Average User Score: 1.4Aug 20, 2013This game sucks. Let me get it out of the way right now. This is, without a doubt, the worst game of 2013 thus far.
That said, you must play this game, or watch a let's play of it. It's absolutely hilarious. Not worth $30 of your own money, but hilarious nonetheless.
Performance: Looks like an early-era PS2 game. The models are weird and blocky, textures are exceedingly horrible, and glitches pop up all over the place. Throw in random crashes, and just as random FPS dives, you have a game that one may consider, "Not very optimized and good looking". They're that bad.
Sound: About six or seven music tracks that repeat throughout the entire game. You'll grow bored with them quickly. The sound effects are weak, and makes it seem like you're hitting your foes with Nerf weapons. However, the saving grace is the hilariously bad voice acting.
The VA is Resident Evil 1 quality, and that's not entirely a bad thing. Just about every line in this game is read so awkwardly it's sure to bring a smile to your face.
Control: I won't be judging the game's control, as much as I'll be judging the lack of it. There are two "modes" in the game: When you're on a motorcycle, and when you're on foot.
On a motorcycle, the controls are hilariously bad. There's no physics, you awkwardly slide around on the bike, and the Powerslide move is...you just have to see it. What's not so hilarious is the combat on a 'cycle: To beat enemies, you have to mash a button until a bar is full, then they're instantly killed. Repeat about 10 times per section. It's not great.
On foot, you have full access to your weapons. You can point, shoot, and take cover, generic stuff, but you can also, like Dead to Rights: Retribution, mix it up with melee combat. And, just like in Dead to Rights: Retribution, it doesn't work very well.
Melee combat works like this: Preform the guard block on someone, mash the attack button, repeat. There's a counter mechanic, like Arkham Asylum/City, but it doesn't serve that much of a purpose, since most of the fist fights are painfully easy and repetitive.
Occasionally, the protagonist gets mad and makes a hilarious scream, and then preforms an insta-kill QTE that actually takes longer to kill the enemies as opposed to just hitting them. Worth seeing at least once.
Gunplay, well, it works. You can shoot things, but even the tutorial games developed in the Gamemaker engine can pull that off. The real issue is, a lot of the controls revolve around QTEs. That's not okay, at all.
Gameplay: You play as Jake Conway, the son of William Conway, who was part of a bike gang known as Retribution. Your brother was killed by a rival gang named The Devil's Hand, and Jake is out for revenge. Don't worry, the story doesn't get any deeper than this, and just about everyone has no character development at all.
With a storyline as simple as this, they certainly did a good job making it seem more complicated than it really is: The beginning of the game is nothing but a swarm of flashbacks, and it does a great job confusing you. However, the best part of this game are the cutscenes, with many of them making no sense, and all of them poorly done in a hilarious fashion.
The 'cycle segments are super repetitive, with the same dull combat all the way through. More excitingly, sometimes your bike will randomly explode, and you'll have to load from the last checkpoint.
On foot, enemies range from generic thin goons who take only a few punches/shots to take out, to Jason wannabes who are damn-near immune to everything. I wasted what seemed like fifty bullets, trying to take one out.
Supposedly, you have to destroy a barrel to kill them more efficiently, but doing so only screwed up my screen, and did damage to me. All the guns are boring, and the melee combat is spam-y as all get-out.
The boss fights are all gimmicks. The first one being you chasing him down on a bike, with a machine gun. You literally have no room for error, and every time you fail, it's all the way at the beginning of the segment. The checkpoints in this game are the worst I've seen in a while. You die, you're doing a 20-minute segment over again, more often than not.
After that, you have a 'town' where you can buy weapons and upgrade your bike. The bike upgrade system isn't bad, but it's completely pointless. There's not much else to do other than go to the next mission.
Oh, there are sex scenes, where you take the women of the Devil's Hand, after beating up their lovers. While fully clothed. There's even a five-on-one situation, where everyone is clothed. So don't worry, not only are they being blatantly sexist (every woman is there for sex), they're also being exceedingly stupid.
