Miami Herald's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
For 2,977 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 50% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 47% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 61
Highest review score: 100 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Lowest review score: 0 Testosterone
Score distribution:
2,977 movie reviews
  1. Loaded with so much drama that the story sinks into a grim, sloppy soap-opera mix.
  2. The characters, starting with Lewis himself, are downright obnoxious. Not counting those singing frogs or the time-traveling T. rex (with its big head and little arms), only Lewis' sad-sack roommate ''Goob'' is remotely sympathetic.
  3. It's a redundant comedy, like hearing the same tired joke for the 100th time.
  4. Mostly, though, The Big Bounce isn't offensive, or even terrible. It's just lazy, relying on numb moviegoers to fork over cash thinking they'll see the next "Get Shorty" or "Out of Sight."
  5. The movie is basically a love story between a man and his elephant, and if viewed as such, it's not nearly as ridiculous as the movie it first appears to be.
  6. No matter how much good will the actors generate, Showtime eventually folds under its own thinness.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Do not, under any circumstances, consider taking a child younger than middle school age to this wallow in crude humor.
  7. There's nothing so artistic about it as to attract the same art-house crowd that braved subtitles to discover "Nine Queens," and yet, it's professional enough that Spanish speakers will be glad to have a heist movie on par with "Rush Hour 3" or "The Pacifier" made in their native tongue.
  8. For an inaugural effort, Open Season ain't bad, but the studio shows far more promise with its gee-whiz visuals than it does in the story department.
  9. The film is supposed to be about tolerance, but the only acceptance comes in terms of how the islanders accept the Mormon teachings. Somehow, that doesn't quite feel divine.
  10. Kids will love it. It feels fresh and original and mildly subversive, but it's all a cover for the filmmakers not having the patience or confidence to put together a real story with a beginning, middle and end.
  11. For the story of a man who made his mark on pop culture by being a likable buffoon, the irritatingly arch Confessions of a Dangerous Mind takes itself way too seriously.
  12. The cinematic equivalent of herpes, Sex Tape is an uncomfortable embarrassment to raunchy comedies everywhere. Fortunately, no medication is required after being exposed to it: The effects are not permanent, only painful.
  13. Even the most ardent fans of Braff’s first feature film, the charming Garden State, will struggle to warm up to this self-indulgent, uninvolving drama about an immature, almost-middle-aged guy trying to find himself with questions he should have had answers to long ago.
  14. Tiresome romantic comedy that reinforces every imaginable gay stereotype.
  15. Despite the actors' admirable efforts, everyone in The Door in the Floor is too affected, too fancifully written, to come off as anything other than conceits.
  16. The movie itself frustrates by guarding the secret of Walsch's newfound spirituality.
  17. The latest collaboration between Cohen and director Larry Charles proves the formula they created with "Borat" and then started to milk dry with "Brüno" has finally run out of juice. Time to move on, guys.
  18. Excruciatingly unamusing.
  19. Sluggish, uninspired drama.
  20. They pull it off, but even if you believe in Santa, you'll never believe that this is any sort of holiday classic.
  21. Slow-witted, clumsy and almost pathologically reliant on crude name-calling for laughs - Horrible Bosses represents the lowest end of the comedy spectrum.
  22. More toy commercial than movie.
  23. There's only one excuse for the sentimental and ham-handed I Am Sam, and it's not to tout the rights of the mentally disabled.
    • Miami Herald
  24. It never comes close to touching the audience's heart.
  25. An overly convoluted, tiresome mystery that exists primarily to antagonize the audience, Basic consists almost entirely of dense exposition, then concludes by laughing at anyone who tried to pay attention.
  26. This shameless cheerleader of a documentary is the sort of propaganda you might expect in a Republican campaign ad or perhaps featured at a small theater located somewhere in Fantasyland.
  27. A romantic comedy need not be original to work. It just needs, you know, romance. Something to swoon over. What Two Weeks Notice provides, however, is a lot more messy.
  28. Unimaginative, exasperating film, hopefully but fruitlessly recycled after the success of 2002's ebullient Whale Rider.
  29. Singleton's sloppiest, laziest movie to date, springing to life in fits and starts, risibly mawkish and occasionally gripping, and often feeling like it was made up on the set.
  30. Largely devoted to whatever laughs may be coaxed from the sound of a freshman belching and the sight of some mighty mature-looking coeds removing their blouses. There's some nose-picking, too, but not enough to save the picture. [20 July 1984, p.D6]
    • Miami Herald
  31. Even though Taking Lives is not very good, it does contain a) a cool car chase and b) a sex scene in which Jolie goes topless. For some, this will be enough entertainment.
