The New York Times' Scores

For 9,703 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 4% same as the average critic
  • 47% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 3 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 White Material
Lowest review score: 0 Equilibrium
Score distribution:
9,703 movie reviews
  1. In the end, it taketh — your time, patience and faith in newly imagined dystopias — more than it giveth.
  2. For a would-be skin-and-horror treat, though, Cam2Cam is surprisingly prudish. It doesn’t really traffic in sex; the camera mostly averts its gaze from the murders, preferring blood spatter patterns; and the acting is predictably wooden.
  3. Enervatingly synthetic, The Strange Color of Your Body’s Tears slices and dices the images and tropes of Italian giallo-style slasher films into an inert pile of style.
  4. This quivering effort from the director John Erick Dowdle only increases in impenetrability whenever anything mildly curious occurs.
  5. Hilary Brougher’s Innocence (based on Jane Mendelsohn’s 2000 novel) moves to the formulaic beats of the second-rate TV movie, albeit one cloaked in an ultra-glossy sheen.
  6. There is almost nothing here that you haven’t seen a dozen times before, and even the surprises feel flat and familiar. More dispiriting still is that this drab complacency is wrapped around messages of daring, honesty and spontaneity.
  7. Mumbly dialogue, relentlessly jittery camerawork, a star who is also co-director and co-writer: Yes, it’s time for another movie that mistakes the claustrophobic world of young New York artsy types for something interesting.
  8. The Hero of Color City cannily distills the children’s movie to its lowest common denominator: bright colors flashing on screen.
  9. The narration promises surprises (“This story may challenge what you think you know about the roles men and women play in Mormon homes”), but the movie might have started by examining its straw-man conception of the audience.
  10. Various secrets come dribbling out... They add up to a sprawl of narrative that is as unconvincing as the suspiciously sprawl-free, nostalgia-tinged town where it all takes place.
  11. The actors are uniformly handsome and mostly serviceable, though the same can’t be said about the filmmaking or the writing.
  12. Rudderless, the misbegotten directorial debut of William H. Macy, is so dishonest, manipulative and ultimately infuriating that it never recovers after its bombshell revelation two-thirds of the way into the movie.
  13. What Ouija lacks in wit and originality, it makes up in volume — a trademark of the “Transformers” director Michael Bay, who is one of the producers.
  14. This shockingly flabby effort from Mr. Anderson — who, in features like “The Machinist” (2004) and “Session 9” (2001), showed a much surer hand with oppressive atmospheres and troubled psyches — feels as nutty as its characters.
  15. With its fusty air and glumly earnest performances, this unnecessary reminder of Steven Spielberg’s soppy 2011 staging of another of Mr. Morpurgo’s novels, “War Horse,” is about as entertaining as trench mouth.
  16. Jessabelle is depressingly rote.
  17. Mr. Leguizamo, 50, still has charisma, but with his maniacal stage persona barely seen and the themes recycled from earlier projects, Fugly! is a dud.
  18. Unevenly directed by Isaac Feder, Sex Ed droops.
  19. This is crudely mounted, earnest advocacy, getting its points across at any cost.
  20. Saving most of its special-effects pennies until the final five minutes, Hangar 10 struggles to build a science-fiction movie from little more than a ghost of an idea and an infamous location.
  21. Smothered by a storm of visual tics — and the tiniest of nods to “Rear Window” (1954) — any social commentary takes second place to multitasking gimmickry.
  22. Saving Christmas seems determined to win any perceived war on Christmas through brute force.
  23. A pretty young actress. A casting call. A private meeting with the lecherous man who has the power to give her the role. Starry Eyes tries to wring a horror movie out of this tired old setup but, halfway in, seems to realize it has nothing new to offer and becomes a mere gorefest.
  24. This is a movie that runs on magical thinking.
  25. All Relative, a tepid romantic comedy written and directed by J. C. Khoury, thinks it’s being surprising, but really it’s merely weaving several male sex fantasies together and making nothing insightful out of the resulting story.
  26. This superficial movie plays like a fashion shoot with robes.
  27. After the Fall belongs to a type of movie that is too lazy to connect the dots and fill in the blanks between its supposedly teachable moments.
