Austin Chronicle's Scores

For 5,237 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 38% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 60% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 7.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 54
Highest review score: 100 The Blair Witch Project
Lowest review score: 0 Lucky Numbers
Score distribution:
5,237 movie reviews
  1. The Devil Inside offers proof, if any were needed, that demons run rampant in Hollywood, possessing otherwise intelligent and creative people to make absolutely shitty "gotcha!" mockumonstrosities like this one.
  2. It's so unreal it hurts.
  3. It's cheap and it's lowdown, and to those responsible for this exercise in devolution: Honestly, I'm not sure I want to know someone like you.
  4. Stay Alive has none of the vicarious thrills of, say, "Konami: Silent Hill 2." It's barely even Pong unplugged.
  5. Hey, guys, when you repurpose a disco hit to poke fun at gay men, not only do you look like assholes, you look like assholes who rip their jokes off of YouTube.
  6. This utterly mediocre forget-me-now could've been crafted by any faceless serial director at all. The shame of it is that the man behind the camera is Wes Craven when, by all rights, it should have been Alan Smithee.
  7. What’s most dispiriting about this garbage burger is its nonsensical characterization of Blart himself.
  8. Hopefully, someone will grab the torch and, if not run with it, at the very least track down and set fire to the highly combustible prints of this inexcusably inept yawn-a-thon - it's not so much bad as it is unfathomable.
  9. Surrogates' morality is less Asimov than asinine, although it's bizarrely reassuring, in a nihilistic sort of way, to believe that in the future, when the world is ready to play The Sims for real (so to speak), our avatars are all going to look like generic porn stars with shitty airbrush jobs.
  10. Barely worthy of a legitimate theatrical release.
  11. A dreadfully misguided movie.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Religious dramas have a track record of prioritizing wholesome values at the cost of production values, and while Left Behind is mostly too preoccupied with being a hoary thriller to preach to the converted, it’s a thoroughly laughable attempt to marry bombast with sermonizing.
  12. Mainly offers fodder for tweens who fantasize about glamorous Los Angeles lifestyles where everyone is skinny, rich, and on Prozac. It's a film where gays and minorities not only fit into stereotypes, but embrace them.
  13. Miami Connection is the sort of film that rarely sees the light of day anymore – a really bad, totally inept mess that reeks of more ambition than talent.
  14. The comic equivalent of a lump of coal.
  15. With all the wrong Stealing Harvard has done, it at least bestows one gift upon its audience: the gift of forgettableness.
  16. Come to think of it, it's a lot like the departed shade of a better, longer movie, hovering in tatters before us, vanishing when we blink. When you look into this abyss, it yawns back at you.
  17. Now I realize my confessed appreciation for Kids will thoroughly bugger my credibility in describing Gummo with phrases like “appalling,” “gratuitously cruel,” and “exploitative,” but the unmitigated repulsiveness of this film pretty much rules out all subtler options.
  18. There's no getting around how dreadful Twelve is – how tone deaf it is to its young protagonists and how vapid its ersatz production design seems.
  19. Simply put, Battlefield Earth is the worst film I've seen in over 10 years, and believe me, that's saying a lot.
  20. There are bad movies, and there’s Boat Trip, a puerile comedy so appalling and unfunny, it’s like contracting the Norwalk virus at sea.
  21. Such a monumentally bad remake of such an exceptionally chilling genre favorite.
  22. It boggles the mind that The Legend of Chun-Li is as vapid and dull as it is.
  23. Packs all the spine-tingling punch of a soggy bag of mulch.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    A sorry excuse for a movie, and director Davis (CB4, Guncrazy) and star Sandler should be very embarrassed.
  24. Not only is the franchise growing hoary, by now it's become downright laughable, leaving Lethal Weapon 4 feeling more like a bad Fox sitcom than anything else.
  25. Hall Pass has half the right idea: Scratch out "Hall," and just … pass.
  26. Do yourself and your kids a favor, parents, and head to "Spy Kids" instead.
  27. A well-meaning but ineptly made message movie.
  28. I'd be hard-pressed to name another recent film so deeply noxious, soul-sick, and unfunny.

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