Eurogamer's Scores
- Games
For 4,246 reviews, this publication has graded:
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31% higher than the average critic
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4% same as the average critic
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65% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 6.7 points lower than other critics.
(0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 66
| Highest review score: |
Critic Score
100
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| Lowest review score: |
Critic Score
10
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Score distribution:
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Positive: 1,593 out of 4246
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Mixed: 2,106 out of 4246
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Negative: 547 out of 4246
4,246
game reviews
- By critic score
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Critic Score 30
The game only offers a couple of hours' entertainment and they'd be better spent watching the TV show or one of the films, or trawling the Internet for erotic Wesley Crusher fan fiction. -
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Critic Score 30
King of Clubs doesn't play a very good game of golf, and the unlockable elements do little to counteract this rather glaring flaw. -
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Critic Score 30
The sad truth is, if you already have a Wii, you've already got a better boxing title in the shape of Wii Sports - a game that not only allows you to pummel away at a cartoon representation of your sister, but also effortlessly possesses more charm, more wit, and - worryingly - a lot more precision than anything this can offer. -
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Critic Score 30
Even the staunchest of Myst fans can't deny that this is a pretty poor port. Despite being faithful to the original in sound effects and atmosphere, its glitches and lack of new, DS-specific functions ultimately inhibit its worth. -
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Critic Score 30
The game looks rubbish and is dull to play. Flicking a Wii remote might be more like throwing a dart than pressing a button but it's not much more fun. The novelty wears off in about the same amount of time it takes to throw a dart. Toss. -
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Critic Score 30
As interesting an idea as Sky Diving is, sadly the concept fails to deliver thanks to clunky motion sensing. -
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Critic Score 30
Between the obvious chinks in the artificial intelligence and glaring clipping anomalies (with characters walking through walls and floating down staircases), only a truly hardy adventurer will persevere. Did I say hardy? I meant foolhardy. -
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Critic Score 30
At best, it's a functional third-person platformer that sometimes acts like a shooter. At worst, it's an astonishing collection of poor design decisions, half-hearted implementation and mindless narrative clutter that will only lead to buyer's remorse in all who decide to give it a try. -
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Critic Score 30
To make matter worse, the race will stop dead at certain points to forcibly initiate a mini-game in the guise of one of Dastardly and Muttley's futile foils. -
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Critic Score 30
And so rather than allowing you to feel like an armoured avenger, Iron Man's videogame outing merely offers the chance to lurch awkwardly around the sky like a drunken wasp while holding down a button to blow stuff up. -
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Critic Score 30
There's nothing terribly wrong with all this in theory, but the game's shocking lack of polish makes even this rudimentary gameplay a real chore to get through. -
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Critic Score 30
For everything else in its amazing catalogue of flaws, errors and catastrophes, though, the biggest problem is that the game just stops whenever you can't work out what to do. -
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Critic Score 30
There are undoubtedly excellent ideas hiding behind the scenes; they're just stymied by the method of execution. -
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Critic Score 30
Insultingly simple and clumsy Live Arcade puzzle game, unworthy of your time. -
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Critic Score 30
A short game painfully elongated by mindless repetition, there maybe a half-decent melee game somewhere in the midst of all this movie propaganda, but you'll need super-patience to find it. -
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Critic Score 30
If you're so deep into professional cycling that you'd want to play a game where you navigate sterile menus and tell other people how to ride bikes, then there may be some small morsels of enjoyment to be found here, provided you accept that your own enthusiasm will be picking up the slack for a drab and technically sloppy game. -
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Critic Score 30
Chronically poor AI and a lack of challenge aren't the only problems Code of Honor suffers from. The levels are highly linear and feel artificial, with areas boxed in by fences, barbed wire and impenetrable bushes. -
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Critic Score 30
The marriage of XBLA and boxed game is a nice idea, but the Pub Games themselves are lightweight and boring, and the potential benefits for Fable 2 players are the sorts of things typically bundled on Collector's Edition bonus disks in the first place - and typically overlooked by the majority of players who can think of better ways to spend the extra money. -
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Critic Score 30
I'm certainly not averse to this sort of thing appearing on WiiWare but My Aquarium feels like half an idea, lazily executed. If you like the idea of a virtual fish-tank, and don't mind that your input is minimal, then the price is about as right as it'll ever get for this sort of thing. -
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Critic Score 30