  28. The Captive seems tailor-made to explore the psychological damage that a child can suffer over a lengthy confinement, but instead leans too heavily on the chilly desolation of Paul Sarossy’s cinematography. What’s going on in the victim’s mind, or anyone else’s, is as invisible as what lies beneath the snow.
  29. The logistics of raising money and securing permits for the cause are not the most compelling or irreverent subject. The movie’s goal is straightforward advocacy.
  30. The cast would have been better served by a middle school production overseen by a creatively frustrated, inappropriately ambitious drama teacher than by this hacky, borderline-incompetent production, which was directed by Will Gluck from a screenplay by Aline Brosh McKenna.
  31. It’s like a gently distressed company film blown up to feature length.
  32. Even pretensions toward the humorous and hip cannot save this blood-drenched film from its innate tastelessness.
  33. The aesthetic of Full Frontal is as rough and grainy as the off-the-rack digital video in which much of it was shot.
  34. A supernatural soap opera.
  35. The picture is so predictable that the bad acting becomes a distraction.
  36. This bloated spectacle has all the get-up-and-go of one of the legendary late-era Elvis Presley concerts. The picture feels longer than Presley's career and as irrelevant as he was by the end.
  37. Still never having to say you're sorry.
  38. Like many of the nonpolitical terrorist-as-villain spectaculars that have been held back after Sept. 11, has the whiff of something gone stale. Though it may have sat on the shelf for a while, this project had gone bad long before it was released.
  39. Almost creates a sense of dread as you sit watching its raft of aimless, self-absorbed neurotics clang into one another.
  40. Light on originality and low on suspense though high on design and special effects.
  41. The ending is meant to be clouded with ambiguity, but really it is unequivocally happy because it means the movie is over.
  42. Vacillates between cutesy Disney-style anthropomorphism and "Born Free" exoticism.
  43. Manages to squeeze in several different endings — like a bad pop song that doesn't know when to fade out. But as Mr. Schwarzenegger's stature as an action figure diminishes, his effort to retain a piece of the market is touching.
  44. So clogged with kooky gadgetry and special effects and glitter and goo that watching it feels like being gridlocked at Toys "R" Us during the Christmas rush.
  45. Though it sets out to explain why this marriage is worth saving, The Story of Us could prompt even single members of the audience to file for divorce.
  46. In the end, Loser disappoints.
  47. Blends the least of Woody Allen with a plot complication out of "Love, American Style," stuck together with sitcom glue.
  48. The movie version overflows with affection and good intention, but unwittingly turns a bauble of cheerful fakery into something that mostly feels phony.
  49. Ottman doesn't have the firm grasp of tone necessary to make his deliberate ambiguities seem other than simple confusion, nor the sense of humor necessary to turn the deliberate clichés into effective satire.
  50. The Glass House is hardly insane, just absurd, and the only damage it does is to itself.
  51. In films, as in the ring, heart and will without exceptional talent don't produce winners.
  52. This violent meatball western deserves to be forgotten quickly.
  53. One long, 1980s-style inspirational cliche.
  54. Ultimately as sycophantic as it is needling.
  55. About 20 minutes in, it is clear that the couple will emerge as nothing more than crabby yuppies whose articulation of their pouts sounds like the same argument over and over again.
  56. As tightly plotted as a standard French farce.
  57. A shell game passing as entertainment.
  58. A weak-witted comedy.
  59. The film falls far short of its goals, but it is a classic of sorts. It belongs in that Blockbuster on Mount Olympus, where pristine new copies of "I Changed My Sex," "Dracula's Dog," "Blackenstein" and "Battlefield Earth" play constantly.
  60. Stardom makes its metaphor of 15 minutes seem like a lifetime.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    Fails both as arrested-development farce and as teen-age romantic comedy.
  61. A listless and desultory affair.
  62. Mr. Baldwin's attack -- there's no better way to put it -- is unforgettable. He's the first shrunken narrator with a serial killer's swagger.
  63. This misty-eyed Southern nostalgia piece, in treading the line between sappy and sanguine, winds up mired in tear-drenched quicksand.
  64. Deteriorates into a gory shoot-'em-up gangster movie with a quick-fix ending that leaves many threads dangling. It could have been something more.
