The Globe and Mail (Toronto)'s Scores

  • Movies
For 3,828 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 51% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 2.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 60
Highest review score: 100 The Child
Lowest review score: 0 Thunderbirds
Score distribution:
3,828 movie reviews
  1. Runner Runner is a bad run of cliché clichés.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    It works best when it doesn't take itself seriously, and some of the ways in which ESP is faked are briefly engaging, like short con games or magic tricks revealed. But, finally, the film doesn't offer the sense of release, or of surprise, that it seems to take for granted.
  2. Isn't so much a movie as a 90-minute Trivial Pursuit contest to name bit players from TV's distant past.
  3. It's a dumb-ass comedy done strictly for a seriously large paycheque.
  4. There are a couple of minutes of unscheduled surgery to put this in the sadistic fantasy genre of "Saw" and "Hostel," but mostly the movie plays out like a cheap survivalist copy of the television series "Lost."
  5. If you have kids who are easily frightened, bring them to Alpha and Omega, a 3-D movie with training wheels. Kids may not like it, but they'll never fall off the ride.
  6. Over all, the movie is just funny enough to make you wish it were much better than it is.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 63 Critic Score
    You know a movie has taken a very strange turn when you find yourself eagerly awaiting the next appearance by Donny Osmond.
  7. Well acted and crisply directed, this latest version can at least make a claim to competence.
  8. Notable for its enthusiastic abandonment of any semblance of narrative coherence.
  9. Say this for I Am Number Four: It's blessedly free of any original sins. Instead, they're all copied. Here a little "Superman," there a bit of "Spider-Man," now it's "Twilight" with aliens, then it's a spaghetti western with trucks – this thing borrows more heavily than an investment bank in an unregulated market.
  10. What Happens in Vegas should damn well have stayed in Vegas.
  11. The story, of course, is a line on which to pin the comic set-pieces, and that's where Pink Panther 2 comes up lustreless. Zwart has no discernible sense of comic rhythm, beyond managing to punctuate scenes with a wall crashing in.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    The sisterhood is already grumbling about a movie that suggests women will happily choose a mate over friendship, but actually it's the stereotypes of good behaviour rather than bad that bring this rom com crashing down.
  12. The Invisible isn't the formulaic horror film that the studio is selling it as but surely it wasn't supposed to be an accidental comedy either.
  13. Scott means for his entertainment package to be hip, hysterical fun. But his stylistic embellishments and indiscriminate appetite for sensation crowds his title character right out of the film.
  14. Rambo's return is thick with usual thrills. [26 May 1988, p.C1]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  15. You leave Stolen Summer with the feeling that you have watched acrobats stumble on a tightrope with no net below. Not a great show, but at least nobody got badly hurt.
  16. There is no narrative tension in the film, however, just a variety of grisly crucifixions. And the morality tales are blood-stained window dressing.
  17. Suggestive of "X-Men," "The Matrix" and the television show "Heroes," Push is one of those time-mangling thrillers that manages to seem both complicated and superficial.
  18. Everyone in the movie, of course, is anxious to see these comeback seniors beat each other up, except, perhaps, the viewing audience.
  19. Unfortunately, both Bridges and Anderson are only intermittently in the movie. And when they're not around, How to Lose Friends loses its satirical edge, becoming an alarmingly safe, almost corny romantic comedy.
  20. With some movies, though, it's just the opposite. Like this one. It's a whole lot easier to forget than to forgive.
  21. What My Blue Heaven has going for it: one funny premise and two earthly delights, in the comic persons of Steve Martin and Rick Moranis. What My Blue Heaven does not have going for it: anything remotely resembling a cohesive script. [22 Aug 1990, p.C4]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  22. Cohen (The Fast and the Furious, xXx) is no stranger to cornball excess but Stealth is his chef-d'oeuvre, a movie so audaciously preposterous and jingoistic it plays like a parody of the genre.
  23. Filled with visual potential, yet Levinson can't tap it. He's just a whole lot more comfortable trying to tame the human software than the technical hardware.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    While the movie and the accompanying series are being pitched to a younger audience than most new Star Wars ventures, parents may be perturbed by the film's relentless violence.
  24. Woefully short on script, the picture ends up disappearing down the wormhole of its own premise.
  25. The real weak point is Reiner's listless direction, with too few scenes that almost gel and too many that fall flat.
  26. The latest iteration of Sylvester Stallone’s aging warrior franchise, The Expendables 3, is proof that sometimes even your low expectations can be far too high.
  27. Taken on its own, this is a masterful little slice of computer-generated animation, but it gets lost here in the visual racket.
