Jesse Hassenger

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For 321 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 56% higher than the average critic
  • 1% same as the average critic
  • 43% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 7.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Jesse Hassenger's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 56
Highest review score: 91 Slut in a Good Way
Lowest review score: 16 Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 35 out of 321
321 movie reviews
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Plus One isn’t much more than consistently amusing and sweetly romantic, but in the right hands, those qualities can still feel like a lot.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Late Night is admirably eager to address the messy problems of the comedy world, but it ultimately can’t stop cleaning up after itself.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    Actual kids will probably enjoy The Secret Life Of Pets 2, just as they probably enjoy whatever mini-movies Illumination churns out to supplement its hyper-successful home-entertainment releases. But they might also start to sense just how mini this sequel feels, and start fidgeting after 15 or 20 minutes.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 80 Jesse Hassenger
    Wilde’s film gets a lot of comic mileage from its lead actors’ ability to create a funny, believable relationship. Feldstein and Dever are both terrific in it.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 42 Jesse Hassenger
    Throwing in some gnarly gore—and Brightburn indulges a couple of truly gruesome flinches—doesn’t change the plodding inevitability with which Brandon goes super-evil.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    As tedious as Rocketman is when it’s going through the biographical motions, it’s equally delightful when it launches into something most rock movies pointedly avoid: full-on musical numbers.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    What’s consistent about Photograph is the way it maintains the delicacy of a particularly fine short story, complete with some ghostly supporting characters and plenty of ellipses where more conventional movies would amp up the exclamation points.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    The real model here, of course, is "Shakespeare In Love," but that movie was also a comedy, while Tolkien is as reverent and moist-eyed as a Peter Jackson goodbye scene.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 42 Jesse Hassenger
    It ends up a whole lot of cute, branded nothing — watchable junk for young adults of tomorrow to look back on with inordinate fondness.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 42 Jesse Hassenger
    Adults in charge might want to take a cue from the movie’s penny-pinching, and save some money on movie tickets.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 33 Jesse Hassenger
    Good intentions or not, it’s a little bit chilling, this fantasy world where “thoughts and prayers” really, truly are the best anyone can offer.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Little moves quickly and can feel a little scattered, with subplots about Jordan befriending a group of middle-school misfits, April’s idea for a new app, and multiple love interests. But the film is grounded by its actors, the key to any body-swapping material.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 48 Jesse Hassenger
    The world, the movie seems to be saying, expends a lot of energy on blithely incoherent messages to women, based on half-baked ideas rather than their actual experiences. As it turns out, Unicorn Store does the same thing.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    It operates on its own little wavelength, rather than broadcasting itself loudly.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    After noble and varied entries like "Jack Reacher," "Hell Or High Water," and "The Old Man & The Gun," The Highwaymen is a crucial reminder that good Dad Movies aren’t as easy to make as they look.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 91 Jesse Hassenger
    Lorain’s film ultimately doesn’t go especially deep in detailing its romantic relationships, its friendships, or any overarching storyline. But Slut In A Good Way is more than the sum of its entanglements; the actors and the camera work so well together that it feels, at times, like a musical.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    Wonder Park has the unmistakable air of a promising movie no one has taken full responsibility for polishing into a good one.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s a watchably low-key family adventure, but that’s a low bar to clear for Nancy Drew, so well-suited to function as a gateway text—to Sherlock Holmes, Veronica Mars, Philip Marlowe, Brick, House, Encyclopedia Brown fanfic... almost anything involving advanced noticing.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 76 Jesse Hassenger
    Happy Death Day 2U pulls off a trick that isn’t especially easy for original movies, let alone direct sequels: it makes all the laborious world-building and storytelling effort feel like fun.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    The filmmakers figure out how to make a creepy kid chilling again, then stop short, closing the case too early. In other words, they’ve got an underachiever on their hands.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Like so many expensive fantasies, Alita: Battle Angel feels burdened by dreams of a franchise that may never materialize. But if a series does come to pass, Rodriguez should stick around. However briefly, big-budget filmmaking has synced up with his playground aesthetic.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s somehow both less explicit and more blandly lascivious than its nastier counterpart, equally skittish about exploitation and saying anything meaningful about its subject.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Underneath the expressive voice work, songs, in-jokes, and nonsense cameos, there is some thematic resonance to Lego Movie 2, not fully tapped.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 30 Jesse Hassenger
    The utter stupidity of Replicas sometimes makes it feel almost daring. It goes to some dark, counterintuitive places out of a seeming obliviousness to both what science fiction audiences might want to see, and how actual people might behave.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 48 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s both a calculated attempt to recapture some of the emotional magic of his successes, and a clinical analysis of how exactly humanistic but effects-driven filmmaking is supposed to work. These qualities make it fascinating, but ineffectual as a narrative — or even as a demo reel. Zemeckis seems to think he’s showing heart. Instead, he’s messily dissecting it.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Thematic muddles would matter less if Bumblebee delivered more as an action movie, but despite some neat car-chase complications, this series remains stubbornly averse to shaping its action barrages into satisfying set pieces.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    In some ways, The Mule represents a late-period version of classic Eastwood, in that it’s even pokier and more workmanlike than his best work, and sometimes downright strange.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    By focusing on Mary (the subject of its source material), the film feels lopsided, especially without any other interesting characters apart from Elizabeth.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 42 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s exorcism’s greatest hits, if exorcism were a band playing 300 casinos and state fairs a year.
    • 87 Metascore
    • 83 Jesse Hassenger
    The filmmaking itself is often witty, finding gags in whip-crack editing and shifts in perspective.

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