This was originally gonna be a sandbox game, like GTA. And I like the ideas it had. A year after that, they rushed it after realized they didn't either have the ability or the time, and we get this glitchy, barely playable mess. Hilarious to watch, but don't buy it yourself.… Expand
Average User Score: 1.3Aug 2, 2013Warcraft. Starcraft. Age of Empires. Stronghold. These are but a few RTS games you should play instead of this tripe. This is amongst the worst experiences one could ever hope for.
Preformance: Warcraft 3 looks better than this game, and that was released in 2003. Everything is in washed out colors, your units are sometimes the same color as the terrain (God help you if your peasants are ever on dirt. You may never see them again), there's little animation to the models, and the special effects look excessively dated.
Not willing to settle with just looking bad, Citadels takes the extra step to be incompetent from a technological standpoint. If you do ANYTHING, the frame-rate dives. I went from 60 to 20, just by dragging a wall that wasn't even built yet.
The game is exciting, however, in the way that it crashes at random. It seems that if I do anything, there's an RNG going in the background that decides if the game crashes or not. Absolutely dreadful.
Sound: Weak sound effects with even weaker, rather unfitting music. Worse, all of your units speak a Celtic language (I believe) due to it taking place in King Arthur's era. While historically accurate, it kind of takes something away when I can't understand what anyone's saying! They should of made it an option!
You'll probably turn the sound off and replace it with something else within a few moments.
Control: A good RTS needs good control. Hotkeys, clear indications of what things mean, smooth unit control for macro and micromanagement, quick camera control...this game has none of these.
First, no hotkeys, at least, none I was able to discover. You want to quickly build a shack? Nope. You'll have to click it all the way through. Want to build some quick defenses? Gonna have to get clicky with it. The lack of hotkeys already makes the controls miserable, but it's only the beginning.
There are no tooltips, either. For anything. You'll never know what anything does except through trial and error, and even then, you likely still won't understand anything that is happening. This is only made worse by the massive amount of resources in the game.
Population, Wood, Iron Ore, Stone, Stone Blocks, Planks, Gold, Weapons...there's so many things to keep track of, and I don't know where most of it even comes from! You automatically seem to collect gold, although I was unable to find out how, or where.
Everything else, you have to look for, which brings me to another fatal flaw: Outside of wood, you'll never find any of the resources. They blend in with the environments, and they don't show up on your minimap. This means you will likely be stuck without any way to upgrade your troops, as you'll be spending ages running around, trying to find ore or stones hidden throughout the landscape.
The unit control is especially dreadful: Pathfinding is almost nonexistent, sometimes they just flat-out won't follow your orders, and for macromanagement, if you try to drag your mouse to select more than one unit, it takes a while for it to register, making on-the-dot macromanagement impossible.
Unit creation is a pain as well: Peasants aren't only for building structures, they can also be trained to be fighters, which you then send en-masse to a training camp or shooting range, depending on what you want them to be. It's a sloppy way to handle unit creation, as you have to be careful with how many you send.
Building structures sucks. Doesn't matter if you have the resources to build something, if you start building something, the peasant will have to run back to your town hall, get the supplies, and THEN start building. This gets really annoying when building defenses.
Finally, only basic camera controls. You can't have the camera follow a unit, and you can't have it shoot back to your base if under attack.
The control list only shows 5 things. Everything else is unexplained. It's not great.
Gameplay: As basic as it gets. Grab supplies, build town, build troops, kill other towns. However, it can't even pull this off properly.
The AI is flat-out incompetent. It will constantly spawn weak units, and then simply spaz out. Rarely do they ever really attack. You can't ever upgrade anything until you finally find the supplies you need. Ranged units are useless because if the target moves, just a little, the arrows are guaranteed to miss. Everything is extremely slow and sluggish. It's a struggle to stay focused on the game for even 20 minutes.
You can only build structures so fast, seeing how you need an army of peasants to build something at even a decent rate. You'll have to build shacks (gives population) one at a time. It makes no sense!
