Conan Chop Chop Image
Metascore
72

Mixed or average reviews - based on 9 Critic Reviews What's this?

User Score
3.6

Generally unfavorable reviews- based on 5 Ratings

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  • Summary: The treacherous wizard Thoth-Amon has devised a plan to resurrect the ancient evil that is Xaltotun. If he succeeds, he will condemn the world to an eternity of darkness and enslavement. Only you can stop him, but in order to do so you must use all your cunning. All your guile. You mustThe treacherous wizard Thoth-Amon has devised a plan to resurrect the ancient evil that is Xaltotun. If he succeeds, he will condemn the world to an eternity of darkness and enslavement. Only you can stop him, but in order to do so you must use all your cunning. All your guile. You must summon all your courage and swordsmanship. You must Chop Chop!

    Conan Chop Chop is the most epic and realistic stick figure game ever to be set in the world of Conan the Barbarian, thus there will be an excessive amount of gore and flying limbs. Be warned that this may in turn lead to uncontrollable outbursts of joy and/or profanities, usually depending on which end of the sword you are on.

    1-4 players
    Play solo for the ultimate thrill of a roguelike or have your buddies along with you in online or couch co-op mode.

    Become Conan or someone else!
    All brawns, no brain? No worries! Choose between a diverse cast of badass warrior gods, and add weapons and items to match your style!

    Embark on quests of pure epicness!
    You are about to save the world! The merchants are still going to charge you for their wares, and some townsfolk may even pester you with tasks of their own. But fear not, some of them will make it worth your while.

    Explore in every direction!
    Brave the shifting sands of Koth, explore the dark woods in Darkwood, move valiantly through the searing land of Hyperboria and see the icy world of Vanaheim. Conan® Chop Chop lets you explore to the left, right, up and down! A skilled player may even find himself jumping, dashing, or moving diagonally, resulting in the ultimate 3D experience.

    Loot, loot and more loot!
    Master the fine art of delicately bashing your enemies' heads in with a broom and turning them into chop suey with a bastard sword. Conan® Chop Chop contains a wide variety of different weapons, trinkets and legendary items, each suited to tailor any kind of violent playstyle you can think of.

    Master astonishing combos!
    Perform the breathtaking 360° spin-attack to crack skulls all around you. Dash forward with the speed of light. Swing your sword both longways and sideways in a game that will have you gasping for air as you struggle to grasp the pure awesomeness of your fighting moves.

    Ruthless bosses!
    Before facing Thoth-Amon, you must defeat bosses such as The Giant Sand Worm of Koth and The Frost Giant of Vanaheim, neither of which are particularly sympathetic to your cause. Instead they will attempt to destroy you with killer moves like Lava Reflux, Tail Whip and Loogie Glob.

    Infinite replayability!
    Completely random maps and tons of weapons and abilities to try out ensure that every new game will be a whole new experience. You are bound to die more than once, but you can unlock new weapons that will be available for your next play-through.
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Conan Chop Chop - Launch Trailer
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 4 out of 9
  2. Negative: 0 out of 9
  1. 85
    All in all, the simple act of going CHOP CHOP on your enemies has been made so much more fun within Conan Chop Chop. It’s quirky and fun to play solo, but even more enjoyable in multiplayer. In fact, the game’s chaotic and funny nature makes it perfect to play with friends over and over again. With its easy to use controls and simplified gameplay set up, all abilities of gamers can pick this up and enjoy themselves. This quirky roguelite will certainly surprise you with how addictive and fun it can become.
  2. Mar 1, 2022
    80
    Conan Chop Chop's massive amount of weapons and Gear allow for a wide array of play styles on each character. Mix the chaos of co-op into that and This game is more of an extended good time than simply an April Fools punchline.
  3. Mar 2, 2022
    80
    Conan Chop Chop is a combination of challenging combat and rogue-lite mechanics that reward repeated runs and never leave you feeling defeated, even when you die. This is a game with much more depth than its colorful and cartoony style suggests. It’s also much more fun with others. Played solo or with a group, though, Conan Chop Chop’s gameplay loop and enjoyable combat are addictive and compel you to try just one run, over and over again.
  4. Mar 24, 2022
    70
    A pretty fun roguelite packed with challenges featuring a cartoonish style Conan (and other heroes).
  5. Apr 8, 2022
    70
    Conan Chop Chop is a friendly rogue lite, which goes beyond the joke by offering a fun universe, lots of weapons to try and above all a fun co-op experience. Rather not recommended for solo play, the title is not without flaws and makes some questionable gameplay choices, but there is still a rather good surprise that has the merit of not taking itself seriously.
  6. May 19, 2022
    65
    Conan Chop Chop is a straightforward roguelite. While it may be shallow in some regards on the equipment and the worldbuilding front, the ability to play with friends can make this roguelite a worthwhile experience for those who want to introduce their friends to the genre. Yes, Conan is on the easier end of most roguelites, but this comes at the cost of a less-than-compelling single player experience. If you’re looking for a roguelite to ease you into the unforgiving nature of the roguelite gameplay loop of dying over and over again, then Conan Chop Chop won’t leave you frustrated.
  7. Apr 6, 2022
    60
    Conan Chop Chop is the video game equivalent of running in place. For every fun inclusion, there is another aspect that feels left behind.