For 25 quid, you could hire Richard Blackwood and Daniel Bedingfield for the afternoon and still have change for an egg sandwich, a Panda Pops and the bus to Lewisham Travelodge. You'd have more fun. -
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Critic Score 30
Off Road is not as hateful as, say, RealPlay Racing, but you still shouldn't buy it. -
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Critic Score 30
Eat Lead is far from a compelling parody, taking weak, ambiguous pot shots at other games. Even though these attacks are often hard to trace to their intended target, it's fair to say that Eat Lead isn't worthy to mock them, because whatever else it's trying to be this is a howling misfire of a cover shooter, neither funny or enjoyable, and guilty of worse crimes than the ones it's attempting to mock. -
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Critic Score 30
Instead, the game concludes disagreeably, as virtually everyone Jason is supposed to protect is left tortured and dead by his original departure, and he simply has a party because he got what he wanted. For an action RPG elevated beyond its serviceable components by the allure of rich mythology to end in such a desperate contradiction is comprehensively self-destructive. -
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Critic Score 30
Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad might have been enjoyable, in a silly, disposable way, if the gameplay was halfway decent. It isn't, and not even the nicest bottom in the world can make up for that. -
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Critic Score 30
Ready 2 Rumble Revolution has botched controls, faulty technology and unsympathetic style, but I suspect there's a half-decent arcade fighter residing somewhere underneath it all. Even if there is, though, it'll need to go back to the gym for some serious work before showing its face in the ring again. As it is, it dances like a buffalo and stings like wet cabbage. -
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Critic Score 30
The tasteful, minimalist aquatic theme of Art Style: Aquite appears designed to offset what is actually a rather tedious sorting game. -
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Critic Score 30
The graphics are horrible, and made even worse by that hellish "smoothing" filter. Your powered-up hero has a bulky weightlifter's body with a tiny comedy head on top, while enemy designs are lumpy and ugly. -
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Critic Score 30
Right from first touch, it's clear that Republic Heroes hasn't undergone nearly enough of this sort of testing, and the uninspired foundations are further compromised as they are built upon. As a result, this is a product that will make children frustrated and unhappy, the very opposite of that to which Star Wars should aspire. -
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Critic Score 30
Right from first touch, it's clear that Republic Heroes hasn't undergone nearly enough of this sort of testing, and the uninspired foundations are further compromised as they are built upon. As a result, this is a product that will make children frustrated and unhappy, the very opposite of that to which Star Wars should aspire. -
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Critic Score 30
A lazy and predictable slog through 20-year-old game design, stultifying 'action' and glaring, ridiculous omissions. There's no defending it on the grounds of being a kids' game, since most astute children will likely find this turgid, unengaging blast every bit as tedious and repetitive as their adult counterparts. -
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Critic Score 30
Ultimately, all Funky Punch has going for it is the price. It's certainly cheaper than Tekken, but it's also a pale shadow of virtually all its genre peers. If you value frugality over actual value for money, then by all means give this a spin. -
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Critic Score 30
Painfully thin. -
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Critic Score 30
The sad truth is that there are better looking, better designed twin-stick shooters on the Indie Games channel for a fraction of the price, produced by inspired individuals who have moved on from Beat the Blockoids. Give them your Microsoft Points instead. -
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Critic Score 30
It doesn't help that the game goes from mildly challenging to ridiculously easy within the space of a few hours, and once you hit level 50 nothing in the game will pose any kind of threat. -
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Critic Score 30
Usually, spin-off games can fall back on their inherited audience of existing fans, but with a pointless story that adds nothing to a tale already completed, it's hard to see how even the most devoted follower could get more than an evening of mild amusement from such a scrawny experience. -
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Critic Score 30
If it's erotic imagery you're after, just get some porn. The visuals will be more realistic, the acting will be better and the plot will make more sense. -
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Critic Score 30
It has some redeeming features and won't be the most depressing footballing experience most of us endure in the next 30 days, but rather like most professional footballers, it would do better to focus more on its football than the surrounding pageantry - and on the pitch it can't even get the accents right. -
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Critic Score 30
The only redeeming quality is the echo of ambition that can be faintly heard in the ruins of execution. -
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Critic Score 30
What could have been a mildly enjoyable platform excursion swiftly degenerates into one of the worst adverts for motion control I've ever seen. Suffice to say, we won't be rushing out to check Mission 2. -
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Critic Score 30
The game's central conceit, which has you infiltrating giant towers with the aim of bringing them down from the inside, encourages uninspiring, repetitive internal environments, a problem the game's art team fails to overcome. -
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Critic Score 30
The idea of an interactive comic as narrative expansion is a sound one, but Ignition entirely fails to do the concept justice.- Posted Oct 21, 2010
