The Globe and Mail (Toronto)'s Scores

  • Movies
For 3,800 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 51% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 2.1 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 Central Station
Lowest review score: 0 Far and Away
Score distribution:
3,800 movie reviews
  1. Fool's Gold starts flat and then deflates because of torpid pacing and flailing performances.
  2. Apparently pitched somewhere between a farce and a fable, this flick is neither. Just foolish. And frustrating. And, mostly, damned annoying.
  3. Every actor and actress involved seems to have been instructed to act as guilty as possible and, in this at least, they're entirely convincing. Not guilty of murder, perhaps, but of a really unfortunate career choice.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    What Boll gives us is a boring beating over the head.
  4. Being risibly bad, The Happening is at least worth a laugh. Exactly one laugh, by my reckoning, and completely unintended but no less full-throated for that.
  5. The Love Guru is a comedy like the Leafs are a hockey team.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Space Chimps might have been saved, in fact, by using real monkeys in the astronaut roles. Or, better yet, by having a monkey in the director's chair.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    In the battle for the hearts, minds and fat wallets of North American teens, College fights dirtier and sinks lower than most gross-out screen comedies.
  6. One of those non-stop jabbering cartoons in which most of the lines sound like the spontaneous riffs from a couple of comics sitting around a diner.
  7. Reportedly, the movie began life as a short film, and if it actually ran for 22 minutes with a few commercial breaks, like a good sitcom should, Filth and Wisdom could be bearable. At 84 minutes, the movie feels both overpadded and underdeveloped.
  8. The movie is so relentlessly self-congratulatory, you can't help becoming thoroughly sick of it.
  9. The movie pretty much blows.
  10. It's like flipping through five years of dog calendars.
  11. I think that the perfect name for the chick in a chick flick is Rebecca Bloomwood. I know that if Charles Dickens had possessed the good sense to write chick flicks, he could not have done better than Rebecca Bloomwood.
  12. Veers between crude and cloying.
  13. As always in Emmerich's rollicking Armageddons, the cannon speaks with an expensive bang, while the fodder gets afforded nary a whimper. Of course, that's just part of disaster's simple recipe: Blow us up, then blow us off.
  14. C'mon, in matters of haunted-house inhabitation, settling into an ex-mortuary is like renting above a dentist's office -- ashen faces and ghastly screams come with the territory.
  15. The movie feels like a form of aversion therapy designed to take the fun out of dumb.
  16. Isn't just ordinarily lame, it easily exceeds any normal requirements for witless sleaze.
  17. Every character is like the hyperactive rat-squirrel Scrat, and the audience is bounced around like his elusive acorn.
  18. Perhaps the best that can be said for Year One is that it aims low and hits the mark.
  19. Land of the Lost is one of those films so caught up in its concept it has forgotten its audience.
  20. Whether madcap parody – the "American Psycho" of G-man flicks – or walk on the wild side of Lynch's obsessions, the film's a failure.
  21. Here's the title: Couples Retreat. And here's the review: Couples, Retreat. Yep, just find the verb, treat it as a command, and vamoose, unless you harbour an abiding curiosity about how eternally long 100 minutes can feel.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    A promising premise simply devolves into just another "Definitely, Maybe" or "The Proposal."
  22. A raunchy, fast-paced comedy that, nevertheless, is as flat as the tires on the old Volvo gathering dust in my garage.
  23. There's a lesson behind Gentlemen Broncos , the new film from director Jared Hess: Don't try to mock above your talent level.
  24. Old Dogs is offensive mostly because it wastes time.
  25. Chan's comedic gifts and still-nimble moves are wasted in a string of unimaginative household calamities and practical jokes.
  26. At least Adams and Goode are always watchable, even when you occasionally feel embarrassed for them.
  27. In the case of When in Rome, oh to do what the Romans used to do: Toss the bloody thing to the lions.
  28. A funereally unfunny comedy.
  29. Sappy and predictable.
  30. The one thing that’s briefly enjoyable about From Paris with Love is John Travolta’s appearance. In a black leather jacket, with a shaved bald head and a goatee and a perpetual scarf to hide his jowls, he looks like a well-fed pimp or a gay bear.
  31. Fails as a comedy-drama because it’s neither funny nor involving. But it fails as a buddy movie because Willis and Morgan make for a dull couple.
  32. A painfully contrived romantic comedy/thriller that may (or may not) have brought Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston together as a real-life couple.
  33. We know to a certainty what will happen. More to the point, the writers know that we know. But here’s the intriguing bit: They don’t care. Rather, their job as diligent Tinseltown hacks is simply to devise ways of filling up the remaining 90 minutes.
