Austin Chronicle's Scores

For 5,062 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 38% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 60% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 7.4 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 54
Highest review score: 100 Force Majeure
Lowest review score: 0 Jack
Score distribution:
5,062 movie reviews
  1. A knockoff in everything from style to story, it also suffers from 3-D effects that are dim and underwhelming, a maddeningly obtuse storyline, and performances that could have used some serious Herbert West-style reanimation.
  2. Valentine succeeds only in boring you to death.
  3. Boasting that your film features "two of the six writers of Scary Movie," as this film's marketing campaign does, is like bragging that you came in second in the annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Fiction Contest.
  4. A gruesome whodunit that's missing more than a few brain cells.
  5. The top-line talent, particularly Thornton and Rourke, do manage to hold our attention with idiosyncratic performances, but most of the others are a jumble of fair-haired, disaffected boys.
  6. Excruciating in the extreme, this is the nadir of urban comedies thus far: a trashy, crass, and painfully unfunny airline disaster of a film.
  7. The confusion it mistakes for true soul-searching is about as realistic a look at the politics of youthful attraction as one of those "Did somebody say McDonald's?" commercials is a look at mainstream American family values. Did somebody say McCheese?
  8. Somewhere along the road to becoming teens idols, these actors got confused between being the bomb -- and getting it.
  9. Certain to be distasteful to children and adults alike, Eight Crazy Nights is a total misfire.
  10. Unforgivably tedious tale.
  11. But bad, this film's so bad! To flub the fans' most beloved butcher boy.
  12. I'm not gonna sugarcoat this: Movies don't have to be this bad.
  13. Whether their goal is to nourish the faithful or lure the heathens is not always clear. The only thing that's clear is that The Last Sin Eater serves neither of these higher purposes.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    A piece of garbage and the best argument for reading books since the first pop-up appeared.
  14. If Never Die Alone had even a smidgeon of comic relief (or even, say, a bunch of zombies) to offset some of its relentlessly downbeat brutality, it might have been at best tolerable. But it doesn't, and it's not.
  15. Part unfunny sitcom, part post-"Gigli" career resurrection strategy, and all bad.
  16. All the advance signs looked discouraging, but I still kept thinking: How bad could a comedy starring Eddie Murphy and Jeff Goldblum really be? Well, let's put it this way … you won't ever hear me asking that particular question again.
  17. The only entities hoodwinked by this animated sequel are paying customers.
  18. Shamelessly dull.
  19. Very nearly as entertaining as watching a potato bake.
  20. Unspeakably awful.
  21. A singularly distasteful campus romp.
  22. Kids will revolt, parents will snooze, and I will be downright giddy if I never encounter another Pokémon movie as long as I live. Ack!
  23. Not content to merely be lowbrow and stupid – there's room in the world for lowbrow and stupid mass entertainment – the film is pushy and might actually cause chafing.
  24. Listless, dull, and totally lacking in spectacle.
  25. It's a bad movie that only a parent could love.
  26. This dragon, sadly, is DOA.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    This movie is a mess: It keeps doubling back on itself – a twisting pretzel of a plot that doesn’t really make sense.
  27. Egregiously mediocre and flagrantly ill-conceived in every department, this is, truly, the cinematic equivalent of finding a single solitary Saltine in your stocking and a pair of old tube socks beneath the tree. Humbug!
  28. The Virginity Hit is repugnant.

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