The Globe and Mail (Toronto)'s Scores

  • Movies
For 3,826 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 51% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 2.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 60
Highest review score: 100 Moolaadé
Lowest review score: 0 Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me
Score distribution:
3,826 movie reviews
  1. This briefly inspired bit of surreality quickly descends into gratuitous bondage, mayhem and dumb humour, marking the usual progression from mildly absurd premise to gratingly idiotic conclusion.
  2. The problem with the taboo-busters is that they feel calculated - in the past, Lynch's creepiness seemed casual and natural - and they take Wild at Heart so high it can't come down; the picture repeatedly jacks itself into frenzy only to crash into lethargy.
  3. Other than a few gratuitous montage sequences, plus a patently clumsy echo of the shopping scene in "Pretty Woman," Marshall refuses to pull his share of the load, forcing his beleaguered cast to fend for themselves.
  4. Though Lillard's excitable tone keeps promising wild comic adventures, the sequences are uniformly flat and humour-free.
  5. It's the sort of visual joke you would wince at in a 1940s movie; to see it nowadays, you're tempted to dismiss it as unintentional.
  6. Barely a chuckle in sight.
  7. Properly handled, any one of these characters could be made, just barely, believable. But here they simply go off, like rockets, exploding out of nowhere and racing across the screen, one after the other.
  8. There is no pleasure in watching a child suffer. Just embarrassment and a vague sense of shame. Watching Trapped simply makes us feel guilty.
  9. It's not really serious, not especially funny, and not noticeably scary. Strikeout.
  10. On the whole, the film is content to lumber awkwardly between the condemned man on death row and the intrepid reporter on his save-a-life beat -- there's about as much rhythm in the style as there is sense in the plot.
  11. A cinematic homage as flawed as its subject. Flawed, yet with a peculiar fascination of its own -- what we have is a genuine artist paying sincere tribute to an unapologetic mediocrity, and stooping awkwardly to the task.
  12. The result is a small independent film suffering from a severe case of Hollywood-itis. A cautionary tale minus the caution, Just a Kiss is just a cop-out.
  13. The film doesn't work, it ain't charming.
  14. Reign of Fire never comes close to recovering from its demented premise, but it does sustain an enjoyable level of ridiculousness.
  15. Before immediately handing the movie an F and sending it off to summer school, give the filmmakers, and especially co-star Jason Schwartzman, credit for their anarchic willingness to try anything to shock a laugh loose from an audience.
  16. Too much chatting, not enough chills.
  17. A plot so preposterous it could only have emerged from the underground comic world.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    If the art of a true hustler is, as Joe puts it, "beating a man out of his money and making him like it," Callahan blows it big-time with any mark who shells out to see his film.
  18. Isn't so much a movie as a 90-minute Trivial Pursuit contest to name bit players from TV's distant past.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    The monster isn't very interesting (or scary) to look at: he's just an oily, overgrown gremlin.
  19. As for the old and graceful Jackie, he's completely missing in action, his supple talents sacrificed on the high altar of movie technology -- that frenetic place where superheroes are a colossal bore and real ones are sadly impotent.
  20. What's up with director John McTiernan? The man has got to get a career of his own -- sponging off the pale leavings of Norman Jewison just won't do.
  21. To divulge the plot would spoil the experience -- you'll be shocked to discover, and maybe even surprised to learn, just how lame the damn thing really is.
  22. Both syrupy and scatological, this is a typical family-dividing Sandler comedy: Parents will hate it but the kids will delight in its rudeness.
  23. Empire is just too intent on living up to its imperial name -- colonizing other defenceless movies, plundering their rich natural resources, and leaving us all to feel rather cruelly violated. A postscript: Somebody here -- I'm not saying who -- dies. And still keeps on talking.
  24. This hunk of celluloid flotsam will come back sooner rather than later, washed up on the remote shelves of your local video store. My advice: shred the message, recycle the bottle.
  25. While computer games can boast an abundance of nifty graphics and odious villains and plucky protagonists on long journeys, they're invariably a tad wanting in the cinematic essentials -- you know, stuff like plot and characterization and theme.
  26. This time the action takes us out of the usual campgrounds and girls in underwear into the realm of outer space, where no one can hear you screaming "Enough already."
  27. About the only fun to be had in the movie is screenwriter Alan McElroy's cartoon spook-speak.
  28. You might believe that a movie comedy requires no visual rhythm, and that entire scenes -- especially those big set-pieces -- benefit greatly from a shooting style devoid of imagination and unremittingly flat. If so, A Guy Thing is surely your thing. Enjoy.
