Austin Chronicle's Scores

For 4,945 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 38% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 60% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 7.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 54
Highest review score: 100 Cabaret
Lowest review score: 0 Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties
Score distribution:
4,945 movie reviews
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    At this point, I guess we should just applaud Allen for his work ethic. Even at the ripe, old age of 72, he’s still making movies at the rate of one a year, come rain or come shine. The problem, of course, is that he doesn’t make good movies at the rate of one a year. In fact, by my count, he hasn’t made a good movie for almost a decade (1999’s "Sweet & Lowdown").
  1. Almost insufferably sufferable. It's a chick flick of the tallest order, with schmaltz galore and the sort of ongoing romantic hubris that practically screams, "This is codswallop, right?"
  2. There will be blood in the ultraviolent Rambo, a movie that depicts both heinous acts and righteous reckoning with equal degrees of flying body parts and arterial sprays.
  3. This one has the feel of being penned on rolling papers, with room to spare.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    If we don’t stop these public dance-offs here and now, before too long we’re going to have an entire generation of kids seeking salvation as back-up dancers for Justin Timberlake
  4. Osmond is all teeth and no talent. You’d think that his presence here might provide an opportunity for some tongue-in-cheek humor at his expense, but Osmond plays the comedy so darn straight that it’s painful to watch.
  5. Much to my dismay this is not an unauthorized sequel to Abel Ferrara's 1979 East Village art-world freakout "Driller Killer." This is instead a dispiritingly mediocre tweener comedy from some very talented people who appear to be experiencing a delayed sophomore slump.
  6. Perry tosses everything at his disposal into his movie gumbo, even a completely gratuitous appearance by his signature, self-performed, alter-ego in drag Madea – most likely to set up the premise for his next film "Madea Goes to Jail."
  7. Perelman eases the transitions between the past and the present with echoing phrases and situations, but they all seem rather pat and contrived. Does he really think that repeated refrains from the Zombies oldie, "She's Not There," won't be a dead (so to speak) giveaway?
  8. What this really comes down to is the film's central lie. Made of Honor pins its hopes on a character who acts utterly without honor, and on an actor who has only two settings – sensitive or smarmy. The smarm wins.
  9. There's more story, heart, and – cutting to the chase, the quick, and the dead – pure, unadulterated fun contained within a scant five minutes of Rockstar Games' new Grand Theft Auto IV video game than there is in the whole of Speed Racer.
  10. War, Inc. is neither all that interesting nor all that cool.
  11. The Happening is both too incoherenly weird and too narratively ambitious for its own good.
  12. A godforsaken (possibly literally) mess.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    Quirky and undisturbed, unaffected and unaffecting.
  13. Swing Vote may muster a few easy laughs, but the film is no contender.
  14. Stuff the cork back in: This wine movie was sold before its time.
  15. Terrifically dull, full of ear-searing sound design and much yakkity-yakking about the fate of humanity but entirely lacking any sort of soul or sense of good old summer matinee fun.
  16. Ultimately, it's a long, incoherent mess of a film, enlivened only by the sure knowledge that the great Will Eisner's original is available to one and all at your nearest comic-book shop.
  17. It's not a great action dust-up by any means.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    All that's missing from the director's new vision of the world is the pipe organ and the choir of angels.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    Where Young's book was a slap in the face, this movie is a kick on the backside, all hokey humor and quaint lovability.
  18. Pixar this isn't, but neither is it "Mary Shelley's Veggie Tales." If only.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    Say what you will about comedian-turned-actor Cook, the man is a force of nature, a tornado of verbal gymnastics and physical contortions who will do anything for a laugh.
  19. I'm beginning to suspect there's some sort of ancient, or at least post-Pearl Harbor, curse in play that stops genre-oriented Asian filmmakers from creating anything of all but the most negligible merit once they hit the California shore.
  20. From "Hands on a Hard Body" to an 89-minute ogling of another hard body: It boggles the mind that 11 years after his engrossing documentary about an endurance competition to win a truck in Longview, Texas, filmmaker Bindler has channeled his talents into this regrettable comedy.
  21. I've had mosquito bites that were more passionate than this undead, unrequited, and altogether unfun pseudo-romantic riff on Romeo and Juliet.
  22. Truly, the greatest torture of all is boredom.
  23. With Filth and Wisdom, the Material Girl has now spliced the title of film writer and director into her list of accomplishments, but the result is, well, immaterial.
  24. You come away from Splinter feeling it would have made a far more effective short than the feature-length drag it is.

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