Machete Kills

Name: Machete Kills
Genre: Action, Thriller, Crime
Released: October 11, 2013
Duration: 107 min
Rating: 41
Cast: Alexa Vega, Antonio Banderas, Charlie Sheen, Cuba Gooding Jr., Danny Trejo

2013

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Mixed or average reviews based on 33 Critic Reviews

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USER SCORE

Mixed or average reviews based on 229 Ratings

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6.0	User Score Mixed or average reviews based on 229 Ratings

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Machete Kills

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Movie Details & Credits

Open Road Films | Release Date: October 11, 2013 | R

Starring: Alexa Vega, Antonio Banderas, Charlie Sheen, Cuba Gooding Jr., Danny Trejo, Demián Bichir, Jessica Alba, Mel Gibson, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofía Vergara

Summary: In his latest mission, Machete is recruited by the U.S. President to stop a crazed global terrorist from starting a nuclear war. With a bounty on his head, Machete faces death at every turn from a series of deadly assassins.

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Genre(s): Action, Thriller, Crime

Rating: R

Runtime: 107 min

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Critic Reviews

The Playlist Gabe Toro

Oct 9, 2013

Like its predecessor, Machete Kills is never less than busy with ridiculousness. Read full review

Amy Nicholson

Oct 8, 2013

Kills tops the 2010 original by not giving a mierda about logic or character. Read full review

Scott Bowles

Oct 10, 2013

Machete Kills dulls more than anything. It's not that Robert Rodriguez's sequel lacks any of the camp or exploitative violence of the 2010 original. The mayhem has just become boring. Read full review

Geoff Berkshire

Oct 3, 2013

As violent as its predecessor yet noticeably duller and less outrageous, Machete Kills is dragged to the finish line entirely by its director’s madcap energy and an absurd cast of major stars in strange cameos. Read full review

The Guardian Mike McCahill

Oct 11, 2013

The odd vivid shot reminds you of Rodriguez's dynamic visual imagination, but also what it's wasted on here: a project as indifferent as some of the trash that inspired it. Read full review

Marc Savlov

Oct 9, 2013

It works extremely well as a drunken, date-night midnighter or film-fest entry, all madcap bloodletting and surrealist non sequiturs. Read full review

David Edelstein

Oct 7, 2013

The carnage (with its computer-generated splatter) is meant to be campy fun, but it’s so offhand that there’s less suspense than in an Austin Powers movie. Read full review

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User Reviews

Thegodfatherson

Oct 11, 2013

Guns don’t kill. Machete Kills! Actually, the opening scene of this bizarre sequel to the even bizarre-er 2010 original Machete shows that guns do kill. They just don’t kill Machete (Danny Trejo), whom you’ll recall from the first film survived a shot to the head when the bullet was blockedGuns don’t kill. Machete Kills! Actually, the opening scene of this bizarre sequel to the even bizarre-er 2010 original Machete shows that guns do kill. They just don’t kill Machete (Danny Trejo), whom you’ll recall from the first film survived a shot to the head when the bullet was blocked by another bullet, already lodged in his skull. Machete Kills continues director/co-writer Robert Rodriguez’s penchant for outrageous plot developments performed by “what-the?” casting choices. Mel Gibson plays a villain straight out of a Bond film Moonraker, to be precise. Charlie Sheen (listed in the credits by his birth name, Carlos Estevez) follows in his father’s footsteps as the U.S. President. And Lady Gaga is introduced as “whoever she wants to be.” Name your box-office poison. If Fatty Arbuckle were still around, he’d have a cameo for sure. Yet somehow, the results work. That’s probably because Rodriguez takes nothing seriously. The plot which could fit on the back of a cereal box, but only the really sugary kind involves a Mexican madman (Oscar nominee Demian Bichir) who wants the U.S. to clean up the corruption in his country, or he’ll fire a nuclear warhead at Washington. (Apparently he’s been reading Madman Tactics for Dummies.) President Sheen, or Estevez, or whatever, calls on Machete to help. “You know Mexico,” he tells the taciturn strongman. “Hell, you are Mexico.” Helping him will be a government agent played by Amber Heard. Her cover identity is beauty pageant winner Miss San Antonio, but has the operative gone too deep into character? In one scene she texts Machete: CU There! More about the story I cannot reveal. It’s not that I’m against spoilers; I just wasn’t sure what was going on most of the time, although whatever it is, it’s as funny as a roadrunner cartoon and only about 2.5 times as violent. Machete faces off against La Camaleón, a shape-shifting assassin played by a bewildering array of actors (Cuba Gaga Banderas Jr., etc). He crosses paths with Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), whose 32F brassieres pack a 38-calibre punch. (You’ll never guess where she keeps her backup firepower.) He hooks up with former partner Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who sports a sexy eye patch and has a feminist revolutionary poster on her wall that reads Shé. And he makes use of a road-tunnel under the U.S.-Mexican border, stolen directly from 2009’s Fast & Furious. The movie runs for 107 minutes but features a ticking-clock timeline that allows it to pack more into 24 hours than, well, 24. And it opens with a fake trailer for Machete Kills Again In Space! At least, I think it’s a fake trailer. You may recall that the first Machete sprang from just such a bogus teaser, attached to 2007’s Grindhouse. So while Machete likes to say “Machete don’t” lines Machete don’t smoke, tweet, joke, etc. the one thing Machete seems destined to do is return.… Expand