  28. Fabulous idea/faulty execution is the review.
  29. Mostly, the plot is busy and incomprehensible and the action sequences directed with all the art of a detonation.
  30. Here, one begins to suspect that the major impediment is the sensibility of the filmmakers themselves. They don't believe in this stuff, in its unavoidable sentimentality, and that attitude filters down to a perplexed cast.
  31. From the base-model script to the assembly-line thrills, everything about Hide and Seek is generic except its star.
  32. Narratively, the film strikes all the sentimental chords that audiences typically find so reassuring, but the music grates here, sounding mechanical and flat, lacking the single ingredient indispensable to any uplifting fable - a charming belief in its own sweet nature. [19 Apr 1996, p. C1]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Since the movie has so little conviction, or personality of its own, it's a walk you can easily forget.
  33. Ronan, youthfully elegant as always, tries hard, but the material defeats her.
  34. Contraryto its exciting advertising, Event Horizon is not the most frightening movie ever made. If anything, the conventional pop-up scares and gross-out effects of this British haunted-space-ship story seem less terrifying than quaint.
  35. An actual film of unrelenting silliness. Far from being a "miracle of rare device" (yes, the movie even quotes Coleridge), this is a disaster of common occurrence - a poorly directed, ineptly edited, badly photographed bundle of celluloid. [14 Aug 1980]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    A promising premise simply devolves into just another "Definitely, Maybe" or "The Proposal."
  36. To be fair, the movie is nothing if not consistent -- the idea is every bit as dumb as the execution.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 75 Critic Score
    If Leguizamo imports a hint of pathos into his performance, Waterston adds a dollop of menace to hers, delivering another of Ross's attacks on what separates girls from men. In this world, women are their own worst enemy.
  37. McCarthy delivers the moment of pathos in a totally different voice, tears staining her puffy face, as feelings awfully real and tainted in tragedy bubble up from deep within the comic persona. It’s startling, it’s wholly incongruous, yet it’s undeniably moving. God, how this woman can act and, within the brief frames of that different film, how we long to see the rest of it.
  38. This one is headed straight for star Tommy Lee Jones's career-blooper reel.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Cranked up at double speed, the plot of Flashdance could almost be a satirical fantasy about dance students. Although Flashdance doesn't admit it's a fantasy, neither does it succeed in looking realistic. [16 Apr 1983, p.E5]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  39. Like nightmares, horror movies pull us down with them. And so the film keeps us in thrall for every one of its 134 minutes.
  40. Like Frankenstein's monster before the lightning strikes, it's all recycled cold flesh and bolts, without a twitch of originality.
  41. A superior entertainment to both "RE 1" and "Alien vs. Predator."
  42. The ninth film in the franchise is competent enough but it won’t freeze the heart or fire the imagination.
  43. Oh, it's perfect all right. In fact, The Perfect Score is a flawless example of the classic January movie release -- the kind of studio picture that even the studio loathes, and so consigns to the dumping ground of the year's frosty first month.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    An achingly sincere but often staggeringly inept attempt to introduce Walsch's message to movie audiences.
  44. Once again Anna Faris manages to be the best thing in another not very good Anna Faris movie.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    An occasionally inventive but ultimately plodding horror film.
  45. It's all meant, I suppose, to conjure up cold visions of Terminators and Robocops past, or, in this post-9/11 world, of bin Ladens and Bushes present. If so, conjure at will.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Though a few scenes drum up some intensity -- that green ham Gustave makes one last great appearance -- it's mostly grim, dull and ugly, three qualities that nobody wants in a piece of multiplex filler about a surly reptile.
  46. Dumb and Dumber 'n the hood.
  47. This time out, writer and director Mark Steven Johnson has bounced back with a movie so full of camp spirit it should come with tents and a marshmallow roast.
  48. While the outdoor sequences were filmed in New Zealand's Woodhill State Forest – the movie's most stunning 3-D moments – Yogi Bear does feature notable "Canadian content" via two Ottawa-born thespians.
  49. All the borderline pantomime acting and wigged buffoonery is deliberate and silly, but The Three Musketeers remains charmless, a romp brought down by its lead-footed script.
  50. The missing ingredient, of course, is script.
  51. Not quite repellent enough to avoid tedium, Hannibal Rising is both too familiar in portraying Hannibal as a Dracula-like aristocrat monster, and crud in its exploitation of wartime atrocities.
  52. With no help from the dialogue, Kidman doesn't have a clue how to make clueless interesting. Not for lack of trying. Her efforts, which often consist of channelling Elizabeth Montgomery by way of Marilyn Monroe, are painful but insistent.
