USA Today's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
For 3,375 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 61% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 36% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.8 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 62
Highest review score: 100 Enough Said
Lowest review score: 0 Idle Hands
Score distribution:
3,375 movie reviews
  1. A cheesy crock of religious mumbo jumbo.
    • USA Today
  2. One of the most violent opening scenes in screen history…Yet given such a visually adept exercise, the rest seems transparently off-the-cuff. There are obese trailer-camp porn stars, heavenly visions, a climactic rendition of Love Me Tender and no-point references to The Wizard of Oz - all of which top this two-hour farrago like a soggy tarp. [17 Aug 1990, Life, 4D]
    • USA Today
  3. If you value your time and money, find an escape clause and avoid seeing this trite, predictable rehash. The 90 minutes could be better spent doing holiday shopping.
  4. Earth to Earth's young director, Mark Piznarksi : It's tough turning straw into gold, isn't it?
    • USA Today
  5. Leaves a bad taste, not only because of its bad-luck timing, but also the staleness of its script.
  6. Don't put yourself through this hell.
  7. Less a movie than a mind-numbingly dull road trip.
  8. The real shocker is how many grown men it took to conceive and write this lamebrained tale.
  9. A glossy wisp of a cautionary tale.
    • USA Today
  10. The best actor in Snow Dogs is a glowering Siberian husky named Demon. In fact, all the dogs in the movie do a better job than their human counterparts.
  11. Can't stars attract better scripts than this?
    • USA Today
  12. A cynical sex comedy that manages to be infantile and jaded at the same time.
    • USA Today
  13. This is about Meg. Only about Meg. Meg in the Middle.
    • USA Today
  14. It would appear that director Scott Kalvert never met a cliché he didn't like. No telegraphing is too obvious or simplistic for this movie.
    • USA Today
  15. Someone has seen "Trainspotting" too many times, and it's writer/director Justin Kerrigan.
    • USA Today
  16. One of those movies that goes for a jarringly new emotion every 30 seconds or so while the story's foundation is collapsing.
  17. Love Stinks is what bad network TV comedy would be like if there were no censorship and less talent.
  18. Calling a cave of rocks home while spouting invective worthy of the Juilliard attendee he once was, homeless-by-choice Samuel L. Jackson worms his way into one of the least compelling mysteries in years.
    • USA Today
  19. A mongrel of a movie.
    • USA Today
  20. Audiences everywhere will tune out long before the projector does.
    • USA Today
  21. As buddy pics go, this is pretty much not even worth a single look, let alone a double take.
  22. Neither the actors nor their characters engender much affection.
    • USA Today
  23. The actors take a back seat to computer-generated demonic images and apocalyptic special effects.
    • USA Today
  24. Unless you have a craving to watch a sluggish Ski-Doo race or want to admire Chase dressed as a hula dancer, consider this the cinematic equivalent of yellow snow.
  25. Vile, violent and less hip than it thinks it is.
  26. Sometimes laughably incoherent.
    • USA Today
  27. Begins sinking in the shallow end almost at once.
    • USA Today
  28. When movies have degraded to the point that Tyson is acting more than Quentin Tarantino is directing, maybe it is time for an industry shutdown, strike-induced or otherwise.
  29. The young Pigeon turks who no doubt think they've made a hip black comedy should be forced to see it in a theater of non-sycophants, where only an occasional exasperated exhale signifies the audience isn't dead yet. [25 Sept 1998]
    • USA Today
  30. Life is a crock -- or something like it.
  31. This movie is a howler as well -- possibly even intentionally -- but if it is a black comedy, the joke is overextended by far too many arms and legs. [19 March 1999, Life, p. 13E]
    • USA Today
  32. No disinfectant could clean up this misbegotten, Americanized remake of "Les Visiteurs."
  33. Holmes, of Dawson's Creek, will be up the creek if she can't avoid movies like this. And so will you if you see it.
  34. It ends up choking on a never-ending stream of inept gags... A worst-case scenario of wackiness gone out of whack. [24 May 1991]
    • USA Today
  35. Live dies around the time Carpenter allows 10 minutes of gratuitous Piper-David eye-gouging, an apparent bone to wrestling fans. Forget the amusing premise; a full crate of magic glasses couldn't make this a bearable movie. [7 Nov 1988]
    • USA Today
  36. The story doesn't clarify why the dragons hibernated for hundreds of years, nor why they awakened. Clearly, however, the filmmakers might have benefited from more sleep before penning the script.
