A bland dish indeed, whipped up by chefs who were asleep, or perhaps dead, when lessons on taste and flavor were being taught. [Feb 2003, p.154]

This is a well-put-together mini-game masquerading as sports entertainment. [Dec 2002, p.250]

A camera system that hates you dominates throughout. [Jan 2003, p.194]

Playing Tao Feng is a lot like diarrhea; the longer it lasts, the more irritated you get. [May 2003, p.134]

What they've done is mash together a platform/coin-collecting game with a plodding kart-combat racer, then grafted on some escaped-from-a-cell-phone minigames. It's a Frankensteinian mess.

It's just mediocre all around. [Jan. 2007, p.106]

When it comes to graphics, it still almost looks like an N64 game…It’s worth renting QB Club 2002 just to play these mini-games. [Mar 2002, p.141]

The owners of the Tetris license have got to stop whoring it out. [Sept 2002, p.162]

Should be plenty fun for the very young ones in your family. [Mar 2002, p.141]

Mediocre at best. [June 2002, p.118]

Any aspect of the game that apires to distinction is negated by mediocrity. [May 2003, p.126]

What they've done is mash together a platform/coin-collecting game with a plodding kart-combat racer, then grafted on some escaped-from-a-cell-phone minigames. It's a Frankensteinian mess.

Viking simply doesn't do enough to stand up to the more polished action experiences out there. [June 2008, p.86]

Viking simply doesn't do enough to stand up to the more polished action experiences out there. [June 2008, p.86]

Where’s the freaking Dynasty mode? [Mar 2002, p.138]

In more than 20 years of playing games, I have never seen a console game as obviously unfinished and rushed to market as Enter the Matrix...This game is a complete mess, and that's the only complete thing about it. [Aug 2003, p.114]

Sorry, but the near total lack of horror in this survival horror game bored me plumb to sleep. [July 2003, p.116]

I usually have a hard time falling asleep on long flights. But I really did conk out during one of Delta Strike's many dull, virtual-lullaby cinema sequences. [March 2004, p.115]

Voice recognition will be a lot more fun when it <I>works</I>. Until then, if I really want to be ignored and misunderstood by a girl, I'll go clubbing and hit on the hughty hipster chick in the Pabst Blue Ribbon T-shirt. [Apr 2004, p.118]

It took me exactly four hours and seven minutes to finish Astro Boy, which (if you buy the game at list price) comes out to around 10 dollars per hour. It's not a particularly memorable four hours, either. [Oct 2004, p.107]

If only the Eskimos had 144 words for "tasteless" in their language, I would totally learn Inuit just to describe 187. As a game, I give 187 a 40, but as a product, my score is a negative f*** you. [Oct 2005, p.115]

Bland gameplay, however, stifles what inspiration there is. The fighting action is fundamentally underwhelming, and a poor camera and constant loading further handcuff things.

Any joy you might glean from Tao's progressive treasure collecting and monster slaying will be completely drowned by your tears of boredom. [May 2006, p.108]

Only players with a "Top Gun" level of dedication will persevere. Everyone else will start looking for the eject button. [Aug 2006, p.88]

Play Adventure for the solid traditional modes and adequate multiplayer, but don't expect to get too much enjoyment out of the dull platforming. [Sept. 2006, p.98]

May your future romantic disappointments be less expensive. [Jan. 2007, p.96]

While I think it's kind of neat to have a big party of six tearing through dungeons, controlling them all during real-time combat is a bit cumbersome, and I wish the loot was a bit more inspiring than the generic fare you find here. [Mar 2007, p.95]

As a fan of both shooters and fighters, I dig the shooter-fighter mashup concept--it's just a shame that it really doesn't work as well as you'd imagine. [July 2007, p.89]

It's a button masher, pure and simple, with very little skill necessary. Sure, the unlockable rewards are fairly cool, but only the most patient DBZ faithfuls will suffer through it for that long.

