Philadelphia Inquirer's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
For 3,959 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 70% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 27% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 4.9 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 68
Highest review score: 100 House of Flying Daggers
Lowest review score: 0 Rambo
Score distribution:
3959 movie reviews
  1. A dull, drab and pointless rehash, Walking Tall ironically manages to diminish the Rock's stature as both a leading man and an action star.
  2. OK, they squeezed one more lap out of this franchise. It's been a fun ride, but it's time to shut things down. If you get my drift.
  3. A predictable, by-the-numbers TV-movie-sized affair which will break your heart - especially since it also contains brief flashes of horror greatness.
  4. At one point, Statham chases down a sports car while pedaling madly on a kids' bike. Pathétique!
  5. Essentially a series of walking character sketches. The storytelling is slack and lackluster, the cliches rampant.
  6. The ads for The Sweetest Thing promise that if you loved "There's Something About Mary" and "My Best Friend's Wedding," then you can't miss this latest Cameron Diaz vehicle. Well, miss it.
  7. Mike Myers, responsible for the picture's one, or possibly two, laughs.
  8. Tommy Boy is little more than another invitation from Hollywood for moviegoers to suffer fools. There's no reason to do so gladly. [31 Mar 1995, p.05]
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  9. A fairly dreadful melodrama drenched in self-pity.
  10. An ineffective, derivative, and awkwardly executed mash-up of ghost flicks and voodoo movies.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Looks as if was cobbled together from stuff hanging around the cutting room at MTV.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  11. Cage appears as a knight of the Crusades, slogging across the continents, slaying infidels and unbelievers and anyone else who gets in his way. There isn't a minute when it looks like he's having fun.
  12. Icky, incoherent thriller.
  13. Ride Along is a film so casual in its conception and execution, it should be titled Drive Thru.
  14. Struggles mightily to find its loony essence. But Bullock's apple-cheeked larkishness is all flailing limbs and bug-eyed reaction shots - there's no there there. Cooper's character is woefully underwritten, Church's is yet another vain anchorman-wannabe cartoon.
  15. If the Brothers Grimm had devoted themselves to farce rather than scary fairy tales, they might have produced something like Seventh Son, a whacko sword-and-sorcery exercise.
  16. Monster-in-Law, where Bridezilla meets Godzilla, is a comedy so anemic, so toxic, that even Dracula wouldn't bite.
  17. Full of kerplunkingly unfunny jokes and ex-"Saturday Night Live" cast members turning up to do shtick.
  18. "Zis is not verking! Zee glitter cannot overpower zee artist!" That, in a sentence, sums up what is wrong with this picture.
  19. Totally lame.
  20. A piece of schlock from Garry Marshall.
  21. A subpar 3D action comedy featuring four giant motion-capture animated turtles and a raft of human costars, including the dreamy-eyed Fox, wide-shouldered Perry, a remarkably slender Will Arnett, and Laura Linney, who looks tired and uncomfortable throughout the proceedings.
  22. The cast, especially The Game, does a fairly good job with this meager material, but it's like trying to make chateaubriand out of Spam.
  23. As a cinematic experience, it's like being locked in a coffin for an hour and a half.
  24. Has to be one of the nuttiest, sappiest (literally), most unintentionally hilarious spectacles to come down the time-travel turnpike in eons.
  25. Alas, this joyless affair doesn't have a clou.
  26. An astoundingly senseless thriller.
  27. Hot Rod never establishes its own personality.
  28. Characters are introduced as archetypes to serve as jokes and little more.
  29. When the big caper finally arrives, you will neither grasp nor care about what's going on.
  30. Proves a theory first advanced in the movie "Repo Man": The more you drive, the stupider you get.
  31. This one is so bad that even Ed Norton couldn't get this mess to move through the sewer.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Reiner, who made "This is Spinal Tap," "The Sure Thing," "When Harry Met Sally" -- memorable movies all -- has made this silly slice of Lean Cuisine. And that, in the end, makes Alex and Emma an utter tragedy.
