Armageddon

Newsweek David Ansen

Armageddon is as irresistible as it's indefensible.

Chicago Tribune Michael Wilmington

It looks like a TV ad, or 200 of them strung together, with the same kind of gaudy virtuosity, lavish technique and expensive self-mockery tinging every shot.

LA Weekly Manohla Dargis

The movie is ridiculous, but since the special effects are really quite impressive, that seems a small point.

Washington Post Michael O'Sullivan

It might make you tense, it might make you nauseous, and its clangorous roar could well give you a migraine headache.

Slate David Edelstein

Armageddon is awesome, dude, but it's, like, short on awe.

The New Yorker Daphne Merkin

The surprisingly witty script was worked on by a squadron of writers, including Robert Towne.

Austin Chronicle Marc Savlov

It's big, it's stupid, it's pretty kick-ass.

ReelViews James Berardinelli

Armageddon is a testosterone and adrenaline cocktail, with almost no intelligence added for flavoring.

Dallas Observer Peter Rainer

When it's all over, you can't remember if you've been watching a movie or just a jumbo-sized coming attraction.

Film Threat Ron Wells

Sometimes the movie can't decide whether to tug REALLY HARD at the heart strings, or make you laugh at the zany oil riggers.

The New York Times Elvis Mitchell

The actors mark time, and the gung-ho heroics on display are embarrassingly hollow.

Entertainment Weekly Owen Gleiberman

Bay doesn't stage scenes, exactly -- he stages moments.

The Globe and Mail (Toronto) Liam Lacey

Trying to pick faults with a sound-and-spectacle juggernaut like Armageddon is like taking an ant gun to an elephant: All the movie's staggering conventional weaknesses -- ludicrous plot, weak characterization, incomprehensible staging and ambient racket -- are irrelevant.

TV Guide Maitland McDonagh

Yes, it's a testosterone cocktail, but at least it doesn't leave you feeling as though you've been tumbled around in a gem polisher for two-and-a-half hours.

The Onion (A.V. Club) Keith Phipps

Bay directs Armageddon in a way that seems more concerned with constantly assaulting the senses than anything else, hoping perhaps that the quick cuts and constant explosions will distract from his film's many flaws.

Los Angeles Times Kenneth Turan

Director Michael Bay's filmmaking style is so frantic and frenetic that it's often impossible to figure out exactly what is happening.

Christian Science Monitor David Sterritt

Armageddon may sell tickets, thanks largely to a high-powered marketing machine that's been conducting its own countdown for the past several months. But it's not a pretty picture.

Chicago Sun-Times Roger Ebert

An assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense and the human desire to be entertained.

San Francisco Chronicle Bob Graham

There are barrages of fast cuts to distract us from the fact that the director is showing us no real action.

Variety Todd McCarthy

Much of the confusion, as well as the lack of dramatic rhythm or character development, results directly from Bay's cutting style, which resembles a machine gun stuck in the firing position for 2 and a half hours.

Chicago Reader Jonathan Rosenbaum

Not wishing to spoil the fun -- pretty hard to come by anyway in this 1998 blockbuster's 150 minutes -- I won't tell you the outcome, but I'll wager you can guess.

Washington Post Stephen Hunter

So predictable it could have been written by a chimp who's watched too much TV, the huge movie is as dumb as it is loud, and it's way too loud.

Rolling Stone Peter Travers

How do I hate Armageddon? Let me count the ways.