  32. An insufferably artsy, pretentious work, the sort of picture that gives art films a bad name.
  33. A forced and wholly unnecessary sequel.
  34. Death to Smoochy? Yes, please.
  35. The ghastly first half of this romantic comedy -- is as close to unwatchable as any moment in "Bride Wars." The fact that it stars Renée Zellweger just makes it harder to bear.
  36. The dancing, while reasonably entertaining, isn't anything you haven't seen before on MTV or BET, although the soundtrack might be a worthwhile investment for hip-hop fans.
  37. There are frothy romantic comedies and then there is Jet Lag, a movie so thin it borders on nonexistence.
  38. If the Giorgios were more interesting, perhaps Brooklyn Lobster would feel less sluggish. But as it is, the crustaceans' unhappy destinies are more compelling than the colorless lives of their captors.
  39. The best story here is the one about how Stolen Summer made it to the screen; that's more compelling than anything that happens in Pete's world.
  40. No rose-colored memories can improve this tedious interpretation of the famous girl detective's adventures. Nancy Drew falls somewhere between "The Haunted Mansion" and the live-action "Scooby Doo" movies in terms of quality but is more irritating than either.
  41. The arsenal is empty, and there’s nowhere for The Truth About Emanuel to go except — unfortunately — downhill.
  42. Sometimes I suspect there is secret high-stakes contest in Hollywood among filmmakers to try and come up with a movie without a single original idea. If so, Life As We Know It is a contender.
  43. Feels static and constricted, its intensity dulled by overreliance on dialogue.
  44. Flowers' ''style'' suffers from attention deficit disorder, leaving just enough vital information for you to follow the convoluted plot. But just when one story gets rolling, he's off and chasing another.
  45. There is absolutely nothing in this prequel/remake that improves on the first film or negates it in any way. If you've never seen The Thing - and you really should - stick with the genuine 1982 article and skip this elaborate act of mimicry.
  46. Art School Confidential, the first disappointment from director Terry Zwigoff, is all glum, dour cynicism.
  47. There's plenty of action, but it's all the same.
  48. With its unfathomably stupid plot, half-hearted laughs and slow-witted action, can only be considered a waste of time. Especially yours.
  49. In Snow White and the Huntsman, this talented but woefully miscast actress (Stewart) is expected to rally an entire army of soldiers, even though she usually looks like she forgot the combination to her locker.
  50. If "Casino Royale" and "The Bourne Ultimatum" represent the new breed of 21st century action, then Rush Hour 3 is Stone Age stuff. The movie aims for irreverent, but delivers irrelevant instead. Let's hope the Rush Hour series stalls here.
  51. Instead of watching a professional actor pretending to be intellectually disabled, we're watching a jackass pretending to be a dimwit pretending to be intellectually disabled.
  52. The movie is a clumsy and uninspired mess, which is not to say that it's not funny.
  53. The unrelentingly dull Where the Money Is tests his (Newman's) legendary charisma in a way no actor could overcome.
  54. Jason Statham gives the best performance. Dolph Lundgren gets the best character arc. Terry Crews gets the best gun. Jet Li gets the best kill (you'll know it when you see it).Arnold Schwarzenegger gets the best cameo. And Sylvester Stallone? He gets the blame.
  55. The actors are their usual reliable selves; you can't really blame them for the unlikely mess Levity becomes.
  56. A by-the-numbers sports drama with a death grip on clichés and acting every bit as flat as the mat, seems unlikely to draw much of a crowd.
  57. For anyone who digs hardcore motorcycle racing, Supercross delivers enough engine-revving, dirt-spewing motorcross action to satisfy even the most intense adrenaline craving.
  58. There's no real reason to see this movie. It's exhausting and pointless and not amusing enough to make up for its failings. You can do better. The filmmakers could have done better. Honestly, you're better off staying home and making hummus.
  59. A fairly tedious, stupid picture.
  60. Jurassic World gives you exactly what Howard’s character promises at the beginning — More! Bigger! Faster! — but you know there’s something deeply wrong with a film that expects you to shed tears over digitally created prehistoric creatures and rubber brontosaurus heads instead of rooting for, you know, people.
  61. There's a startling moment 10 or 15 minutes into The Adjustment Bureau - the only time, really, when the film achieves any level of surprise. The dispiriting dullness of this dreary misfire hasn't had time to settle in and thicken: The movie hasn't yet revealed its utter and thorough ineptitude.
