L.A. Weekly's Scores

For 3,656 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 51% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 6.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 The Godfather
Lowest review score: 0 Grind
Score distribution:
3,656 movie reviews
  1. Shrill and gloomy.
  2. Mutates halfway through into a ham-fisted action movie that squanders the good will, and insults the intelligence, of its audience.
  3. Offers no perverse philosophical conundrums and no eye-popping visuals. It's a dull, lifeless bore.
  4. If you get your jollies from watching women being shot, stabbed and humiliated, you’ll love video director David Dobkin’s pointlessly grisly, tediously derivative feature debut.
  5. A work of top-shelf schlock.
  6. The cinema of morons made by morons for morons, Swordfish is everything you expect but worse.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 10 Critic Score
    Crude animation, shrill voicework.
  7. All the while, director Lorena David labors to keep implausibility and bad acting from sinking a ship that never should have left port.
  8. It's shockingly inert.
  9. While the film is well-paced, visually it is deathly dull.
  10. It's tough to decide just what's more offensive: the movie's musty depiction of gangsta rap as public enemy No. 1, the notion that all an uptight white girl needs to loosen up is a few puffs on a Philly blunt, or the idea that any of this might be remotely funny.
  11. Just avoid this ghastly, insulting farrago at all costs.
  12. The film seems to argue that Rock's real-life manipulation of the race card is little more than exploitation, rather than the essence of his incendiary comic critique.
  13. A stinker.
  14. Absurd beyond belief or reason.
  15. The film, whose clumsy editing and dearth of establishing shots keep the viewer in an unintended state of confusion, is a corpse in its own right: It’s filled with the rotting ideas of far better movies.
  16. Mechanical revenge fantasy that skirts every serious issue it raises along a slick, cynical trajectory.
  17. Grotesque and ugly.
  18. So badly written, so poorly directed and performed, and so garishly visualized -- attention Kmart shoppers! -- it defies explanation.
  19. How this hopelessly muddled and tedious dirge got released -- unless it was through the clout of Mel Gibson, who's grafted on as an FBI agent in a neck brace, with no discernible connection to the action -- is the real mystery.
  20. Highly reductive and deathly dull slasher flick.
  21. The film's deadly lulls outweigh its infrequent highs.
  22. A cheap "Star Wars" rip-off with swords instead of light sabers.
  23. Racing flick results in a wreck as horrifying as the film itself.
  24. Annoyingly fourth-hand -- scraped from the shoes of "The Full Monty," mixed with Michael Caine's "Little Voice" hair-smarm and salted with "Billy Elliot's" dandruff.
  25. All Serving Sara can offer is Perry with his arm shoulder-deep up a longhorn steer's backside, a wasted supporting cast that includes Vincent Pastore and Cedric the Entertainer, and a huge, comedian-shaped hole where Hurley's performance should be.
  26. Black cats, ill-timed power outages and children in peril are just a few of the hoary scare tactics ineffectively rendered in the style of so many films buried in the dark recesses of January.
  27. A mind-numbing exercise in high body counts and big tits.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Critic Score
    Let's call this "rethinking" The Abysmal.
  28. May just be the most boring movie ever made; certainly it's the most boring movie I've suffered through to the bitter end.

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