Evolution 2 has all the right ingredients to be fun &#150; it just doesn&#146;t put them together well. [Dec 2001, p.250]

In more than 20 years of playing games, I have never seen a console game as obviously unfinished and rushed to market as Enter the Matrix...This game is a complete mess, and that's the only complete thing about it. [Aug 2003, p.114]

Problems from the first Raw carry over - matches plod on too long, and animations look unrealistic and robotic. Even diehard WWE fans should treat this as a rental. [Dec 2003, p.224]

If only the Eskimos had 144 words for "tasteless" in their language, I would totally learn Inuit just to describe 187. As a game, I give 187 a 40, but as a product, my score is a negative f*** you. [Oct 2005, p.115]

Bland gameplay, however, stifles what inspiration there is. The fighting action is fundamentally underwhelming, and a poor camera and constant loading further handcuff things.

Laughable characters aside, this game just ain't fun. It's so simple that even experienced players fare better pounding one button than trying to executre combos or reversals. [July 2003, p.122]

In more than 20 years of playing games, I have never seen a console game as obviously unfinished and rushed to market as Enter the Matrix...This game is a complete mess, and that's the only complete thing about it. [Aug 2003, p.114]

Excitement wears thin when you realize you're fighting the same enemies and running down the same corridors over and over. There's not even a real story to cling to, so players are left with little more than a few hours of tedious button mashing. [Oct 2003, p.163]

Play Adventure for the solid traditional modes and adequate multiplayer, but don't expect to get too much enjoyment out of the dull platforming. [Sept. 2006, p.98]

What a thermonuclear disappointment. To someone like me, who loved all three Fallout role-playing games on PC, this is a power fist to the face - an insult. [March 2004, p.114]

It's the boring level designs that annoy me the most. [Nov 2002, p.296]

Offers some decent (yet uninspired) missions to fly, but...true thrills are in short supply. [Nov 2003, p.184]

This game is awful. And also totally hilarious. [Feb 2004, p.120]

If the nausea-inducing camera doesn't kill your patience, the wacky wall-running and platform-leaping sections will. [May 2005, p.125]

Trust me: The nostalgia is lost after you bash your hundredth battle droid or start getting creamed by the enemies' cheap gang-up-on-you tactics. [July 2005, p.116]

Monster Madness is a train wreck if you happen to be an only child or lack nearby friends. [June 2007, p.89]

It should be illegal for you to own money if you even considered buying this crap. [Jan 2004, p.189]

What a thermonuclear disappointment. To someone like me, who loved all three Fallout role-playing games on PC, this is a power fist to the face - an insult. [March 2004, p.114]

If someone handed you a lightsaber, I bet you, like me, would want to rip a lot of things a new poopchute with it. Unfortunately, this isn&#146;t the Ginsu simulator I was hoping for. [Feb 2002, p.168]

An epic game. But like other grand-scale projects, say the movie "Waterworld" for example, it ends up spreading itself too thin for its own good. [Apr 2002, p.144]

This includes multiplayer, which is a joke: dull levels, instant respawns in capture the flag (try invading a base when downed enemies just reappear right away, with full health), and a horrible interface that leaves online soldiers more confused than eagerly anticipating the action. [Aug 2004, p.110]

Instead of being boring, it's totally unbalanced and infuriating. [Jan 2004, p.142]

If the nausea-inducing camera doesn't kill your patience, the wacky wall-running and platform-leaping sections will. [May 2005, p.125]

Airblade sabotages everything it gets right with gameplay problems. [Mar 2002, p.135]

The clunky control doesn't help; I never got the hang of aiming my rockets, no matter how much I practiced on the herds of sheep. [August 2002, p.124]

Inexplicably horrible graphics completely ruin an otherwise splendid title. [Feb 2002, p.156]

Never thought Vikings could be so boring. [Oct 2001, p.148]

If Sapphire put as much emphasis on the combat as they did on conjuring gritty stories to back each fighter, Barbarian could have been a lot better. [July 2002, p.115]

Only a hollow shell of the landmark 1979 series that started it all. [Oct 2001, p.148]

Combat feels stiff, rote, and only semi-interactive: dodge an enemy's flurry, then press the correct sequence of buttons (ad nauseam) to counterattack. [Nov 2003, p.178]

Besides the horrendous camera and controls, what irked me the most was how nonsensical it was. Its relentless linearity leads to jumping puzzles that make absolutely no sense. [Oct 2004, p.101]

All quirky style with little substance, Overdose has you blasting through endless hordes of goons - although the real enemy is the camera and clunky controls. [Dec 2004, p.170]

The fakeout mechanic that allows you to maximize your gambling dollar is pretty cool, and the over-the-shoulder camera gives a neat Punch-Out!! vibe...but that's about it for the highlights. The rest of the game, from the shallow fight mechanics to the load times to the bland backgrounds, is very mediocre.

