Miami Herald's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
For 3,031 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 50% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 47% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.8 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 61
Highest review score: 100 Up in the Air
Lowest review score: 0 Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
Score distribution:
3031 movie reviews
  1. No, Sucker Punch doesn't make any sense. But none of that matters, because the ride Snyder takes you on is so vividly conceived, so deliriously bizarre and wonderful.
  2. An incredibly lazy movie -- but not an unbearable one, thanks to Aaron Eckhart's charm.
  3. The Last Song, yet another maudlin remake of a Nicholas Sparks bestseller.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    The problem is that hardly anyone in the cast can sing or dance on a level that’s more than passable (Foxx is a fine exception). And that’s a problem when the movie is a musical.
  4. The good news is the updated version is scarier than the original, thanks to snazzier special effects, a shorter running time, moody lighting, a few solid jolts and one icky moment involving a bratty babysitter and a closet. The bad news is the film rehashes every horror movie cliché you can imagine.
  5. The kind of schlocky, disposable time-killer that once might have starred Jean-Claude Van Damme, The Impostor is a relentlessly dull chase flick with an inexplicably high-toned cast.
  6. Dismal.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    What's missing in Kickboxer is a solid script and keen direction of dramatic sequences... Van Damme choreographed and edited all the fight scenes, and his talent is undeniable. If you're thrilled by a flurry of spinning back kicks, elbow punches and assorted high-flying martial-arts tricks, Kickboxer has your name on it. [12 Sep 1989, p.C7]
    • Miami Herald
    • 33 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Meg's as cute as ever, but empty Hanging Up never connects.
    • Miami Herald
  7. Such a bad movie that its luckiest viewers will be seated next to one of those ignorant pinheads who talk throughout the show.
  8. There’s nothing more to this movie than the set-up. Even though Cypher is slowly bleeding to death, and Kitai is running out of oxygen capsules that allow him to breathe in the toxic air, there’s no sense of urgency, either. At least Shyamalan, sensing the thinness of the material, doesn’t stretch things out.
  9. The Wedding Planner dissolves into a mopey, leaden romance that piles on the contrivances before limping to its foregone -- and rote -- conclusion.
  10. The kind of stupid-funny movie that should only be seen in a crowded theater.
    • Miami Herald
  11. Start with a heaping helping of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Throw in some "Percy Jackson," a dash of "Twilight," a spoonful of "The Vampire Diaries" and a sprinkling of "Harry Potter," and you end up with The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones.
  12. It's just awful. Pointless, lazy, derivative and paralyzingly dull.
  13. The less said about Simpson's performance the better. From the neck down she fulfills all the requirements, but, honestly, I think General Lee might do a better job with the dialogue.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    A wisp of a movie that dissipates the moment you leave the theater.
    • Miami Herald
  14. As human Kewpie dolls, the Olsens' basic function is to try on as many new outfits as humanly possible within the span of 86 minutes (guaranteed to be the longest 86 minutes, New York or otherwise, you've ever spent in the dark).
  15. An idea whose time is long overdue, a tricked-out jumbo jet custom fit to meet the needs of today's savvy black traveler.
  16. The film is probably not evil incarnate, but it's so irritating you wish it -- and just about everyone in it -- would just shut up and get out of your room.
  17. Merely adding an older generation of lovers to a love story does not make your romance one for the ages. Doesn’t even make it "The Notebook."
  18. Rich in cliché and brimming with the sort of potent idiocy that can only be found in January-release romantic comedies, Leap Year manages to do every possible thing wrong.
  19. Considering the horrible buzz that had dogged the movie since its trailers first premiered, The Punisher turns out to be a likable underdog.
  20. It's an hour longer than the average sitcom, but The Wedding Date isn't much different from what you see crammed into any TV comedy lineup, minus the laugh track.
  21. It's an extremely raunchy hybrid of "Bridget Jones's Diary."
  22. The cleverness begins and ends at the basic fact that it is being done. Really, it would be much more fun just to rent one of the originals.
  23. [A] visually stunning, technically impressive and crushingly dumb and overlong picture.
  24. If you really love "Bull Durham," don't go near Play It to the Bone. It will break your heart.
  25. The problem with I Love You, Beth Cooper is that aside from Denis' speech at the start, everything else seems familiar.
  26. Paranoia has a promising foundation — betrayal, danger and corporate espionage are solid building blocks of suspense. But the movie turns out to be more exasperating than exciting.