  62. There are jokes in this story of a 7-year-old adoptee from Heck, but most of them are funny despite the clumsiness of their telling. The rest aren't funny at all. [1 Aug 1990, p.D7]
    • Miami Herald
  63. The best stuff in Jumper comes early, while the movie is still busy explaining its scenario. It's only when all the pieces are in place and the story actually kicks in that things start to fall apart, and quickly.
  64. Most certainly a personal work -- so personal, in fact, that I can't imagine anyone but Coppola being able to sit through it.
  65. Glitter, the kind of movie only 11-year-old girls who dot their i's with hearts would find bearable.
  66. Shameless in its desperate grab at the heartstrings.
  67. A soulless, witless, landfill contraption that Smith once would have mocked mercilessly.
  68. Never achieves takeoff.
  69. Men in Black 3 is so dull and empty, it's the first movie that has ever made me think "Thank God this is in 3D."
  70. The things that stay with you are the dull, boilerplate love story, the laziest performance of Liam Neeson’s career as a murderous gunslinger and the distracting amount of makeup Seth MacFarlane sports in the film.
  71. Even the most forgiving moviegoer will recognize this movie as the blatant cash-grab that it is.
  72. Shyamalan takes the beloved Nickelodeon anime series -- the full title was Avatar: The Last Airbender -- and turns it into 103 minutes of overproduced, stilted nonsense.
  73. The movie, however, is the sort of picture in which people run around doing everything except the most logical thing to do, because that’s the only way to keep the nonsensical plot spinning.
  74. Jack and Jill contains long stretches of squirm-inducing tedium in which Sandler riffs and ad-libs far longer than he should.
  75. If Annapolis is not the worst movie to date of this still-young year, it is certainly the most hackneyed, as well as the most depressing.
  76. It's a cannibalization of "Sleeping With the Enemy," a not-so-good Julia Roberts film, with a ridiculous female-empowerment subtext and a relentlessly stupid script that goes nowhere you can't predict before the opening credits roll.
  77. An invasion of the body snatchers is preferable to realizing that the true horror perpetrated here is not on the characters but on the audience.
  78. Looks exquisite, but don't bother digging deeper.
  79. Watching Wilson and Hudson toil thanklessly through this mess is more laborious than writing the Great American Novel. And a lot less lucrative.
  80. Sitting through Little Fockers is a soul-sucking, dispiriting experience.
  81. For a movie that's all about camouflage, this sketch comedy epilogue turns out to be its most creative disguise: a thin coating of humor slapped on an otherwise ponderous film.
  82. Who writes this stuff, anyway? Does this not sound like utter gibberish? Surely, this film did not actually get made, did it? Yes, it did. I have seen it. But you, oh, fortunate one, don't have to. Consider yourself lucky.
  83. Every summer movie season usually has at least one spectacular, disastrous flame-out, and although the dog days of August still loom, I doubt there will come a big-budget blockbuster worse than Cowboys and Aliens.
  84. The problem with Revolver is that it is Ritchie's first attempt at a ''serious'' look at the underworld, but the result is so pretentious and muddled it's almost a little embarrassing.
  85. So needlessly convoluted, so crammed with subplots within subplots, it simply forgets about its gangland "Romeo & Juliet" premise.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Skip the movie and pick up the videos at Toys R Us.
  86. Berliner deserves something better, as do all the actors -- even Moore, who's starting to look very interesting and European.
  87. Lands with a thud right from its painfully unfunny prologue and maintains its plodding, exasperating course straight through to its car-chase-and-shootout finale.
  88. The more Shrink tries to get you invested in the emotional turmoil of its characters, the more you want to reach into the screen and shake them and tell them to get over themselves.
  89. After a while, hearing Martin say ''Zee area eez zecure!'' doesn't cut it any longer, and that's pretty much all The Pink Panther has to offer.
  90. Deadly dull.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Too small to be a spectacle, too humorless to take seriously and too stupid to pass muster at a middle school writing workshop.
  91. But if My Date With Drew is what passes for filmmaking these days, the movie industry is in more trouble than we thought.
  92. Few expected Basic Instinct 2 to be very good, but no one expected it to be this boring.
  93. A failure on every conceivable level -- from its trite, pedestrian dialogue to its static, torturous pacing.
  94. The Last Song, yet another maudlin remake of a Nicholas Sparks bestseller.
  95. An unsatisfying, overly restrained bore, capped off by an ending so strange and inconclusive, it feels like something you'd find on the ''deleted scenes'' portion of a DVD.
  96. Dismal.
  97. So thunderously unfunny...There is no reason for an 82-minute movie to feel so very, very long.

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