It's painfully obvious that Astonishia does nothing to ebb the flow of downright disappointing roleplayers on the portable Playstation. [Aug 2006, p.92]

Fun dance patterns, not great music, make dance games worth playing. It's an interesting idea that doesn't quite work. [Sept. 2006, p.106]

It's like an old-school Sonic game minus anything that made those games good. [Jan. 2007, p.106]

I could've dealt with the much-lauded adventure elements, subpar graphics--even that clown Shadow--but the bottom line is that this feels more like some hack job created by a bunch of Sega interns as opposed to a game from a competent developement studio. [Jan. 2007, p.95]

In the end, Live 07 reminds me of Shaq at the charity stripe: It throws up way too many bricks. [Dec. 2006, p.126]

Jericho is a mess of a shooter with nonexistant A.I., frustrating timed events, vague puzzles, and PS1-style load times. [Dec 2007, p.107]

Jericho is a mess of a shooter with nonexistant A.I., frustrating timed events, vague puzzles, and PS1-style load times. [Dec 2007, p.107]

Amazingly, for a game that costs 10 bucks, HRT is not the horrific tragedy it could have been. [May 2002, p.115]

The third time is definitely not the charm. [July 2002, p.128]

The movie might be OK. But the game? It's a lifeless, mediocre beat-em-up.[Mar 2003, p.134]

It almost seems like a kid's game - until you encounter bosses and trick shots that push your temper to full tilt. And speaking of tilt...where is it? [Nov 2004, p.152]

NC is too shallow to be an RPG and too complicated to be a quick-fix good time...highly repetitive. [Mar 2002, p.144]

If anyone ever caught you playing this game and heard its so-bad-it's-not-even-good music, it would replace that time you got the porno tape stuck in your parents' VCR as the most embarrassing moment of your life. [Sept 2003, p.112]

The game's strange mix of sim and arcade gameplay will please no one, and will leave serious Lotus fans in support groups, talking about what could have been. [June 2003, p.124]

Besides the horrendous camera and controls, what irked me the most was how nonsensical it was. Its relentless linearity leads to jumping puzzles that make absolutely no sense. [Oct 2004, p.101]

Playing DHV makes me feel like Hans Gruber at the end of the first "Die Hard" film: falling backward toward the pavement, flailing and screaming. [Dec 2002, p.228]

You'll still have to deal with irritating load times and janky collision detection problems (it's easy to get your car stuck on objects and buildings). [Mar 2002, p.141]

Expect a stale, low-tech dungeon crawl that feels like it fell out of 1999. [Feb 2003, p.144]

Unlocking new tracks is a tedious chore - and even then, the tracks all look too similar. [Dec 2002, p.228]

It's dog slow, with shallow gameplay and a whole three varieties of power-ups. [July 2003, p.110]

I felt like I was on my way to pick up the kids from school rather than racing. [Nov 2002, p.306]

Besides the horrendous camera and controls, what irked me the most was how nonsensical it was. Its relentless linearity leads to jumping puzzles that make absolutely no sense. [Oct 2004, p.101]

That its online component is limited to a linear and moderately laggy co-op mode - and therefore feels even more ponderous than the single-player game - does little to spirit this comic book tie-in from gaming purgatory. [July 2008, p.80]

That its online component is limited to a linear and moderately laggy co-op mode - and therefore feels even more ponderous than the single-player game - does little to spirit this comic book tie-in from gaming purgatory. [July 2008, p.80]

This game's simply schizophrenic; it attempts to be all these things to all people, so in the end result is in dire need of polish and focus. [Oct 2008, p.88]

Too bad it handles like a remote-control car, bolting from a stand-still to top speed in an instant. I'll pass. [Apr 2008, p.73]

Too bad it handles like a remote-control car, bolting from a stand-still to top speed in an instant. I'll pass. [Apr 2008, p.73]

A bland flight-combat shooter. [June 2002, p.114]

The whole package is about as exciting as a flight attendant's safety demonstration. [July 2002, p.115]

The game will keep youngins busy, but if any gamer over the age of 10 gets stuck playing this thing, well, that&#146;s gotta hurt! [Nov 2001, p.210]

Collectively, the infuriating missions and maddening difficulty swings prove to be overwhelming, sucking away what little fun there is. [Nov 2004, p.136]

As a fan of stealth-action in general and the Xbox Chaos Theory in particular, playing the DS version is like reuniting with an old friend...who's gained weight, lost his hair, had his limbs chopped off, his brain sucked out, and been through one of those car-crusher things. And smells. Like cat pee.

