Average User Score: 6.4Apr 11, 2014The only positive thing to come out of this DLC patch is we got to watch a few of the "pro" reviewers finally show some integrity and write an honest appraisal instead of rubber stamping a 1/10 game with a 9.5 solely based on its publisher. The party's over folks. It ended the day Activision took over, and now all that's left are some skid marks and half empty beer bottles on the front lawn.
You rabid fanboys can choke it down holding your nose and pretend it's the best thing you've ever tasted all you like... the jig is up. Blizzard as we knew it no longer exists, and will never return to its former glory. The rest of us should save our money and support some real development shops who actually listen to their fans and don't just polish turds for years, acting like they're innovating by remediating broken promises.
Blizzard already has your money for a game that was 10% of what it was supposed to be, and now are asking for 80% more just to move the game a baby step closer to what it should have been the first time. It would have been a far better long-term move to regain the trust and goodwill of the base they alienated by making this DLC available for free, the way Square-Enix did when they released a terrible game (FFXIV) then spent over a year redoing it and didn't make its players buy all the fixes as an "expansion". Then again, Square-Enix isn't run by Bobby Kotick.
Every publisher can make mistakes. It's how they deal with those mistakes and how they treat their customers that defines their place in the pantheon of gaming. Olympus has truly fallen.… Expand
Average User Score: 3.9Jan 13, 2014An unmitigated disaster.
I've tried evaluating the game on its own merits, though doing so is merely an exercise in reality denial for etiquette's sake. On that level, it lacks very basic RPG replayability features like skipping through dialogue, story variation, meaningful choices, environment randomization, and bosses more difficult than trash packs. On the plus side, Diablo has boobs. If this were brand new IP, I'd consider giving it 1 or 2 out of 10 for the fine graphic detail if nothing else.
As a chapter in the hallowed Diablo franchise, it goes from bad to unquestionably the biggest disappointment in the history of gaming. And I'm not even one of those who holds up D1 or D2 as the greatest games ever. Both had many flaws I considered gamebreaking and exasperating. But they both had that "it" factor. D3 has a variation of that... prefixed by "sh". The eerieness and danger of the previous games is completely absent. Godlike demons mock the player using taunts befitting a third grade playground. The whole experience feels cheap and rushed, especially the inane dialogue and awful voice acting. The only thing I can truthfully call an improvement over the prequels would be the cutscenes... too bad you have swim thirty laps through an olympic size pool full of raw sewage to get two minutes of fresh air.
I won't go so far as to cast aspersions on the pro reviewers over there regarding whether they were paid for that 88 metascore, but I do highly doubt they bothered playing the game more than a few hours before rendering their verdict. Indeed, D3 seems designed to let a reviewer check items off their rubric in Act 1, intentionally obscuring the fetid fecal matter lurking beneath. Act 1 even occasionally drops some useful, well-itemized loot, hinting that the rest of the game will follow suit. If only it were so.
What about that "Blizzard polish"? Wasted... on a micro transaction system of all things. I mean, if you're going to bollucks up something this badly, at least go for broke trying to innovate something people actually want. If you screw up trying to make it work with gesture control, or make too many abilities to choose from, or introduce a never before seen game mechanic, that's forgivable. But using paying customers and your most beloved brand to focus group test Bobby Kotick's microtransaction wet dream is just despicable on all levels.
So the game has just enough of that Blizzard polish to make it distinguishable from a Chinese F2P translated into broken English... great job team. Unfortunately the polish was spread unevenly, and it is abundantly clear that the lion's share of the development effort in this game went toward driving people to the RMAH after selling them a title undeservedly bearing the Diablo franchise name at full retail price. Not that it matters; the game is terrible with or without the RMAH. No amount of polish will bail you out if the core product is lacking the fundamentals. Ask the FFXIV developers... whose first attempt was still many orders of magnitude better than D3 and they were all fired.
I would be remiss if I did not address the always online DRM, the icing on this failcake. Those with satellite internet, rural DSL, or basically anyone outside of big cities in the first world with sub-50ms latency need not apply. Sounds like a good business plan to me. No, let's let everyone lag to hell because it's easier to not have to actually fix exploits and regulate the online community. But yeah, let's still have hardcore mode... nothing says skill like a reliable internet connection and dodging lag spikes. D3's sole innovation in the genre... showing the world to what extreme DRM brute force can be taken and still sell games on name recognition alone.
So let's pretend for one minute that the game isn't terrible. Let's pretend that it is the most awe-inspiring artwork of a game ever created or ever even imagined. Guess what... it still gets a 0. A Ferrari gets a 0/10 as a car, no matter how pretty it is or how fast it can theoretically go, if it won't bloody start. No one, and I mean no one, will ever make a single player RPG so good that they get to dictate how I play it or require that I let them watch my activity, lest I might try to steal something, AFTER I GODDAMN WELL PAID FOR IT. Arrogant, authoritarian nonsense like this makes me want to START botting and hacking just to piss them off, and I have never been even mildly tempted to do either.
D3 has succeeded in one thing however: converting a formerly wide-eyed, kid-in-a-candy-store, diehard fan of Blizzard's game craftmanship into a "never again" cynic, instantly suspicious of anything Activision (let's face facts... there is no Blizzard any more) will ever produce.
TLDR: You can polish a turd, but it's still a turd.… Expand