Don't worry, though, you won't have to suffer with it for long: The game crashes so often, that you'll rarely get a full game in. I haven't even beaten the tutorial yet because of this, and the game doesn't auto-save your progress.
This game isn't finished. We're paying $40 to test a game for these people. Absolutely horrible.… Expand
Average User Score: 5.4Jun 28, 2013(EDIT: I was informed on how to delete gladiators. It's where you change your equipment, instead of the roster. That is exceedingly stupid, so my score remains the same, and it's stupid that I have to do that to, again, PROGRESS in single player.)
Now, I don't watch Spartacus, but I am a huge fan of gladiatorial fights, and this seemed great: A free-to-play fighter where you can customize your own Gladiator to fight their way to the top, and bring glory to your House!
Graphics: The models look pretty nice, but the environments, crowds, and the sun (which is the worst) look a generation old. The cutting effects on your models would be cool if they weren't the same ones, over and over again.
Sound: Ignorable. Everyone seems to have the same voices, and the music is so generic that you'll forget it exists.
Control: These were alright. You have light attacks, heavy attacks, grabs, and Pathtration attacks (guard breaks). You can preform different combos and attacks by either moving the Left analog stick in different directions when attacking, or mixing attack buttons.
You can guard, and also roll, to evade or assault foes, and you can also taunt by...pressing Down on the D-Pad? Why? The Triggers aren't even used for this game, why couldn't Taunt be up there, where it's more convenient?
Gameplay: You start the game by playing a tutorial fight as Spartacus, where it teaches you the controls (outside of the Taunt button for some reason). Then, you play as the head of a House, and you are given a free slave to use as a gladiator. Equip him to fight, and earn money and glory for your House.
Single player is nothing but one-on-one fights with various opponents. There's normal fights, where you fight randomly generated enemies for Silver coins and Fame (Experience). As you level up, new gear is unlocked, which you then purchase with your Silver. There is a cooldown between doing the same Normal Fight, so you can't cheese it up and grind Silver/Fame quickly.
Then there's Primus Fights, which are against the same named foes. Each one has their unique combat style. Defeating these foes will allow you to earn Perks, which give you various effects, such as resisting Grab attacks, or damage buffs. You can only have one Perk at a time, so you have to make your choice count, and you can't re-fight Primus Fights: If you decline a Perk, it's gone for good.
As you win Primus Fights, you unlock further Primus Fights, leading up to the Boss Fight of the district. There are a total of six different districts to fight in, some varying in difficulty. You repeat this progress throughout the entirety of the single game. There's nothing else except Online.
This wouldn't be so bad, if the fights didn't start feeling very repetitive and boring after the first one. While you can vary your combos and attacks, there's never any reason to. You'll either stick to your quickest, or longest range attacks, and only mix it up with low, sweeping attacks if an enemy is laying on the ground.
One thing that tries to mix fights up is the ability to Execute your foes. If you happen to have a full Crowd Meter, you will be able to press any attack button to brutally kill them. Attacking and Taunting builds your meter, but it's almost impossible to get it filled up unless you have an absolutely flawless fight, as any inactivity will cause it to decrease rapidly.
So you repeat this cycle: Fight, buy new gear, which isn't cosmetic: Gear gives you better stats, and, of course, the later gear is always better. Repeat over and over. It would be fine if the game would just be a grind, but it gets much worse.
First, Pay to Win. This game is that. You have the option to spend real money on Gold Coins, which can be used to purchase gear WELL beyond your current level. Doing this gives you a very distinct advantage. In addition, you can spend Gold on power-ups that are absolutely UNOBTAINABLE by Silver, giving you an even larger advantage.
I will not play multiplayer, even if it worked properly (it doesn't), because of this. This is not how you do "Free" business models. The gear should be cosmetic, not give other players blatant advantages!
Then, there's getting new Gladiators. Each Gladiator has a certain weapon skill, like Sword and Shield, Duel Daggers, etc. This means you can buy new Gladiators to have a variety of weapon styles, but some Primus Fights require a specific weapon skill!