The play-style variety may be decent--and you get to upgrade abilities--but each character's level sets grow horribly repetitive and pointless, with stingy checkpoint placement compounding the frustration [July 2006, p.91]

The play-style variety may be decent--and you get to upgrade abilities--but each character's level sets grow horribly repetitive and pointless, with stingy checkpoint placement compounding the frustration [July 2006, p.91]

No online support and "everyone's the same" characters mean no reason to bother at all. [Jun 2006, p.110]

Wow, is Deep labyrinth ever boring. [Sept. 2006, p.106]

You absolutely need more than one (perhaps two) friends to get past the game's flaws: bland menus, a ridiculously annoying announcer, and less than 50 minigames that get old fast. [Mar 2007, p.88]

Throw in boring unskippable intros and interstitials in every stage, and congratulations: Katana completely lost my attention. [Feb 2008, p.79]

It&#146;s hard to take a game seriously whose hero looks like a plastic, blue Reboot reject. I think Paul Reubens would have been more believable. [Feb 2002, p.164]

Collectively, the infuriating missions and maddening difficulty swings prove to be overwhelming, sucking away what little fun there is. [Nov 2004, p.136]

No online support and "everyone's the same" characters mean no reason to bother at all. [Jun 2006, p.110]

The play-style variety may be decent--and you get to upgrade abilities--but each character's level sets grow horribly repetitive and pointless, with stingy checkpoint placement compounding the frustration [July 2006, p.91]

The controls are stiffer and less forgiving than Ike Turner on Viagra, and when your crash-prone rider respawns after eating dirt, he's often facing a wall. [Sept 2003, p.122]

Do not buy this for yourself or your kids or anyone you know - you do not ever want to be in a room where it's being played. [Feb 2004, p.127]

Collectively, the infuriating missions and maddening difficulty swings prove to be overwhelming, sucking away what little fun there is. [Nov 2004, p.136]

The play-style variety may be decent--and you get to upgrade abilities--but each character's level sets grow horribly repetitive and pointless, with stingy checkpoint placement compounding the frustration [July 2006, p.91]

There's nothing good to say about the gameplay, which ignores skill and encourages button-mashing. Stay away from this beast -- it bites. [Dec 2003, p.222]

I expect "Seven Samurai" Director Akira Kurosawa's grave is equipped with some sort of industrial centrifuge to accommodate the amount of spinning he's doing right about now. [May 2004, p.96]

An extremely frustrating, poorly programmed mess. [Feb 2005, p.106]

The story and voice acting offered me several unintentional laughs, but inexcusably stupid elements, such as unskippable cut-scenes and the inability to pick up fallen enemies' weapons, pair with rotten gameplay to make this one of the worst games I've played all year.

Circle of doom indeed. [Feb 2008, p.81]

Navigating your too-large cartoon plane among clunky cliffs and bluffs is akin to playing in a world of giant Duplo bricks. [Apr 2007, p.82]

One of the least exciting party games I&#146;ve ever played. [Jan 2002, p.228]

The throwaway storyline, endless loading times, small environments and barely Dreamcast-quality graphics are instant turn-offs. [Jan 2002, p.230]

This game is a rushed, slapdash effort intended to prey on unsuspecting consumers. [Dec 2002, p.250]

The story and voice acting offered me several unintentional laughs, but inexcusably stupid elements, such as unskippable cut-scenes and the inability to pick up fallen enemies' weapons, pair with rotten gameplay to make this one of the worst games I've played all year.