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Critic Score 30
The idea of an interactive comic as narrative expansion is a sound one, but Ignition entirely fails to do the concept justice. -
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- Posted Nov 29, 2010
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Critic Score 30
Even Harry, Ron and Hermione's limp-wristed spell-casting animation looks half-hearted. It's an insult to the fiction, an insult to the increasingly good films, and an insult to bad videogames.- Posted Nov 19, 2010
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- Posted Nov 29, 2010
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Critic Score 30
Players wanting an exciting, fast-paced, on-rails light gun shooter on the Wii are far better served by SEGA's Ghost Squad and House of the Dead: Overkill. The developer's failure to fully embrace the arcade approach ensures this game serves no-one, least of all its tired licence.- Posted Nov 17, 2010
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Critic Score 30
No-one cared when this was released on PSP in summer 2009, and they certainly won't give a flying fig about it now.- Posted Dec 18, 2010
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Critic Score 30
FlingSmash's title might be short, snappy and to the point, but the game itself only manages the first of those three.- Posted Dec 19, 2010
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Critic Score 30
Another boarding game! And yes, it's just like Sonic Free Riders! Except Sonic and the stupid albatross have been replaced by a weird green wolf thing and an annoying surfer dude monkey. And the tracks aren't as good. And the power-ups are duller. And it looks horrible.- Posted Dec 19, 2010
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Critic Score 30
Hopefully this is the last we'll see of the human d-pad experiment. I spend enough time under the thumb as it is.- Posted Dec 21, 2010
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Critic Score 30
The mini-games do work, and if your idea of a good time is indeed struggling to put on clown make-up on or saw a virtual plank in half you might enjoy them. But I have no idea who you are.- Posted Dec 22, 2010
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Critic Score 30
Once the novelty of the game concept has worn off, which doesn't take long, the frustration caused by the controls really kicks in.- Posted Dec 22, 2010
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Critic Score 30
Offering all the satisfaction of flossing with overcooked spaghetti, FIFA 11 provides an object lesson in how not to make a football title for mobile platforms.- Posted Feb 12, 2011
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- Posted Feb 14, 2011
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Critic Score 30
We'd also like to point out that Sega has a whole stack of arcade games in its archives, and could have been a mite more generous than including just four in the package. One for obsessives only. -
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Critic Score 30
It wasn't appropriate to make a GBA Dynasty Warriors, and the inevitable disappointment of an already extremely tired series has been fully realised. -
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Critic Score 30
It's the shortest game ever, and that's not acceptable for a full price release. And no matter how 'pumped' we feel after playing it, it's a minigame. It should be a tenner - not forty quid. [Rating at £10 = 80] -
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Critic Score 30
The pointlessly respawning (and stubborn) enemies quickly become a tedious pain in the arse, the combat mechanics feel redundant, limited and stuck in the past, and the whole locked door/find key/backtrack game design feels utterly stale too. -
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Critic Score 30
If you harbour kleptomaniacal tendencies and find curvy polygons racier than we do, then the increasingly repetitive bouts of volleyball and weakness in the rest of the package won't bother you. -
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Critic Score 30
Yes it's simple and probably meant for kids, and you can get a small amount of fun out of Wrestlemania 21 for a relatively short period of time, but behind the shiny superstars it has a pork pie for a brain. That's the most positive thing we can say, sadly. -
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Critic Score 30
It's a mess of conflicting design elements, glitches and outdated film trivia, casually entertaining for about five minutes and tear-inducingly frustrating from there on out. It tries, clearly, but it fails on almost every count. -
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Critic Score 30
Just consider the gorgeous and stunning packages of Resident Evil, Maximo, Devil May Cry or Killer 7. How are we supposed to accept this unpleasant lump of gristle in comparison? -
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Critic Score 30
The simple, unpalatable, grisly truth for everyone connected to this important summer blockbusting title is that it's so far away from being the title it deserved to be, it could well be reflected upon as one of the biggest disappointments in the history of videogames. -
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Critic Score 30
It's such a shame that Nintendo - the creator of Mario Kart, which is arguably the most fun you can have with platonic friends - just can't seem to sort Mario Party's problems out, even for the seventh instalment in the series. Roll on number eight, eh. -
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Critic Score 30
If Mercenaries Vs was a basic online extra on a full-fledged mobile Resident Evil, you might forgive it, but as a standalone release it has no redeeming qualities. Come on Capcom, you can do better than this.- Posted Apr 25, 2011
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Critic Score 30
For those of us living in the now, it's joyless tat and should be smashed with hammers. Big ones.- Posted May 10, 2011
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- Posted May 13, 2011
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Critic Score 30
In the end, you feel every year of Duke Nukem Forever's ridiculous, fractured development seeping out of each unsatisfying frame.- Posted Jun 12, 2011
