Whole Ten Yards, The

The Hollywood Reporter Kirk Honeycutt

Things spin swiftly out of control with uneven acting and misfired physical gags.

Entertainment Weekly Owen Gleiberman

It's every bit as nonsensical and overitalicized a mess as ''The Whole Nine Yards.''

Chicago Tribune Michael Wilmington

A big, empty picture full of star turns, artificial energy and jokes that don't quite work, even if stars Willis and Perry do their best to slam them across.

USA Today Mike Clark

Destined to be on DVD by the time 2004 reaches the 50-yard line, Ten is more stale than it is ungodly.

The Globe and Mail (Toronto) Stephen Cole

The obvious problem with The Whole Ten Yards is that it begins with the wrong kidnapping. Instead of taking Oz's wife, the criminals should have grabbed the authors of the original movie.

Portland Oregonian M. E. Russell

This is one of those movies that also hand reviewers a ton of their own quotes as ammunition. Perry, just summing it all up: "I've never been this confused in my entire life!"

Village Voice Ben Kenigsberg

An anemic attempt at Coen-style bodies-and-bowling deadpan, The Whole Nine Yards compensated for its comic shortcomings with a casual, uncharacteristically likable performance by Bruce Willis.

Dallas Observer Jean Oppenheimer

Peet is still adorable, and a couple of twists enliven the plot, but the jokes are lame, the timing is off, the physical pratfalls are too broad, and there's still no chemistry between Perry and Henstridge.

Variety Robert Koehler

The strain needed to extend The Whole Ten Yards a yard -- and to feature length -- is so painfully evident it breaks new pic's comedy spirit, making it a particularly dubious member of the Sequel Hall of Shame.

Philadelphia Inquirer Steven Rea

Where the first pic breezed along with gags and gunplay, this forced follow-up is artificial to the hilt - fueled on a kind of trying-too-hard hilarity that makes even good actors look bad.

The New York Times A.O. Scott

At least it isn't a remake -- though given how slovenly and forced this movie is, maybe that wouldn't have been such a bad idea.

Washington Post Mark Jenkins

Will go anywhere for a gag, including into the realms of homophobic, gastrointestinal and erectile dysfunction humor.

The Onion (A.V. Club) Nathan Rabin

The least necessary sequel since "Agent Cody Banks" embarked on a London mission a few weeks ago.

New York Daily News Jami Bernard

The funny thing about this unfunny movie is that the cast is brimming with actors who are usually quite engaging. The Whole Ten Yards must be very potent chloroform, indeed, to make Willis, Perry, Peet and Pollak such zombies.

Christian Science Monitor David Sterritt

Strenuously unfunny sequel.

Seattle Post-Intelligencer William Arnold

An excruciating rehash that has virtually none of the wit and charm of the original.

Premiere Sharon Allen Burke

The gags are flat, and the plot twists aren’t enough to keep the film moving.

Chicago Sun-Times Roger Ebert

A fog of gloom lowers over The Whole Ten Yards, as actors who know they're in a turkey try their best to prevail.

San Francisco Chronicle Carla Meyer

Lacks the clever twists and turns that made the original such fun. The sequel has exactly one twist, and it's not very clever.

Boston Globe Wesley Morris

Not as desperate, unfunny, and nonsensical as its title. It's worse. Worse than you can imagine. Unless, of course, you've imagined 90-something minutes of bloopers and outtakes that congeal into a story -- much the way a scab is formed.

Austin Chronicle Marrit Ingman

The characters all feel like concoctions, like synthetic movie people forged in a crucible of Red Bull during late-night meetings at the studio compound.

Chicago Reader Hank Sartin

Every joke is stretched to the breaking point, and no one seems to be having any fun.

TV Guide Maitland McDonagh

What really sinks the film, though, is the utter absence of chemistry between Perry and Willis.

Los Angeles Times Kevin Crust

Disastrously unfunny sequel.

LA Weekly Scott Foundas

Miserably unfunny, wholly unnecessary affair.

New York Post Jonathan Foreman

Bereft of inspiration, the agonizingly witless screenplay - blamed by the credits on George Gallo - resorts to pathetic cheap jokes about flatulence and impotence, lame slapstick and that juvenile gag about the horror of two men waking up naked in the same bed.

Washington Post Ann Hornaday

Leaden, laugh-free, lacking anything resembling a heart, mind or soul.