  65. Instead of suspense, there is confusion; instead of intrigue, a lot of inexplicable confrontation among characters whose significance is not so much enigmatic as obscure.
  66. The director has fallen into the common first-timer's trap of biting off more than he can chew, stitching together an unwieldy, disorganized story out of subplots and flashbacks, without paying enough attention to the basic requirements of character and narrative.
  67. "Ouch!" is also what you might exclaim as you pinch yourself to stay awake through the film's slow, labored contrivances.
  68. You have to admire the effort its attractive cast expends pumping life into stilted, flowery dialogue that confuses pretentious attitudinizing with profound insight.
  69. If the film were a fight, they'd have stopped it.
  70. Shot in smeary video, it sports the static, by-the-book camera work of a daytime soap-opera.
  71. Even by the crude standards of teenage horror, Final Destination is dramatically flat.
  72. It's hard to take Passion seriously because it brings to mind the kind of shallow psychology that wouldn't be out of place in a history short about Sigmund Freud on "ABC Schoolhouse Rock."
  73. In a culture apparently defined by lap dancing, ersatz architectural sublimity and the virtual contact of cyberspace, how do we know what is real? The Center of the World, for example, is as phony as can be.
  74. Brain-dead.
  75. Despite its occasional flashes of brilliance (every Rudolph film has them), this unsavory stew never comes to a boil.
  76. Silly, heavy-handed film.
  77. Begins to seem not so much an examination but an exploitation.
  78. Are they fools or heroes? Because the movie can't decide, neither can we. And without an emotional payoff, Play It to the Bone ends up stranded in serio-comic limbo.
  79. The film is dominated and destroyed by Mr. Cage's chaotic, self-indulgent performance. He gives Peter the kind of sporadic, exaggerated mannerisms that should never live outside of acting-class exercises.
  80. Everything in this film is forgettable, right down to bongos pounding on the soundtrack to indicate a quickening of the pulse.
  81. What should be a soufflé of gender-bending mischief is more like a bowl of oatmeal.
  82. Rarely has a movie worked so hard to be so inconsequential.
  83. The cast never has much chance to shine. And the main attraction is kept all too understandably under wraps.
  84. The worst flaw of Willard is a clunky tone-deaf screenplay based on Gilbert Ralston's original and updated by the director. Barely a line flies by that doesn't land with a wooden thud.
  85. Turns into a meticulously choreographed bang-by-the-numbers action fantasy that I would accuse of peddling evil if the film weren't so dumb and incoherent.
  86. Terminally scatterbrained gangster farce.
  87. Comes off as noisy and ill conceived, long on morphing monsters, short on storytelling talent and uneven in its efforts at animation.
  88. When it comes to father, sons and mob life, stick to "The Godfather."
  89. Can a feature-length movie be built on minutiae like jammed copying machines, unsent business letters and orientation programs for new employees? This innocuous wisp of a film, as weighty as a scrap of fax paper caught in an updraft, suggests that the answer is no.
  90. All this is bizarre without being funny. [7 Jan 1994, p.C12]
    • The New York Times
  91. Does occasionally rise out of the sewer of its self-imposed idiocy, ascending in brief moments from utter witlessness to half-witlessness, mostly thanks to the loose comic byplay between Mr. Black and Mr. Zahn.
  92. The action is the best thing in the picture.
  93. In this elongated, formula-ridden sitcom posing as a movie, the date-weary Manhattan singles exchanging acerbic banter suggest the tougher, far less intellectual offspring of Woody Allen characters drenched in a whiny Seinfeldian dyspepsia.
  94. Ms. Paltrow is not the only star in the film who tries gamely to churn this cinematic glass of diluted skim milk into something resembling butter.
  95. A murky ecclesiastical horror film, may be the nadir of the subgenre that produced "The Exorcist" (at its high end) and "Stigmata" (at its middle-to-low end).
  96. May lead to a new axiom: success has many fathers, but failure has "Project Greenlight."
  97. You can't get more high-concept, or less plotted, than this, and Daddy Day Care is proof.
  98. It's the central story that's lacking.
  99. The delicate magic of, for instance, Hayao Miyazaki's "Spirited Away," which Disney released earlier this fall, is absent from this brainless, mechanical picture.

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