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Critic Score 30
The original Ape Escape was charming and innovative, but this entry is as basic as motion gaming gets. What really hurts is that there's no reason why Ape Escape couldn't have been the game to take the waggle genre to the next level, if only it had a bit more passion behind it.- Posted Jun 29, 2011
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Critic Score 30
Regardless of how great it was considered back then, Spelunker HD is the kind of shoddy remake best ignored. The download scene is hardly short of platforming fun, now is it?- Posted Jul 22, 2011
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Critic Score 30
Unless you're some kind of creepy time-rich retro masochist who actually enjoys having to start over from scratch every single time, Xevious is likely to provoke nothing but buyer's remorse.- Posted Jul 29, 2011
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Critic Score 30
As a relic to amuse your friends with it serves a purpose, but you could probably achieve the same result by visiting YouTube.- Posted Jul 29, 2011
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Critic Score 30
On the real-life TV programme, it's the usual kind of knockabout fun where not getting knocked into the water provides the goofy incentive. On the 360, though, most of the time is spent mangling yourself into forms that the Kinect sensor has rather too much trouble interpreting.- Posted Sep 2, 2011
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Critic Score 30
A visually stunning, dreadfully fussy and cruelly unsatisfying hardcore game - one that does very little indeed to reward the near-infinite levels of patience required to get anywhere close to the value of your time or money.- Posted Oct 28, 2011
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Critic Score 30
Like the best burgers, the best arcade games are simple, allowing us to enjoy the important flavours. BurgerTime World Tour is like a child sticking everything they can find between two halves of a bun, and then gorging on the resulting mess until they puke. Bon appetit.- Posted Nov 9, 2011
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Critic Score 30
A tiresome waste of a strong license, only the most blinkered fan will derive pleasure from this slog of an experience filled with wrong-headed design decisions intended to pad out a game that cannot sustain expansion.- Posted Feb 10, 2012
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- Posted Feb 22, 2012
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Critic Score 30
There's no excuse to the get the basics this wrong and there's no reason why slicing your way through a wall of enemies shouldn't be fun. Yet there's nothing that's fun here, only a monotonous bloody grind that copies everything from its peers except their polish.- Posted Apr 27, 2012
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Critic Score 30
From this point it's clear that in terms of being a shooter, 007 Legends is dismal - but in terms of being an actual James Bond game, it's a genuine insult.- Posted Oct 19, 2012
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Critic Score 30
If you're even slightly tempted, just remember that at the maelstrom's core is a very basic and ugly game made by a company that is both dishonest and incompetent. Combining disgraceful ethics with endemic failures of design, The War Z is a real disaster.- Posted Jan 2, 2013
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Critic Score 30
The systems that should have been its biggest draws are relegated to one-trick sideshows, while the majority of the game is just one dreary combat engagement after another.- Posted Jan 8, 2013
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Critic Score 30
I wouldn't give Strike Suit Zero to my dog - and he can't even play video games.- Posted Jan 23, 2013
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Critic Score 30
Oh, Haemimont. You've broken my heart...Omerta: City of Gangsters is patchy and clunky, but it's also dull and frustrating.- Posted Feb 1, 2013
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Critic Score 30
Even if it were polished to an acceptable, 2013-standard AAA shine, Colonial Marines would still only be a generic effort coasting on borrowed iconography. Weighed down by so many grindingly obvious mechanical issues, it never even gets off the ground. For a game all about exterminating bugs, it's a fatal irony.- Posted Feb 12, 2013
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Critic Score 30
There's a good game somewhere within Real Racing 3 - and there are plenty of free-to-play games that prove this model can work successfully while respecting the player. Firemonkeys, and perhaps more pertinently EA, have got that balance horribly, horribly wrong, to an extent where the business model becomes the game - with gut-wrenching results.- Posted Feb 28, 2013
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Critic Score 30
It's repetitive, disposable and artificially inflated. Most of all it's frustrating: frustrating because of the poor execution of a promising concept and because it's nowhere near the game that it could have been.- Posted Mar 8, 2013
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Critic Score 30
I expected better from Terminal Reality. Ghostbusters wasn't quite the real deal, but it suggested a studio that could go on to much better things - and then Kinect Star Wars, and now this. If you don't want The Walking Dead tarnished forever, then avoid Survival Instinct: it is simple hackwork, fan exploitation at its most crude.- Posted Apr 3, 2013
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Critic Score 20
Let's not beat about the bush and get straight to the obvious: Simpsons Skateboarding is diabolical... a cash-in in the purest sense of the term. -
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Critic Score 20
There are endless beat-'em-ups, platformers and third-person action adventures that do everything Crouching Tiger does infinitely better, and manage to make it fun while they're at it. -
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Critic Score 20
Feels like a total waste of time, and if we had any white boots right now we'd ram our studs through its rubbish cover so it could never bother us again. -
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Critic Score 20