  32. Cross "Get Shorty" with "State and Main" - Hollywood hustlers, colorful crooks, crafty poseurs, and a production crew on location - and you have the stuff of The Last Shot. One other thing: eliminate anything funny.
  33. Can be described as whatever is the opposite of a Christmas classic.
  34. I nodded off watching Just Visiting.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  35. Maybe, you think, there is something daring and brilliant going on here: an excursion into the darkest territories of the human soul. But no. In the end -- or the beginning -- there is no point to all this. Or at least not a point worth making, and making us watch.
  36. About as not-funny as a comedy can get.
  37. While "Boogie Nights" was a dirge for the death of pleasure (which coincided with the death of the porn-film industry), Wonderland is death warmed over. Literally.
  38. A standard-issue, ineptly executed serving of the genre's staples, from skeptical cops to an all-knowing psychic.
  39. Even Boll seems to lose interest as the story unravels. By that time, the supernatural cliches, plot inconsistencies, dead ends and red herrings have piled up so high you can barely see the screen.
  40. This insipid take on the teens-in-peril formula, with a snake-bit ghoul chasing kids around the bayou, is truly a fangless task.
  41. Perhaps it's for the best that We Are Your Friends doesn't try to appeal to anyone outside its stars' own kind. Fewer people will have to see it.
  42. There are a few nice scares in The Colony, and the female lead, Rookie Blue's Charlotte Sullivan, looks really, really cute in blond dreadlocks. But she can't save the movie, nor can her impressive costars, Bill Paxton, Kevin Zegers, and Laurence Fishburne.
  43. This movie feels like it has a million jokes, and every single one arrives with a lethal thud.
  44. Repetitive and tedious.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  45. As a western, American Outlaws is an utter failure. As the basis of a "Mad TV" parody, it is an unintentional hoot.
  46. Rarely do you encounter a movie without a shred of originality. You Got Served is such a cinematic vacuum.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Once upon a time there were made-for-television movies. Now there are made-for-television movies for movie theaters. The Perfect Man, another anemic Hilary Duff vehicle, is a case in point.
  47. The wrestler carries himself with decency and without self-seriousness, the qualities that made Arnold Schwarzenegger a star. Austin deserves better material than this. So do we.
  48. Connoisseurs of giant, gnarled chunks of charred flesh, rejoice! There's plenty of it -- or stuff resembling it -- in the slasher-fest convergence of two killer franchises.
  49. This film about a career gal's date with fate careers out of control.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Too bad it's hog-tied by a ridiculously familiar plot, uneven direction and characters of such dizzying simplicity that you wish the demons would get to them just to smack some sense into their heads. [26 Sept 1983, p.D3]
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  50. The Boy Next Door aspires to be a cautionary tale, but it unspools like an infomercial - with a shockingly gory ending.
  51. You would think any movie with the word "salmon" in the title would have to be funny. Think again.
  52. Though Hilton may be a model, if her work in Hottie is any indication, she is no actress.
  53. The thing about stoner comedy is that, well, it helps to be stoned.
  54. If you actually sit through this enervating ordeal, you'll swear that time is Frozen.
  55. A forced-march comedy.
  56. Affleck, for his part, behaves as if a Zero from "Pearl Harbor" dropped one too close to his noggin. He looks permanently shell-shocked.
  57. A syrup-thick New Age ghost story of the same sappy stripe and mawkishness as another Costner foray, "Message in a Bottle."
  58. Both the sex and the battle sequences here look like football plays drawn by an NFL coach and shot by the wide receiver's mother. Usually, even when I don't like a Stone film I admire its frenzied energy, but the editing here is as lethargic as the compositions are perfunctory.
  59. A stunt that fails.
  60. A lazy assemblage of sketch-comedy raunch, mock-schlock TV ads, and ideas that even the writers of "Mall Cop" and "Observe and Report" would have tossed.
