New York Post's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
For 7,369 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 43% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 55% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 6.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 56
Highest review score: 100 Spirited Away
Lowest review score: 0 Swept Away
Score distribution:
7369 movie reviews
  1. Solid performances can't save Melissa Painter's pretentious teen drama Steal Me, which plays like a cross between "Dangerous Skin" (without the gay sex) and "Picnic" (without the production values or credible situations).
  2. A screwball farce that pulls off a pitifully low percentage of its gags, even with a star-crammed cast.
  3. A lot more stupid action - and a lot less heart - than the character-driven original, as Stuart ends up rescuing Margalo from Falcon.
  4. This movie, cynically and patronizingly aimed at Seagal's predominantly "urban" audience, is sad, tedious proof that even violent exploitation isn't what it used to be.
    • New York Post
  5. There are more misses than hits among the myriad plot strands that make up the sweaty Spanish sex comedy KM.0.
  6. First-time director Ed Solomon has corralled a stellar cast for his indie drama Levity -- and then put them through paces as plodding as a draft horse's.
  7. Nothing But the Truth is like listening to the fourth-best debater in middle school present a term paper called "Politics, Power and the Media."
  8. Shot through with ’60s London energy, illuminating on several fronts and featuring bits of many great Who tracks, the film is nevertheless a mess that should be taught in film schools to illustrate how not to edit a documentary.
  9. Janet McTeer, Octavia Spencer, Diane Kruger and Jane Fonda brighten the screen momentarily, all in too-small roles.
  10. With thinly drawn characters, uneven performances and tin-eared dialogue, Stonewall plays at best like a musical without the songs.
  11. Sitcomish, stereotypical and sporadically funny romantic comedy.
  12. Mostly an unfunny, rather dull affair.
  13. It's all interspersed with strange attempts at comedy that fail on two levels: They're not funny, and they puncture what little drama there is.
  14. Finish your popcorn early if you’re going to The Green Inferno, and save the bucket to barf in.
  15. Some ideas are auto-stolen (from Coupland's last novel, "JPod"), but those quirky atmospherics aren't enough to sustain a largely plotless film.
  16. Helplessly clichéd, predictable and unaware of its own lameness, it could easily become a camp classic on the order of "Grease 2" and "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band."
  17. You wouldn't call The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day a taut thriller. More like a fleshy, messy, jangled frenzy of shootouts and much discussion about the mechanics of romantic entanglements that bloom between prison inmates.
  18. Skip it, and rent "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" instead.
  19. Milks the very real problem of "organ tourism" for all the melodrama and car chases it's worth.
  20. The pretentious and unrelievedly glum first feature from music-video and advertising director Nenad Cicin-Sain, The Time Being looks sharp, but it’s about as dramatically satisfying as watching paint dry.
  21. The effects are cheesy, the photography is murky, the sets look like leftovers from a Las Vegas stage spectacular -- and the flick appears to have been edited with a roulette wheel.
    • New York Post
  22. A few magic rocks and tepid battle scenes do little to inspire interest in the goings-on as Malcolm McDowell and Eric Idle spout villainy and punch lines, respectively.
  23. Abysmal performances, limp direction (Will Gould) and a heavy-handed script drive a stake through a semi-interesting idea about the persecution of gay werewolves in a remote English village.
  24. Who let this dog out?
  25. Slow-witted and occasionally unintentionally hilarious.
  26. This excruciating adaptation of the innocuous '70s cartoon show makes the film version of "Josie and the Pussycats" look sophisticated by comparison.
  27. A 2010 movie that could have been made in 1940.
  28. The cinematic equivalent of a paper plate with macaroni and glitter haphazardly glued onto it, Mother’s Day is a film only its creators could love (and even they must be having some misgivings).
  29. Dull yet contrived drama.
  30. None of this is remotely funny or interesting.
  31. Brainless and pointless.
  32. The low point of the new Shall We Dance comes when Miss Paulina finally confesses why she's so sad.
  33. An amateurish, pointless exercise in filmmaking.
  34. The undercaffeinated middle of the film consists of dopey twists, slow-burning gazes and dialogue that aims for “heartfelt” but comes out “unfortunate.”