The most striking thing about SOE2 is its tragic pointlessness. As a sequel in a franchise that is almost entirely unloved, in a world where there are countless games which do any part of this game better, it's sad to think that a group of people developed it, because then we'd have to blame them for putting out such a diabolical piece of cack. -
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Critic Score 20
A fundamentally broken game, riddled with graphical glitches and bizarre bugs, that doesn't even have the good grace to be a fascinating failure. For all its yelps and screeches, it's deathly dull to play and so there's no incentive to suffer its idiosyncrasies. -
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Critic Score 20
Perhaps it's because death is only a temporary setback that arbitrary cold-blooded massacres of innocents are met with a gaming blind eye. -
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Critic Score 20
Even if you loved the film, even if gullible children are tearfully begging you to buy them this game, even if there's been a nuclear holocaust and the only games to survive are this and "Army Men: Green Rogue"; please, just say No. -
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Critic Score 20
The controls are awful, the camera is beyond appalling, the graphics are hideous, the environments are bare, the gameplay is unbearably repetitive and the whole thing is an utter chore to play. -
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Critic Score 20
The dreaded bottom line is that we've seen it all before, and much, much better. -
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Critic Score 20
To describe what EA has produced here as dreadful would be to do a terrible disservice to things that merely inspire dread. -
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Critic Score 20
The DS's wireless abilities means that it's able to offer two-player mode on a handheld, which would be tremendous, if it didn't require two copies of the game to play. A ridiculous rip-off for a game nearly two decades old. -
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Critic Score 20
You'll hope developers like Amaze don't go within 100 miles of a movie license ever again, and pray that BVG has the good sense to try harder next time. Consider yourself warned. -
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Critic Score 20
The critical requirements of a Monster Rancher title, that monster-raising be streamlined and rewarding, and the RPG sections be challenging and playable, are miserably out of reach for Monster Rancher EVO, with almost every part of the title a confusing, tedious mess that should make the average player ill with boredom. -
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Critic Score 20
What should have been a dramatic return to form for Sonic, as signalled by the hugely promising trailer videos from earlier this year and the bold decision to use the original Sonic the Hedgehog name, has turned out to be an absolute mess. -
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Critic Score 20
Whoever, wherever, whatever you are, there is absolutely zero reason to own this atrocious excuse for a video game. -
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Critic Score 20
Aside from championship you get standard quick race, split-screen and time trial options, and Drift Combo, an incongruous, aggressively arcadey and frankly unplayable mode that challenges you to string long sequences of slides together. -
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Critic Score 20
A fundamentally broken game, riddled with graphical glitches and bizarre bugs, that doesn't even have the good grace to be a fascinating failure. For all its yelps and screeches, it's deathly dull to play and so there's no incentive to suffer its idiosyncrasies. -
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Critic Score 20
This is a poorly thought out, drab racer that might have been considered passable on mobiles but on dedicated games machines we deserve better. Don't buy this. Don't let anyone else buy this. Don't let the games industry know it's okay for them to port mobile phone games to superior hardware without upgrading them in any way. -
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Critic Score 20
Flushed Away is absolute toilet. Sorry, again (but not as sorry as anyone involved in making the game should be). -
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Critic Score 20
Eragon drags up torrid memories of the bad old days when movie licensed games were not only terrible games, but had sod-all to do with the subject matter. Judged on its own merits, it's clearly below par game in every single area imaginable. Technically bereft, poorly designed and coma-inducing to play, it's about as far away from being an example of where gaming is today as you can imagine. -
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Critic Score 20
The games are irritating and forgettable, the scoring system is bizarre, the play modes make no sense and the constantly shrill urban-cartoon-hipster presentation feels like some ninja chav just injected a pint of boiling hot Red Bull into your eyeballs. -
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Critic Score 20
It's pretty clear that Pimp My Ride is not aimed at us. And by "us" I mean "people who have at least a basic understanding of what makes a good game". It's the equivalent of a movie like Norbit or a TV show like...well, like Pimp My Ride. -
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Critic Score 20
Every aspect - from concept to execution - is so sorely flawed as to make even "GoldenEye: Rogue Agent" blush and to find a game so virtually meritless in this day and age is a rare thing indeed. -
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Critic Score 20
A sloppily-handled misfire that ruins the original's reputation. -
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Critic Score 20
The graphics are bland and stiff, the story is an absolute joke (the ending particularly so) and whatever depth the levelling system might offer requires acres of patience to unearth. -
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Critic Score 20
Terrible graphics and extremely limited interaction. Even my girlfriend, who normal gets obsessive about these sorts of pet games, lasted a day before she gave up. -
