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Mail Order Bride
Small Planet Pictures

Mail Order Bride reviews
Critic Score
Metascore: 9 Metascore out of 100
User Score  
4.4 out of 10
based on 6 reviews
Read critic reviews
How did we calculate this?
based on 9 votes
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MPAA RATING: R for language and some sexual content

Starring Danny Aiello, Robert Capelli Jr., Ivana Milicevic, Artie Lange, Slava Schoot, Raymond Serra, Marilyn J. Papa, and Jackie Martling

When New York's top mob boss Tony Santini (Aiello) discovers several of his men have been scammed by a Russian Mail Order Bride who's escaped back to Russia with their cash, he decided to send the troublesome nephew Anthony to Russia to bring back the girl and the money.


GENRE(S): Comedy  |  Crime  |  Romance  
WRITTEN BY: Doug Bollinger
Robert Capelli Jr.
Sergey Konenkov
 
DIRECTED BY: Robert Capelli Jr.
Jeffrey Wolf
 
RELEASE DATE: DVD: February 22, 2005 
Video: February 22, 2005 
Theatrical: November 21, 2003 
RUNNING TIME: 84 minutes, Color 
ORIGIN: USA 

What The Critics Said

All critic scores are converted to a 100-point scale. If a critic does not indicate a score, we assign a score based on the general impression given by the text of the review. Learn more...

20
Village Voice Nat Johnson
The hapless goodfella-in-training is as unsuccessful at fulfilling his uncle's wishes as the star and co-director, Robert Capelli Jr., is at delivering punchlines.
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20
TV Guide Maitland McDonagh
This amateurish comedy features some amazing sequences shot in Moscow. But everything else about it is second rate.
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20
The Hollywood Reporter Frank Scheck
Ultimately unable to overcome both its amateurish qualities and its overly familiar elements.
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20
Variety Ronnie Scheib
Dismally unfunny cross-cultural farce posits stupidity as the universal language.
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12
New York Post Megan Lehmann
As if the witless cultural stereotypes weren't bad enough, misogyny is rampant -- bare-breasted women abound, yet the protagonist remains fully clothed while having a bullet removed from his butt.
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10
The New York Times Stephen Holden
Might have generated a laugh or two had it not forced the actors into uncomfortable extremes of caricature.
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What Our Users Said

Vote Now!The average user rating for this movie is 4.4 (out of 10) based on 9 User Votes
Note: User votes are NOT included in the Metascore calculation.

Sam gave it a0:
Hey! look at the theatrical release date for the movie, and the DVD and video release date Tina P. and Jim P.! It says it came out on 2003 and 2005, what does that tell ya? It tells me that when it a few months after it came out in theaters, the people that made it thought "Oh s..t, we made that sucky movie and we still have to put it on video an DVD, I just forgot all about it since it easily the worst movie I've ever made and the worst movie I've ever seen, let's just put it out and get done with it for christ's sake!"

kurt gave it a0:
Worst movie ever made? possibly rather eat the film than watch it.

Dave W. gave it a1:
The movie's only redeeming feature is the vast sense of relief you will feel when you walk out.

Armando S. gave it a6:
The performances were uniformly good-the premise was believable and there was a fair amount of humor-definitively a black comedy.

Tina P. gave it a 9:
I thought this movie was hysterical. I laughed from begining to end. I thought Robert Capelli jr has absolutely charming and terrific. I would like to see more of him.

Jerrad H. gave it a 2:
Ummm...how can this only have a metascore of 6 if all four reviews given are at least 10? [Ed: See Scoring Explained page... raw averages are normalized]

Jim T. gave it a 10:
This had to be the best movie of the year!

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