  34. The obvious question about Repo Men: Why bother?
  35. Mostly though, The Back-up Plan feels like a movie aimed right at the funny bones of four-year-olds.
  36. The paradox here is that the message of respect for animal life is outweighed by the lack of respect for human beings.
  37. Think of a really bad, uncensored Saturday Night Live comedy sketch. Then make it worse – make it longer.
  38. Damned if those dual spoilsports, the gladiatorial director Ridley Scott reteamed with his portly star Russell Crowe, haven't drained every drop of merriment right out of the myth.
  39. The best part of Jonah Hex is Josh Brolin on a horse. Especially when he's not saying anything, just moseying into or out of town. Too had he never moseys into a better movie.
  40. Adam is back to lining his pockets again.
  41. So here’s an idea: Maybe filmmakers should shoot what Ashton’s up to off-camera, because not many laughs are making it to the screen.
  42. What "serious" means for young actors, as we know from Miley Cyrus's "The Last Song," is maudlin, and Charlie St. Cloud is no exception.
  43. Aside from uninspired movie-parody gags, Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore suffers from gadget overload.
  44. Only read the bottom line of the accountants' review, after your generic masterpiece has gone the distance from theatrical release to video stores to the nethermost regions of the cable dial. If the accountants' judgment proves kind, head to the bank and feel free to enjoy precisely what you've denied so many others – a really good laugh.
  45. The Virginity Hit is another slice of "American Pie," one more youth comedy that encourages its cast (and audience) to ridicule a fumbling, well-meaning teenager.
  46. Unlike Sacha Baron Cohen's rude semi-documentary satires (Borat, Bruno), I'm Still Here never finds a satiric justification for all this grotesque behaviour.
  47. Neither boring enough to qualify as pornography nor vital enough to generate a controversy.
  48. The film is a mawkish mess, only occasionally alleviated by the performances or Shange's poetry.
  49. So intent are the Strausses on showing off their visual chops, they leave the film's story, dialogue and acting in shambles.
  50. Anything but a seasonal treat. This special-effects-heavy, big-budget musical from expatriate Russian director Andrei Konchalovsky (Runaway Train, Tango & Cash) ranks as one of the most misguided children's films ever made.
  51. Where the hell is the movie?
  52. Wisdom lies in taking a pass on Hall Pass, but bravery demands something else, something far more instructive: Watch it, every vacuous frame, if only to measure the precise aesthetic distance from blessing to curse.
  53. If you are expecting a pleasant evening of escapism, you will be cruelly fooled. The editor responsible for the trailer is clearly a genius.
  54. It's outstandingly obnoxious.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    The sisterhood is already grumbling about a movie that suggests women will happily choose a mate over friendship, but actually it's the stereotypes of good behaviour rather than bad that bring this rom com crashing down.
  55. Brings on a wave of nostalgia accompanied, unfortunately, by a great big yawn that will surely be experienced by parents hoping for a spark of irreverence à la Pippi or the broad comic appeal found in most theatrical family fare these days.
  56. The Art of Getting By is distinguished by a dullness that's almost akin to being in high school again.
  57. Gomez, who turns 20 next year, looks much younger than her age and has the thankless task of playing three roles...It feels like a struggle and the screenplay doesn't help.
  58. Unfortunately, nobody had the good sense to call the comedy authorities and shut this Zookeeper down.
  59. It's a going-through-the-motions domestic comedy that makes, say, "Cheaper By The Dozen" look like a heart-warming, cutting-edge laugh riot.
  60. Taylor Lautner puts the abs in Abduction, but not much else.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    And yes, the super effects are fantastic. But overall, Ra.One fails to impress.
  61. A noxious PG comedy starring Adam Sandler as a pair of middle-aged male-female twins that should have been separated at birth to spare us from this movie.
  62. Like the recent Adam Sandler dud "Jack and Jill," a sizable chunk of Chip-Wrecked was shot on the newest ship in the fleet of a major cruise company – the ultimate in movie product placement!
  63. An unholy mess.
  64. Listlessly directed by Julie Anne Robinson (Miley Cyrus's The Last Song) from a script written by a trio of writers (Stacy Sherman, Karen Ray and Liz Brixius), One for the Money is tepidly glib throughout.
  65. Film encyclopedias may beg to differ, the Cahiers du Cinéma might correct me, but, as far as your humble correspondent knows, Wanderlust is the first mainstream movie ever to star a Floppy Prosthetic Penis.
