San Francisco Chronicle's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
For 5,742 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 53% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 45% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 62
Highest review score: 100 Quiz Show
Lowest review score: 0 Faster
Score distribution:
5,742 movie reviews
  1. The best bits come in the first few minutes -- or maybe the jokes just seem fresher then.
  2. This so-called comedy is so not funny, it makes "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo" look like Chaplin.
  3. Silent Hill has plenty of bad acting, bad dialogue and a confusing plot -- all of which become exponentially more painful when the movie goes on forever.
  4. The result is embarrassing: quick cuts and shaky, hand- held camera work, bad acting and lots of attitude.
  5. Immediately shoots to the top of the list of the year's worst movies.
  6. Belongs in the holiday hall of shame.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Remember that manic, rambling Oscar acceptance speech, when Benigni leapt around the auditorium? That might have been charming for two or three minutes, but imagine two hours of it.
  7. Only a complete idiot could think Epic Movie is remotely funny.
  8. Hogwash and not even funny hogwash.
  9. With Lake at the center, something that could have been innocuous becomes painful, and a sure shot at mediocrity is transformed into one of the worst films of the year.
  10. No more than a minute into this, and it becomes obvious that the next 98 are going to be trouble.
  11. This movie is so horrible that it actually spends some time in "so bad it's good" territory, before getting significantly worse.
  12. The script is weak and unrelenting. The stunts are unspectacular. The special effects are nothing you haven't seen before. But worst of all, there's the spectacle of Schwarzenegger glorying in the wonder of Schwarzenegger. [18 Jun 1993, p.C1]
    • San Francisco Chronicle
  13. Cocktail is unbelievable - a picture that sets itself up as a gritty, authentic character study but is laughable, false and stupid in all its details. The only connection to reality here is that there are actually such things as bartenders. [29 Jul 1988, p.E1]
    • San Francisco Chronicle
  14. UHF
    In UHF we get 90 minutes of Al Yankovic, and that's 85 minutes too much. The problem isn't that he's weird, but that he isn't weird at all. The premises for his gags are commonplace and predictable, and his follow-throughs lack imagination. He seems incapable of spinning more than one tired joke from each set-up. [21 Jul 1989, p.E1]
    • San Francisco Chronicle
  15. There's bad, there's awful and there's horrible, and then somewhere beyond that, in its own Kingdom of Lousy -- where all the milk curdles and the jokes aren't funny -- is License to Wed, the latest ghastly exercise starring Robin Williams.
  16. Directed by Danny Boyle, it lacks even a single moment of charm or interest.
  17. As plain awful as Untraceable is, possibly the worst thing about it is that it pretends to mean something.
  18. Aside from being vile and repellent, it's mainly dull - old-fashioned in its shock tactics and culminating in a ho-hum climax.
  19. Throwing your $10.25 down a storm drain is a better idea; at least that way you won't feel the added self-loathing of wasting more than an hour and a half of your life watching Eva Mendes in the worst acting job of her career.
  20. Inert, incompetent and emotionally fraudulent.
  21. Bitch Slap is garbage. It's self-aware garbage - garbage that explores and celebrates, in postmodern fashion, precisely what it means to be garbage. But that doesn't make it stink any less.
  22. A dull, boring, poorly acted, limply written and thoroughly unappealing fantasy, featuring bland characters locked in a struggle of no interest.
  23. It is a colossal bomb, an epic miscalculation, an excuse for actor self-indulgence and for what sounds very much like bad improvisation.
  24. No matter how guilty our knucklehead-protagonist's victims supposedly are, it's difficult to maintain a rooting interest.
  25. This is a terrible movie. It has no business being as terrible as it is, because it boasts a perfectly acceptable horror premise and a perfectly acceptable cast.
  26. Is it good bad? Nah. It's just bad. It's so bad it makes "Machete," the other movie based on a mock trailer from "Grindhouse," look like high-gloss Kubrickian satire.
  27. Attack the Block is the other alien-invasion movie opening today, the lousy one, the one from Britain. In Britain, it's probably just a regular bad movie, but here - with accents that are barely comprehensible and in-jokes about council flats, not to mention a swerving handheld camera and some of the cheapest effects since "Night of the Lepus" - it's surprising this thing ever got released.
  28. She's hopeless, he's hopeless, and this movie is just ghastly.
  29. The Sitter is not (Funny). At all. By any definition, although an argument might be made for the alternate meanings "perplexing," "deceptive" and "slightly unwell."

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