Tampa Bay Times' Scores

  • Movies
For 886 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 66% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 32% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 4.8 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 68
Highest review score: 100 Nebraska
Lowest review score: 0 I'm Still Here
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 84 out of 886
886 movie reviews
  1. By the time Melancholia finally crawls to its conclusion, his (von Trier) round orb in the sky isn't as depressing as the rectangular screen.
  2. End of Watch is a repellent movie, first for its shaky-cam conceit rendering much of the action incomprehensible, and finally for seeking to entertain viewers through the thuggish execution of a police officer.
  3. Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Eight is vile art, bludgeoning viewers for three hours with indefensibly gratuitous race baiting and blood.
  4. This is a soulless endeavor that would alarm if Ford devised it on his own. Instead, he shares blame with Austen Wright's novel Tony and Susan, adapted into parallel narratives; one empty, the other leaking blood.
  5. Darkman is a spectacularly ill-conceived combination of Batman and The Phantom of the Opera. [24 Aug. 1990, p.6]
    • Tampa Bay Times
  6. Carnahan didn't make a movie unfit for mankind but it certainly isn't worth mankind's money.
  7. The Boxtrolls is a visually repellent pile of stop-motion animation, populated by grotesques and filmed in the palette of an exhumed casket's interior. It can frighten small children and bore anyone, with its cracked, cackled British wit.
  8. An amoral mosaic of carnage and carnality.
  9. If only one character in Stone reacted as someone in his position would to the preposterous situation at hand, the movie would be 15 minutes long.
  10. Save the money you might spend for a ticket to see For a Good Time, Call... and just read a dive bar's restroom wall for free. That's the sub-level of comedy here, with a litany of crude sexual euphemisms and phallic images passed off as jokes.
  11. Cloud Atlas, surely the most incoherent waste of time and money on screen this year.
  12. Niccol fashioned an uninspired and downright dull sci-fi gimmick and doesn't even explain how it happened.
  13. On the plus side, Scott's plagues are cool. But it's a long slog to crocodile rocking, pestilence and Proactiv-proof sores.
  14. John Hillcoat's Triple 9 is doubly disappointing, wasting talent and our time with underworld cliches previously covered in other movies that ultimately didn't matter. This cynical slice of lowlife will join them soon enough.
  15. What truly makes The Neon Demon frustrating is Refn's undeniable talent for arresting images. His color schemes and framing make each second fascinating to observe, even when the dialogue is stultifying.
  16. Most annoying is John Carter's scarcity of action. This much buck should buy more bang.
  17. Jack the Giant Slayer is merely cable TV fodder waiting to happen and not worth a hill of beans, magic or otherwise.
  18. Ben Affleck is Agent Double-OCD in The Accountant, an effortlessly dumb thriller barely more entertaining than an audit.
  19. As far as unnecessary movies go, Predators is a pip.
  20. Nearly everything about Just Wright is just wrong.
  21. This Thing is purely for the gorehounds, and they aren't likely to leave impressed.
  22. 30 Minutes or Less merely puts together actors with only one funny talent each, making them do it over and over again.
  23. I'm Still Here is amateurishly shot and edited, as if ineptness equaled some higher level of veracity. Ironically, it's the only Joaquin Phoenix movie anyone has cared about in years.
  24. A Cure for Wellness is a repellent curiosity, rich in atmosphere yet starved for dramatic morsels a sound plot might nourish.
  25. A wheel-spinning homage gone terribly awry.
  26. The word "sappy" comes to mind, constantly. So often that I wanted to make like a tree and leaf. Frankly I'm stumped, wondering exactly who the audience is for such a drab slab of saccharine uplift.
  27. For their next act, the illusionist con artists from Now You See Me will make every ounce of goodwill that movie earned disappear.
  28. The movie takes something primally appealing and attempts to explain it, fetishize it, turn it into something deeper and more dramatic than it is.
  29. Airheads is a rock 'n' roll radio comedy in which laughs come at a very low frequency. [5 Aug 1994, p.8]
    • Tampa Bay Times
  30. The only memorable aspect of She's Out of My League is Eve's performance. Not that it's good, but it does possess the hypnotic quality of a flicker ring.
