Pacifier, The

Los Angeles Times Kevin Thomas

Has sufficient mayhem to please Diesel's action fans while allowing the star to reach out to family audiences.

The New York Times Janet Maslin

Mr. Diesel could not have succeeded as a genre-switcher without the proven television talents of the film's able ensemble.

Dallas Observer Robert Wilonsky

Here's a bizarre hodgepodge of influences: "Kindergarten Cop" meets "Sound of Music," filtered through the Hulk Hogan movie "Mr. Nanny." The formula, by now so overused it's actually formless, is pure Disney

Chicago Sun-Times Roger Ebert

All very nice, sometimes we smile, but there's nothing compelling.

San Francisco Chronicle Carla Meyer

Unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger, however, Vin Diesel shows no discernible comedic skills.

Miami Herald Connie Ogle

Don't expect perfection, and you'll emerge from this goofy movie all in one piece, with reasonably entertained kids and a milder headache.

Philadelphia Inquirer Gary Thompson

It's the sort of stuff younger viewers will love.

USA Today Mike Clark

Low on Diesel fuel, though probably amusing enough if you're part of the intended demographic, which appears to be the age group that likes to stick fingers up noses.

Variety Todd McCarthy

If auds swallow this odoriferous exercise in calculated career repositioning, they'll swallow anything.

The Hollywood Reporter Kirk Honeycutt

Vin Diesel is out of his element in this lame family comedy.

TV Guide Angel Cohn

Most of the occasional chuckles are provided by the spunky York, who really gives Diesel a run for his money.

ReelViews James Berardinelli

Offensive because it offers little more than unleavened stupidity in the place of the family-friendly action and comedy it promises.

Chicago Tribune Michael Wilmington

Cheerful but mind-numbing.

The Globe and Mail (Toronto) Liam Lacey

Director Adam Shankman pushes together scenes with little rhythm or flow. Writers Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant ignore credibility, throw in pointless sight gags, treat humiliation as comedy and use tiresome ethnic stereotypes. In short, Diesel doesn't get the help he needs.

Boston Globe Ty Burr

JUST worth your children's time, and hardly worth yours.

Entertainment Weekly Owen Gleiberman

A yawn-by-numbers romper-room dud.

Village Voice Laura Sinagra

Disney misfire.

The Onion (A.V. Club) Nathan Rabin

Revealing hitherto unseen depths of stiffness, Diesel stumbles badly in the role.

Chicago Reader J.R. Jones

Director Adam Shankman (Bringing Down the House) can't block a sight gag to save his life.

Washington Post Desson Thomson

With no real comedy to enjoy, it's torture to watch Diesel undergo a predictable change from emotionless soldier to loving family man. Makes you want to spit out your pacifier in disgust.

Seattle Post-Intelligencer Sean Axmaker

Ultimately this soppy Pacifier sucks.

New York Daily News Jami Bernard

An abysmal comedy that should have been strangled in its crib.

New York Post Lou Lumenick

If the once red-hot Vin Diesel's overhyped career wasn't finished off by last summer's mega flop "The Chronicles of Riddick," the alleged family comedy The Pacifier ought to do the trick.

Premiere Peter Debruge

Diesel valiantly but unsuccessfully tries to raise this inane bit of Mr. Mommery above its afternoon-special standing.

Rolling Stone Peter Travers

It just plain sucks.

Empire Anna Smith

Fails on both an emotional and comedic level.

Austin Chronicle Marrit Ingman

Is it funny? Not for a minute.