Portland Oregonian's Scores

  • Movies
For 3,144 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 64% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 33% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 5.3 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 67
Highest review score: 100 Dahmer
Lowest review score: 0 Cop Out
Score distribution:
3,144 movie reviews
  1. Dissects the dicey question of fidelity with all the finesse of a Veg-O-Matic and leaves us with something closer to chopped liver than broken hearts.
  2. A nitwit story about a nitwit author who has written a nitwit novel about a nitwit author who has published a nitwit novel which, in fact, he has stolen wholecloth from another writer whose personal behavior, as fictionalized in the novel-within-the-novel-within-the-film, can charitably be described as...nitwit.
  3. While you may like comedies and you make like thrillers, this film does neither of the above with any pizazz.
  4. Better luck trying to find out what truly happened to the real Earhart than trying to diagnose all that's wrong with this hapless film.
  5. A film with almost zero redeeming value.
  6. The ferociously misguided new rendition of The Lone Ranger has no legitimate reason to exist.
  7. Among the lamest serial-killer movies ever made.
  8. Has a few pleasing stylistic flourishes and a potentially Hitchcockian plot, but the writing and rhythm are so off that when the final "shocker" arrives, we have seen it coming or have abandoned caring.
    • Portland Oregonian
    • 36 Metascore
    • 33 Critic Score
    Dreary and dull.
  9. Endless and tedious. It's also written-in-crayon, smack-your-face dumb, and edited so that every other shot is a close-up of a flailing limb.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 16 Critic Score
    Occasionally, particularly when it sticks to simple slapstick, the movie wins a laugh. But the majority of it isn't just dumb and dumber, or even crude and cruder. At nearly two hours, it's just dull — and duller.
  10. In small doses, this looks kind of cool. For two hours, it's excruciating.
  11. An atrocity exhibition from start to finish.
  12. Universal Soldier is another goony banquet of violence composed almost entirely of leftovers. It's a Frankenstein-monster of a movie with parts of a dozen or more films stitched and stapled together to make one lurching melodrama. [11 July 1992, C10]
    • Portland Oregonian
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    It's not pretty. In fact, it's downright scary when the two of them, after an hour-and-a-half of insults, finally drop the robes and get into the ring. It's like two old leather handbags come to life and slapping each other around in slow-motion.
  13. Revenge of the Fallen almost feels like it's signaling an end-game for blockbuster movies: all sensation, no content, catastrophic expense.
  14. Scooby-Doo is bad. Let's just get that right out of the way. Filled with unclever quips, tired humor, a lazy silliness and bland execution, the picture is a tedious puff of nothing.
  15. It's not confusing, it's just slow. Very slow. Glacial.
  16. The deadly dull action-comedy Identity Thief is an infuriating waste of time, on all sides of camera and screen. I did not know I could yawn angrily. This movie somehow proved it possible.
  17. So often out of control that it becomes absurd and exasperating.
  18. It's "Ocean's Eleven" for people who can't count past six.
  19. Seeing Hitman isn't like playing a video game or even like watching someone else play a video game. It's like watching someone stupid play a bad video game.
  20. A terrible, terrible movie. Its creators have a swell idea at the core, a wonderful leading lady, and several stalwart comic players in support, and they make of all of that a picture with the wit of an armpit fart, the verve of a boxwood shrub, and the appeal of a long night in an ER waiting room.
  21. Does nothing right and, blessedly, vanishes swiftly like the aroma of a nasty belch.
  22. Unfortunately, the filmmakers failed to replace sex, splatter and cursing with sharp dialogue, characters and plotting.
  23. We end up with a piece of B-grade junk in which Elektra exchanges "banter" with the unexceptional Prout between fight scenes so badly shot that even Garner looks like a stunt double.
  24. Mingles bathos and pathos in unequal measures and instead of getting laughs, looks laughable.
    • Portland Oregonian
  25. Best laugh at the movies all autumn.
    • Portland Oregonian
  26. All in all, it's hard to dispute that House of D declares its own worth on arrival.
  27. It's a terrible movie, ugly to look at, tediously drawn out, unfunny in every cell and fiber of its being.

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