Austin Chronicle's Scores

For 5,188 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 38% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 60% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 7.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 54
Highest review score: 100 Million Dollar Baby
Lowest review score: 0 Tomcats
Score distribution:
5,188 movie reviews
  1. This is a movie that should have bypassed the theatres and gone straight to DVD. It is offensive on so many levels.
  2. White is cast in this film as a “guardian angel” and adds another level of painful homosexual confusion and stereotyping to the film. Ultimately, all the chafing caused by Gentlemen Broncos is likely to leave you saddlesore.
  3. Utterly devoid of merit, fantastic or otherwise, a more exasperating descent into the feline world is difficult to imagine.
  4. The script is simultaneously boring and breathlessly busy, and it really gives Arquette a beating, as scene after scene subjects him to electrocution, dog attack, encasement in bubble wrap, public pantlessness, assault by the hearing-impaired, a fishbowl on the head, and gluteal paralysis caused by poisonous sea urchins.
  5. Eurotrash for the new millennium.
  6. The movie is nothing more than a perpetual chain of elaborately choreographed (by returning star Robin Shou) fight sequences that mix live-action foregrounds with complexly layered digital effects and are linked together by the most flimsy and laughable of plot elements.
  7. Functions mainly as a big-screen showcase for America's No. 1 teen tease, with the story and other characters serving mainly as accessories.
  8. Beverly Hills Cop III is made with so little spark, humor, and internal logic that it makes me better appreciate these other recent Murphy movies where the actor/comedian at least stretched his persona and attempted something apart from the action comedy mold.
  9. The only evolution in question here is that of Emmerich's skills as a director of motion pictures.
  10. The Punisher is such a bad film that it becomes inadvertently entertaining; it’s enough to make you pine for the original version of the black-clad Marvel Comics’ badass, played to awful imperfection in 1989 by Dolph Lundgren.
  11. It’s a lot like hearing the play-by-play account of a heated game of bridge. Only not half as gripping.
  12. Her mortal story seems one of sadness rather than inspiration.
  13. If you really want the kids to see a colorfully cryptic meta fairy tale, be subversive and go rent 'em some Alejandro Jodorowsky. No child deserves Happily N'Ever After.
  14. None of this made a lick of sense to me, nor did it appear to be all that obvious to either the cast or screenwriter Hodge, whose work here feels as though he'd given up in frustration halfway through before deciding to see how far he could push the vaguely Harry Potter-esque shenanigans before getting sacked.
  15. It's the kind of bad movie that gives bad movies a bad name.
  16. It's full of special effects that are big on smoke and noise, but short on logic and payoff.
  17. The marketing weasels over at Disney deserve to have their beady little eyes gouged out with flaming icicles for the fast one they've pulled on audiences with Snow Dogs.
  18. One of the most deadly dull "SNL" spinoffs.
  19. Intelligence is insulted at every turn in this new date movie.
  20. Even with its scant running time, this nightmarish travesty barrels along with all the whipcord speed and nimble comedic grace of a loved one’s funeral.
  21. The story is so shabbily built that it can make no valid claim to motives other than the filmmakers' mercenary desires to cash in on the public's prurient interests. And even on this bottom-feeder level, Showgirls fails to deliver the goods.
  22. Granted, the state of the indie hipster and/or Big-Man-on-the-Quad aesthetic has probably skewed a bit since I was a frosh, but good lord, man, it can't be this pale an imitation of campus life. I implore you: Go rent "National Lampoon's Animal House" and leave this flaccid wanker alone.
  23. RV
    Isn't it time to put Robin Williams out to pasture? There's precious little mirth to be had via RV after the comically nasty opening set-up.
  24. Cody Banks would probably be appropriate for the 13-and-older crowd, but it’s far too dopey for teenage sophisticates.
  25. Long distance information? Get me Hollywood, USA: I’ve got a rusty ice pick to bury in the gullet of whoever greenlighted this pointless exercise in masturbatory tedium.
  26. File this one under What Were They Thinking?
  27. Forget this dreck: Where's that Michael vs. Jason grudge match we've been hearing about for the last decade?
    • 24 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Lame, mindless dialogue makes Wing Commander seem Cukoresque by comparison.
  28. It’s cheese of the purest stripe, bafflingly bad to the point of being oddly charming in its brain dead naïveté.
  29. Weaver and Willis look bored silly while essaying their paint-by-numbers roles, and this film does nothing to make me think Cavill is going to be Zack Snyder's Superman incarnate.

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