Austin Chronicle's Scores

For 5,016 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 38% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 60% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 7.4 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 54
Highest review score: 100 Affliction
Lowest review score: 0 A Sound of Thunder
Score distribution:
5,016 movie reviews
  1. It had a little originality, unlike the other sequels, but not much.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Instead of offering any insight or (dare I dream?) entertainment, Film Geek presents a socially retarded main character stumbling through a dimwitted plot with a series of painfully unfunny nonjokes.
  2. In all fairness, the sheer, overwhelming mediocrity of everything about Pandorum – Travis Milloy's hackneyed, ultra-derivative script, Alvart's plodding pacing and dull direction, even the eventual crimson tide of gore that duly arrives just in time to keep audience members over the age of 13 from dozing off – may well constitute a new breed of horror: In space, no one can hear you snore.
  3. Reeks as badly as it sounds.
  4. Nobody of Chan's legendary stature should ever have to play second banana to George Lopez, and certainly not in a film that was already made five years ago with Vin Diesel (see: The Pacifier).
  5. 90 minutes of ridiculous, silly fun. Of course, it's still a very bad movie.
  6. It's pornography of the most depressing sort.
  7. What does startle is how tiresome it all is.
  8. There's an oddball quality to the ensemble that might even be lovable if the movie weren't so glib and perfunctory.
  9. Any just God would likely recoil from the ham-fisted and spurious defense put forth in this film.
  10. Never aims higher than the urinal.
  11. Even the youngest members of the audience appeared to be more interested in their dwindling soda supply than anything up on the screen. Yabba dabba doom.
  12. Maybe everyone involved was hoping that no one would see this movie, but Madsen is the only one who should fear anyone seeing his work.
  13. A nearly bloodless slasher film with fewer surprises than a broken jack-in-the-box.
  14. Here's hoping someone breaks down and buys Brocka some more toys, if only to distract him from embarking on another flesh-and-blood production.
  15. There's punishment and then there's prolonged, squirm-inducing psychological torture, which is a more accurate description of All's Faire in Love, a romantic comedy that will only be "romantic" to audience members under the age of 14 and utterly devoid of genuine yuks and the necessary rom-com spark.
  16. The game is great fun -- the movie ought to be taken out back and shot.
  17. A Tail of Two Kitties couldn't care less about its human principals, and all it wants its animals to do is air-guitar to "Cat Scratch Fever" and wear silly sunglasses.
  18. It's not even funny. Nor does it contain half the wit or charm as the old Doris Day sex comedies it so resembles.
  19. There's precious little to like about the witless and decidedly tedious Black Knight other than the fact that it's unlikely to generate a sequel.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    The most poignant point in the whole painful endeavor is when the credits roll. It's here that we see the outtakes and watch Cedric riffing as he improvs variations on his dialogue. These outtakes are genuinely funny, standing as reminders that the last 90 minutes were a sad waste of talent.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Kennedy’s humor comes from the broad, brainless, lowest-common-denominator school (in other words, he was born to play a grown man with the intelligence of an boy).
  20. The damn thing is boring. Dull as dirt. Despite the many fine actors involved, View From the Top is a third-class production through and through and, frankly, I'd rather be pelted in the head with stale, salty peanuts than sit through it again.
  21. Camp has also been compared to Alan Parker’s "Fame," which operates with a similar love of behind-the-scenes melodrama and youthful idealism, but different in that it doesn’t induce brain-swelling revulsion in the viewer.
  22. Nothing about this movie works.
  23. Don't believe the hype: Paranormal Activity may be a lot of things, but the words "scary" and "movie" are not among them. It is instead nothing more or less than an excruciatingly tedious YouTube gag cleverly marketed to go viral in the broadest and most box office-friendly way.
  24. You want REAL terror? If this second outing proves profitable, we'll be looking at Yet Again I Recall the Summer Before the Summer Before Last. Now that's scary.

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