  66. For a comedy about the quest for inner peace, A Thousand Words reeks of desperation.
  67. Contrast this to "The Iron Lady," a film which managed to be both obnoxiously condescending and flattering to the divisive British leader Margaret Thatcher, and left those of all political stripes irritated. The Lady, devoid of either iron or irony, is merely forgettable, a much deeper insult to its subject.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Unfortunately, Hysteria is much closer in its effects to a more significant and much larger 19th-century invention. Like the locomotive, this costume drama proceeds noisily and methodically toward a destination that is agreed upon from the outset. Good orgasms and good movies generally offer surprises; good trains do not.
  68. Will be construed by the faithful as an embarrassment of riches and by the rest of us as cruel and unusual punishment.
  69. It's a dumb-ass comedy done strictly for a seriously large paycheque.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    So why are they divorcing, you ask. Who knows? Certainly not the creators of the very confused Celeste and Jesse Forever.
  70. 2 Days in New York plays like 2 years in Attica. You don't watch this movie so much as serve it out, a light comedy doled out as a heavy sentence.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    The film is basically a compendium of possessed-child clichés.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Instead of playing the role in drag, the erstwhile Madea simply is a drag.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Means and ends meet briefly, shrug and disappear under a torrent of self-flattering clichés.
  71. Never one to shrink from the challenge of parodying the already parodic, along comes Marlon Wayans to do in A Haunted House what he once did in "Scary Movie." And do it much, much worse.
  72. The film can't be accused of taking itself seriously. Shot in 3-D, with lots of choppy action, a rudimentary plot, and plenty of CGI-shape-shifting, it comes in at a brisk, disposable 88 minutes.
  73. Given Part II's quality, the final sequence, a series of clips from next summer's Part III, may be a major miscalculation. "To be concluded," reads the final title. Sounds more like a threat than a promise. [22 Nov 1989, p.C9]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  74. Soderbergh has bathed the Depression in lovely, golden-brown hues - so lovely, so golden, that the flick seems to be unfolding from inside the delicious core of a burnished bran muffin. [20 August 1993]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  75. Meant to be a nodding aside to the film buff, with plenty of in-jokes for the cognoscenti, Crimewave ends up as a random list in dire need of a good file-clerk. [3 July 1987]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  76. Like Jerry Springer, it's loaded with class bias, offering a condescending fantasy that sees the poor as exotically grotesque, promiscuous, violent, and spiritually doomed. [17 Oct. 1997, p.D9]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  77. Unfortunately, it has the model of the 1939 film to remind us how lacking in delight this version is.
  78. Ronan, youthfully elegant as always, tries hard, but the material defeats her.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Star Trek III or The Search for Schlock: a mission that renders the eyelids heavy. What else can you say about a movie whose mechanically inept, gelatinous monsters out-act everyone on the screen and whose poignant moments are simply guffawful. Not to put too fine a Vulcan point on it, it was ba-a-a-d. [2 June 1984]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  79. Ready To Wear is certainly a disappointment, if not an outright flop. [27 Dec 1994]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    How many Oscar winners does it take to save the world? Red 2 gathers together a collection of lauded thespians – from A(nthony Hopkins) to (Catherine) Z(eta-Jones) – and leaves them to float on a sea of action-flick clichés.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Only adults with 'Smurf-holm syndrome' could love this film.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Despite gorgeous visuals from an army of Disney animators, the film is one of the weakest the studio has produced in years and deserved a bargain-bin DVD release.
  80. Within this bloated fantasy hodgepodge, there are few grace notes: In the role of the creepy fortune teller, Madame Dorothea, CCH Pounder is evil fun. And a few special effects, including a Rottweiller who turns into a skinned hellhound, leave an impression. Otherwise, Mortal Instruments manages to occupy 130 minutes of frantic, numbing, activity.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    There isn’t a single genuinely sharp sequence in the entire movie. The casting of Robert De Niro as an ex-Mafioso hiding in witness protection is witty in only the silliest, most superficial way. It’s a joke with its own tinny, built-in laugh track.
  81. Somewhere in literary afterlife, dear reader, Jane Austen has just rolled over and reached for her musket.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Johnny Knoxville is now 42, and he’s clearly torn. He still wants to be a Jackass, but in a movie with an actual story that offers something even slightly more substantive than cringing at other people’s self-inflicted pain and humiliation.
  82. Everyone in the movie, of course, is anxious to see these comeback seniors beat each other up, except, perhaps, the viewing audience.
  83. Anyone interested in the contemporary debate between atheists and religious believers will gain nothing of value from the documentary The Unbelievers.

Top Trailers