The simplified controls, which work with a very minimal interface, won't stymie anyone without RPG experience. But the absence of story and strategy will. This is a game best played on autopilot, if you have to play it at all.

Hard Evidence is so fast there’s something satisfying in flying through a game in one sitting, especially considering you’ll probably unlock all 1,000 Achievement points along the way just for staying on task.

Don’t bother with this title unless you love the idea of playing an interactive commercial for Ford Motors.

The presentation of Project Poseidon also leaves much to be desired, with awkward and simplistic texturing, not to mention some downright asinine vocals.

More than anything, Astro Boy is a great surprise for what many would assume is simply some child’s Christmas present. The Astro Boy coating is there so kids ask mommy and daddy to spend their holiday bonuses on it, but High Voltage Software felt nice enough to sneak in a fun game too. It’s like the whiskey Grandpa adds to the eggnog.

Like a trip to a natural history museum. It's empty and nostalgic, meticulous and dated. More importantly, it's hands-off. Like a museum, Colonial Marines is at its best when you're admiring the view. The moment you attempt to reach out to interact you're met with a barrier, reminding you that you're there to look, not to touch.

As it is, it's the core of a good game that pops in and out of the consciousness without leaving a lasting impression.

The purchase of a Wii does not waive our right to expect a game that looks like it was designed in this millenium. What you have here is a slightly enhanced, magnified, PSP port.

At the end of the day, even if there is the chance you might manage to eke out some meager enjoyment from collecting coins, whipping Rita's bungee cord and Roddy's rolling attacks, it's impossible to justify paying anything near full price for this game.

Download the tunes and skip everything else.

Eragon's redundancy and simplicity just offers too few reasons to keep playing.

For around 20 bucks you get a perfectly reasonable shooter, with a streamlined command system that actually works well. Although we’d still recommend getting a cheap copy of one of the various Conflict games instead.

The Fight: Lights Out has very few redeeming qualities, none of which involve playing it, and it should be avoided at all costs. Don't play this game.

We advise you to save your sanity and leave Atlantis at the bottom of the ocean.

Card Fighters DS is a sequel that does not, for one moment, understand why anyone liked its predecessor.

It’s sad to watch a once-proud franchise struggle...It is, literally, the same exact game as MLB 2K12 with updated rosters, schedules, and uniforms.

We hate ripping on something that's such an earnest effort, but the stark reality is that Rock of the Dead was released in the wrong way at the wrong price with nowhere near enough complexity to justify its length.

It's dull, with rare moments of huge reward, and the only game it's competing with in the graphics department came out about 10 years ago, but it is not poorly designed.

Of course, if eye candy, implied promiscuity, and becoming a rock star do happen to be your cup of tea, you'll certainly find Miami Nights much more engaging than the typical social sim.

The Cartel has some interesting ideas behind it. However, too many of them are dependent on co-op, and even with them, long stretches of the game feel like boring, soulless slogs. More damagingly, the charm and sense of fun from the earlier games is largely gone, replaced with what appears to be a desire to ape the low-fi look and grittiness of Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days.

You've got one track, a small assortment of vehicles, stupid opponents, an antique setting, and little variety. Unless you're a historian of racing, better leave this one in the garage.

We know that plenty of people will look past the monotonous gameplay, poor voice acting, unimaginative level design, lack of online play, etc., but our advice is to hold out for the next movie.

You know the drill: games based on movies tend to bite.

The graphics are fair, but like the fighting, they grow redundant too quickly, and the story couldn't get the game noticed even if it were drunk, topless, and the only woman in a bar full of sailors.

A lethal combination of clunky menus, lack of guidance, and general tedium combine to make Front Office Manager a dud.

The cases aren't terribly creative and the dialogue is often flat and poorly translated from the original Japanese. You'll also likely love or hate the atmosphere - Jake is the stereotypical gritty, film noir-type private eye, with all the trenchcoats, dames, and languidly rising smoke that entails. Cliché, or classic? You decide.

It's impossible to recommend Venetica to anyone when there are so many other better action-RPGs out there. You might be tempted to pick it up because it's only forty dollars, but don't do it... unless you've already played every other RPG on the market.

Devotees of this universe's mix of fantasy staples and steampunk gadgetry might find themselves unable to resist Mage Knight: Apocalypse's dubious lure, and may even enjoy the game's character-building freedom if an effective patch comes along, but they aren't likely to stay enamored for long when this holiday season's bigger and better RPG offerings finally appear.