  31. The only thing Black or White adds to the discussion of race relations is another one-sided argument.
  32. Breaking Dawn Part 1 confirms suspicions that all four books could've made a heck of a single movie.
  33. The central mystery has been drastically altered to fit Julia Roberts, its most telling clue diluted, and a signature sequence that made soccer exciting now makes baseball duller.
  34. Country Strong is a country music melodrama, but I'm not sure which country.
  35. The Angry Birds Movie is simply a pointless swirl of color and motion to babysit small children on home video in a few months. Sadly, such movies aren't an endangered species.
  36. Machine Gun Preacher comes alive only when Sam is pulling a trigger, which is most of the second hour. You can find the same thrill from watching a grindhouse descendant like "The Expendables" on cable TV.
  37. Stargate is a time-warped implosion of baffling space mysticism, a costume budget gone mad, and too much sand for any movie short of Lawrence of Arabia. It's pretty, vacant and pointless; an interactive computer game with which we just don't feel like getting involved. [28 Oct 1994, p.10C]
    • Tampa Bay Times
  38. Other than its campy title, not much about Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is fun.
  39. This movie never realizes how ridiculous anything it does truly is, right up to the last-second promise of another sequel.
  40. Two flesh-and-blood performers stand out among the machinery. One is pop singer Rhianna, looking lovely as usual despite the military gear and quite comfortable with high-powered artillery. The other is Gregory D. Gadson, an Army veteran who lost his legs to a roadside bomb in Baghdad.
  41. Hop
    Hop is harmless, which is the worst best thing to be said for any movie. It never decides whether to be a kiddie flick or a grownup lark and winds up as neither. As Roger might say: "Puh-puh-puh-puhleeze, don't waste your time."
  42. The sequel is merely crude for crudeness' sake, lazy as they come.
  43. The Comedian is a phony movie about funny people, starring a great actor understanding next to nothing about stand-up comedy.
  44. All Crowe's movie has going for it is casting, a lineup of favored actors wasted in a screenplay unsure of what it wants to be. Aloha is by turns a love quadrangle that never materializes, an ode to Hawaiian sovereignty, an opposites-attract cliche and an outer-space weapons caper, all of which is clumsily executed.
  45. Can we please get over the notion that every superhero in a skintight suit deserves a movie? Green Lantern is the latest wallet drainer emptying the comic book bench, more thudding than "Thor" and sorely incoherent.
  46. The Change-Up is the "Human Centipede" of gag-me comedies.
  47. Billed as an action comedy, The Green Hornet isn't funny, and the action is often too frenetic to make any impression.
  48. A sitcom pilot idea stretched to feature length boredom.
  49. If anyone could harness McCarthy's dynamo presence while protecting her from looking bad, it should be Falcone. Instead, Tammy suggests no one had the heart to tell this hot Hollywood couple that it wasn't working.
  50. Move along, guys. Nothing to see in The Lucky One, unless you're in the doghouse at home and need to make nice.
  51. Our Family Wedding should embarrass Whitaker and each of his co-stars, perhaps except Carlos Mencia, whose chief attribute as an actor is that he's a so-so standup comedian.
  52. Yes, there is a hell, and this movie is showing at its local multiplex.
  53. If the first 90 minutes of Girl Most Likely grate and disappoint, wait until the final 10 or so, when directors Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini try covering their maniacally depressive tracks like cats in a litter box.
  54. In 2002, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" was at least a unique cultural take on movie cliches typically reserved for Italian and Jewish squabbles and makeups. Now it's all stale baklava, made with love but past its prime. Opa? Nope-a.
  55. Victor Frankenstein is misshapen as the bad doctor's creature itself, straining without wit or viscera to be a devilish horror romp.
  56. The Art of Getting By is enough to drive a movie critic to drink. The next round's on the kid in the overcoat.
  57. Swayze exhibits virtually no charisma, although the terpsichorean skills he demonstrated in Dirty Dancing appear to have translated well to martial arts. He can kick box like a champ. He sweats handsomely in the sunset. He is able to flex his buns, which are shown naked more than once. [19 May 1989, p.6]
    • Tampa Bay Times
  58. This messy mix of sci-fi horror and post-Superbad raunchiness didn't make me laugh once. Not a single snicker, chortle or smile.
