Mr. Showbiz's Scores

  • Movies
For 721 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 52% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 45% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 3.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 58
Highest review score: 100 Big Night
Lowest review score: 0 Dude, Where's My Car?
Score distribution:
721 movie reviews
  1. Whatever the amount on Roth's paycheck was, it's the only truly charmed sum Lucky Numbers has to offer.
  2. An orgy of bad decisions and cheap ideas.
  3. Why waste the price of a movie ticket when you can see wildebeests cavorting for free from the comfort of your own recliner?
    • Mr. Showbiz
  4. Plays out like a raunchy episode of "Felicity."
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Pearce is shot in such distorting closeups that he looks like an overdeveloped athlete who's been getting steroid injections in his cheeks.
  5. Offers little in the way of splendor in the grass.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  6. 80 minutes of comic mistiming and missed opportunities.
  7. This saga of one robot's determined quest to become human is so coldly calculated it could give you frostbite.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  8. The characters aren't convincingly written, rarely if ever behave like believable humans, and consequently don't matter to us in the least.
  9. A chronic snore. My advice: Roll a fatty and re-rent the first one.
  10. Pushes the standard tropes of gay romance movies a few more steps toward full-blown cliché-dom.
  11. Fuhgeddaboutit.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  12. The narrative disjointedness is not at all relieved by confusing editing, an uncertain tone, and a dragging pace that makes the film a progressively dreary experience.
  13. A film without mirth or magic.
  14. So desperate to be rebellious and cool, that it's impossible to see it as anything more than one big case of "been there, done that" -- even if your drugs have already kicked in.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  15. The total lack of sexual chemistry between them doesn't help. Frankly, I'd rather see Scott Thomas play a nun than sit through another one of these turgid romancers.
  16. Plays like mediocre outtakes from better bell-bottomed fare (Richard Linklater's authentic, seriocomic "Dazed and Confused"; Fox's "That '70s Show") without making any kind of impression of its own.
  17. None of the movie's abundant humor is better than faintly amusing.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  18. Black, who is creatively marooned in the thankless Chris Farley fat-boy role, deserve better, and so do we.
  19. The film's greatest flaw is its miscast leads, who conjure up zero dewy-eyed, wish-fulfillment magic.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 34 Critic Score
    The once-talented Mr. Polanski is hard to spot.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 34 Critic Score
    The movie is an experience, of a sort they had a name for in the '60s: bummer.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  20. This is a second-rate Woody Allen midlife crisis comedy without the laughs.
  21. Plays out like a raunchy, substandard WB soap.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  22. To say that it's dull barely scratches the surface.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  23. A ponderous stage adaptation that expends only the mildest effort to overcome its staginess.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  24. An empty reminder that Martin Lawrence can be pretty funny, in a spastic, loose-limbed way -- maybe next time he'll get a worthwhile script.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  25. Without any momentum and lacking both depth and interesting characters, Shadow Hours makes sin seem pretty damn boring.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 32 Critic Score
    The switch of medium hasn't reinvigorated the soil or resulted in a film with any compelling reason for being.
  26. A tepid, pretentious indie that flies from the memory like a tissue in a twister.
  27. Shelton attempts to fashion a kind of road movie-love triangle-sports flick. He fails on all three counts.
  28. Joffe's latest is a formless, inanimate lump.
  29. An earnest but fatally amateurish and stereotypical melodrama about fraternity hazing.
  30. One of our very few consummate movie star actors, Washington can't quite elevate this dismal material as he's been able to do in the past, but he retains his dignity.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  31. Oak-stiff and witless, but a few scenes muster up embarrassed chuckles.
  32. It's a chilling piece of legal hysteria, and ripe for nasty farce. But Pooh plays it all for buffoonish pratfalls and fart jokes.
  33. The movie is so slovenly in its animation and graceless in its writing that few viewers over the age of 9 are likely to notice.
  34. Flows like day-old cement.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  35. The movie is more or less competent for being what it is. Of course, I could say the same of most brick walls -- but I'd hardly recommend that you pay eight bucks to sit in front of one for two hours.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  36. Through a messy series of news reports, interviews, talk shows, and behind-the-scenes footage, Arcand creates a cinema vérité spoof that's not nearly as penetrating or enjoyable as he thinks.
  37. Limp satire isn't worthy of its good intentions.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  38. The selling out of Chris Rock -- or Down to Earth, as he's chosen to call it -- is a sad, sad thing.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  39. A laughable disaster: an agonizingly long, perversely dull, childishly conceived fantasia on marital sexual angst that could only have been made by someone (like Kubrick).
    • Mr. Showbiz
  40. Gamer geeks, I speak your language! And I warn you: Flee! Or, at the very least, crank down any expectations you harbor -- a few notches below "zero" should do it -- before buying a ticket.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  41. This is one of those movies in which there are only two types of people: officious yuppie pricks, and the beautiful folks who stop and smell the daisies. What keeps it (barely) from being completely intolerable is Keanu Reeves' hilariously awful lead performance.
  42. The biggest piece of supernatural hooey since estranged wife Demi Moore's "The Seventh Sign."
  43. Two hours' worth of painful stupidity, overt racism, and mind-battering noise and movement.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  44. A drearily over-cynical farce.
  45. Has its share of small pleasures.
  46. Even if the antic futility of attempting to get an entire shtetl to pull together in the face of genocide is your idea of a day at the races, don't laugh too hard -- the out-of-nowhere ending will make you choke on every chuckle.