Stronghold 3 is a bizarre third outlier, clinging to an aging formula but making changes that actually feel like a step back. The real crime here isn't that Stronghold 3 is a bad game, it's the disservice done to a series that has provided so much joy in the past, ruining our nostalgia. Somewhere, a child in a tree fort is weeping.

From the very start of the game, it becomes quickly apparent that Rush'N Attack has nowhere to go but down. The visuals are ugly and look dated, it borrows the majority of its concepts from other better games and it simply is no fun to play.

There's arguably some creativity in the souls-as-power-ups bit, but having to switch into spirit mode, grab the proper color orb (assuming the tapping works; it's erratic), and sling it at DJ's feet in order to heal is a cumbersome chore.

Lastly, and perhaps most tragically, the PlayStation 2 comes with full voiceover work for all the characters. You might think this would be a good thing – but Zak repeats his exclamations over new Cryptids so often, you find yourself wanting to choke him, and some of the subtitles appear as placeholder text. Party foul.

In the end, despite the inkling that the designers had a couple of good ideas rattling around in there somewhere, Winter Voices simply fails to be much fun. Perhaps later iterations in the series will polish the AI, make combat more exciting, and fix the writing… but we doubt it.

An aggressively mediocre FPS. Any decent ideas suffer from bad design decisions, and so the shallow multiplayer is a hollow experience that even the most hardcore Frank Castle follower will want to skip.

Kids probably won't mind much, and they're definitely the target audience here. Pirates' Carnival isn't spectacular in any one sense, but the solid mini-games and well-used license are enough to put it near the top of the distinctly uncompetitive party game genre.

Sonic Free Riders can offer some real fun when everything comes together and works properly but those instances are rare and the rest of the time the game can be very frustrating. The lack of content also makes it quite a steep purchase.

Spectral Souls is a true sob story. There's a perfectly serviceable game here, buried underneath one crucial problem.

Even the multiplayer comes up short by supporting just four players, though we assume the game would likely collapse upon itself if tasked with anything more. It's a shame to see such a sloppy effort from a stellar independent studio.

A textbook example of how to screw up a sure thing, the Nintendo DS version of LEGO Star Wars II is easily the 'must avoid' release of the year. Other systems get a stylistically pure and super fun title. Meanwhile, the DS is saddled with a buggy, incomplete letdown that wastes your money and good will, deeply tarnishing LucasArts' reputation.

Some boss battles are absolutely thrilling, and the plot, while somewhat convoluted, definitely feels like a proper X-Men story, but the dull, monotonous battles and lack of polish hamstring the game.

While games like "Time Pilot" aged gracefully, this side-scrolling space shooter feels old and inflexible, a crusty gaming battleship dragged out of drydock. All you can do is stare and go, "Wow, that's old."

If you don't have a multiplayer posse, you're left with a functional, but easy and uninspired PSP game that's functional without being pretty.

This is a true classic - it just isn't a lot of fun to play.

We'll give Major Minor's Majestic March credit for a creative concept, but this middling rhythm routine should have been a WiiWare release or half-priced budget title. And until the latter occurs, we can't help but think you'd be better off marching to your own beat.

In the end, it’s a cool experiment, but it quickly goes horribly wrong.

The Hustle might aim to be an affordable budget diversion, but even a bargain price can't make this deeply flawed game worth buying.

While the graphics are not as shiny and sleek as the cars are in real life, and there are no damage affects, this game is great for its price. You can’t find a better deal on a new game; 20 dollars for all these options and challenges should be considered grand theft video game.

While annoying, the lock-ups don't really do much to dampen how outlandishly fun the game is. If you like the Hulk and you enjoying destroying things, you'll enjoy your time with The Incredible Hulk, even if you have to reset the system from time to time.

The lousy last-gen graphics murder what compelling plot there is.

Every installment has us hoping for a return to glory, but each one further craps on the hedgehog's legacy. The redeeming qualities here are few and far between, and it's just plain not fun.

The resulting storyline isn't quite Final Fantasy quality by any means, but series devotees will find plenty to admire here. Still, given the constant interruption for battles and the heinous dungeon layouts, we suspect that none but the most devoted fans of the series will care.

There's no good reason to have this game in your home.

Solo gamers will find very little in the campaign to keep them interested for long, but the title is at its best when you're playing it with friends. If you can pick it up at a discount, and can round up a couple of people together for a gaming session, you'll be in for a riotous time, but there are better options on the system to get your multiplayer fix.