This latest NBA Ballers seems to have been built in a vacuum. [June 2008, p.79]

Compared to smoother, more realistic titles such as "High Heat" (and to a lesser extent, "All-Star Baseball"), this is an embarrassment. [June 2002, p.114]

A tamer, single-player "Time Crisis 2" with fewer unique enemies and lamer bosses. [August 2002, p.124]

The scale of the town maps and the repetitive graphics make navigating around the map a laborious chore. [Oct 2001, p.148]

The sad truth, however, is that the game pales in every conceivable way to its fellow pro brethren. [Oct 2002, p.184]

Funny writing (courtesy of an ex-"Ren & Stimpy" scribe) can't save this uninspired rehash of antiquated Crash antics with lackluster visuals. [Dec 2004, p.170]

Please, someone invent a real time machine so I can zip back to early April and warn myself not to play this dog-tired-dogfighting-through-the-decades air-combat crapshoot. [June 2007, p.93]

NFL Tour's last-team-with-the-ball-wins emphasis on offense deflates whatever air this pigskin had left in it. [Feb 2008, p.76]

NFL Tour's last-team-with-the-ball-wins emphasis on offense deflates whatever air this pigskin had left in it. [Feb 2008, p.76]

A slapdash, sloppy and unimaginative retrofit. [Jan 2002, p.232]

I thought I&#146;d sooner see Sasquatch ride a Chimera bareback through the streets than a bland series like Mega Man X last through six installments. [Feb 2002, p.172]

The cold, hard truth is that unless digi-fans&#8230;existed, most would not care two digi-bits about DDCB after playing two digi-seconds. [Oct 2001, p.156]

It's not as mind-blowingly awful as the old N64 "Superman" stinker, but it is outclassed by nearly every other comic-book game out there. [Feb 2003, p.154]

Funny writing (courtesy of an ex-"Ren & Stimpy" scribe) can't save this uninspired rehash of antiquated Crash antics with lackluster visuals. [Dec 2004, p.170]

Just another slow, plodding giant-robot game that doesn't add a speck of novelty to the genre. [March 2005, p.128]

Too hard...too slow...too ugly. [May 2002, p.107]

This game sucks. Unlimited Saga exemplfies everything that's wrong with RPGs today and throws it all together in one deluxe package for all to avoid like the plague. [July 2003, p.108]

The dirty language and innuendo rules out kids. Grown-ups will despise its complete lack of gameplay (at least Japanese dating sims offer minigames). That just leaves inmates. But forcing them to play this crap would be cruel and inhuman punishment. [Jan 2005, p.140]

As a game, Bulletproof is a disaster. Your G-Unit allies are so dumb they had to be made invincible to keep them alive.

A game of chess could take forever, but when you pick up a piece, it doesn't take an hour to move it. But that's what Souls' slowdown-laden mess is like. Souls is one of the worst-optimized PS2-to-PSP ports I've played.

The fact is, just about every task the game asks you to play is simply no fun. [Jan 2002, p.230]

The targeting system is useless, the levels are bland and filled with countless invisible barriers, and the camera is so hard to manipulate in tight spaces that you'll often end up staring right at 50's face as he gets ventilated by the dozen enemies he just can't see.

Trying to master the game's unintuitive control system (with 12 different types of punches) was making my head spin, until I realized that mashing buttons and "circle strafing" my foe produced great results most of the time.

The debilitating, clunky controls had me spewing so many expletives in the heat of combat that passersby probably thought I had Tourette's syndrome. [Sept 2003, p.132]

With its forgettable characters, interminable load times, and mind-numbingly dull battles, Blade Dancer assaults players with such profound mediocrity that only the most tenacious questers will make it beyond the first few hours. [Aug 2006, p.93]

Nothing but a disappointing concoction of fighting-genre cliches... Unquestionably the worst fighting game I've played in years. [Feb 2003, p.154]

I smell what THQ is cookin', and it's damn foul... Wrestlers spouting generic one-liners while engaging in car wars is just plain dumb. [May 2003, p.130]

This is a weak port that doesn't do Myst justice; it's not worth a revisit even for nostalgia. [June 2008, p.87]

Play either of the other PS2 NCAA games and look smarter for it. [Oct 2002, p.184]

C'mon, we're talking about a hack-and-slasher with stationary pinatas for targets here! [August 2002, p.126]