4 of 8 users found this helpful44

schlaui

Nov 11, 2013

How can this man stand in front of this great selection of superstars? I mean looking at his face makes me just think "where's my pimple pick? yack!" but in the next moment all these models come and the peak of stupidity I can only see watching Germany's Helge Schneider. It's a hard trialHow can this man stand in front of this great selection of superstars? I mean looking at his face makes me just think "where's my pimple pick? yack!" but in the next moment all these models come and the peak of stupidity I can only see watching Germany's Helge Schneider. It's a hard trial for my tolerance in irony, it's such a trash movie that I must look for the next hard drink to feel like a real MAN. Oh how ridiculous! Go away! Trejo! Does humour belong in sinkholes?… Expand

0 of 1 users found this helpful01

papanez

Oct 13, 2013

As a fan of the first Machete film I really liked this movie. Great escapism over the top fun as well as a good parody of the grind house type films I saw as a teen in the 70's at local theaters both drive-in and otherwise. My only complaint about this movie was the lack of gratuitousAs a fan of the first Machete film I really liked this movie. Great escapism over the top fun as well as a good parody of the grind house type films I saw as a teen in the 70's at local theaters both drive-in and otherwise. My only complaint about this movie was the lack of gratuitous female nudity. Hopefully Mr. Rodriguez will make up for this in the next installment "Machete Kills Again... in space!" Looking forward to that one. Ignore the negative reviews! This is a fun, entertaining film; it doesn't take itself too seriously and nor should the viewer, Watch it and enjoy!… Expand

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

chw

Aug 21, 2014

I really should have seen the first Machete before I saw this, because after I watched all of this, I didn't want to watch any Robert Rodriguez movies at all (unless it was Sin City, Sin City is so badass).

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

PStakhiv

Oct 17, 2013

"Machete Kills" is inferior to the first one, has no cohesive plot, and the best thing in this movie is Mel Gibson! But it works as it is, mediocre parody with some creative kills!

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

Caestus

Dec 28, 2013

While the first movie is an enjoying experience Machette Kills is just to much of all and feels like a parody and not like a hommage to the genre, like the first on was.

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

Dovran

Oct 14, 2014

Barely any good movie . When I saw the trailer I thought that this movie would be an interesting action movie but when I watched it i realized that I was terribly . First of all lets see uhm oh yeah the budget is only 20 million U.S
which is fairly cheap that especialy hurts on the gunBarely any good movie . When I saw the trailer I thought that this movie would be an interesting action movie but when I watched it i realized that I was terribly . First of all lets see uhm oh yeah the budget is only 20 million U.S
which is fairly cheap that especialy hurts on the gun animation which basically sucks . And second off all oh lets see the story sucks. its About a mexican of a U.S or where ever he's from who must stop a drug lord . but then it turns out he saves him . so theres another character which is lady gaga or akon or whatever and she/he kills every one she meets . I didn't even finish watching before I had to throw up . so yeah… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

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