Early in the game, there is a Primus Fight that requires Duel Daggers. You cannot check this beforehand: You have to wait until you have the fight unlocked to check requirements. Before this, I bought a Two-Handed Sword Gladiator, who I thought was awesome. I also had a Sword and Shield Gladiator.
Because of the fight restriction, I either had to grind 3,360 Silver Coins for more character slots, or delete one of my Gladiators. This is a severe design flaw that needs fixed ASAP.
Overall, a great idea, horrible execution. I'd rather pay $60 for a better experience.… Expand
Average User Score: 7.2Apr 11, 2013Terraria is oftentimes referred to as the "2D Minecraft", and left at that. While this is true, it's also...so much more, and I feel this was why Minecraft radically changed it's game.
Graphics and Performance: Very clean 2D visuals, with virtually no slowdown, except in the most extreme of circumstances. The environments are very nice and detailed, and react to how you interact with them appropriately. The only complain I have are the animations: There's hardly any on the monsters, most of them may as well be still images.
Sound: Relaxing music is a given, but the sound effects are pretty good. All the enemies have their own sound effects, and your weapons make correct sounds, too. If you have a flaming greatsword, you can hear the flames crackling off the blade as you swing.
Control: Overall, it's okay. Jumping can be a bit annoying until you get used to it, but once you get that down, you'll be gathering materials and chopping down monsters like a pro.
Gameplay: Compared to Minecraft, the basics remain the same: Take squares to put on top of other squares in order to build things, gather materials to craft items and gear in a randomly generated world, repeat ad-nausium. That hasn't changed. What has changed is about everything else.
Terraria plays like an Action RPG more than a sandbox game. There is a wide variety of enemies to fight, treasure chests to discover containing rare items, and even giant bosses to take down for rare materials and gear! Unlike Minecraft, where combat feels like an afterthought, it was very much thought of here.
The amount of gear in the game is just insane: Jet boots, grappling hooks, machine guns, speed boosters, meteor-summoning swords...just to name a few! It always feels like there's always something new to find and explore.
It actually reminds me of an old PS2 game I liked, called Dark Cloud. You can build up your town, and as you do, you summon NPCs to live there. These NPCs can heal your wounds, sell you gear and items, or provide helpful advice. The "town building" aspect gives you a motivation to actually build things as opposed to, "build it...just 'cause you can".
Not that there's a shortage of things to build. All kinds of decorations and crazy things you can set up, it's as diverse as the gear you can craft!
There are a few problems, though. The beginning of the game can be absolutely miserable. Once you go underground, you'll find yourself being murdered by enemies you stand no chance against, struggling to survive with your most basic of equipment. You'll fall down a horrible pit, and immediately die. You may run right into the Corruption right into the beginning of the game, and, again, die.
What is the Corruption? It's bad stuff. It slowly spreads around the world, bringing with it rather powerful enemies, deep pits, and thorns to impede your progress. It is interesting how it slowly spreads throughout the world, but running into it early is a death sentence.
This is a game you need to devote a lot of time into. It's not like Minecraft, where you can suddenly start building random stuff, dig a bit, and be like, "Oh, I found Diamond" and suddenly be godlike. You need a LOT of items in order to reach that stage, and this will take a lot of trial and error. If you aren't willing, or able, to invest a lot of time in this game (It takes hours just to start getting beyond the early-level caves), this may not be for you.
If you like building things, which this game does well, it, still, may not be for you. Minecraft has with it wayyy more building options, and, of course, it's in a 3D environment. This makes it way better if all you want to do is build structures, as you both have more to work with, and more in the way of options, such as crazy electronic devices.
However, if an action-packed time sink is what you're after, Terraria is a good jack-of-all-trades. It does a lot of things, and is a master of none of them, but it's a pretty solid experience overall. So much to explore and build, you'll spend weeks, STILL finding things about your first world that you didn't even know about, yet!
