Austin Chronicle's Scores

For 4,734 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 37% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 61% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 54
Highest review score: 100 Pulp Fiction
Lowest review score: 0 The Bounty Hunter
Score distribution:
4,734 movie reviews
  1. It's not particularly fun, or funny, for starters.
  2. I'd be hard-pressed to name another recent film so deeply noxious, soul-sick, and unfunny.
  3. But bad, this film's so bad! To flub the fans' most beloved butcher boy.
  4. It boggles the mind that The Legend of Chun-Li is as vapid and dull as it is.
    • 7 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    As the straight-man virgin, Cregger is almost entirely devoid of personality; as his hyperkinetic sidekick, Moore may have the most unlikable personality in movie history.
  5. The top-line talent, particularly Thornton and Rourke, do manage to hold our attention with idiosyncratic performances, but most of the others are a jumble of fair-haired, disaffected boys.
  6. Intelligence is insulted at every turn in this new date movie.
  7. Bland to the point of pointlessness.
  8. Surrogates' morality is less Asimov than asinine, although it's bizarrely reassuring, in a nihilistic sort of way, to believe that in the future, when the world is ready to play The Sims for real (so to speak), our avatars are all going to look like generic porn stars with shitty airbrush jobs.
  9. In all fairness, the sheer, overwhelming mediocrity of everything about Pandorum – Travis Milloy's hackneyed, ultra-derivative script, Alvart's plodding pacing and dull direction, even the eventual crimson tide of gore that duly arrives just in time to keep audience members over the age of 13 from dozing off – may well constitute a new breed of horror: In space, no one can hear you snore.
  10. It's so unreal it hurts.
  11. White is cast in this film as a “guardian angel” and adds another level of painful homosexual confusion and stereotyping to the film. Ultimately, all the chafing caused by Gentlemen Broncos is likely to leave you saddlesore.
  12. Don't believe the hype: Paranormal Activity may be a lot of things, but the words "scary" and "movie" are not among them. It is instead nothing more or less than an excruciatingly tedious YouTube gag cleverly marketed to go viral in the broadest and most box office-friendly way.
  13. Nobody of Chan's legendary stature should ever have to play second banana to George Lopez, and certainly not in a film that was already made five years ago with Vin Diesel (see: The Pacifier).
  14. This film is unquestionably the most unromantic and downright despairing romcom since "Made of Honor" or, possibly, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
  15. A well-meaning but ineptly made message movie.
  16. How do movies this bad still get made?
  17. Barely worthy of a legitimate theatrical release.
  18. I’ve seen sick kids exploited for all sorts of reasons – usually as easy ploys to manipulate emotions but sometimes to sell things or encourage philanthropic outpourings – but Letters to God takes the cake (make that the holy wafer).
  19. Part unfunny sitcom, part post-"Gigli" career resurrection strategy, and all bad.
  20. There's no getting around how dreadful Twelve is – how tone deaf it is to its young protagonists and how vapid its ersatz production design seems.
  21. You want vampiric satire with actual laughs? Try Mel Brooks' "Dracula: Dead and Loving It," "Love at First Bite," or even Roman Polanski's "The Fearless Vampire Killers." Anything is better than Friedberg and Seltzer's endless, bargain-basement, sub-Cracked magazine un-comedy.
  22. The Virginity Hit is repugnant.
  23. This utterly mediocre forget-me-now could've been crafted by any faceless serial director at all. The shame of it is that the man behind the camera is Wes Craven when, by all rights, it should have been Alan Smithee.
  24. Listless, dull, and totally lacking in spectacle.
  25. It's only February but I can already name the year's winner of Most Thoughtless Gay Stereotype in Film award. The dubious honor goes to The Roommate.
  26. Hall Pass has half the right idea: Scratch out "Hall," and just … pass.
  27. The only remotely entertaining aspects of Insidious come from Whannell and Sampson as a comic pair of hypercompetitive hipster ghost hunters, and even that schtick is repeated ad nauseam.
  28. The only entities hoodwinked by this animated sequel are paying customers.
  29. I'm not gonna sugarcoat this: Movies don't have to be this bad.

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