Average User Score: 7.0Dec 24, 2012I'm astounded at how many people are not angrier about how they screwed this one up. I created an account just so I could leave a review of how terrible this game is. I've been a HUGE fan of this series since Silent Assassin, but I Absolutely DESPISE Hitman: Absolution! Thank God I got it at a discount. I wouldn't have paid a cent for it had I known that they bastardized the whole series. There is nothing Hitman about this game or even remotely close to it. Everything that the series previously stood for has been taken out. Absolution is what those bastards at Eidos will need after making this game. I waited two years excitedly (That's how big of a fan I am) for this freaking game, and they pull this crap! Everything about the game is linear. AND BTW SINCE WHEN DID 47 START TALKING SO FREAKING MUCH?!?! Part of his charm was in the mystery and the fact that he so rarely talked in the previous games, and whenever he talked it was a cool one liner.
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH NO STORYLINE??!? We loved it. AND THE NEW DISGUISE SYSTEM??!? DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT. Every aspect of the prior games was like a few hours in heaven. Unlike other gamers I do NOT like the graphics. They glittered it up and used way too much of that blurry garbage. This game is a prime lesson on what happens when too much emphasis is put on looks and not the running mechanics. EVERY level has some type of glitch. I was just playing at the orphanage and one of the characters actually disappeared and I got into a ghostly fist fight and wound up dying because of the glitch. That is unacceptable and it shows that they rushed this game. EIDOS...YOU HAD SIX YEARS TO MAKE THIS GAME GOOD...WHAT WERE YOU MORONS DOING IN THAT TIME? This game is actually against stealth because it is near impossible to sneak around anymore because of the god awful disguise system. I used to have great fun dressing up as the mailman and knocking the maid down the staircase with a golf club in Silent Assassin. Which is another point I need to make...YOU CAN'T EVEN FREELY SWING WEAPONS ANYMORE! The mechanics of this game are paralyzed because you have to first get up close and then the action is performed rather dryly. PART OF THE FUN OF THE OLD GAMES WAS CHASING AFTER THE MAID WITH A GOLF CLUB AND TRYING TO SILENCE HER BEFORE SHE REACHED THE GUARDS. IF I WANTED TO PLAY SPLINTER CELL OR BATMAN OR ANY OF THOSE GAMES I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT THEM. This game is a prime example of what happens when game companies get greedy and just want the money. Evidence of that is how they made super short levels to make the level count look bigger. AND THE CHINATOWN LEVEL...THEY ACTUALLY RECYCLED IT TRYING TO PASS IT OFF AS A NEW LEVEL. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME EIDOS.
The elegance and rich classy atmosphere of the previous games were ruined by utter sh*t. The jokes of the characters having conversations are just cheap and stupid. I liked it better when they were not speaking English. At least that way I don't keep hearing this same boring old lines.
One lame joke was about suicide by beating himself with a wrench. "Really...bludgeoning yourself to death with a wrench...?" You've gotta be kidding me...we've fallen a long way, folks. All the way down to unrealistic toilet humor. We've fallen a long way from what used to be an intelligent and masterpiece game. If you have any real love for the Hitman series, then you will do yourself a huge favor and not support this blasphemy against the Hitman series. It is truly terrible, and I do NOT say that lightly. If ever a sin existed, it was creating this game like it had nothing to be proud of. Why the hell did they borrow so much from other games. The characters in the game feel stiff and lifeless. And I love how people automatically know how he is a hitman or they say him and say "Why you hiding?". Another thing that pisses me off about this game is how the lame stealth works. I mean really, you can't pacify an enemy when no one is around without the whole area somehow finding out about it. They talked about making this game more realistic, but I feel nothing in terms of this game being more realistic. In fact, I feel like the realism has taken a nosedive. EVERY character reacts the EXACT same way as the previous one when you get caught wearing a disguise, and believe me, YOU WILL GET CAUGHT THOUSANDS OF TIMES IF YOU DO NOT stealth around. Since WHEN did hitman stealth that way. Also, since when the HELL did agent 47 get a six pack and look so muscular....
HE DOESN'T NEED A SIX PACK HE'S A STEALTHY HITMAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Just more marketing BS. Eidos is trying to please the window lickers instead of the diehard, true fans of Hitman. Worshiping image over substance. Anyway, I should have known better than to buy this game when I heard they were messing with the mechanics and making it more linear. I will never buy another Hitman game again. Not unless they go back to what made hitman great.… Expand