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Critic Score 20
With literally hundreds of better classic games out there to choose from, it's absolutely mystifying that something that's aged as badly as Yie Ar Kung-Fu can be held aloft as some sort of period piece worth re-investigating. -
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Critic Score 20
It's as if Pandemic's once shiny, happy puppy grew old and tired, as is the way of things, but then instead of being put down was handed over to a bunch of tramps. Who shaved all its hair off and fed it on Tesco Value Pilsner and let it get mange. It's time for THQ to get the shotgun. -
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Critic Score 20
The gameplay in Undercover: Dual Motives consists entirely of finding a thing, using it to do a thing, then having a conversation with someone who tells you you need to find another thing, and going to find the thing. There is no sense of suspense or mystery whatsoever. -
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Critic Score 20
I gave up after trying three of the six short races and the simple shooting and collecting mini-games. Life's too short. I'm never going back, and God forbid gathering people together for the multi-player mode. If the controls don't kill me, the irritating farting ditty in the background just might. That's the last time I play this dreadful excuse for a racing game. -
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Critic Score 20
It's not funny, it's not fun to play and it's less erotic than psoriasis. As the Smurfs would say: **** off, Larry. -
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Critic Score 20
Legendary is the gaming equivalent of cheap supermarket own-brand beans, but instead of costing eleven pence it costs the same as a prime steak cooked by a top chef. It's a bad, bad game. One of the worst I've played on this generation of consoles, in fact. In that regard, at least, the title is surprisingly accurate. -
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Critic Score 20
Seriously, it's hard to justify Bakushow in a world where Pictochat exists for free, as every critic in the world will probably point out. -
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Critic Score 20
And thanks to poor ball physics, the ball can quickly get stuck in a "loop" of identical bounces against indestructible blocks if you're unlucky. -
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Critic Score 20
AMF Bowling Pinbusters is like Wii Sports bowling only several thousand times less good. The game mechanics are awful and the presentation is a disgrace. -
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Critic Score 20
All quibbles about presentation and content aside, the game is simply incapable of delivering the sort of fluid gameplay the concept demands. -
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Critic Score 20
My wife insisted on having a play as she was intrigued by the idea, although after five short minutes she declared, "What the hell's the point of this?" and went back to playing The Sims 2. Which just about sums it all up, really. -
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Critic Score 20
Since you can pretty much exhaust the available gameplay within half an hour of switching the DS on, it seems likely that this curiously half-baked compilation was simply a way for Activision to use the Tony Hawk brand to get their motion sensing peripheral into the market. Yet so flimsy are the games that it feels like they simply bundled the internal tech demos designed to test the hardware and dressed it up as a commercial game. -
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Critic Score 20
People don't live in movie studios. They live in houses and flats that are lit for comfort, not to fulfill the technical requirements of an aging webcam. If you really want to put yourself and your friends on the TV, leave this failed experiment on the shelf, and put the money towards a digital camcorder instead. -
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Critic Score 20
Up against World at War, Killzone 2 and Halo 3, it's a complete joke. The worst FPS I've played since Turning Point: Fall of Liberty. -
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Critic Score 20
Game development has evolved to the point where it's pretty rare that a PS3 or Xbox 360 release is actually anything worse than mediocre, but Rogue Warrior is easily the worst game I've played on either platform for a long, long time. You could call it cheap, exploitative trash, but it's not actually that cheap, and the exploitation elements are probably the best thing it's got going for it. Trash though? Absolutely. -
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Critic Score 20
Were your movements less plodding, the weapons a bit meatier, the enemies even basically tactical, the story and dialogue more than perfunctory, the environments remotely imaginative, or the co-operative mode online-enabled, Terminator Salvation would still be far too rough around the edges, far too short, and far too cynical to withstand much critical inspection, but as it is, it's rubbish on virtually every count. -
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Critic Score 20
Were your movements less plodding, the weapons a bit meatier, the enemies even basically tactical, the story and dialogue more than perfunctory, the environments remotely imaginative, or the co-operative mode online-enabled, Terminator Salvation would still be far too rough around the edges, far too short, and far too cynical to withstand much critical inspection, but as it is, it's rubbish on virtually every count. -
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Critic Score 20
It's reminiscent of a browser game you'd click away from ten seconds after loading, or the kind of half-arsed demo that appeared on magazine coverdiscs in the early nineties. -
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Critic Score 20
Its skill system is like a twisted version of EVE Online's, without the intricacy or CCP's talent. Its mise-en-scène is somewhere between the grittiness of Conan and WAR's orcs and humans. Underneath the lack of originality, there's a hole where the game should be: a loose, incongruous mess of bad controls, horrible user interface, and broken combat system. -
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Critic Score 20