  35. The dullness of this writing is more than matched by the dull look achieved by director Allen Coulter, who appears to have shot the film through a piece of yard-sale Tupperware.
  36. The transformation of the girls from winsome wisecrackers into whiny bling-obsessed chuckleheads is complete.
  37. At least there is a happy ending — DeChristopher, for wasting the government’s resources, properly served 21 months in federal prison. Now, he has moved on to Harvard Divinity School, where his sanctimony will serve him well.
  38. A lame teen comedy.
    • New York Post
  39. There's plenty of material here for a dark comedy, but director Martin Curland isn't up to the job. His film - like Luke - plods along, unsure of exactly what it's supposed to be.
  40. Slow-moving, yawn-inducing remake.
    • New York Post
  41. Parental Guidance kicks off with a mean-spirited joke about an overweight woman and heads downhill from there.
  42. Like its subject, a lawsuit that is expected to go on for another 10 years, Crude has no ending. This is the perfect ending for this Goliath versus Goliath documentary about powerful personal-injury lawyers taking on a powerful corporation.
  43. This is an exhausting, eyeball-gougingly ugly 90-minute assault of non-stop action, with an all-star voice cast shouting witless lines and a wide variety of objects lobbed at the audience in the crudest 3-D fashion.
  44. Wal-Mart's home office in Bentonville, Ark., can rest easy: Greenwald, as usual, is hysterically preaching to the choir.
  45. Politics aside, Trudell plays like an infomercial for its subject rather than a serious examination of the man and his beliefs.
  46. The film is only 91 minutes long, but it seemed to stretch out for days.
  47. It’s a scrappy, unpretentious movie, with nicely calibrated pacing, but there’s no logic, little motivation and above all, no personalities.
  48. This reverential documentary, crammed with insidery art-world anecdotes, seems unlikely to convince the average viewer why it was so important that several male artists ventured out of New York at that time to push dirt around with shovels and bulldozers.
  49. A formula flick that should have tapped out in the script stage.
  50. The film is an exposé only of a filmmaker's senseless contempt for the military.
  51. Despite much effort, neither Johnson nor director George Tillman Jr. ("Notorious") can make this preposterous tale, live up to its title.
  52. Though Freddy is basically the same guy as in the 1984 original, his back story is different. For a few minutes the movie threatens to become interesting -- then retreats.
  53. The audience, if any, for Chaos Theory is going to be hit with a little puff of celluloid flatulence. The movie won't linger in the air, but that doesn't make it any less embarrassing.
  54. There's certainly a good movie to be made about Muslim punk musicians in the US, but this isn't it.
  55. For all of its homicidal aliens and toothy beasts, I Am Number Four did contain one element that genuinely unsettled me: the line "produced by Michael Bay." Nooooooo!
  56. What's Vincent to do? Will he come out of the closet? Will he lead the swim team to victory at the big match? Will he find happiness with Noemie? Does anybody care?
  57. One big cliche.
  58. If the once red-hot Vin Diesel's overhyped career wasn't finished off by last summer's mega flop "The Chronicles of Riddick," the alleged family comedy The Pacifier ought to do the trick.
  59. Elaborate vanity production.
  60. I'll grant that the film has many layers. All of them are terrible.
  61. Eckhart’s another matter. He’s adequate, but there is something about his raspy voice and WASPy body language that’s more in tune with being the bad guy at the board meeting than the hero racing through the train station.
  62. Would that somebody had fired Gurwitch before she could have finished Fired!
  63. This mess was directed with no skill whatsoever by Jesse Dylan, whose father, Bob, once urged us all to get stoned.
  64. Un-magical, unfunny and un-romantic alleged comedy.
  65. It features well-below-par writing, acting, direction, special effects and music, while oozing a nauseating New Age sentimentality that undermines any tension in the underlying story.
  66. Indulges in some of the crudest Jewish stereotypes seen in a recent movie, right down to the crack about every Jewish girl having a nose job.
  67. Despite solid contributions by vets such as Michael Lerner and Daniel Stern, Caleo isn't able to sell The Last Time - not the affair and especially not the ludicrous twist ending.