Plays more like a kind of arcade light-gun shooter with legs, and feels like it needed a better script and about six more months of development time.

This is a game you should get free when you buy a bright orange hunting hat. It might offer a brief, quick killin' fix for some hunter-gamers, but won't offer much in terms of videogaming satisfaction, delicious meat or hours of fresh air.

We liked the setting, liked the gameplay but ultimately there wasn't enough to keep it in our console for a very long time.

Ultimately, everything in ToL can be learned and mastered in a matter of hours, which is perfect because that's about the maximum amount of time it can be fun for.

The worst thing is, there was tremendous potential here. The art style is fantastic, and the campy, B-movie concept is golden. And the way you make new weapons out of garbage you find – sticks, needles, broken shards of glass – is really fun. But once you add the gameplay in there, ugggh. Mushrooms grow where living things have died – in this case, the underlying corpse belonged to fun.

Without the AI and stealth problems, it might be a decent, if extremely derivative, shooter. As it is now, you're better off skipping this one.

Ghostbusters: SOS will break you down, challenging your patience and your goodwill toward the franchise. Even if you're a diehard Ghostbusters fan, don't let yourself be duped: this game is a waste of your $10.

There's not nearly enough meat on its bones to warrant a stand-alone game, even mercifully priced $20 less than most new next-gen releases. Frankly, it belongs as a mini-game in Madden.

Chances are that your average Joe Racer won’t be able to make heads or tails of D1, as mastering the punishing controls may lead to insane rage.

Three or four years ago, this game would have been brilliant. Unfortunately the unexciting combat, ho-hum level design, and unimpressive graphics make it a poor alternative to the more recent champions of the hack and slash genre.

Bond's latest shooter is barely kept afloat throughout the five-hour-long campaign, but while it has a smattering of good ideas, they're buried beneath concepts so tired, you'll have a hard time caring. It's a game filled with occasional highs and frequent lows--and you'll be thrown between them so quickly and haphazardly that you'll be lucky to make it through 007 Legends without whiplash.

We know that plenty of people will look past the monotonous gameplay, poor voice acting, unimaginative level design, lack of online play, etc., but our advice is to hold out for the next movie.

Mr. Driller on Live Arcade also marks the first time players can go online and compete or cooperate in a couple of different gaming modes. Unfortunately, as of this writing, the online play is spotty at best, suffering from lag and other issues to the point that it’s unplayable most of the time.

Realistic? Yes. Fun? Not one bit. What's worse is that you have to sit and listen to the other fake players talk smack at the tables with the same four lines of speech. You'll be wise to quickly run to the Options menu and turn the sound off.

Its slow-paced combat and exploration, weak visuals, and plodding plot leave a lot to be desired.

We fall in the middle of the two camps and found Troy a welcome, but ultimately underwhelming attempt to evolve the franchise beyond its thumb-numbing roots. If Koei Canada can further refine the combat, add some multi-player - this game screams for co-op - and polish up the presentation, we're willing to plunge our bloody sword into a sequel.

State of Emergency 2 deserves a spot right next to 25 To Life, 187: Ride or Die, and Final Fight Streetwise as another title that's an urban nightmare for all the wrong reasons. Stop buying them, and hopefully they'll go away.

This is the absolute nadir of the series. Harry Potter has finally devolved into a total cash-in and we can't score it low enough. Honestly, if you're a fan of the movies, avoid this and just go to the theater. Don't spoil the end for yourself with this half-baked mess.

An interesting blast from the past, but much like the visuals of the original film, it really doesn’t hold up over time.

Only fans of the classic genre will really find much to get excited over in The Sacred Rings. The story is forgettable, the characters are lame, but the puzzles are definitely challenging.

This game might be worth a few bucks on your iPhone, but not forty bucks on your 3DS. This title is so easy, uncomplicated, and unexciting that we can't recommend it for anyone.

Between these random inadequacies and the shabby controls, there's just not enough reason for non-hardcore Godzilla fans to bother with this. Too bad. The King of the Monsters deserves better.

This is middle of the road gaming at its finest. Ultimately, Beowulf won't entertain the average gamer, but fans of the film might want to rent it to play while they're waiting on line to see the movie for the ninth time.

Destined to line bargain bin bottoms. It has its hacking and slashing moments, but like so many movie-licensed titles, it reeks of a truncated production schedule and a too-heavy reliance on a story intended for another medium.