  61. Those who want something more substantial from a movie than a vid-game script with centerfold appeal will not find it in this noisy, bone-crushing survivalist flick inspired by the Game Cube diversion.
  62. Filled with embarrassing gosh-golly moments about non-Western cultures, it's a staggering, and insulting, example of cultural myopia.
  63. I laughed once.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  64. I'm ripping up my Lars Von Trier fan club card.
  65. Nothing gets taken here except your ticket money.
  66. Nothing wrong with the syrupy romance Here on Earth that a megadose of insulin couldn't fix.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  67. Mighty Joe Young is a movie only an 8-year-old could love. How cheesy is it? Well, it leaves the ooze of Velveeta in its wake. [25 Dec 1998, p.4]
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
    • 13 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    The highlights of the movie are a great song, Sam Phillips' "I Need Love,'' which comes at the end, and Stiles' affecting crying scene.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  68. To give the film its due, the stupidity is served up with energy and good pace. But it takes a thin premise and stretches it like Silly Putty. The title should really be "Obvious and Obviouser."
  69. Contrived story lines and an altogether phony resolution erase whatever energy and wit the film displayed, leaving the viewer with an empty, disappointed feeling.
  70. The unintentional effect of movies like Bless the Child is that they are enough to make agnostics out of true believers.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  71. The whole affair has a painfully self-conscious, self-referential air. Jokes land with a thud, and so, alas, does Rocky, who seems to have forgotten how to fly.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Unfortunately, it lacks a compelling story or characters of any complexity.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  72. A lethargic, lurching holiday-themed comedy.
  73. An inert comedy starring Kristen Bell as a workaholic unlucky in love, When in Rome is a rom-bomb.
  74. An unlikable and excruciatingly unfunny comedy.
  75. What a stupefying thing it is.
  76. 8 1/2 Women is a collage-y, self-reflexive sort of film that is designed to shock but more often just annoys.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  77. At a certain point, it actually becomes embarrassing to watch Heigl and Kutcher play at being in love.
  78. Little kidniks with an appetite for zap-pow silliness might find this to their liking. Everyone else, beware.
  79. I could make a joke here about the new Pokemon movie.
  80. Doom is, to its detriment, a remarkably faithful re-creation of the massively popular video game. In other words, it's a dark, violent, nerve-wracking, trigger-giddy waste of time.
  81. The animated film has all the hallmarks of a straight-to-DVD project - inferior plot, dull writing, cheap drawing.
  82. Happily N'Ever After carjacks "Cinderella" and puts her wicked stepmother behind the wheel.
  83. It pains me to tell you, But really, it's true: The Cat in the Hat Is a piece of dog doo.
  84. The script is a stupid mix of Teutonic tongue twisters (say hello to Herr Schniedelwichsen), hoary German cliches (from phallic sausages to U-boat spoofs), and bad slapstick.
  85. Tedious and incoherent thriller.
  86. The left hand doesn't know who the right hand is shooting in State Property 2, Damon Dash's prodigiously muddled thug-life sequel.
  87. RV
    I would have told you that its title refers to recreational vehicle. Having seen it, I now know the initials stand for reeking vulgarity.
  88. Long, lumbering and endlessly unfunny.
  89. A vast disappointment.
  90. A stale and stupid thriller.
  91. A dementedly artificial and artsy film, a headache-inducing jumble of fractured narrative, flashbacks within flashbacks, and shifting perspectives.
  92. It's hard to understand what Malevolence is doing in theaters. If ever a movie deserved to go directly to DVD, it's this dreary horror treatment.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Written and directed on autopilot, containing every cliche endemic to these movies: clueless parents, bratty brother, nasty rich kids, pool fight, food fight, girls who can't drive.
  93. Rarely has sex on screen been so aggressively anti-erotic.

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