To be fair to publisher Rising Star, it does deserve tremendous credit for regularly bringing unheralded, obscure Asian titles to Europe. Sadly though, in the case of Ju-On: The Grudge, it has picked probably the most excruciatingly leaden survival-horror game of all time, and that took some doing. -
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Critic Score 20
Watchmen Part 2 therefore manages the rather impressive feat of actually being a worse game than its bone-headed predecessor. -
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Critic Score 20
The art style, character models and environments had the shonkiness of a shareware title at the time, so seeing them run in high definition is hardly going to help. Avoid, avoid, avoid. -
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Critic Score 20
By favouring tired run-and-gun scenarios over actual sniping gameplay, you're left with a technically inept entry in the most over-populated gaming genre around. Show some mercy, put one in the back of its head, and leave it for the vultures. -
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Critic Score 20
But the really depressing thing about PlayFirst's spirit-crushing little game is that it'll probably sell enough to result in a deluge of the bloody things, and force us to question the sanity of mankind. Again.- Posted Oct 22, 2010
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Critic Score 20
But the really depressing thing about PlayFirst's spirit-crushing little game is that it'll probably sell enough to result in a deluge of the bloody things, and force us to question the sanity of mankind. Again.- Posted Oct 22, 2010
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Critic Score 20
Perhaps Sports Island Freedom is best summed up by the person I forced to help me test out the multiplayer mode. His verdict, following several long minutes of tedious menu navigation and 48 seconds of gameplay: "What is the point of this? It is appalling."- Posted Dec 10, 2010
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Critic Score 20
To make matters worse, you get sent back to a tedious menu screen every single time you learn one of the hundreds of thousands of stupid moves.- Posted Dec 19, 2010
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Critic Score 20
But even if the controls did work properly, the level design and enemy AI are so stultifyingly generic that it feels like the last 12 years of game design didn't happen.- Posted Dec 25, 2010
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Critic Score 20
I'm all for artistic-minded developers that push the boundaries of convention and dare to try new things - I just want to be entertained along the way. Is that too much to ask?- Posted Jan 28, 2011
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Critic Score 20
You might somehow eke a crumb of satisfaction out of discovering new weapons, but the chances are it'll just make you want to boot up the real thing on a home console. The sooner this stench of mobile putrefaction is buried out of sight, the happier we'll all be.- Posted Feb 1, 2011
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Critic Score 20
Even the most ardent JRPG fan will baulk at the roughshod simplicity of the game's systems, restricting the game's audience to Japanophile anime fans who can overlook the experiences shortcomings as a videogame and approach it as a cultural curio. That is, a sexist, senseless and ultimately stupid cultural curio.- Posted Mar 8, 2011
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Critic Score 20
Dogz isn't just a poor man's "Nintendogs" - it's a fundamentally rubbish game, regardless of the competition. Put simply, there's just not enough to do, and it's so repetitive that it's hard to see how even very young children could be entertained for more than half an hour or so. -
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Critic Score 20
A total dud. There is nothing here that I wouldn't rather do with my PC thanks to a combination of poor feature quality, crap interface, storage limitations, stunted functionality and - let's bring something else into the equation - an hilariously optimistic price. -
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Critic Score 20
The designers didn't love this game, they just threw together poorly understood ideas from other games like "Halo" and "Half-Life" so that the management chimps responsible for the project could be satisfied that it was ripping off popular products. -
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Critic Score 20
The controls are awful, the camera is beyond appalling, the graphics are hideous, the environments are bare, the gameplay is unbearably repetitive and the whole thing is an utter chore to play. -
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Critic Score 20
The controls are awful, the camera is beyond appalling, the graphics are hideous, the environments are bare, the gameplay is unbearably repetitive and the whole thing is an utter chore to play. -
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Critic Score 20
You'll flail your way half-heartedly through a miserable procession of encounters, against enemies that seem as thrilled to be there as you. In between, you'll weave through generic platform negotiation sections, before inevitably being forced to dispatch another prescribed gaggle of bored foes and, gasp, maybe a boss.- Posted Jul 15, 2011
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Critic Score 20
The sooner Gameloft stops wasting its considerable resources making console-lite games and starts figuring out how to make the most out of mobile platforms, the better. Like 9mm, Silent Ops is gaming at its most clueless and uninspired.- Posted Aug 8, 2011
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Critic Score 20
As a game, though, it's so cripplingly inane it makes me want to eat my own teeth and replace them with sweetcorn prongs.- Posted Sep 16, 2011
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Critic Score 20
Amy fails on all counts. It's plagued by jerky movement, poor scripting, weak puzzles and shoddy checkpointing, but it's also a characterless mess of themes and ideas swiped from a dozen better horror titles. Neither quirky enough to be forgiven its unfinished feel nor polished enough to satisfy the base gaming itch, Amy is a crushing disappointment with little to recommend it.- Posted Jan 11, 2012
