Review this tv show
Oct 10, 2011This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Haven is a small town with a case of "The Troubles". Unfortunately the troubles don't originate within the town but within the writing. Even the phrase "The Troubles" is painful. It's like something a loathed aunt would say to you if you had a stomach ache. It is almost as bad as the term "werepanther" from True Blood. Almost.
The story centers around 3 characters: An FBI agent, a local cop and a smuggler who investigate problems that arise in a port town of Maine. It sounds like a decent set up for television series but the characters are bland, they have no chemistry and the script is so nasty it continues to push you out of the story as you shake your head in shame and disbelief. At points in the series you can just see the anguish in the actor's faces as they have to work their way through scenes that make no sense within the story or their character.
The series feels like the writers have no one editing their work. No litmus test for realism or consistency. The characters swap love interests faster than a daytime drama, and that is no easy feat. By the end of the first episode Audrey is ready to leave the FBI behind to dive deep into Haven's mysteries. I could see it coming but it makes no sense. She has spent a lifetime becoming an FBI agent to throw it away on a photo a couple of news hacks show her. Who writes stuff like this? And every episode has gems like this.
After the third episode I actually decided to turn the show into a drinking game. Every time a character would say or do something stupid I would take a drink. There has yet to be an episode where I don't finish a beer.
I would say this show is a vision of the future when emotionless robots take over and write television dramas but that is an insult to robots since they must, by design, be logical and this show rarely achieves that.
Unless you are looking for a laugh, a drink or an example of writing gone horribly wrong skip this and tune into fringe or x-files reruns.… Expand
Sep 21, 2010http://tvtastic.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/haven-syfy-friday-1000-p-m/ As noted in the show description, SyFy's new show Haven is based on a Steven King 184 page novel titled The Colorado Kid. From what I read at iMDB before I saw the pilot, the title is one of the few things the show and the book actually share in common. The Colorado Kid was a departure from Stephen King's normal fare of the supernatural and just a straight-up mystery/crime novel. Haven is exactly the opposite and apparently it was this way at the direction of King himself who wanted this television version of his story to have a science fiction premise to it. That's really all the interesting information I can provide about this show because there really is nothing more interesting about it except for the fact that for some reason, out of all of the Stephen King stories, SyFy chose to make a series out of the one that was universally panned by the critics. Haven is what I like to call a poor-man's attempt at The X-Files except for instead of the cases taking place all over the country, all of these cases take place in small, mythical town of Haven, Maine, which I guess is just one big X-File. Unlike other attempts to capture the spirit of The X-Files while still remaining unique (such as FOX's Fringe or even SyFy's Warehouse 13) Haven makes absolutely no attempt to be original whatsoever. I've now watched 1.75 episodes (I was so annoyed by the second episode I turned it off early ) and all I've seen is poorly recycled and predictable plots from old X-Files episodes, a bunch of supporting characters that don't do a thing for me and a "who's-who" of Canadian character actor casting (which is the only reason occasionally one of them sounds like they might actually be from Maine).
Our leads are Agent Audrey Parker (Emily Rose) and Officer (Detective?) Nathan Wournos (Lucas Bryant) and let's just put it this way: they're no Scully and Mulder. They have absolutely no on-screen chemistry and neither one of their parts is very well-written. By the time I got halfway through the second episode, Butterfly, I wanted to punch Supercop (and I mean that literally... the character doesn't feel pain) Nathan right in the face. I think it's safe to say that one of the benchmarks for good TV is that you shouldn't want to punch the protagonist in the face by the second episode, so you can kind of see where all of this is headed. The only redeeming factor of Butterfly was the absolutely stellar performance by one of my favorite character actors of all-time, Stephen McHattie, who is better known to Star Trek fans as Senator Vreenak from arguably the best Trek episode ever made, Deep Space Nine's In the Pale Moonlight. But even McHattie's brilliant performance is not enough to save this dud of a series. Yes, this series is so bad that I have to throw in a Star Trek reference just to bring some level of excitement to an otherwise awful review experience.
I am very disappointed in Haven. When I watched the pilot, I wasn't very impressed but I wanted to give it another chance because there was so much buzz about it and it was so eagerly anticipated by SyFy (and Sci Fi) fans. Unfortunately, though, it didn't just not improve from the pilot to the second episode, it actually got much worse. The writing is lackluster and flat and the audience simply cannot empathize with any of the characters and I have to say that even by SyFy's standards, these are some of the worst CGI effects I've ever seen. The only reason I even gave it a 3 is because of McHattie. I'm sorry, but I simply have no time for bad TV.… Expand
Oct 13, 2013I've just finished watching Season 3 and would love to be able to rate it higher but for Mr. King's pervasive anti-Christian bigotry with which he once again taints an otherwise good storyline. If a character such as Reverend Driscoll ever existed anywhere but in the mind of Stephen King, they certainly were exposed & opposed by the majority of normal, decent, loving Christians whom Mr. King NEVER portrays in any of his stories.
Doesn't it seem strange, that in a town as big as Haven, there is only ONE church and minister representing Christianity?
Such cowardly cheap-shot mischaracterizations would not to be tolerated if it were directed at Muslims of Jews. As every member of the media and entertainment industry knows: You never want to speak ill of Islam...even if it is true...or you'll get the Van Gogh treatement. As for disparaging Jews... Well you'd just be cutting yourself off at the financial knee-caps.
No, Mr. King is no bold David taking on a malevolent juggernaut, but in fact a COWARD who has repeatedly chosen a "safe target he knows will not strike back in any fashion he needs to fear. So in short He is a Bully, and a bigoted one at that.
If Christians really were the miscreants of violence and intolerance he portrays them to be, his career would have been a short one.
Every artist has their signature within their work: It seems you can always know it's a Stephen King work if it's filled with vile, bigoted, mischaracterizations of Christians.
I think more honest people need to call him out on this: Bigotry and intolerance in any form has no place among us, and should not be rewarded.
My ratings reflect the good work of the actors/actresses, and others who made this series enjoyable despite Mr. King's hatefulness. Thank you.… Expand
The darker tone of Haven (including a haunting piano soundtrack) and reliance on paranormal, rather than technological, story elements form an ideal counterpoint to the wonkery of "Eureka."