  37. As a condescening moron who natters on non-stop in this simplistic comedy, Elliott doesn't just wear out his welcome, he nukes it. [14 Jan 1994]
    • USA Today
  38. When it comes to being brainless, The Skulls is at the head of the class.
    • USA Today
  39. This is not only unsuitable for children, it's a colossal waste of time at any age.
  40. The movie runs just 80 minutes, but it's enough time for doldrums to set in when nifty special effects and funny verbal exchanges are out grabbing a smoke. [19 Feb 1993, Life, p.5D]
    • USA Today
  41. It's a dated effort.
  42. Don't buy a ticket for this one, even if the theater is having a fire sale on Raisinets.
  43. Fun for less than 30 of the 80-minute running time.
    • USA Today
  44. Don't say you weren't warned. There are instant clues that this ill-timed Michael Douglas vehicle is a dually unfortunate viewing experience.
  45. Interspersed between the misogyny and flatulence jokes apparently left over from Pooh's co-written script for "Friday," there's a story about an ex-con.
    • USA Today
  46. Close your eyes during this miserable romantic comedy.
  47. This road-trip piffle is basically a male version of a chick-bonding flick.
    • USA Today
  48. Myopic Whitey, continually passed over for a lifetime achievement athletic award, bears a passing resemblance to Columbia's all-time No. 1 animated star, the nearsighted Mr. Magoo. It's nice to think that if he ever went to this movie, he wouldn't be able to see it.
  49. A substandard ebony-and-ivory buddy pic.
    • USA Today
  50. The concept is so hypocritical, it's like Britney Spears calling Christina Aguilera underdressed and overexposed.
  51. xXx
    All you get here for paid admission is a long and terrific avalanche scene -- state of the art, no question. Then it's over and ready to melt away, much like memories of this movie.
  52. A pathetically dumb attempt to string a bunch of second-rate skits together like a garland of rotten cranberries.
    • USA Today
  53. If "You've Got Mail" jangled your nerves with its Starbucks-fueled cuteness, here's a romance that goes down like instant decaf. [15 January 1999, Life, p.18E]
    • USA Today
  54. A quagmire that reportedly has undergone multiple edits to reach its current incomprehensible state.
    • USA Today
  55. The script, based on a novel by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, is deeply dumb, depressingly derivative (ripping off "Planet of the Apes" the most) and just plain nonsense.
    • USA Today
  56. Though it's only 90 minutes, the film drags, making these not-so-easy riders pretty tough to watch.
  57. Clumsy urban thriller.
  58. A moviegoer's only defense against Jason is to avoid theaters showing this gruesome and derivative movie.
  59. Except for a brief episode in which singer Chris Isaak and Kiefer Sutherland make like an FBI Rocky and Bullwinkle, this is a morbidly joyless affair. You'll feel as drained as one of Cooper's mugs of joe watching homecoming queen Laura drown in a whirlpool of sex and drugs. [31 Aug 1992]
    • USA Today
  60. Anyone who sees this movie is going to be 20 minutes ahead of it, though there won't be that many after Weekend 1. With domestic disturbances, someone calls the cops. With this DOA, someone had better call the coroner.
  61. Too much. The hackneyed story about an affluent damsel in distress who decides to fight her bully of a husband is simply too overdone.
  62. I cry for I Spy— or I would if this latest and laziest imaginable of all vintage-TV spinoffs were capable of engendering an emotional response of any kind. Comas are physical, not emotional.
  63. One has to wonder about the mind-set of a middle-aged filmmaker who repeatedly seeks out material about amoral and promiscuous teenagers with little to say.
  64. Even if this movie wasn't based on a computer game, Starship Troopers' reputation would still have just shot up another 50 notches. [19 March 1999, Life, p.11E]
    • USA Today
  65. Burdened with so many poky scenes that it approaches the level of the distributor's "Drowning Mona" and "Whipped," both candidates for the year's worst.
