Diamonds Are Forever is great, absurd fun, not only because it recalls the moods and manners of the sixties (which, being over, now seem safely comprehensible), but also because all of the people connected with the movie obviously know what they are up to.
Having watched 25 Bonds from **** to Skyfall, I place this one at 14/25.
But really, I'm placing it N°1 Austin "Bond" Powers.
Diamonds are Forever has one element that makes it unique: a lot of Bond movies are more or less willingly comedic. Not Diamonds. This is an utter parody, in ways that you wouldn't believe if I spoiled you.
I haven't laughed this hard at any Bond movie, and truly, it is the original Austin Powers.
The real life story is that Sean Connery was sick of the role by 1967, and quit after You Only Live Twice. He however couldn't find a new role, and was more or less forced to return to EON for a paycheck. And it shooooooows.
Connery does not even pretend to attempt to act. He looks, and very clearly is, a man on a mission: get that paycheck and get out as fast as possible. Now I don't know how EON took that attitude, and if it's the reason why this movie is a complete joke, but it produced one of the best movies of the franchise, if you admit that it's a parody.
Between a main actor that didn't even want to pretend to act, stupid characters with stupid actions, those two (I imagine ****?) assassins couple that acted so oddly and pretty much killed half the planet by the movie's end, the big villain's absolutely, monstrously stupid actions, the lines, oh the silliness of the lines, the Bond girl who must the most accurate depiction of a stupid 17 year old ever, the plot that is mad even for a Bond, the action that must have the most ridiculous enemies ever (fear the horrible pipe melding robot, can you escape its 5km/h?!)...
For the longest time watching this, I had doubts whether it was unwittingly terrible or self-aware.
At the final battle of the movie, Bond, the villain, and the girl, are in the villain's secret lair. The girl is hanging around in a bikini. Bond steals a cassette that controls the villain's superweapon. He exchanges it with a cassette that destroys the superweapon(it's a thing). He shoves the good cassette into her panties for hiding, and goes away escorted by the villain's goons.
Two minutes later, the girl comes in and proudly says "I DID IT, I CHANGED THE CASSETTES!" and we get to see Sean Connery, at the time on the ground on his belly like some old man that fell over, say in the most epic way:
"YOU STUPID TWIT YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING"
There's absolutely no way in hell they didn't know how insane that was. They knew. They knew very well they were making a completely camp parody.
And I'm not even mentioning the beyond-glorious scene of the Space Vehicle that Bond randomly steals and then goes out into the desert with with its little arms flailing about.
Watch this movie, watch it drunk, watch it with friends, and expect hilarity.
As a Bond movie however, this is more like a 0/10.
Whatever connection Bond had to the real world has now been severed in favor of delivering the most satisfying possible experience for audiences, such as a throwaway scene of Q using an electromagnetic device to beat the slot machines or allowing homosexual henchmen Wint and Kidd to devise elaborate (and yet easily escapable) traps.
The seventh James Bond movie and the return of Sean Connery. George Lazenby had some arguments during and after “On her Majesty’s Secret Service” with the producer and did not sign a contract for another movie. After checking out all options they rehired Sean Connery for a record salary. The movie starts with James Bond taking revenge on someone for what he did at the end of the last movie. Meanwhile several diamond smugglers are killed in a way that is to systematical to be a coincident. Also there are huge numbers of diamonds thrown on the market that flatten the prices drastically. James Bond is send on an investigation to find out what is behind this incidents. Again we got a good James Bond story. It has some good twist and a bit more humor than before. The plot is good by James Bond standards and it has an interesting climax. I also enjoyed the cast. Charles Gray is a great Blofeld (tied with Telly Savalas for me) and a remarkable actor. Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd are a great team and won me over. They are just so enjoyable to watch. Sean Connery is as always great as he had made the role his trademark even we he did not want to be reduced to just being James Bond. After not getting much gadgets in the last movie Q can shine again. I like Qs scene in Las Vegas and I think he is never allowed to be near a Casino again for the rest of his live ;-). The other gadgets are focused on hiding and identifying identities. For the sets and locations we got an USA theme in this movie. Nothing to say against Las Vegas. Overall another good James Bond movie. Might not be my favorite but is still worth rewatching from time to time.
Diamonds Are Forever, the seventh James Bond film, can be viewed as either one of the best or one of the worst Bond movies. Depending on how you look at it, "Diamonds" is the ultimate Bond film if you don't need anything more than mindless harmless amusement. However, you should steer clear of this one if you can't get past the silliness, poor editing, and the clumsily put together narrative. Although it cannot be compared to the original Bond films from the 1960s, "Moonraker" and "The Man with the Golden Gun" starring Roger Moore are not as terrible or ridiculous.