San Francisco Chronicle's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
For 5,970 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 53% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 45% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 62
Highest review score: 100 In the Realms of the Unreal
Lowest review score: 0 Mrs. Winterbourne
Score distribution:
5,970 movie reviews
  1. As far as formulaic, empty and disappointing comedies go, The Watch is far from the worst. About every seven or eight minutes, perhaps a dozen times over the course of the picture, the movie generates a medium-size laugh. Not a big laugh.
  2. More than the usual bad or even numbingly horrible movie. It's an amalgam of many of the modern cinema's worst tendencies and modern filmmaking's most unfortunate misconceptions.
  3. A single 125-minute monstrosity of a cop movie.
  4. When You're Strange is a remedial Doors class, taught by a professor who sounds as if he's doing voiceovers for car commercials.
  5. Plodding and unfunny.
  6. Could hardly be called a success -- it's rather a likable disaster.
  7. Too ludicrous to be taken seriously, but not entertaining enough to rate as camp.
  8. In the long history of bad movies about bad illnesses, A Little Bit of Heaven just might be the worst.
  9. The Cave is National Geographic mixed with Roger Corman, and by the end you'll probably be wishing you saw "Red Eye" instead.
  10. Has an unrelenting staccato quality. Some would say a jackhammer quality.
  11. I know this is heresy on a number of fronts, but much of The Love We Make is boring.
  12. This plot leaves ample room for viewers to sweat the small stuff, like whether Trevor Nunn's score is more Marines ad or deodorant commercial.
  13. First, and perhaps most important, it should be disclosed that my 4-year-old laughed pretty much nonstop throughout Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. This was his "Citizen Kane."
  14. You can almost say it simulates an experience of brain injury in the audience: Nothing adheres, nothing connects. It's just nonstop cuteness, poses and emptiness - with nothing logically following from one moment to the next. It would be exaggerating to call it torture, and yet why split hairs?
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Held back by a story and script that is often silly and confusing.
  15. It's astonishing that so much money, talent, technical expertise and visual imagination can be put in the service of something so stupid.
  16. Big, opulent and frequently wretched, Pinocchio is so bad that its American distributor, Miramax, opened it on Christmas Day with scant advertising and no advance press screening.
  17. Going after one innocent man was bad enough. Going after another constitutes a pattern. This marshal isn't a hero. He's a menace.
  18. Everything connected with the lovers, who are the point of the movie, is either ordinary or unwittingly funny, and the laughs come early.
  19. So inept it's almost entertaining.
  20. The film occupies that peculiar space that many of us would prefer to believe doesn’t exist, a movie that’s worthy but often inert, by turns enriching and enervating: a good boring movie.
  21. This version is a well-meant but corny distillation -- a whole lot of bombast and phony exaltation in the name of entertaining enrichment.
  22. Lame, haphazard teen comedy.
  23. The movie is occasionally clever, but still inferior to last year's "Twilight" film, mostly because the story is so muddled.
  24. Perfunctory, thrill- free sequel.
  25. Has more in common with a horror movie than with a genuine political work.
  26. Two hours of senselessness and overkill, decked out in lurid, bad-trip colors.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    For all its hidden-camera footage and teary confessions, the movie rings as true as an episode of MTV’s “Real World.”
  27. It's a tepid, quiet and uneventful film, directed almost in slow motion, with no narrative propulsion and with a succession of very similar scenes. The actors speak softly and pause a lot. And in the background is the steady hum of the soundtrack.
  28. The most humorous actor in the film, Joey Kern as Sweet Lou the cradle-robbing ladies' man, gets laughs only because he's performing a note-for-note rip-off of the Matthew McConaughey character in "Dazed and Confused."

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