    • USA Today
  66. When the most notable thing a film offers is the sight of Dennis Farina in drag, you can't expect much.
  67. A nose-bleeding mass murderer wears a mask that suggests Roger Ebert is knocking off a group of lifelong female friends.
    • USA Today
  68. When it's not aspiring, unsuccessfully, to satirize the world of metallica, Rock Star veers into even drearier territory and becomes a head-banging, sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll version of "A Star Is Born."
  69. Goo oozes without mercy in A Walk to Remember.
  70. Really just an update of the kind of hapless grade-Z effort that once played the bottom half of a drive-in double bill.
    • USA Today
  71. The only thing a movie this unrefined needs is a vaudevillian in baggy pants and someone hawking peanuts in the aisle.
  72. Too bad the movie didn't take its own advice and risk coming up with a fresh story.
  73. Kevin Smith shows up briefly as a lab technician in the miserable Daredevil, and that's a pity. This is a movie that desperately needs the presence of Smith's trademark sidekicks Jay and Silent Bob, with Smith as Bob, ragging worse than ever on his old pal Ben Affleck.
  74. Sitting through the teen skateboard comedy Grind is, well, a grind.
  75. Each actor does his own thing for his own audience demographic.
  76. You can always judge a sci-fi thriller by its aliens. What does Planet offer -- Space roaches.
  77. Romantic screwball comedies are supposed to be at least a little romantic, but there's no chemistry between Perry and Hurley.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Summer School is like summer school: you go, then quickly realize you would much rather be doing something else. [22 July 1987]
    • USA Today
  78. November is when we eat turkey, and Sweet November is pretty much a fat, juicy gobbler passed off as Valentine's Day date bait.
  79. Moore and Ford rise above the hackneyed story, infusing the proceedings with their own chemistry and appeal. If only the adults responsible for this film could learn how to deal.
  80. The scariest thing about this appalling and seemingly endless movie is that you paid for your ticket and now have to sit through it.
  81. OK, Time Warner, a joke is a joke, but the time of tolerance has passed. Get your creatures out of our faces unless you're willing to regale us by afflicting them with Mad Pokémon Disease.
  82. It's unclear why the writers bothered to update the cartoon, unless it was to expand the possibilities for quips and jokey ideas. If so, they failed in their mission, as the movie elicits few laughs.
  83. Steven Seagal's acting style is so minimal that we can almost believe a script that tells us that his character's near-death experience left him flatlined for 22 minutes.
  84. May be a spectacularly awful movie, but it's also spectacularly drenched in color, décor and other visual oh-la-la.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    The writing here is rarely funny, and often trite and predictable. A couple of scenes are downright disturbing:
  85. As late Christmas presents go, Reindeer Games is best left unwrapped.
  86. There's so little action or suspense that this Cell isn't too likely to multiply itself into a sequel.
    • USA Today
  87. You don't envy the three soldiers who get shot for desertion, but you do identify with their desire to flee.
  88. The murkiest-looking movie since Ben Affleck's “Daredevil” and about as lacking in charm.
  89. Appallingly mean-spirited.
  90. There are only so many times you can see a slow-motion kickboxing scene or a figure sail off a skyscraper before you want to spend a nice, cozy evening with the Dead Sea Scrolls.
  91. Those who sit through this mindlessness get the booby prize.
  92. The first one was silly fun, amusing and oddly inventive; the second is plodding, unfunny and almost cringe-worthy.
  93. Feels like a bad sitcom.
  94. Even the special effects alone aren't worth the price of admission.
  95. Can't decide what direction it's going in. Some of the time it seems to be a standard teen sex comedy. Occasionally, it appears to be spoofing the genre. It concludes on a romantic, almost honorable note.
  96. If Gooding can't get another "Boyz N the Hood" or "Jerry Maguire" soon, his career will need its own cork.
  97. It's problematic enough that the movie's lead characters are unlikable. But worse is the blackening of The Human Stain with a trite and forced plot, uninteresting digressions and clunky direction.
  98. This come-down of a series capper is so arch and pompous amid its clanks and collisions that you can only snicker at the verbal wind that obscures the din of marauding machinery.

Top Trailers