Austin Chronicle's Scores

For 5,096 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 38% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 60% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 7.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 54
Highest review score: 100 Crash
Lowest review score: 0 Boat Trip
Score distribution:
5,096 movie reviews
  1. One of the most deadly dull "SNL" spinoffs.
  2. Intelligence is insulted at every turn in this new date movie.
  3. Even with its scant running time, this nightmarish travesty barrels along with all the whipcord speed and nimble comedic grace of a loved one’s funeral.
  4. The story is so shabbily built that it can make no valid claim to motives other than the filmmakers' mercenary desires to cash in on the public's prurient interests. And even on this bottom-feeder level, Showgirls fails to deliver the goods.
  5. Granted, the state of the indie hipster and/or Big-Man-on-the-Quad aesthetic has probably skewed a bit since I was a frosh, but good lord, man, it can't be this pale an imitation of campus life. I implore you: Go rent "National Lampoon's Animal House" and leave this flaccid wanker alone.
  6. RV
    Isn't it time to put Robin Williams out to pasture? There's precious little mirth to be had via RV after the comically nasty opening set-up.
  7. Cody Banks would probably be appropriate for the 13-and-older crowd, but it’s far too dopey for teenage sophisticates.
  8. Long distance information? Get me Hollywood, USA: I’ve got a rusty ice pick to bury in the gullet of whoever greenlighted this pointless exercise in masturbatory tedium.
  9. File this one under What Were They Thinking?
  10. Forget this dreck: Where's that Michael vs. Jason grudge match we've been hearing about for the last decade?
    • 24 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Lame, mindless dialogue makes Wing Commander seem Cukoresque by comparison.
  11. It’s cheese of the purest stripe, bafflingly bad to the point of being oddly charming in its brain dead naïveté.
  12. Weaver and Willis look bored silly while essaying their paint-by-numbers roles, and this film does nothing to make me think Cavill is going to be Zack Snyder's Superman incarnate.
  13. It had a little originality, unlike the other sequels, but not much.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Instead of offering any insight or (dare I dream?) entertainment, Film Geek presents a socially retarded main character stumbling through a dimwitted plot with a series of painfully unfunny nonjokes.
  14. In all fairness, the sheer, overwhelming mediocrity of everything about Pandorum – Travis Milloy's hackneyed, ultra-derivative script, Alvart's plodding pacing and dull direction, even the eventual crimson tide of gore that duly arrives just in time to keep audience members over the age of 13 from dozing off – may well constitute a new breed of horror: In space, no one can hear you snore.
  15. Reeks as badly as it sounds.
  16. Nobody of Chan's legendary stature should ever have to play second banana to George Lopez, and certainly not in a film that was already made five years ago with Vin Diesel (see: The Pacifier).
  17. 90 minutes of ridiculous, silly fun. Of course, it's still a very bad movie.
  18. It's pornography of the most depressing sort.
  19. What does startle is how tiresome it all is.
  20. There's an oddball quality to the ensemble that might even be lovable if the movie weren't so glib and perfunctory.
  21. Any just God would likely recoil from the ham-fisted and spurious defense put forth in this film.
  22. Never aims higher than the urinal.
  23. Even the youngest members of the audience appeared to be more interested in their dwindling soda supply than anything up on the screen. Yabba dabba doom.
  24. Maybe everyone involved was hoping that no one would see this movie, but Madsen is the only one who should fear anyone seeing his work.
  25. A nearly bloodless slasher film with fewer surprises than a broken jack-in-the-box.
  26. Here's hoping someone breaks down and buys Brocka some more toys, if only to distract him from embarking on another flesh-and-blood production.
  27. There's punishment and then there's prolonged, squirm-inducing psychological torture, which is a more accurate description of All's Faire in Love, a romantic comedy that will only be "romantic" to audience members under the age of 14 and utterly devoid of genuine yuks and the necessary rom-com spark.
  28. The game is great fun -- the movie ought to be taken out back and shot.

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