It’s a sound idea that’s torpedoed by poor design and bad play mechanics.

We’ve seen some competent shooters on the DS in the past, but C.O.R.E. barely fits the “competent” category. It works (more or less), and some will enjoy it, but its flaws are just too frustrating. With several other, better FPSes already on the DS, there just isn't much reason to go for C.O.R.E.

The graphics are fair, but like the fighting, they grow redundant too quickly, and the story couldn't get the game noticed even if it were drunk, topless, and the only woman in a bar full of sailors.

I know I sound mad when I say the lack of content doesn't kill it, but it truly doesn't. I can tell I'm going to be coming back to this for months, even without the extra tracks. This is a surprisingly fun game and I'm glad it exists. Good ol' Ridge Racer.

Ultimately, it’s a niche title that won’t bring any new fans to the cycling table - and doesn’t even try to.

Enemy AI is dim as hell (foes will often run right by you to attack a comrade as you shoot them in the back of the head at point blank range), the wonky cover system often has you shooting bullets into nothingness even when it appears they should be hitting your targets, and there's no way to pause the game.

In the end, it’s a cool experiment, but it quickly goes horribly wrong.

To be fair, there’s also a sandbox-like, “just suck it all up” mode that unlocks when you’ve beaten each level, as well as a two-player versus mode that finds you racing to suck things up or change the color of crystals (which earned it a bonus point in our score below). But Tornado still just doesn’t have the suction to hold us for long.

Turning Point's minimalist approach to everything - from its stale levels and sticky controls to its thin plot and absent character development - killed what could've been a really unique and engaging shooter and will disappoint hardcore fans of the genre across the board.

See, as the puzzles get bigger, you're actually forced to scroll them onto the screen, which will slow you down even more. Save your $10 for something more worthwhile. This isn't even a decent time-waster.

Fans of the series might find it entertaining to rescue kidnapped kids while battling the Seven Demon Kings, but most people will find precious little to enjoy.

It's possible Armored Core 3 may well have offered something during the PS2 generation, but whatever relevance it might've had seven years ago - especially given its inelegant transition to the PSP - has long since passed.

We might be able to forgive the game its sin of unoriginality and consumer whoring, but we can’t forgive them for taking the fun out of shaving a sheep. Tacked-on, twitchy controls; lousy graphics and all-round dull gameplay fraught with mindless minigames tank any hope a would-be virtual farmer might have of actually having fun on a farm.

While we're pleasantly surprised with Flushed Away, that doesn't mean it ignores all of the typical problems for licensed games made on the quick. The camera is pretty crazy at times (especially when you're attempting to control it, oddly enough), and the controls are awkward.

One more thing: the swearing. Normally we don't mind, but the script for Streetwise sounds like it was written by a grade-schooler who'd just discovered cursing. Obscene language is overused to the point where the effect isn't gritty at all. In fact, it's just laughable.

Every installment has us hoping for a return to glory, but each one further craps on the hedgehog's legacy. The redeeming qualities here are few and far between, and it's just plain not fun.

So the mechanics, narrative, and modes are poorly executed, but the very concept of a mobster strategy/tactics game can’t be denied. It’s a fantastic idea, and the novelty of feeling sort-of-almost-not-really like a mob boss will make the game enjoyable on occasion. Unfortunately, there’s not much here beyond a concept that you can only hope someone, someday will make a great game out of.

We jumped online on several occasions and it appears there are so few people playing online that we found the same dudes in a lobby on totally different nights. It’s little wonder though why there are so few soldiers playing; in this game, being a soldier sucks.

Can’t Sega even be bothered to finish making the game before trying to pawn it off on us? Placeholder graphics, unfinished textures and sloppy physics are just a few of the sadistic treats this game has to offer - and the suck doesn’t stop there.

We suspect that control scheme would work better if it emulated that found in games like Robotron 2084 or Geometry Wars - though that wouldn't be as authentic, it could make Tron a fantastic Live Arcade game. But as it is, this just doesn't work.

The only way you'd really want to play this game is if you're a diehard fan of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and The Flash and you don't mind beating up stupid robots for hours on end in dull levels.

It's a £39.99 inferior remix of a £2.99 iPhone game with bad sound, bad graphics and shockingly slapdash collision logic. Not only is it the worst game of the 3DS' launch line-up, it's a contender for the title of 'worst launch game of all time'. Worse than Pen Pen. Worse than Tama. Worse even than Altered Beast. Do I really need to say it? Avoid.