Try before you buy, but it really depends on what you like more: Combat and exploration, or building and exploration.… Expand
Average User Score: 1.6Apr 7, 2013Double Dragon 2: Wander of the Dragons. You know you're in for a treat when the title is in Engrish.
DD2 is an "updated" version of DD2: The Revenge, on the NES, and in the Arcade. How to begin? Let's start with the graphics. This is one of the ugliest downloadable games I've ever seen. The textures, models, special effects...all of them are done poorly. Even though the game looks ugly as all sin, it is PLAGUED with slowdown. The FPS drops to about half if there's so much as four other enemies on the screen with a bit of environmental clutter. There are cutscenes thrown around, and they look okay, compared to the actual game. It just makes you wonder why they couldn't put the same amount of effort into the actual graphics. What about the sound? I mean, Double Dragon is known for it's pretty catchy music. The tracks are horrible remixes of old DD tracks, and I mean, really horrible. Expect plenty of 5-10 second loops. The music in Stage 12 is amongst the worst things I've ever heard in my life. It is literally a 5 second loop of the same thing. Yup. Good decision, there. As for sound effects, expect boring hit sounds, the same groans and yells repeated throughout the entire game, nothing to distract you from the horrible music. Controls, oh boy. Know what a good brawler needs? Good, responsive controls. That's what separates good brawlers with bad ones. This has some of the worst control I've ever experienced in a video game. It feels that your inputs are just...dropped by the game at random, and if they're not dropped, they feel exceedingly delayed. You know you have a significant problem when the game pretends you aren't pressing buttons, but that's literally the least of the worries you will have playing this. Special attacks are done by holding RT and pressing A. The problem: It's hard to tell when you can actually use them, and for most special moves, the enemies seem to have more priority with their normal attacks than you. You will be knocked out of special attacks all the time. The HuD makes it exceedingly unclear when you can use special attacks, as well. There's also another cost to using the special moves, but we'll get into that later. Unlike most brawlers, you can attack and be attacked in all directions. You would think this would make attacking more flexible, but instead, enemies will surround you and kill you in mere seconds. As for defensive maneuvers, even the most basic one, running away, is done wrong. If you press the opposite direction you're facing, you will do a backwards hop instead of turning around. After a short delay, you will turn around, but it may already be too late by that point. You can block, and if you time a block in time with an enemy's attack, you can "Perfect Block" and parry the blow, but the timing on it is very difficult. The enemies attack quickly, and relying on this strategy is sure to cause you more pain than anything else. Now, the gameplay. At the beginning of the game, you play as Marian in a tutorial level, with a VA unable to read the same text that's on the subtitles. In the end, she's shot dead, and the game really begins. 95% of the game is you strolling down boring, non-interactive environments. Sometimes there's a random QTE that involves pressing one button, but other than that, repetitive brawling action at it's worst. You have a generous amount of continues, at least, and every time you continue, you release a powerful shockwave attack. Death abuse is the most potent offensive move in this game, and you'll be dying enough to take advantage of it. If you run out of continues, you have to start at the start of the stage you were on. Making the continues kind of pointless. As for enemies, there's three kinds. Male goons and female goons that look ugly and have the same attacks, large goons that will block a lot and deal a ton of damage with one combo, and the fat bosses, which you fight about four or so times. The fat bosses have a stamina meter. In order to damage them with normal attacks, you have to drain this meter, which always regenerates. Keep in mind, these bosses won't flinch while they have stamina. The only way around the stamina meter (which is stupid) is to use special attacks, or to death abuse, which is more likely, because they take off huge chunks of HP. Special attacks include the hurricane kick, a moving hurricane kick, a fireball, and a super combo. You can only hold one at a time, and remember the "hidden cost" i mentioned about special attacks? Well, if you use even -one- special attack in the whole game, you get the bad ending. Try beating this game without the special attacks. You'll smash your controller well before you beat the first boss. This game was once cancelled in 2011. With great games like Double Dragon: Neon out there, it should of stayed that way. This should be avoided at all costs. There's nothing good in this game, no online co-op, no interesting game modes. Nothing. Stay away!… Expand