  29. When a movie ostensibly on a serious subject is so God-awful silly, is it impossible to be offended, or impossible not to be?
    • 25 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    The film's putrid sexism is subverted in a series of sharp and funny scenes that at least raise Sorority Boys to the level of "American Pie."
  30. A few early laughs scattered around a plot as thin as it is repetitious. There's talent in this picture, both before and behind the camera, but virtually none of it gets on the screen.
  31. Watching Attack of the Clones is like getting rapped on the head with a rubber mallet -- no lasting damage (I pray and hope), but bad enough to bring on an acute bout of dizziness and disorientation. Definitely do not operate heavy machinery after viewing -- this behemoth is brutal.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Since the movie has so little conviction, or personality of its own, it's a walk you can easily forget.
  32. Spun is so hip it hurts.
  33. It's all very pat and, ultimately, annoying.
  34. Lots of buildings and cars explode, but there isn't a spark between any of the characters.
  35. There's not a scrap of imagination in the script.
  36. Serving Sara, which often feels more like serving time, is one of those tortured Hollywood romantic comedies that starts with a passable premise and turns into an inventory of flat gags and weak lines set against a travelogue backdrop.
  37. Just the umpteenth replay of the girl-meets-boy/boy-loses-girl/boy-gets-girl story.
  38. Mostly, the plot is busy and incomprehensible and the action sequences directed with all the art of a detonation.
  39. Pretty much what you'd expect -- just another haunted house that happens to float.
  40. General Boredom meets Major Tedium on the Civil War fields of Virginia.
  41. You leave Stolen Summer with the feeling that you have watched acrobats stumble on a tightrope with no net below. Not a great show, but at least nobody got badly hurt.
  42. Dragonfly has more plot than a figure-skating competition, and just about as much credibility.
  43. Smith and Lawrence enjoyed some amusing chemistry in the '95 original, but their molecules sure aren't jibing here. It's a full hour into this behemoth before there's anything resembling a belly laugh.
  44. For about 20 minutes, Phantoms, based on Dean Koontz's bestseller, keeps you guessing. After that, it barely keeps you awake.
  45. The script is definitely mediocrity mixed with complication.
  46. There's no doubt the cast is driven and talented; some day, it might be interesting to watch a film about what such kids are really like.
  47. The most disturbing aspect of Cold Creek Manor -- a predictable, disjointed "Cape Fear" knockoff -- is that a script this disjointed and unoriginal could actually get the Hollywood green light.
  48. In the right hands, Good Boy! might have been a ripe bit of mischief. But except for an endless drum roll of fart jokes, what we get is stuffy liberal humanism that would bore the Oshkoshes off Al Gore's littlest nieces and nephews.
  49. A determined romantic comedy with a theme, and damned if it won't see it through.
  50. A semi-intriguing abomination, the movie The Cat in the Hat takes a piece of classic childhood Americana and turns it into something garish, dumb, ugly and senseless.
  51. The problem here isn't how the figures look; rather, it's what they do and say -- the story is lame and the dialogue no better.
  52. Oh, it's perfect all right. In fact, The Perfect Score is a flawless example of the classic January movie release -- the kind of studio picture that even the studio loathes, and so consigns to the dumping ground of the year's frosty first month.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    There ain't much to You Got Served, but at least this teensploitation flick is bookended by two frenzied sequences that fully exploit the visual potential of street dancing.
  53. I confess to a deep uncertainty about whether this can be rightly called a movie. A bunch of scenes, maybe... I confess to a cynical belief that Lola isn't actually a role but just a succession of costume changes.
  54. Despite being set in 1958 Cuba, Havana Nights sticks to the formula. This would be perfectly acceptable if the dancing was "dirtier" and if there was a spark between the young couple.
  55. A plot so thin you could filter coffee through it.
  56. In what is surely a tribute to the dazzling mediocrity of director Luis Llosa, the real jungle looks as bland as the fake jungle.
  57. A lazy, hasty effort that offers little beyond a few jack-in-the-box startles and a high body count, including Hewitt's bouncing about in a shirt half-unbuttoned over a bikini top.
  58. A twisted, but not particularly clever, black comedy.
  59. In its nearly two-hour running time, in its always lugubrious pace, in its almost complete absence of laughs, The Prince & Me is a comedy that plays like a tragedy. No stricken bodies, though, unless you count the ones in the audience slumped back in their seats -- perchance they slept.