The DS version is by far the worst iteration of the bunch, which is sad considering none of them are that great.

We're not decrying simplicity as a general design element, but too many of the included games feel tossed together, while the few notable ones offer only seconds of unique play.

Enemy AI is dim as hell (foes will often run right by you to attack a comrade as you shoot them in the back of the head at point blank range), the wonky cover system often has you shooting bullets into nothingness even when it appears they should be hitting your targets, and there's no way to pause the game.

From a gameplay perspective, Star Trek is hindered by its unpolished character animations, clunky controls, and repetitive hacking minigames. While it can be entertaining to experience the return of the movie's cast to their roles as the beloved Star Trek characters, it's difficult to get past the gameplay's shortcomings.

It's impossible to recommend Venetica to anyone when there are so many other better action-RPGs out there. You might be tempted to pick it up because it's only forty dollars, but don't do it... unless you've already played every other RPG on the market.

One of the shortest full-price console games in our memory. Despite impeccable voicework, the subpar visuals and dreadful combat controls forced us to dump it unceremoniously under a bridge in Jersey - never to be spoken of again.

We really, really wanted to like BCFX, as the idea of any kind of competition for EA’s NCAA monopoly is music to our ears. Sadly, BCFX simply isn’t anywhere near ready for the big time.

From the dysfunctional camera to the bland and uninspired combat, it's an absolute chore to play through this game. It doesn't matter how great it looks on the outside - Bloodforge is rotten at its core.

The art design is solid, though technologically, the graphics don't impress at all. At press-time, the chat is nightmarish, and the user interface a pale shadow of other MMOs' well thought systems.

Our disgust was solidified near the end of the six-hour campaign, as the PS2 version's final boss fight is astonishingly cut short to insert an hour-plus of new fetch quests. We understand padding the game a bit, but lazily dumping these bland challenges within seconds of what should have been the conclusion shows a total disregard for the players who slogged through hours of sloppy programming to get to that point. And if the developer doesn't care, neither should we.

Turning Point's minimalist approach to everything - from its stale levels and sticky controls to its thin plot and absent character development - killed what could've been a really unique and engaging shooter and will disappoint hardcore fans of the genre across the board.

Though it starts out with what appears to be grand narrative ambitions, Clan of Champions quickly abandons any pretext that it's anything more than a brawler with robust customization options. More variety and ambition would've been nice, but Clan of Champions is still worth a look if your inner warrior has been feeling neglected.

As a final insult, some players are experiencing game-killing programming bugs that lock doors or remove crystals, making it literally impossible to complete the game. That is inexcusable.

Rock Revolution is inferior to its competition in every single possible way. If you absolutely have to try it, we urge you to think of it as a track pack of guitar-only songs for Rock Band or Guitar Hero and buy just the game (instead of the drums-included bundle).

If you have some disease that forces you to buy everything green and ninja-like, go for it. But then get help, man - digging this disaster is the gaming equivalent of eating donuts out of the garbage can; it just isn't healthy.

Xiaolin Showdown is a bad game, plain and simple. In a genre where speed and chaos is an important part of gameplay, Xiaolin Showdown’s fights are out and outright tedious.

Our main problem with History Great Empires: Rome is that the historic elements are only surface level and the strategy elements aren’t much deeper than that.

It could have been a contender, but The Science of Evil is merely above average, and leaves a sour reminder that the cynicism we harbor toward licensed games isn’t exclusive to the people playing them. It’s a real shame.

To make matters worse, Iron Man 2 can be shockingly ugly at times, especially in the cut-scenes, which spotlight terrible effects, fuzzy and slow-loading textures, and choppy animations.

The biggest trouble of all is that Khemia borrows too much from earlier Gust games.

While Crash & Dash may look like a racing game, it’s really more of a party game in a racer’s clothing. It has a few moments of fun, but is plagued by its dreary, repetitive minigames, questionable controls, and fundamental lack of strategy.

Without addictive, refined gameplay in its short-lived play sessions or a worthwhile single-player experience, Puzzle de Harvest Moon comes across as a glorified minigame.

The soundtrack is a shocking state of affairs, the cars sounding how you think mud would sound if it could talk and in the background is a Europop house soundtrack.

The lousy racing also means that the reasonably attractive graphics go to waste, and that the only one of the middling engine sounds you’ll want to hear is your own, cooling down. At least the atrocious techno music is easily silenced.