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Critic Score 20
Anything that was good about Dead Island has been crudely ripped out, and whatever remains has been served up in such a way that it simply isn't fun, even at the basic "look at me, I'm killing zombies" level.- Posted Feb 3, 2012
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Critic Score 20
The Eternity Clock is shambolic and underfed, even by the Timelord's previous low gaming standards.- Posted May 28, 2012
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Critic Score 20
Archaic and lethargic, The Expendables 2 seems far more likely to break a hip than a sweat.- Posted Aug 3, 2012
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Critic Score 10
Horrendously bad. It makes you realise how spoilt we are with modern masterpieces like "Raven Shield," which combine realistic counter-terrorism with addictive gameplay and produce enjoyable scenarios for single and multiple players. -
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Critic Score 10
If you have a flagrant disregard for your sanity, your bank balance and enjoy the kind of masochistic self flagellation that true weirdos get up to in the privacy of their own home, then by all means pop down to your local gaming emporium and pick up Rise of the Machines and remind yourself how good all the other games in your collection are by comparison. -
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Critic Score 10
If you fancy the beautiful Christmas garlands or a customisable snowman or a Christmas tree... well, why not just head over to the Sims 2 site and download them. They've been up there for a year, after all. No, I'm not joking. -
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Critic Score 10
This PS2 incarnation of the cross-platform offence is entirely without worth. It's agony in 1s and 0s. Don't even touch your bargepole with a bargepole. -
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Critic Score 10
It is broken in the literal sense of not working as sold and, as such, must be scored appropriately. That the game underneath the bodged localisation is also, figuratively, a broken shell of what it once was and absolutely nowhere near as good as it should have been, is more than anything, deeply, deeply sad. -
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Critic Score 10
Even with expectations duly lowered to allow for the usual make-do approach taken to most licensed kids games, the sheer hideousness of this title still crept up and sucker-punched me right in the soul. There's not a single element of this game that is fun, even in the most tangential use of the term. -
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Critic Score 10
Settlers II is a great game. A classic. This version isn't. It's a travesty, and one that should never have been released. Without the fatal bugs it'd be a disappointing put passable conversion but you can't play a game not knowing when or if the game will actually work the way it's supposed to, or if saving your progress will cause it to crash. -
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Critic Score 10
It's the worst-looking Wii game I've ever played and frankly that takes some effort. It's no fun to play either. -
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Critic Score 10
The Game Party experience is like going to a party where there's nothing to drink but Tesco Value brandy and there are only four other guests and they're all racist and then your ex turns up and gets off with a Danish supermodel. Would you pay GBP 19.99 to go to that party? -
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Critic Score 10
Ninjabread Man lasted half an hour. HALF AN HOUR. Three levels down and I was booted straight back to the main menu without fanfare. I thought I'd pressed the Quit button by mistake... Half an hour and one hundred percent done. -
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Critic Score 10
On the plus side, there is single-card download play for wireless "fun" with up to four players. On the down side, if we really want to tell up to four friends that we despise them and never wish to suffer their company ever again, we can think of more direct ways to do so. -
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Critic Score 10
Go away, George of the Jungle, and die horribly in a fire. -
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Critic Score 10
SPOGS Racing at least gets the honour of being the worst game on WiiWare. It looks awful and it plays even worse. It's the most inept game I've played on any format, in any genre, in recent memory. -
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Critic Score 10
Had this been offered as a free (or at least dirt-cheap) bonus download for Pokémon DS owners, the sweet graphics and empty-headed concept might have been charming. At the same price point charged for the sublime "LostWinds" it's a brazen insult, and marks a new low in the exploitation of the Pokémon brand. -
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Critic Score 10
Possibly the worst videogame Nintendo has had the misfortune to publish. Avoid at all costs; this is disgracefully bad. -
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Critic Score 10
That almost all of these 11 games look like tired also-rans merely compounds the feeling that this is one of the most cynical cash-in releases ever conceived. Avoid. -
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Critic Score 10
It is not bad in the way that a game like Boiling Point is bad, where things coalesce into a kind of awful greatness. This is a tacky and technically incompetent production with no redeeming features whatsoever, devoid of fun and an insult to the name it bears. Flatout once burned bright, but now is gone - and if there is a driving hell, this is surely it.- Posted Jan 5, 2012
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Critic Score 10
With no meaningful play mechanics and no structure beyond the one dictated by the storefront, Ghostbusters is little more than a Pavlovian machine designed to suck money out of your account a few pence at a time. There's a world of difference between a game that uses micro-payments and a micro-payment model that is simply delivered in the guise of a game. If Ghostbusters has any value at all, it's as an illustration of this important point.- Posted Feb 18, 2013
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