  59. Something Borrowed is a romantic comedy in which absolutely no one deserves to end up happy.
  60. This is summer entertainment at its mindless, violent worst featuring plenty of squishy, crunchy sounds and sickening makeup X effects to satisfy undiscerning blood-and-guts audiences. Moviegoers looking for pacing, character development or delightful thrills must seek shelter elsewhere. [11 July 1992, p.3D]
    • Tampa Bay Times
  61. I wouldn't even DVR What's Your Number? if under house arrest and starved for entertainment. I've got this movie's number, and it's zero.
  62. A smarter-than-average bear becomes a dumber-than-usual kiddie flick with Yogi Bear, the lone Christmas release specifically aimed at children, so it automatically qualifies as their lump of coal.
  63. Keeping Up With the Joneses is the sort of strenuous comedy giving zany a bad name.
  64. Get Hard becomes an increasingly unpleasant comedy, wasting two very funny stars in a barrage of prison rape gags, lazy stereotypes, toilet stall indignities and insincere acceptance of people already marginalized in movies.
  65. It's difficult to not be cynical and redundant to declare this sequel needless for anyone except accountants, considering the studio involved. But this ranks among Disney's most shameless shirkings of its responsibility to creatively entertain, in order to pursue profits.
  66. What truly becomes aggravating about Zoolander 2 is its dependence upon a parade of famous people doing supremely unfunny things.
  67. The pleasures of Allegiant are unintended, those little bits of business taken so seriously that serious viewers must laugh.
  68. It's all megalomaniacal junk from Snyder, but that isn't his most offensive move.
  69. The Space Between Us is romantic science fiction with zero gravity and less to recommend.
  70. Fans of either Smith will be sorely disappointed. The elder never before appeared this listless on screen, and the younger misplaced his unforced rapport with the camera that made the Karate Kid reboot so impressive. Only Shyamalan delivers what moviegoers expect from him, and that's a shame.
  71. Your Highness is drive-by directing at its laziest, linking late-night sketch ideas in a quest for comedy as difficult to locate as the Holy Grail.
  72. What really offends about Hot Pursuit is its lazy approach to comedy, and so many short cuts making bad jokes possible.
  73. Alex Cross is slipshod cinema hoping to capitalize on a star out of his orbit here.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    It's too easy to say that only fans of Adam Sandler and Damon Wayans should consider seeing Bulletproof, since it would be excruciating to anyone else. It's also unfair, because those fans would be better served to respectively watch "Happy Gilmore" or "The Last Boy Scout" another time than suffer through this latest - and possibly all-time worst - entry in the buddy-action-comedy genre. [7 Sept 1996, p.2B]
    • Tampa Bay Times
  74. A timid new take on the old fairy tale, and it's pretty grim.
  75. Basically it's Ghostbusters meets Wreck-It Ralph, without the sustained charm or wit of either.
  76. A comedy abomination, tasteless and useless to a stunning degree, with storied actors smugly collecting paychecks for sullying their careers.
  77. Fantastic Four is so mediocre that its title seems like a violation of truth in advertising laws.
  78. None of these complaints would matter if The Bounty Hunter possessed even a smidgen of inspired comedy. It doesn't.
  79. Through it all, Marshall sticks to his rose-colored principles: You gotta have hope, listen to your heart and take leaps of faith. Plus a new one: Parker should never make it through a movie without at least one pair of fabulous shoes.
  80. Everybody's cyber-pal Ashton Kutcher is perfect casting for Killers, since the screenplay is shallow as a Tweet and the movie appears to have been shot with a Nikon point-and-click camera he plugs on TV.
  81. For the love of movies, stay away.
  82. The Last Airbender makes the cartoon version with its ratchet-jawed characters and clunky animation seem like a Pixar classic.
  83. There are cheesy pleasures found in Left Behind's ineptness.

Top Trailers