L.A. Weekly's Scores

For 3,655 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 51% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 6.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Japan
Lowest review score: 0 Slackers
Score distribution:
3,655 movie reviews
  1. Could it get any worse?
  2. A crass, condescending piece of corporate bamboozling, Grind plays like a movie conceived by monkey-suited honchos who regard their targeted audience as impressionable nincompoops susceptible to every new trend in sports, clothing and music that comes down the pike.
  3. A schizoid monster slapped together by uneasy bedfellows.
    • 7 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Only a moron would expect a dude road-trip-sex comedy to be more than an aggressive expression of male sexual anxiety. But really, when did women become such vile creatures.
    • 6 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    A May-September sex farce so prodigiously unintriguing that audiences could be forgiven for stampeding from theaters to strangle its writer-director, Gary Preisler, in his sleep.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Cloying, obnoxious, unfunny, evil, shallow, schadenfreude-wielding, dumb-fuck-fratboy-wants-a-blowjob, sitcom-directed piece of elbow-in-the-rib-till-you-puke-blood, just-connect-the-dots-and-we’ll-all-make-a-lot-of-money-and-nobody-gets-hurt...
  4. Irons' doleful lassitude sucks the energy right out of the story and makes this listlessly directed adaptation droop all the more.
  5. One of those puppy-love movies that make you feel like you're slowly drowning.
  6. Bad movies can be a hoot, but rather than campy, Ameer appears to be dead serious; and it's hard to feel anything but fury toward a filmmaker whose opening title sequence intersperses black-and-white flashbacks of his sexy young lovers with actual concentration-camp photos of stacked, emaciated corpses.
  7. What the film suffers from most, though, are its own low aspirations: stroking the libidos and funny bones of brain-dead 12-year-old boys immersed in the shallow end of hip-hop.
  8. Isn't just rotten -- badly acted, badly written, badly conceived -- it's dead inside.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Complete and utter horseshit.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    So bad it's scary.
  9. Astonishing isn't the word -- neither is incompetent, incoherent or just plain crap. Indeed, none of these words really gets at the very special type of badness that is Deuces Wild.
  10. Barely proficient on a craft level, this jumble of putatively comic misunderstanding and overly familiar crude burlesque achieves its nadir with a cameo from Mamie Van Doren, a degrading, shameful turn that lays bare, all too literally, the filmmakers' contempt for women.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    In 2009, its hilarious ineptitude makes it border on becoming a cult classic for the ages ... and we're not talking religious cult.
  11. Director Chuck Russell ("The Mask") and screenwriter Thomas Rickman don't need new agents -- they need backup careers.
  12. A good horse kick, or a fistful of Valium, may help you get through this relentlessly sadistic exercise with your soul more or less intact.
  13. It's cynical and it's depressing, and I would lock a child in a room before I'd show him Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.
  14. Scottish director Michael Caton-Jones continues to fritter away the last traces of his talent with this ugly variant on Fred Zinnemann's 1973 original, The Day of the Jackal.
  15. "It's no longer funny, but he refuses to give up the joke." That just about sums it up except for the film's shopworn plot -- and its wretchedly cheap production design.
  16. This movie could have easily been shot as porn, a transition that would have given it a modicum of respectability and, better still, true social purpose.
  17. Three strikes maybe, but no stars and no thumbs up (except the one way, way up its own ass).
  18. That clunky, God-awful bit of exposition-heavy dialogue perfectly encapsulates all that's wrong with this dismal film.

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