Scorpion King, The

San Francisco Chronicle Mick LaSalle

Like every other action movie, it's designed for a 14-year-old boy's mentality, but it's enjoyable enough to turn most people into 14-year-old boys.

Salon.com Stephanie Zacharek

The Scorpion King, so far from perfect it isn't funny, is nevertheless one of those movies that catches you up in something bigger than yourself, namely, an archetypal desire to enjoy good trash every now and then.

Variety Dennis Harvey

Rouses excitement mostly from stuntwork and thesp agility rather than CGI excess.

LA Weekly Chuck Wilson

Director Chuck Russell ("The Mask") keeps the computer effects to a minimum, emphasizing instead the essential ingredients of a Saturday-afternoon serial, namely, venom-tipped arrows, pissed-off cobras and a buxom babe.

New Times (L.A.) Luke Y. Thompson

Chuck Russell doesn't make masterpieces -- he makes good B movies ("The Mask," "The Blob"), and The Scorpion King more than ably meets those standards.

New York Daily News Jami Bernard

Has been fine-tuned for adolescent boys, from the hectic pace right down to the way Cassandra's breasts are always barely draped.

Chicago Sun-Times Roger Ebert

Here is a movie that embraces its goofiness like a Get Out of Jail Free card.

Chicago Reader Ted Shen

Within the limitations of the genre, the film succeeds fairly well, with enough giddy sophomoric humor, stunning fights, titillating sex, and exotic sets and costumes to keep an audience entertained.

Film Threat David Grove

The film is dumb, formulaic, the other actors are scarcely worth mentioning, and the plot is merely an excuse to set up the action scenes. But it didn’t bore me; The Rock is ceaselessly entertaining.

Los Angeles Times Kenneth Turan

The movie itself is a live-action cartoon, a fast-moving and cheerfully simplistic 88 minutes of exaggerated action put together with the preteen boy in mind.

Seattle Post-Intelligencer Sean Axmaker

The Rock manages to play both with a crude candor more genuine than the entertaining if contrived spectacle around him, and a surprising big-screen charisma and ease that makes him a natural-born screen hero.

Entertainment Weekly Owen Gleiberman

Isn't incompetent; it's just plodding and obvious. If anything holds it together, it's The Rock's ironic ability to tread lightly, which the movie is neither fast nor inventive enough to recognize as different from the spirit of Arnold.

Boston Globe Wesley Morris

For a movie with such a misplaced sense of history, The Scorpion King seems afraid to have more fun with its own stupidity.

Miami Herald Rene Rodriguez

The good news about The Scorpion King is that The Rock turns out to be a charismatic, ingratiating screen presence.

ReelViews James Berardinelli

It is possible to make an engaging action/adventure picture of this sort, but The Scorpion King isn't it. The movie isn't godawful, but it's far from inspired, and, as I sat through its 90 minute running length, I found my mind wandering.

The Onion (A.V. Club) Nathan Rabin

Prototypical summer-movie fare, designed to be consumed, enjoyed, and forgotten all at once.

TV Guide Maitland McDonagh

It's impossible to overstate how deeply dumb all of this is, but it skims along at a brisk clip and manages not to overdo the nudge-nudge, wink-wink humor.

USA Today Mike Clark

Of course, The Rock looks the part, though with a headband and buckskin, he'd also look like Tonto on steroids.

Chicago Tribune Michael Wilmington

A dumb movie, but it's also a knowing one: a cheap castle of lewd trivia and corny excitement built on The Rock.

Charlotte Observer Lawrence Toppman

The Rock isn't always comfortable delivering dialogue. He's handsome, physically sculpted and farther along dramatically than Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Conan the Barbarian," but he's still learning the simple acting skills an action hero needs.

The Globe and Mail (Toronto) Liam Lacey

The style here is much more in the spirit of the smash and slash of the Conan movies than the banter and computer-generated monsters of the Mummy movies.

Wall Street Journal Joe Morgenstern

Predictably dumber than its predecessors, though that shouldn't get in the way of its profitability.

Baltimore Sun Michael Sragow

Plays like Abbott and Costello Meet Conan the Barbarian.

Portland Oregonian Shawn Levy

Bang-bang, kiss-kiss, yawn-yawn. While dull death metal churns on the soundtrack, Johnson engages in one big brawl after another.

Washington Post Stephen Hunter

Ultimately undone by its sheer busyness. The screenwriters never get the story to settle down, and it becomes a case of one damn thing after another.

Village Voice Ed Park

Director Chuck Russell lacks the visual panache, the comic touch, and perhaps the budget of Sommers's title-bout features, which refined a historically grounded B-movie sensibility into pure, gasp-inducing entertainment.

Washington Post Dan Via

The movie doesn't stink exactly, but it comes dispiritingly close.

New York Post Jonathan Foreman

Unfortunately, Scorpion King has none of the qualities -- epic sweep, relative originality and heartfelt bloodthirstiness -- that made "Conan" so trashily entertaining.

Austin Chronicle Marc Savlov

For all the swords 'n' sandals hoodoo that makes up the wilting backbone of Jonathan Hale's script, the Rock is, nevertheless, fun to keep an eye on.

The New York Times Stephen Holden

As this chaotic barrage of muscle flexing, swordplay, fireballs, crude digital effects and comic-book quips hurls itself off the screen, it's like having several garbage cans clogged with stale pizza, lukewarm cola, soggy French fries and greasy, ketchup-stained napkins emptied over your head.