WWII Aces is a decent title that is meant to be played cooperatively. So long as you have another friend close by, the $40 shouldn't sting your wallet too much.

You'd think slamming shells the size of watermelons into heavily armed rolling metal fortresses would be hard to botch, but Tank Beat digs a design rut too deep for even the most ardent artillery lover to climb out of.

And with only average graphics and no multiplayer modes to look forward to, the action quickly grows as old and moldy as the skeletons you're bashing through.

The cities are huge and beautiful, with country-appropriate cars, and while the gameplay is muddy, it’s easy to see how it could have been better. But as it is, DRIV3Ris all flash and little substance.

Screwjumper is another one of those Live Arcade games that feels more like it should be a bonus mission in a more fully-realized title. And not a very good bonus mission, at that.

We can’t think of any good reason to spend time with Eureka 7 Vol. 2. Even if the story intrigues you, you’ll have to suffer through the rest of the game to see it. It’s just not worth it.

Steel Horizon is its own poorly constructed ship, and unless you’re the captain - which you’re not - then abandon ship. Or, better yet, don’t even get on.

It tries to blend the ideas of its predecessor with arcade sensibilities, and the outcome is a painful punch to the face you have to pay for.

But, if you're buying this game because you honestly think it's going to make you smarter, it won't. And if you're buying this game because you actually think it's going to be fun, it isn't. That's really the bottom line.

If you don't care how broken and rudimentary this game is as long as it's like the show, you're going to be in a fury in no time.

Even the multiplayer comes up short by supporting just four players, though we assume the game would likely collapse upon itself if tasked with anything more. It's a shame to see such a sloppy effort from a stellar independent studio.

If your biggest complaint about previous such entries is that they didn't include horseback riding, hang gliding or skiing, then MotionSports might get you in front of the TV for a weekend of flawed fun. Otherwise, we suggest leaving this one on the sidelines.

The biggest problem with Acme Arsenal is that it doesn’t contain an inkling of the depth on display in the classic cartoons its levels attempt to emulate.

Its biggest flaw is that it lacks spirit, which is ironic, since the game is actually trying to take your character's soul. Without a spark, though - even a stolen one - The Cursed Crusade has ended up damning itself.

A fair package for puzzle fans, but don't think for a minute that gamers who don't already dig sudoku are going to play this and join the numbers in boxes movement.

The game follows a simple beat 'em up formula that will keep you entertained for awhile, but it lacks so much of the depth and creativity that we expect from the comics and movies.

Ultimately, the repetitive gameplay and limited scope show this old mech could use a tad more oil.

Turning Point's minimalist approach to everything - from its stale levels and sticky controls to its thin plot and absent character development - killed what could've been a really unique and engaging shooter and will disappoint hardcore fans of the genre across the board.

Online minigames and a decent selection of cars don’t save Pocket Racers from being one of the worst rubber-burners on Sony’s portable system.

But, if you're buying this game because you honestly think it's going to make you smarter, it won't. And if you're buying this game because you actually think it's going to be fun, it isn't. That's really the bottom line.

None of the key features really hold up compared to other shooters, save for the appearance of Seth McFarlane and his crew of writers and actors. Even then, this would have made for a weakly written episode of the show. If it were down to a night with your buddies in front of the TV with a few drinks, then it would make for an alright rental.

Heavy Fire: Afghanistan is a game that really wants to be Call of Duty on rails, but it simply lacks the budget and creative license to pull any of it off. The game is just a cheap cash grab in every sense of the word. Even the most hardened on-rails gamers will find little to show for their tour in Afghanistan other than a severe case of PTSD.

Repetition, repetition, repetition.

Quite fittingly, Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad is gaming's equivalent of a cheesy B-movie. Sure, the production values stink, but for anyone with a fetish for zombies and/or samurai bikini cowgirls covered in blood, it's worth a few bucks. Rest assured, though, we won't judge as we had a bit of guilty fun ourselves.

This is a game you should get free when you buy a bright orange hunting hat. It might offer a brief, quick killin' fix for some hunter-gamers, but won't offer much in terms of videogaming satisfaction, delicious meat or hours of fresh air.

Turn It Around just mixes too much frustration mixed in with the fun. Screw this. Wheel of Fortune's on.

If you're going to make a game with ninjas and dragons, it better be larger than a mountain and a couple of rock textures.

Repetition, repetition, repetition.