This is a snore-fest made all the more yawnsome when you discover you have to watch the computer players take their turns in their geriatric entirety. [Oct 2002, p.194]

Shamelessly uninspired. Trust me, you don't want to fly sortie after mind-numbing sortie of hour-long missions that almost always end in tragedy, forcing you to restart the whole flavorless affair. [Dec 2003, p.184]

T3's first-person shooting stages are plagued by poor controls, terrible level designs, brain-dead enemies, and just plain ugly graphics. [Feb 2004, p.106]

Matches are slower than molasses on a flat surface and play out like blooper reels, with fighters facing the wrong way, refusing to pick up tables or pull off signature strikes. [Sept 2004, p.99]

It's the general gameplay that's busted. Picking up an object is needlessly complex, tricky jumps seem to require more luck than skill, the camera is craptacular, boss battles are tedious, the vehicle-based levels are a joke, and the actual fighting action is bland. [Dec 2004, p.150]

The more time I spent with the game, the deeper I delved into its defects. [Oct. 2006, p.114]

The most frightening thing about this experience is how filled with hatred and rage I get when I find myself stuck in the environment or when the camera swings into "s*** view" for the billionth time. [Apr 2008, p.72]

The in-game dialogue has all the creativity and wit of a Fred Basset cartoon. [Nov 2001, p.222]

Too bad the side-scrolling gameplay is so generic. You're best off staying far, far away from this galaxy. [Dec 2004, p.170]

Trust me, the controls are sheer, unadulterated nonsense. [Apr 2002, p.141]

Difficult - even the homeliest guy on earth could get laid before he could complete the inane tasks required to unlock all the R-rated stripper videos (which aren't worth the effort, by the way). Only the most patient, hardcore, and masochistic will be able to play through XXX. [Feb 2003, p.152]

Matches are slower than molasses on a flat surface and play out like blooper reels, with fighters facing the wrong way, refusing to pick up tables or pull off signature strikes. [Sept 2004, p.99]

T3's first-person shooting stages are plagued by poor controls, terrible level designs, brain-dead enemies, and just plain ugly graphics. [Feb 2004, p.106]

Shamelessly uninspired. Trust me, you don't want to fly sortie after mind-numbing sortie of hour-long missions that almost always end in tragedy, forcing you to restart the whole flavorless affair. [Dec 2003, p.184]

It's the general gameplay that's busted. Picking up an object is needlessly complex, tricky jumps seem to require more luck than skill, the camera is craptacular, boss battles are tedious, the vehicle-based levels are a joke, and the actual fighting action is bland. [Dec 2004, p.150]

This budget-priced shooting gallery would be more thrilling if your plane didn't control like a garbage truck sliding across ice. [Dec 2004, p.170]

Just too troubled to even bother renting. [May 2002, p.112]

It's the general gameplay that's busted. Picking up an object is needlessly complex, tricky jumps seem to require more luck than skill, the camera is craptacular, boss battles are tedious, the vehicle-based levels are a joke, and the actual fighting action is bland. [Dec 2004, p.150]

Besides 5-year-old girly-girls who like, love Britney, the banal set of revolving cominations and a suck-it-for-all-it's-got song list will send you surfing on a contagious yawn-wave. [August 2002, p.123]

The whole damn experience is like watching your dad perform Who Let the Dogs Out? &#150; you want it out of your line of sight as quickly as possible. [Mar 2002, p.135]

Beyond merely bad - it's kind of depressing. [July 2005, p.119]

It is simply a portable piece of ugliness that lacks humility, wit, or any entertainment value whatsoever. It is singularly unpleasant in the way it handles its subject matter, and it lacks the style or panache to carry its inadequacies with any dignity.