  27. More toy commercial than movie.
  28. An apocalyptic Bob Dylan song made cinematic, with all the vision and poetry dissipating in the transfer. It's as if the filmmakers listened to "Desolation Row" just one time too many.
  29. This is a disastrously clumsy, heavy-handed movie, one so desperate and exploitative that it resorts to putting a live grenade in the hands of a baby in order to get its message across.
  30. The whole thing feels at least three summers too stale.
  31. The liveliest and most engaging time killer to come out of Hollywood in a long while. It's junk, to be sure, but it is superbly made junk.
    • Miami Herald
  32. Moves too slowly, running out of gas in the later rounds of the plot.
  33. Watching Wilson and Hudson toil thanklessly through this mess is more laborious than writing the Great American Novel. And a lot less lucrative.
  34. A lot like getting socks for Christmas: Better than finding coal in your stocking but not exactly as thrilling as unwrapping a big-screen HDTV.
  35. An oddly flat, quirky romantic comedy.
    • Miami Herald
  36. No matter how much good will the actors generate, Showtime eventually folds under its own thinness.
  37. The sci-fi thriller Repo Men gets off to a sluggish start. But wait. You have to give the movie time to find its groove and establish its premise.
  38. What's missing is some faith in the audience's intelligence and, more importantly, the jokes.
  39. Lucky Numbers is like stuff bought at an outlet mall. Sure, it's got the brand names and designer labels, but the color's a little strange, the style a little off, and nothing fits just right.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    A rarely suspenseful thriller with a twist ending of the worst kind: It takes too much explanation.
  40. The film will probably play a lot better in dorm rooms with plenty of beer kegs and bongs on hand, but in the confines of a movie theater, it's deadly - the sort of bad comedy Mel Brooks made late in his career, until he finally smartened up and quit.
  41. The action, which bookends the movie, is atrocious, defying all laws of gravity and physics and machine gun-edited into incomprehensible lunacy.
  42. That's My Boy more than lives up to its R-rating - including one gross-out gag repulsive enough to make you put down your popcorn.
  43. For all of 10 minutes, Gray Matters looks like it might have accomplished the impossible: uncovering a romantic-comedy scenario audiences haven't seen a million times before.
  44. Monumentally silly thriller.
    • Miami Herald
    • 31 Metascore
    • 63 Critic Score
    Swiss director and co-writer Dominique Othenin-Girard constructs his film like a carnival spook house -- something or someone shocks you every three minutes. They are familiar gimmicks, but the director adds suspenseful twists that are fun, too. [17 Oct 1989, p.C1]
    • Miami Herald
  45. A fairly tedious, stupid picture.
  46. Pseudo-profound fluff.
  47. Just one more in the plague of weak Cinderella stories released in the past year. It's too sugary to be good for you, but in the end, its over-the-top sweetness won't kill you.
  48. Blended isn’t Sandler’s funniest movie or his best, but it is a big step up from the dregs he’s been churning out, a messy, shaggy dog of a comedy that you can’t help but like even as it sheds all over your house.
  49. It's up to O'Donnell to carry the show, and he's simply not up to the task.
    • Miami Herald
  50. A soulless, witless, landfill contraption that Smith once would have mocked mercilessly.
  51. Tomb is the kind of movie you sit through dreading the expository scenes, because the acting is so bad and the dialogue so pointedly written to make sure the little ones in the audience can keep up with the plot.
  52. There's no real artistry to this: It's as though Parker has just seen "Seven" and suffered some sort of David Fincher flashback.
  53. Unfortunately there’s far too little magic in this clumsy attempt to marry fantasy and realism; the film doesn’t have the grace or imagination to bridge the gaps between the two.
  54. The intended satire doesn't deliver the kind of punch you may expect, but it nevertheless poses many what-ifs.
  55. Have you ever noticed how it's always the worst horror movies that go really far out of their way to lay the groundwork for a sequel?
  56. It's not quite true to say that death is preferable to sitting through Over HerDead Body, but it's a safe bet that if you struggle through this witless romantic comedy the lure of being six feet under will cross your mind.
  57. There’s exactly one good scene in all of The Hangover Part III, a hilarious bit of business halfway during the end credits that reminds you what made the original film so good.
  58. The idea, I suppose, is that love connects us all, even when it goes wrong. Fortunately, even love doesn't usually go quite so badly as this movie does.
  59. Here, finally, is a superhero movie your AP English teacher can enjoy.
  60. Don't expect perfection, and you'll emerge from this goofy movie all in one piece, with reasonably entertained kids and a milder headache.