  60. Okay, it's just a movie, but his "reward" just doesn't cut it, even on a basic storytelling level. A crooked casino and a nephew's experiment with drugs are not enough justification for the hero's violent acts of vengeance.
  61. The United States of Leland has a resonance of "Elephant" without the visual poetry or structural sophistication, or "American Beauty" without the leavening comedy, but it's neither an insightful nor well-made film.
  62. If laughs are the currency of any comedy, then this one pays minimum wage and, worse, makes you work damn hard even for that pittance.
  63. An overemphatic revenge fantasy devoid of even a trace of excitement or wit.
  64. The plot's not so hot -- it feels like it was jotted down by someone on an after-dinner napkin.
  65. The net result is a few shaky laughs and one unwavering sensation -- that The Terminal is interminable.
  66. Filled with visual potential, yet Levinson can't tap it. He's just a whole lot more comfortable trying to tame the human software than the technical hardware.
  67. With the performers given zilch to perform, the result is a picture that's all chassis and no engine, or, in the parlance of the genre, a bunch of pointy hats in search of a transporting broomstick.
  68. There, in its midst, stands a freeze-dried Arthur -- stripped of his legend, shivering in the cold and wondering, like the rest of us, where in hell the magic went.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    The finale just seems hypocritical, even nonsensical in a comedy that derives its few laughs from a farting dog and an accidental gynecological exam. This book is better left closed.
  69. A vigorously cross-marketed product, with comics, collectable cards, games and a television series.
  70. The devil is back in Exorcist: The Beginning, and he is more disgusting than ever. Not more scary, just really yucky, in a kind of maggots-on-a-pizza-slice way.
  71. A crashing bore.
  72. Very little of it works.
  73. Now, forcibly deported to Chicago and peopled with American stars, the same story is huffed and puffed and squeezed into an entirely different cultural context. Guess what? Sayonara sushi, hello turkey.
  74. [Law] talks straight to the camera like the young Michael Caine, but this time our hunk has got zilch to say. That's because a bastard's candour is off-limits in today's politically correct market — it just wouldn't be polite.
  75. It's the perfect sort of movie to have playing on a television in the corner of a rec room during a low-key beer and pizza party.
  76. They are singing the jingle in the bath, in bed, in the car, ready to send you, like George, smack into a tree.
  77. Dull Blade just doesn't cut it.
  78. The countdown begins with the first negative integer — an amped-up score that overpowers the proceedings like a bad band at a high-school dance.
  79. It's possible to insult even a teenager's intelligence.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    All would be forgiven if Peter were worth believing in. Instead, the boy who wouldn't grow up comes off like a shrill, obnoxious little drip. Shrek should give him a right pounding.
  80. Talky, crude and sexist, Mallrats is significantly less funny, a flatulent sequel to the director's small start.
  81. Is Kazaam racist? In effect, yes. But it'sracism linked to bad marketing: You can't really mix a black-pride rap film with a revamped version of "Free Willie" and expect them to magically jibe.
  82. A film willing to cheat whatever way necessary to scare you... The good news is that once you leave the theatre, you'll never think of Boogeyman again.
  83. The problem is that director Wayne Wang seems deaf to the tonal differences between coming-of-age, magic realism and children's comedy.
  84. Every time you think you grasp the concept, another layer of outlandish supernatural gobbledygook is laid on top, leaving the viewer feeling as spun-out as Linda Blair's head.
  85. Director Adam Shankman pushes together scenes with little rhythm or flow. Writers Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant ignore credibility, throw in pointless sight gags, treat humiliation as comedy and use tiresome ethnic stereotypes. In short, Diesel doesn't get the help he needs.
  86. Meant to explore anger, all this picture does is manufacture it.
  87. The results are so listless, dated and characterless.
  88. A bunch of scenes in need of a tighter narrative and, more importantly, a raison d'ĂȘtre.
  89. Add them up and the sum has a certain mathematical inevitability: Really annoying characters, really annoying movie.
  90. Herbie without the herb has never been my cup of tea.
  91. While this may all sound seductively warped to those who enjoy movies featuring sexually deviant confinement and torture, blasphemous rants and rampaging rednecks, The Devil's Rejects does not live up to its sick, twisted and campy intentions. "Straw Dogs" meets "Smokey And The Bandit" for the new millennium it ain't.
  92. In lieu of a movie, we get a series of car chases rudely interrupted by the occasional smattering of dialogue.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    In the worst scenes in Deuce Bigalow: European Bigalow, it's as if Schneider and Co. are straining to invent new taboos just so they can break them, a strategy that provokes more confused silence than laughter.

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