If you can handle inelegant controls, graphics, and story, and a text-heavy menu system, this might hold some appeal. Otherwise, avoid it like lycanthropy. [July 2008, p.81]

Combat is about as exciting as watching paint dry. [Aug 2001, p.112]

[It] has gotten faster with all the fluidity of a broken transmission. [Jan 2002, p.216]

On a system this powerful, nausea-inducing framerates should be a thing of the past. [Nov 2001, p.206]

Playing Boomstick is more excruciating than having your sphincter sewn shut and being force-fed prunes. [Shawn, July 2003, p.118]

The players look horrible in comparison to Madden and NFL 2K2, and they move more sluggishly than Oprah after brunch. [Feb 2002, p.154]

The completely screwed-up camera, noticeable lack of sound effects, and gameplay bugs make it obvious no one working on this game cared about it - why should you? [Sept 2004, p.104]

Sorry, B-Man, you went from hero to a big zero. [Sept. 2006, p.97]

And the game's twist will excite only fans of backtracking, who, as far as I know, don't actually exist. [July 2007, p.83]

Mentally handicapped enemies, repetitive mission objectives, and some of the least-intentionally humorous dialogue ever. [July 2003, p.110]

If you want a taste of the gritty underground fight scene depicted in the movie "Fight Club," you'd be better off paying somebody 50 bucks to beat you to a bloody pulp than wasting money on this game. It's unpolished, unfinished, and just plain bad. [Holiday 2004, p.102]

Larry's surreal brand of dong-and-fart humor lost me somewhere between the fifth date-rape joke and the gay-bar sing-along...The meat of the game - the cheesy, lowbrow funny business - goes limp in mere minutes. [Dec 2004, p.148]

Mind-boggling travesty. [Jan 2002, p.231]

Larry's surreal brand of dong-and-fart humor lost me somewhere between the fifth date-rape joke and the gay-bar sing-along...The meat of the game - the cheesy, lowbrow funny business - goes limp in mere minutes. [Dec 2004, p.148]

If you want a taste of the gritty underground fight scene depicted in the movie "Fight Club," you'd be better off paying somebody 50 bucks to beat you to a bloody pulp than wasting money on this game. It's unpolished, unfinished, and just plain bad. [Holiday 2004, p.102]

Too frustrating to be fun. [June 2002, p.114]

Fantastically unfun. [July 2005, p.118]

It's one of the worst games I've ever played. [July 2002, p.128]

It's pure boredom harnessed in cartridge form. [Feb 2004, p.128]

Aside from porn stars, no one likes sloppy seconds. But that&#146;s what Majesco is shamelessly serving up with this effortless rehash. [Feb 2002, p.158]

While the fanciful racetracks are cute, they don't redeem the atrocious racing and so-bad-it's-good-oh-wait-it's-just-bad dialogue. [Dec 2004, p.170]

Regis&#146;s few spunky chime-ins will severely disappoint his extremist fans, as well as nauseate everyone else with how much they sound like assembly-line verbal by-product. [Sept 2001, p.148]

Combine this lame gameplay with gaudy graphics, wretched acting and a mercifully short quest, and you've got one of the worst Xbox titles to date. [Oct 2002, p.204]

Shrek is full of dull, poorly constructed rip-offs that get recycled several times. You'll be utterly bored after a few minutes with these creepy diversions. [Feb 2003, p.158]

One of the worst looking games to come out this year. [Feb 2006, p.110]

The graphics are a mess, the special moves are unresponsive, the animation is less fluid than a flip book, and the combat lacks strategic incentive. [June 2003, p.114]

It'd be a bit better with a saner control scheme, but as it is, Drake is an exercise in frustration and repeated death. [Jan 2004, p.148]

We&#8217;re talking gameplay that swings wildly from being overly simplistic (with brain teasers that couldn&#8217;t tease a 1-year-old) to being frustratingly directionless and unintuitive. [Sept 2001, p.145]

The only button you really need to know about is on the back of your console and it's pretty much impossible to press it too soon. [Feb 2004, p.114]

I think this is the most unplayable game I've ever encountered... and I've played some real crap. [June 2003, p.112]

Or, if you're a life-hating masochist, you can waste $40 on The Guy Game, spend countless hours answering dumb trivia questions - and guessing if vapid skanks can answer dumb trivia questions (usually not) - and then...maybe see breasts. [Nov 2004, p.128]

Or, if you're a life-hating masochist, you can waste $40 on The Guy Game, spend countless hours answering dumb trivia questions - and guessing if vapid skanks can answer dumb trivia questions (usually not) - and then...maybe see breasts. [Nov 2004, p.128]

If a circus train wreck was ever more accurately embodied in digital format, I haven't seen it...It's a steaming pile of bloody dog krap. [Mar 2002, p.146]