  53. Mostly though, The Back-up Plan feels like a movie aimed right at the funny bones of four-year-olds.
  54. Isn't just ordinarily lame, it easily exceeds any normal requirements for witless sleaze.
  55. Formula sequel right down to its zany subtitle -- Armed and Fabulous. Bullock deserves better. We deserve better. Rev up that '57 Chevy.
  56. Meant to be a nodding aside to the film buff, with plenty of in-jokes for the cognoscenti, Crimewave ends up as a random list in dire need of a good file-clerk. [3 July 1987]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
    • 34 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    This paint-by-numbers romantic comedy is chock-a-block with jokey stereotypes – Americans are obnoxious, Canadians polite, and the Greeks just dance – yet lacking in any real drama, only occasionally mustering enough charm or humour to rise above a predictable formula.
  57. Being risibly bad, The Happening is at least worth a laugh. Exactly one laugh, by my reckoning, and completely unintended but no less full-throated for that.
  58. Can't have an American Thanksgiving without a turkey.
  59. LawAbiding Citizen smells a bit musty these days. Indeed, in an era when the debate has shifted from too little state vigilance to too damn much, this thing seems almost quaint.
  60. Despite an evident appetite for mayhem, however, Bay is not the right guy to produce slasher movies. Horror requires intimacy.
  61. Perhaps the best that can be said for Year One is that it aims low and hits the mark.
  62. Properly handled, any one of these characters could be made, just barely, believable. But here they simply go off, like rockets, exploding out of nowhere and racing across the screen, one after the other.
  63. The plot's not so hot -- it feels like it was jotted down by someone on an after-dinner napkin.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    David Beckham may star in Goal II: Living the Dream but calling him an actor is like calling his wife a singer.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Only adults with 'Smurf-holm syndrome' could love this film.
  64. In truth, what follows is less disturbing than intriguing – to audiences hip to the mechanics of horror flicks, it's rare fun to be fooled, and this one is pretty damned clever.
  65. Otherwise, Brody, Scott and Jenifer Lewis (as Montana’s imperious oft-married mom) give this formulaic material maximum comic spin.
  66. Sure ain't a movie. Nope, it's a product, pure and very simple and carefully tested to sell to the widest possible market.
  67. The Black Stallion Returns is not a magic monument - it's only a terrific film for kids. [26 Mar 1983]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  68. A convincing, reasonably co-ordinated action movie. Nothing special, but lovers of the genre will enjoy the workouts, especially if they bring night-vision glasses.
  69. Confused, and confusing.
  70. No one is likely to mistake Excess Baggage for a great movie, but it is an intriguing piece of pop sociology.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    The movie's uninteresting characters, boneheaded dialogue and flagrantly nonsensical narrative detract considerably from the virtues of the visual design.
  71. If you thought "300" was silly, think of 10,000 BC as 33.333 times sillier.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Means and ends meet briefly, shrug and disappear under a torrent of self-flattering clichés.
  72. In your typical subpar Hollywood romcom, there’s only one tedious love story to put up with. Well, Valentine’s Day (such a clever title) does a whole lot better than that: It offers 10 tedious love stories to put up with.
  73. This is a movie fantasy, folks -- like James Bond, without the smarm and martinis.
  74. Certainty, then, is the watchword, and you can be certain of three things: There will be plenty of juvenile energy to power the vehicle; there will be a few mild chuckles en route; there will be no reason to remember the ride the instant it ends.
  75. It’s hard to argue with the title here – Safe Haven, indeed. This is all about safety in the Hollywood workplace. Why make a movie when making a Hallmark-card-with-dialogue is so much less risky?
  76. A formulaic thriller, treated in a style that's just shy of outright parody.
  77. The Real Cancun is no crime; at worst, it's a kind of staged tribute to "Porky's" done by amateur actors.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Erased, I predict, is a word that will be used to describe what happens to your memory of this cloned facsimile of a movie immediately after watching it.
  78. For the better part of this movie, Elektra appears to be a sensible, stylish young superhero.
  79. An ugly, strictly-for-meatheads comedy that can only be recommended to couples who wear matching Tie Domi Toronto Maple Leafs jerseys out on a date.
  80. The best part of Jonah Hex is Josh Brolin on a horse. Especially when he's not saying anything, just moseying into or out of town. Too had he never moseys into a better movie.
  81. Morally simple, action packed and explosive.
  82. The film suffers from a syndrome I'll call the Pop Princess's New Clothes. Hilary can't really sing, and neither can Terri, so you can't help but wonder, what's the big whoop?
  83. An Adam Sandler movie without Adam Sandler, it turns out, is not necessarily an improvement.

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