Austin Chronicle's Scores

For 4,895 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 37% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 61% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 7.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 54
Highest review score: 100 Synecdoche, New York
Lowest review score: 0 A Haunted House
Score distribution:
4,895 movie reviews
  1. It boggles the mind that Saddam Hussein and assorted cohorts have finally won their rightful place in the global noose while various and sundry villains associated with this third entry in the Santa Claus franchise of flaccidly feel-good, winter nostrums will no doubt be allowed to walk the Earth with nary a qualm nor backward glance.
  2. The real crime here is that Let's Go to Prison made a daring escape from direct-to-video stir into the relative freedom of your neighborhood multiplex. Consider this one disarmed and extremely pointless.
  3. Granted, the state of the indie hipster and/or Big-Man-on-the-Quad aesthetic has probably skewed a bit since I was a frosh, but good lord, man, it can't be this pale an imitation of campus life. I implore you: Go rent "National Lampoon's Animal House" and leave this flaccid wanker alone.
  4. If you really want the kids to see a colorfully cryptic meta fairy tale, be subversive and go rent 'em some Alejandro Jodorowsky. No child deserves Happily N'Ever After.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    The most poignant point in the whole painful endeavor is when the credits roll. It's here that we see the outtakes and watch Cedric riffing as he improvs variations on his dialogue. These outtakes are genuinely funny, standing as reminders that the last 90 minutes were a sad waste of talent.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    I've rarely seen a movie as hostile as this one, both to its audience and to its protagonists, and I don't think I realized before just how mean-spirited comedy can get (and I was raised on the Three Stooges).
  5. Whether their goal is to nourish the faithful or lure the heathens is not always clear. The only thing that's clear is that The Last Sin Eater serves neither of these higher purposes.
  6. A listless family comedy and bland morality primer.
  7. Wiper doesn't exploit the possibilities of his setting, so the only conflict is the fighting, the only suspense comes from waiting for the next character to pop out from behind a tree and do something possibly interesting.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Kennedy’s humor comes from the broad, brainless, lowest-common-denominator school (in other words, he was born to play a grown man with the intelligence of an boy).
  8. But is it funny? Not really.
  9. Beverly Hills Cop III is made with so little spark, humor, and internal logic that it makes me better appreciate these other recent Murphy movies where the actor/comedian at least stretched his persona and attempted something apart from the action comedy mold.
  10. It's not even funny. Nor does it contain half the wit or charm as the old Doris Day sex comedies it so resembles.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    A piece of garbage and the best argument for reading books since the first pop-up appeared.
  11. Captivity is the kind of film that gives torture porn a bad name.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    A movie full of weak moments, contrived to the point of painful.
  12. A gruesome whodunit that's missing more than a few brain cells.
  13. None of this made a lick of sense to me, nor did it appear to be all that obvious to either the cast or screenwriter Hodge, whose work here feels as though he'd given up in frustration halfway through before deciding to see how far he could push the vaguely Harry Potter-esque shenanigans before getting sacked.
  14. Hey, guys, when you repurpose a disco hit to poke fun at gay men, not only do you look like assholes, you look like assholes who rip their jokes off of YouTube.
  15. The only evolution in question here is that of Emmerich's skills as a director of motion pictures.
  16. A nearly bloodless slasher film with fewer surprises than a broken jack-in-the-box.
  17. Make Ben Stein some more money (and get a good, mordant chuckle while you're at it) by checking out this loopy, factually befuddled documentary that should manage the not-inconsiderable feat of insulting Christians, Jews, Muslims, and those nutty sci-guys who go in for Darwin by way of bad teeth and Einsteinian hair styles.
  18. A dreadfully misguided movie.
  19. Anderson has neutered the original film's outrageously transgressive macadam mayhem and completely stripped the story of its pointedly political social satire, making this Death Race one of the most boring drags of all time.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    There's no nice way to say this, so I'll just say it: Writer/directors Friedberg and Seltzer are a scourge.
  20. College, a film so persistently loud and annoying that it single-handedly makes the case for drugging yourself with a roofie.
  21. It's not particularly fun, or funny, for starters.
  22. I'd be hard-pressed to name another recent film so deeply noxious, soul-sick, and unfunny.
  23. But bad, this film's so bad! To flub the fans' most beloved butcher boy.
  24. It boggles the mind that The Legend of Chun-Li is as vapid and dull as it is.

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