See all 9 Critic Reviews

Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 0 out of 2
  2. Negative: 1 out of 2
  1. Mar 8, 2022
    5
    A Game that should've been released long ago and struggles to stand up against all the Rogue-lites/likes that are currently on offer.

    Has
    A Game that should've been released long ago and struggles to stand up against all the Rogue-lites/likes that are currently on offer.

    Has systems such as shops and a main central base which only really serve to slow the pace of the game down, which is already slow. If they removed the base and made the entire journey linear rather than forcing backtracking through loading screens to clear all areas, the pace and overall experience would be much better.

    I think the only thing that this game has going for it is the co-op fun, because single player is depressingly boring. But even in co-op, there are no things such as power synergies between player abilities etc, so it's not overly exciting.

    Mighty Kingdom say they make games with heart, but no heart was put into the story (poorly scripted and not even animated, tbh it is extremely cringe-worthy and I can't believe that after 3+ years of development they left it at such a state), nor did they put much love into the level designs and mob variety.

    Overall an ok game, but hard to recommend. Releasing at a time when the world is playing Elden Ring and Horizon 2 is questionable, but with games like Nobody saves the world, Hades and so on, you wonder why this game exists at all.

    They could've at the very least gone for an R18+ rating with brutal deaths (especially for the bosses) which would've at least given it a selling point.

    The game is just OK, but without a serious amount of tweaks and DLC content, it'll be soon forgotten.
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  2. Sep 2, 2022
    0
    A 2.5-year-late clone of Castle Crashers, a game that came out over 13 years ago and still has more players than this one anyway. DevelopersA 2.5-year-late clone of Castle Crashers, a game that came out over 13 years ago and still has more players than this one anyway. Developers interrupted their tight schedule of making Polly Pocket games and horse grooming simulators to hammer another nail into the coffin of the Conan franchise, a semi-functional arcade game that supplants several decades of amazing art including the likes of Frazetta, Vallejo, Windsor-Smith, Buscema, and Nord with a blatant ripoff of Cyanide and Happiness. This could all be forgiven if the mechanics were particularly tight and the game worked for the most part but this is not the case. Consider this a "strange gesture with my nose," and God help you if you join "all the other [sic]" 300 some players of this game on PC this month before it flatlines like every other Conan game released under Funcom's watch except the ones about redoing your kitchen.

    April update: the game has lost 90% of its player base since I posted this on March 2. Who could have guessed? Could it possibly be because the whole game was conceived of as a joke and couldn't plausibly be a viable product? Mighty Kingdom are now in the awkward PR position of pretending they will fix the handful of highly visible bugs left in the game for about as many people that still play it, knowing that most of their rather paltry sales have already been made. What will happen next is that support will prematurely end for the game and it will be yet another discontinued Conan title sitting around festering on digital storefronts, played by about a classroom full of people.

    It didn't have to be this way, but it's rather unlikely that Funcom will be able or willing to make a decent Conan RPG before the property goes into public domain. How interesting that the Conan game that is played the most is the one where you can be most like Conan... Nah, that's probably just a coincidence.

    I'd say better luck next time but that seems unlikely given the decision-making at Funcom.

    May update: "Nah this review isn't accurate, game is brilliant," meanwhile Mighty Kingdom's financial statements reveal poor sales and stock buybacks, the game dropped to "mixed" on Steam and the last bug fix was 3 weeks ago and failed to fix the 1 bug it was meant to address. Bon voyage, MK, the whole thing went exactly as I thought it would almost 3 years ago.

    September update: average playership is down to 7.3 players at any given moment, not even enough to fill two lobbies.
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