  61. The film is so gleefully ridiculous that you start to suspect the filmmakers were in on the joke and forgot to tell the actors.
  62. Silly, overplotted conspiracy thriller.
    • Miami Herald
  63. The original rock songs on the soundtrack, which are supposed to make Lestat ''bigger than Elvis,'' are terrible -- a common challenge for movies about fictional musicians.
  64. The movie is a clumsy and uninspired mess, which is not to say that it's not funny.
  65. It is a grim and monotonous affair despite the overkill of bad guys -- a trio of evil spirits plus a bonus serial killer -- mixed with a few cheap shocks futilely intended to make the audience jump.
  66. The guys are more amusing than not, and they display the easy chemistry of real-life pals.
  67. This is a slight and unessential picture, but its quirky, compassionate tone seems destined to attract a cult following, and members of high-school drama clubs everywhere will be riveted.
  68. He's (Sandler) trying to clone himself by supporting his buddies in making low-budget, high-grossing -- in all senses of the word -- formula films just like his own.
    • Miami Herald
  69. Better than you might expect despite its awkward, slow beginning, drawing you in gradually and paying off in surprisingly effective and bittersweet ways.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Not as bad a movie as it sounds, just mediocre.
  70. The germ of a better film lies in that joke, but Schaeffer doesn't quite dig it out. Instead, we get painfully unfunny scenes that make us think that when it comes to writing comedy, Schaeffer should stick to his own rule: never again.
  71. So lazy and rote, it feels like a rerun the first time you watch it.
  72. Who writes this stuff, anyway? Does this not sound like utter gibberish? Surely, this film did not actually get made, did it? Yes, it did. I have seen it. But you, oh, fortunate one, don't have to. Consider yourself lucky.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 63 Critic Score
    Everything that cynical moviegoers despise and the tender-minded adore.
  73. The set design of Thirteen Ghosts may have been expensive, but its thrills are cheap.
  74. Annie DeSalvo, a first-time director and screenwriter, can't escape the made-for-TV feel but does manage to give her cast, mostly once-big names fallen from grace and popularity, flashes of humanity between lessons about various saints and sermons disguised as dialogue.
    • Miami Herald
  75. Shameless in its desperate grab at the heartstrings.
  76. Premonition is actually more daring than you might expect. Not bold enough to be memorable, maybe, but just enough to keep you from falling asleep in front of the TV.
  77. The movie is pure product, and proud of it: There isn't a single surprising moment in all of its 88 minutes, because Domestic Disturbance is designed to stick to tried-and-true formulas, instead of shaking them up a little.
  78. The ghastly first half of this romantic comedy -- is as close to unwatchable as any moment in "Bride Wars." The fact that it stars Renée Zellweger just makes it harder to bear.
  79. Gas -- the hot air variety -- is exactly what Driven is made of.
    • Miami Herald
  80. Pretentious, perplexing and plain rock-dumb movie.
    • Miami Herald
    • 29 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Too inert to be titillating, too generic to be engaging.
  81. If watching people having their faces cut off, getting their legs amputated and having their throats tenderly slit is your idea of a horrific good time, you'll certainly get your money's worth here.
  82. How High is not a particularly good movie, but then again it's not trying to be. It's a project by two B-list rappers seeking to extend their music careers in the way of stars like Will Smith, Ice Cube and Tupac Shakur.
    • Miami Herald
  83. May be among the most excruciating mainstream movies to spew forth from Hollywood in years.
    • Miami Herald
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Too small to be a spectacle, too humorless to take seriously and too stupid to pass muster at a middle school writing workshop.
  84. It's a formula and hard to describe as good in any artistic sense, but the viewers who pay to see it -- and many, many people are going to -- will get exactly what they want.
  85. Fool's Gold isn't so much a film as an opportunity to pay homage to Matthew McConaughey's impressive physique.
  86. According to legend, a silver bullet can kill a werewolf. Too bad it can't slay bad writing, without which the ill-conceived Red Riding Hood would not exist.
  87. Just My Luck is way too long for such a slight premise, and Lohan, so appealing in Mean Girls, is years too young for the part.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 63 Critic Score
    A Disney family film, with all that the term implies: It's playful, corny, silly, adventuresome and enjoyable.
    • Miami Herald
  88. Sweet but colossally dull relationship movie.
    • Miami Herald
  89. You Again is at its funniest in the early scenes, when everyone is pretending all is well beneath forced smiles and plotting eyes.

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