  47. Populated with whiny, unappealing characters that are impossible to care about and flatly staged sitcomish set-pieces...this lame Canadian import's a real woofer.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  48. Skeet Ulrich continues to disappoint in one high-profile project after another.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  49. Duller-than-a-Vitalife-convention compilation of talking heads.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  50. If Lee's intention was to cement our loathing of blackface comedy, he's succeeded all too well.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  51. You'd think creating confusion during something as woodenly simpleminded as Dudley Do-Right is no easy task, but you'd be wrong.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  52. The film's title accurately captures the sensation of sitting through it -- stay home.
  53. A vanity vehicle for the dubious acting talents of Pras.
  54. An aimless, pointless dawdle.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  55. A shovelful of silly manure from the get-go.
  56. Hamilton's quasi-Luddite tale doesn't make a coherent movie under the best of circumstances, and these were, apparently, something substantially less than that.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  57. Beautiful it ain't, but it is kind of cute.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  58. A swamp of clichés, contrivances, and cheap ham-and-cheese hero sentimentality.
  59. There's nothing wrong with Down to You that a smart script and savvy direction couldn't cure.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    The Forsaken discourages one from caring in the least how its breed of vein-tappers came to be, or even what will happen if they take over the world.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  60. As an audience member, you end up feeling like a sucker for even having tolerated that sickly sweet notion about a father, a son, and their silly radio.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  61. Alas, for now we're at the mercy of a screenplay whose beats are too often as poorly calculated as the movie's title.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    An incomprehensible mess.
  62. I'd write it all off as something that is, after all, intended for young viewers -- but then I'd be insulting their intelligence as cruelly as the movie does.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  63. Houston, we have a problem. It's called The Astronaut's Wife and it's an utterly predictable rip-off of classic '60s and '70s exercises in paranoia, from "Rosemary's Baby" to "The Parallax View."
    • Mr. Showbiz
  64. Psychological thrillers depend on convincing audiences to suspend disbelief, but this one doesn't manage that for a moment.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  65. Giuseppe Tornatore has long been a master of cheap sentiment ("Cinema Paradiso," " The Legend of 1900"), but his latest film is his most shallow, reprehensible exercise in nostalgia to date.
  66. This self-consciously kooky road movie about an unusual trio of bank robbers aims for Hal Ashby misanthropy, but hasn't a single emotionally grounded or plausible moment to justify its purely cinematic eccentricities.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  67. A clumsy, witless cartoon version of E.B. White's rather uncelebrated children's story.
  68. This talky, self-important flick is a bore of biblical proportions.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  69. The dialogue is trite and tinnily recorded, and the actresses have the chops of high-school drama students.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  70. The backdrop of exotic pagodas and wartime woe isn't nearly potent enough to buoy the feeble drama that plays out in the foreground.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  71. Has a blithe tone and a capable cast, but Veber's script is 100 percent laugh-free.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  72. As though fatalistically compelled, all three leads self-destruct: Li is as flat, colorless, and stiff as a panel of Sheetrock, Karyo plays his every syllable in overdrive, and Fonda seems trapped in the midst of a failed screen test for Pretty Woman II.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  73. An early scene inside a theater seems intended to wink at Sin's critics: "Disgusting! Cheap melodrama," a lady sniffs during intermission. It's a neatly reflexive acknowledgement of what we ourselves are watching, but even at that, our filmmaker is praising himself too extravagantly by half.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  74. If Company Man were a wreck on the interstate, it would involve multiple cars and at least one jackknifed tanker truck, and traffic would be backed up for miles as passing motorists slow to gawk.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  75. So wretched that it practically defies description.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  76. This is sub-par Aaron Spelling sludge all the way.
  77. Should be shot at sunrise. Or strung up by the neck from a tall tree. Or at least run out of town by a big posse.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  78. Frankly, there wouldn't have been enough shtick here to warrant an SNL skit. And if the material isn't even up to those standards, then who the hell green-lit it as a feature?
    • Mr. Showbiz
  79. It is merely another inept teen movie ripping off better horror movies.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  80. It's a warped kind of romantic comedy in which the whole is substantially less than the sum of the parts.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  81. This is nothing more than a bare-assed fart in the face of Smith's fans.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  82. A preachy, monotonous failure hyped as a follow-up to his incendiary 1991 debut, "Boyz N the Hood."
    • Mr. Showbiz
  83. Take the G out of Glitter and it's litter.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  84. Once the action starts to kick in, Megiddo morphs, minute by minute and scene by scene, into a Mystery Science Theater smorgasbord.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  85. If you can overlook its condescending wholesomeness and static, visually drab, endlessly repetitious animation, then you have a more forgiving soul than I do.
  86. Yet another leaden, witless, cliché-drunk, teen romantic comedy starring the preposterously good-looking stars of mediocre TV series.
  87. The film's a vacuous bore.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  88. Hard to watch -- not because of its unflinching realism, but rather for its mawkish reliance on every boy hooker flick from "Midnight Cowboy" to "Johns."
    • Mr. Showbiz
  89. It's a gleefully unfettered gross-a-thon first --also second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth -- and a movie perhaps seventh.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  90. A peerless indignity, a club-footed vomit launch of teen-horror clichés, overproduced self-importance, and scareless gore.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  91. Slow as a funeral dirge, the movie's all talk about art and passion and obsession without anything to show for it.
    • Mr. Showbiz
  92. If you're desperate for a James Bond fix, skip the movie and blow your 007 bucks on a copy of the soundtrack.
  93. A trial of cliche, strained optimism, and dire quasi-comedy.
  94. Such a witless, bombastic, by-the-numbers hunk of millennial hooey it made me nostalgic for Commando. This one throws in every hoary hellfire cliché.
    • Mr. Showbiz

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