2015
    0
    The last thing I want to do is offend Juliana Hatfield fans, as "My Protegee" is an awesome song; however, everything else in this album isThe last thing I want to do is offend Juliana Hatfield fans, as "My Protegee" is an awesome song; however, everything else in this album is not. It just seems like there is just something missing from the tracks. To be honest I have heard worse, but not that many. This album's badness is quite noticeable as there are many great female rockers out there today. What separates Juliana Hatfield from them is that she does not have a clear direction in making crisp and re-listenable music. It is not to say that all her music is sloppy, but in this album it certainly appeared so. If I were her I would try something to make my sound more unique. All the riffs came across as carbon copies of other pieces of work, that is if the copying process was made through the cheapest means possible. The sound gives an unfinished vibe that is hard to fathom. I think the title says it all: "Total System Failure." That is probably the most honest advertising I have seen in a long time. I actually kinda wish more record companies would spend the time to make the titles perfectly reflect what the consumer is getting into.… Expand

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