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Valentine

EMAILPRINTWarner Bros.

Valentine reviews
18
5.5 User Score:

Overwhelming dislike

Based on 17 critic reviews
How did we calculate this?

Based on 12 votes
Read user comments
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Movie Info

Genre(s): Mystery

Written by: Tom Savage (novel)
Donna Powers & Wayne Powers
Gretchen J. Berg
Aaron Harberts

Directed by: Jamie Blanks

Release Date:
Theatrical: February 2, 2001
DVD: July 24, 2001

Running Time: 95 minutes, Color

Origin: USA

Summary

RATING: R for strong horror violence, some sexuality and language

Starring David Boreanaz, Denise Richards, Marley Shelton, Jessica Capshaw, Daniel Cosgrove, Jessica Cauffiel, and Katherine Heigl

Five best friends are each looking for a relationship -- a valentine to die for. And this year they might just get their wish. (Warner Brothers)

What The Critics Said

All critic scores are converted to a 100-point scale. If a critic does not indicate a score, we assign a score based on the general impression given by the text of the review. Learn more...

80

Los Angeles Times Kevin Thomas

A smart, stylish horror picture that offers a fresh twist on the ever-reliable revenge theme and affords a raft of talented young actors solid roles that show them to advantage.

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60

Salon.com Andrew O'Hehir

OK, so Valentine is, like, this new serial-killer movie that totally blows. But kind of in a good way. Like, it's funny.

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50

San Francisco Chronicle Mick LaSalle

Valentine isn't scary, but it is unsettling; not ultimately satisfying, but arresting in the moment.

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50

Chicago Reader Lisa Alspector

Lightweight slasher.

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38

USA Today Staff [Not Credited]

A nose-bleeding mass murderer wears a mask that suggests Roger Ebert is knocking off a group of lifelong female friends.

25

New York Post Lou Lumenick

The dreary, direct-to-video quality of the script, acting and cinematography in this latest entry seemed to inspire more yawns than screams, and not a few titters.

25

Christian Science Monitor David Sterritt

The slasher-movie genre may never die, but can't its perpetrators think up variations more clever than this by-the-numbers rehash?

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25

Entertainment Weekly Owen Gleiberman

Doesn't contain a single scary or imaginative moment.

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25

Boston Globe Jay Carr

A flagrantly retro example of a tired genre that would vanish in a puff of smoke if anger management classes were to enter the picture, or if it would ever occur to any one of its endless stream of victims to reach for a light switch before proceeding into a spooky place.

20

TV Guide Maitland McDonagh

Director Jamie Blanks "Urban Legend" appears to be carving himself a career making slasher movies for a new generation; unfortunately, he's in no way improving on the originals.

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20

Variety Dennis Harvey

Looking good but lacking much in the way of personality or gray matter -- rather like its characters -- Valentine is a straightforward slasher pic that's acceptably scary until a weak finale.

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10

LA Weekly Paul Malcolm

Highly reductive and deathly dull slasher flick.

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10

The New York Times A.O. Scott

It feels like both a joke and a turkey.

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10

Film.com Gemma Files

Valentine simply mines the same tired, predictable slasher-movie vein as everything else he's (Blanks) done thus far. Send this one back unopened.

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4

Mr. Showbiz Cody Clark

Because so little of what occurs on-screen either engages or entertains, there's ample time for the boiler of your self-respect to build up quite a head of indignation at the forfeiture of your time, money, and (exceedingly minimal) cerebral exertion.

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0

Austin Chronicle Marc Savlov

Valentine succeeds only in boring you to death.

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0

New York Daily News Elizabeth Weitzman

Lacking the requisite post-"Scream" irony, the film is simply a package of gougings, stabbings, drillings and guttings, all tied up with a "twist" ending that anyone with a still-functioning brain could figure out in a matter of minutes.

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What Our Users Said

The average user rating for this movie is 5.5 (out of 10) based on 12 User Votes

Note: User votes are NOT included in the Metascore calculation.

chuck yo gave it a7:
There isn't anything original about the movie, but it's still fun. Also, Denise Richards looks incredible in this film, and her scenes are great.

Lifestyles Of The Rich And Mulroneycakes gave it a 1:
David Boreanaz gives good brood. He can be as introspective and miserable as all-get-out. Also capable of being very frightening. Can't do anything else very well, though: brood and scare, scare and brood. He doesn't have much opportunity, alas, to do either in this. So that's a waste of time. In fact, the whole thing is a waste of time. And effort. And energy. And cake.

B. J. gave it a 3:
This is how I see things: You watch a comedy to make you laugh, porn to get you sexually aroused and a horror to scare you. With this in mind I'd have to say "Valentine" does its job as well as a porn starring Madeline Albright would. In other words, I find the story shallow and action/murder scenes boring and unimaginative. However, some people probably like it. The "twist" at the end has a contra effect making the movie even more stupid instead of better. I gave it 3 only because there are still worse movies than this one. Perhas the novel is better...

Ryan M. gave it an 8:
A new addition to the teen "slasher" genre is probably one of the best. It is certainly the best slasher since the original "Scream," and it ends up delivering more scares than the whole trilogy. Same idea to a "twist" as "Urban Ledgend" which we were expecting because both are directed by Jamie Blanks, who to me looks like a smart new horror director.

Matt M. gave it a 7:
One of those films that could be referred to as style over substance. The film itself is a predictable mess of classic horror cliches, but the cinematography and production design are exquisite. The death scenes, while not overly elaborate, are expertly executed. The performances are fair, and the direction is decent. See it simply for its look...not its content.

Ned D. gave it a 4:
Not the worst of its kind by a long shot. However, it's too bland, predictable and silly to ever be anything more than it is: A gory time-waster that will evaporate from memory mere seconds after the credits roll.

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