This is what happens when games go bad... then worse... then are given to another developer to do a sequel in half the time and with a fourth of the budget. This one should have committed the ol' seppuku long ago.

Rock Revolution is inferior to its competition in every single possible way. If you absolutely have to try it, we urge you to think of it as a track pack of guitar-only songs for Rock Band or Guitar Hero and buy just the game (instead of the drums-included bundle).

You’ll need the patience of Buddist monk to progress through the archaic Quest mode without consistently resorting to a cheap “Ring Out.”

Garbage.

Left Behind: Eternal Forces just doesn't play very well. As exciting and even (for at lot of folks, at least) uplifting as some of the content could be, it just doesn't move quickly enough or play smoothly enough to compete with the other, more gameplay focused titles in the admittedly more worldly marketplace.

But if you're looking for a fresh new take on the old, bubble-blowing action you remember so fondly, Bubble Bobble Revolution just plain blows.

Garbage.

If the GameCube could handle Metroid Prime's environments and beasties so beautifully, there's no reason the superior Wii can't deliver a first-person shooter worth remembering. Unfortunately, Far Cry Vegeance sure as hell isn't it.

The developers opted instead for run-of-the-mill hack-and-slash game mechanics, and so they turned out a game that incorporates very little of what makes the system so enticing in the first place.

If they had translated the aura of the film through more creative means in the actual gameplay and story, like they did with the art, instead of just recycling old dialogue and tossing in generic mini-games, Napoleon Dynamite: The Game might have been more of a success. As it is, however, we recommend staying far, far away.

You can disrupt the opponent while they “think” about their shot – it’s a nice touch, but they “think” for several seconds before every shot, dragging the game to a crawl. The character portraits get in the way, and if you turn them off, your power meter goes away too.

Avoid this one like the glowing radioactive ooze that it is.

We struggled to find the punch line in this abomination of half-assed execution and complete disregard for modern gameplay innovations.

Giving us eight play mode options to choose from is about as generous as giving a death row inmate choice of execution. Legend of the Dragon plays like a shitty banjo.

The minigames don't play any better with real-world opponents and the few games available for single-cart download play are not worth sharing.

While a few of these games may have some value when played with a group, fans of board games may as well stick to actually playing board games.

Both an insult to gamers and a step backward for the Kinect. We didn't even get to mentioning the recycled dialogue and animations, the horrendous texture popping, or the out-of-sync subtitles. And a $50 asking price? Must... not... smash... keyboard.

The game’s characters look like poorly-drawn imitations of the classic cartoons, feeling like cheap flash games than any sort of licensed imagery.

It's not fun, and it drives so off course from the show that it should be embarrassed. Graphics are ugly, minigames are dull, and there just isn't any will to plow through this.

There are a ton of fine shooters hitting shelves this year that are good enough to go down in history. It would be a shame to waste your money paying full price for this heap, which instead takes history down with it.

The game tries to mix things up by throwing in tightly-placed bonus gates, hidden branching routes and aerial grind-rails, but the game never really flows fast or smoothly enough to properly invoke the spirit of SSX that it's clearly trying to recreate.

The game follows a simple beat 'em up formula that will keep you entertained for awhile, but it lacks so much of the depth and creativity that we expect from the comics and movies.

The Shield has some unique things going for it, but the spotty enemy (and friend) intelligence and monotony keep it from achieving anything close to greatness.

We have a game that tries its best but still feels a half-decade behind, we have a guitar that isn't, and we have a drum kit so flawed it's almost offensive. Add it all together and take the average, and it comes out to a nice, even 3.

The main appeal of the DS version of The Bigs 2 is that it could be a nice introduction to baseball for kids. It’s relatively easy to play, and offers up a decent bit of strategy to go along with pitching and hitting. Other than that, though, it’s an eminently forgettable slice of an otherwise stellar franchise.

We have a game that tries its best but still feels a half-decade behind, we have a guitar that isn't, and we have a drum kit so flawed it's almost offensive. Add it all together and take the average, and it comes out to a nice, even 3.

It's dull, with rare moments of huge reward, and the only game it's competing with in the graphics department came out about 10 years ago, but it is not poorly designed.

Both the thrill of the hunt and the shock of its brutality are trivialised into non-existence by the threadbare graphics engine, anti-physics and tawdry interface.

Over the course of playing, we weren’t thinking "God this is terrible." We actually weren't thinking much at all because the game flowed along at an unnoticeable level of entertainment delivery. It was just sort of "there" and then it was "gone."