  68. The script is obvious and cliched and the action is more disgusting than frightening.
  69. A surprisingly nasty fable about a particularly silly, very English brand of animal-rights extremism.
  70. The stars' utter failure to create sparks is only one of the problems with this Labor Day weekend dump job.
  71. Hot Rod started to go wrong at about the time someone in casting said, "You know what? I'll bet America's just about ready for the comedy stylings of Sissy Spacek."
  72. There's little action in this snail-paced bore, you'll need a high-powered magnifying glass to spot the comedy and the "buddies" have about as much chemistry as a pair of wet socks.
  73. Imagine “Moby-Dick” rewritten in crayon, and you’ll get the idea.
  74. Disliking this film feels churlish, like rooting for the Yankees to crush the Little League champs. But amiability, and the natural affinity most people have for David over Goliath, can't substitute for skill and imagination.
  75. The sort of lowbrow sports comedy best enjoyed on a 50-inch screen with a six-pack, a bucket of wings and a fast-forward button.
  76. Vanessa Redgrave spends Evening dying, and so does Evening.
  77. As might be obvious, I’m not a gamer, so perhaps all of this will be thrilling for fans who’ve played it. The rest of us, I imagine, may come out of this film invigorated with a creed of our own: Avoid movies based on video games.
  78. Marlene Rhein has directed 40 music videos, including ones for Tupac Shakur and Amy Winehouse. Judging by this, her feature debut, she should stick with the music.
  79. A labored romantic farce whose only asset is Carlos Leon, best known as the father of Madonna's daughter Lourdes.
  80. A wink of self-awareness might have made this a guilty pleasure; instead it's a howler along the lines of this fall's "Law Abiding Citizen."
  81. Utterly predictable and full of trite dialogue.
  82. Ineptly written and directed, the nihilistic The Son of No One flaunts an attitude best summed up by a cynical Pacino -- "A man has to live with s--t.'' Maybe so, Al, but audiences have the option of skipping this bomb.
  83. Mostly unfunny, extremely silly pingpong comedy.
  84. Dom DeLuise, as a fruitcake director, and John Waters fave Mink Stole, as Robin's Jewish mother, spice things up, but not enough to make Girl Play worthwhile.
  85. A flaccidly pretentious and snooze-inducing trilogy of allegedly racy tales.
  86. The autobiographical script meanders and the acting never solidifies. Besides, the leads look too old to be in high school - maybe even college.
  87. The considerable comic talents of Alison Brie (“Community”) are squandered by this exhaustingly quirky indie romance.
  88. The story is so contrived and the dialogue so stilted that no amount of talent could save Exist.
  89. To describe Love, Honor and Obey as a cross between "Duets" and "Snatch" doesn't begin to suggest how desperately unfunny this musical gangster comedy is.
  90. A shipwreck. They say a dead fish stinks from the head first - but the animated shipwreck Shark Tale arrives reeking all over.
  91. The MPAA's rating explanation for this PG-13-rated snoozer misleadingly claims it contains "intense sequences of terror/violence"; it would be more accurate to state that Boogeyman contains "virtually every horror-movie cliché of the past 30 years."
  92. Tucker's message is sometimes on target, even if his film isn't.
  93. Remember how "Double Indemnity" featured smart criminals and a smarter investigator? The indie film If I Didn't Care, with its dumb criminals and dumb cops, is a sort of "Double Stupidity."
  94. A self-serving remark on the part of the filmmakers, who place only the tiniest fig leaf of a story on a panoramic canvas of the gory, gross and repellent.
  95. More "it stinks" than *NSYNC.
  96. The movie takes us on a journey to an ugly, contentious period in our misty, ancient past - all the way back to four months ago, when "Apocalypto" came out.
  97. I'd call it a depressing soft-core porn flick, but that overstates its titillation factor. Mainly it's just icky.
  98. Basically a much schmaltzier fantasy version of “Love Story.’’
  99. A kill-a-minute gore-a-thon whose twist is so obvious your grandma Edna will see it coming, Kite never gets off the ground.
  100. The dialogue is banal and the acting, especially Wortham's, is unconvincing. Even the sex and nudity, of which there is a lot, grows tiresome after a while.

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