Even for hardcore Dead Space fans (which we are), skipping Ignition will mean missing nothing of import to the Dead Space canon.

Showtime Championship Boxing would be a lousy looker two console generations ago; in 2008 it’s nothing short of a Mike Tyson-biting-ears-level embarrassment...Every aspect of Showtime Championship Boxing is baffling.

There are a ton of fine shooters hitting shelves this year that are good enough to go down in history. It would be a shame to waste your money paying full price for this heap, which instead takes history down with it.

Unfortunately, GamesRadar's editorial staff doesn't yet acknowledge the Real Time Conflict genre, so Shogun Empires had to be scored according to the narrow standards of fun, successful strategy games.

Ultimately, Valhalla Knight: Eldar Saga suffers from an overall lack of polish, as well as being an all-around boring game. Only those starved for an action RPG should think of treading the lands of Eldar. Everyone else need not apply.

A boring, unrefined, too-short brawler that you'll forget the second you eject the disc. We've already gone blank; what were we talking about?

If you love this music, go ahead and buy this game in spite of the score below; you’ll love it. Just don’t ask us to sing along unless you found that video we were talking about.

Between the cut down roster of famous faces from the movie's cast, frustrating control mechanics and noticeable lack of polish, the movie tie-in gives few reasons to invest your time and money in a download.

It's frustrating, derivative, at times nearly unplayable, and frustrating.

Avoid this one unless you’re a sucker for dickhead aliens. The Path of the Furon leads straight to disappointment.

March of the Penguins is a horrendous mess of a game, horrible to play in every way, short of severing your hands at the wrists and squirting lemon on the stumps.

Remove the generic Matrix-inspired graphics and story, and it's online Bomberman with a new camera angle and less depth. We'd rather play ports of the original on TI-89 calculators.

Though largely inoffensive in its sloppiness, Alvin and the Chipmunks amounts to a forgettable budget title priced like a premium release this holiday season - as if you needed another reason to abstain from it.

If you can ignore the horrendous graphics, we defy you to overlook the technical flaws.

The single-player feels like a series of demos strapped together, and the terrible AI only piles on more mediocrity, leading to an absolutely incomplete experience. The adequate multiplayer offering does give die-hard Call of Duty fans something to be excited about, but even that portion of the game feels slapdash and rushed.

All of their energy seems to have been directed at making fantastic-looking robots that do interesting things, while everything else feels almost like an afterthought.

This is the Sanjaya of rhythm action games – it makes a novel first impression, but you realize almost immediately that it’s only worthwhile if you like laughing at ineptitude.

While the puzzles are usually entertaining, the fact that the same question can pop up over and over again regardless of a right or wrong answer previously is somewhat annoying, especially when we kept getting it wrong, with no help as to what was the right answer.

There is nothing inside Fighters Uncaged that makes it worthy of your money or your time. The only other plus to playing this title is the extreme exercise you receive due to over-compensating for the game's inaccuracy.

We can definitely see aspirations of greatness here, so it's too bad Toy Shop is so unpolished overall.

If you're a fan with your heart set on a dragging video game (in whatever sense of the word), you'll probably find enough to keep yourself amused for a short time, even as you hope for something a whole of lot better in the future.

Maybe it's a good thing that there's no online play - it's best to keep these ugly player models, awkward animations and irritatingly short sound loops away from the internet, where they might breed and multiply.

Though largely inoffensive in its sloppiness, Alvin and the Chipmunks amounts to a forgettable budget title priced like a premium release this holiday season - as if you needed another reason to abstain from it.

Even if you’re a tremendous fan of Marcinko and love his books, rent this one before you spend your hard-earned cash. The season is too full of top-notch games and excellent DLC for you to spend your cash on this stinker.

All signs point to Jumper: Griffin's Story being a by-the-numbers, quickly assembled cash-in, but selecting poor, early-gen original Xbox brawlers as the template was a grave mistake. Those games at least made us chuckle; Jumper only makes us wince.

If you're looking for some mindless monster mashing stick with the versus fight-focused PS2 or Wii versions or, better yet, revisit the arcade classic Rampage.

Even if you’re a tremendous fan of Marcinko and love his books, rent this one before you spend your hard-earned cash. The season is too full of top-notch games and excellent DLC for you to spend your cash on this stinker.

A boring, unrefined, too-short brawler that you'll forget the second you eject the disc. We've already gone blank; what were we talking about?